r/DatingHell | TINDER DATE ENDS IN DISGRACE FOR TRAD ALPHA!!

0:00Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergizer. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so? Fire. Try them all only at my doubles. Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergizer. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so? Fire. Try them all only at my doubles. I'm on a seafood diet. Would I seafood? I have to eat it. Tinder misadventures. Pot number one seafood surprise by stupid internet fart. That is definitely a choice of username that you can make. I think I already have an inkling of what this story is about.

1:04I think we all do. After years of listening to Red X, I've decided to throw my story out there for the internet cringe connoisseurs to feast upon. Honestly, there are more of them than I thought. Gas lists aren't necessary to LDR is at the end. Let's just get this show on the road. Hey, that's pretty succinct. I like that. Tinder is hell. Who? How dare you? That has it stopped me from bludgeoning myself against the towering wall of losers. That people swear Prince Charming is hiding amongst. Prince Charming. I assumed OP was a dude. Now I'm learning differently. I thought the seafood surprise was somebody's fish cave. But it seems like OP's a lady trolling for dudes. You're not talking bad about yourself like that. Are you OP? Is this all in my head? What's going on right now? I do realize that Tinder probably isn't the ideal place to find a real relationship.

2:08But I remain optimistic for a reason that I can't fully explain. Hope floats, man. Maybe it's just for lack of anything better to do. Perhaps it's fear of dying alone. Jesus. The people and experiences have ranged from lackluster to outright horrifying. To start this series off, I will chronicle one of the deepest mental scars for the edgitainment of any and all internet strangers. Given hindsight, the signs were all there. I should have bailed, but I tried to power through. And I came away with a true tale of terror. And you did even get a stupid t-shirt. This one is going to get heavy. I'll tell you that much. Mental scars are the ones that I fear the most. They don't heal truly, but I guess we're in it now. It all started with the swipe. As these things often do, the profile was fairly nondescript, as I recall.

3:10A bio that was clearly copy-pasted from our slash Tinder and three or four photos that made it seem like he was someone who knew how to have fun. Honestly, that goes a long way on Tinder. If you're smiling a genuine smile, you will get more swipes. As OP says, he was smiling. Despite his teeth looking a bit worse for the wear, red flag number one. It was a bit chunky, but seemed comfortable with himself. I'll let that slide. Those are both things that do go a long way for me. I think that's a good way to judge. A picture is worth a thousand words. Okay. I didn't give the swipe very much thought, honestly, beyond that. But we did match and he slid directly into the messages. The first match he had in the wild. He's the first boy. His first message was a play on my first name. He said, he wanted to wake up to the crack of God or something like that.

4:15Yeah, not the first time I've heard it won't be the last. That's what those sort of names are always like, right? There's three jokes that you'll just hear throughout your entire life every time you introduce yourself to anybody. But you laugh politely despite yourself and you hope that it might be a good icebreaker. So yeah, this dude might be a fuck boy, but maybe he was just taking a risk. To break the ice. I wanted answers. So I decided to dig in and see what he was really about. He introduced himself as Dean. Dean. Oh no. No. It's happening again. The conversation was largely uninteresting. I tell I mentioned that I'm a baker for work.

5:15This led into a long day of tribe about how he was a trad alpha male. It was looking for a woman who was worth the effort to take care of. That's that's the opening line. What do you do for work? I'm a baker. Oh, well, I'm a trad alpha male. I want to keep your barefoot pregnant behind the stove. And he's going to begrudge her for it. You need to run, OP. I'm going to what the hell you're doing. He claimed I'd be a great mother. See? Because of my ability to cook. And then went on to describe how cute our kids would look. No, dude. No. You are well past your quota of red flags at this point. Cut and run. I stopped responding to him as you should and let him continue to spin his wheels for a while. He did continue on for much longer than would normally be socially acceptable.

6:20But I thought maybe he was just nervous. No, no, you don't make excuses for him. Okay. There's no excuse for all of that. Eventually he caught the hint that I was starting to disengage completely. Honestly, I should have followed through with that ghosting. Well, there's one thing we can agree on. But he did show contrition and apologized. So I let the interaction continue. Yeah, that's how they get you. They just say I'm sorry preemptively. And you're like, aw, he might actually be sorry. He's not. He managed to keep his human mask firmly affixed after the almost ghosting. He was remarkably good at acting like a genuine person. This is why they say like when someone shows you who they are, just believe them. We talked about our life and experiences for around the full month before deciding that we probably should meet up at some point.

7:22During that month, he wasn't pushy or weird. Dean had taken the unspoken hint and remained on his best behavior. But for how long? How long before the mask comes off? Once a possible date was agreed on, he jumped at the chance to take the lead in deciding where we were going. Then mentioned that he didn't have a car and needed to be picked up. Oh boy, here we go again. If you can't take us to the place you've decided on, you don't get to decide. Uh, uh, Jesus. Oh, he says, I side. We all did. It may be that trad alpha males have better things to do than driving a car. Is they have people for that sort of thing? Barefoot, pregnant people. When he decides to let her out of the kitchen that is.

8:23Obviously, that's all hyperbole. I think. I hope. Uh, it's already fairly well written. I'm super eager to see where this all goes, man. So yeah, I should have run. I know that I should have run. Yeah, I guess I will tell you that anymore. That's fine. But remember what I said about hindsight. Stupid me agreed to pick him up. I asked where we were going. And he insisted that it was it for a surprise. Because we were headed to his favorite restaurant. McDonald's hooters, Burger King. Oh, bad. Good and B. I just shrugged and decided to go with the flow. I spent a good few hours getting ready on the day of our date. I wasn't particularly eager to impress Dean, but it has been a while since I was able to have a night out on the town. And I decided to make the most of it.

9:24I mean, you could do that without any of Dean's involvement just so you know. Uh, I showed up about 15 minutes early to the date, which is something that I do often. I take the time to decompress and relax and maybe even second-guess myself. Lord, how I wish I would have second-guessed myself a little bit harder on this day. I mean, the time to do that was the first day that you met him. But yeah, then I guess he gas-lighted you into believing that he was somebody else for a month. So I suppose I can see how you would eventually agree. So the 15-minute wait flies by. And I finally decided to roll up in front of the ramshackle house that Dean occupied. It looked more like a flop house. The yard was dead where it wasn't completely overgrown. The roof was missing more tiles than not. And there was a curious amount of children's toys strewn around. This is very ominous.

10:25I don't like it. At least it's not the other Dean that we know, right? Because this is definitely not the sort of squalor that Dean likes to live in. The Chris trucker Dean, I mean. Opie continues, Dean hadn't mentioned any kids. Regardless of the red flag parade that was marching before my eyes, I figured I was already here. I'd as well give the guy a chance. So I leaned on the horn to summon Dean. Toyota's easy choice sales event is on. Whether you're looking for the performance of the camera, the versatility of a RAV4, the efficiency of a Corolla, or all electric driving in the BZ. There's a Toyota that's just right for you. And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event ends soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places.

11:25McDonald's is putting value back on the menu. Whether you're craving a big mac, McNuggets or sausage egg and cheese, McGrittles, make it a meal and save. Your favorite is now your wallet's favorite too. Extra value meals are back. Get a big something extra with a big mac or 10 piece McNuggets, fries and a medium coke all for just $9. Limited time only, promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Ba da ba ba ba. Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergized. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so? Fire. Try them all. Only at McDonald's. There was no response. Maybe I have the wrong house. Maybe I've been catfished. Maybe I should just go home. Yes, I should have just gone home. I didn't though. Yeah, I get it.

12:25Sun cost falsy. We're already here. We might as well see. Instead, I got out of the car to go a knock on the peeling paint of that front door. I was saying a small prayer that I wasn't kidnapped and sold off into white slavery. Jesus. I guess that is the thing that some people have to worry about, isn't it? I had considered that at all. It's terrifying. As I slowly crept up the cracked walkway, the weeds reached up from every crevice. They were trying to hold me back from that door. But I persisted in my quest for dating mediocrity. You sure did, didn't you? I could hear the screams of children inside. Were these the ghosts of the future that I was dooming myself to? Feasably. Regardless, I reached the door and I knocked. A large Armenian woman answered the door. She was built like a refrigerator. And but the hairiest woman you can imagine.

13:26He raised her upper lip in a sneer. Her mustache bunching up enough to tickle the frontal cortex of any lesser being. Uh. Uh. Yes, I did think I'd read the date. Thank you for that. But if she grunted a few decibels too loud, our town has a large Armenian population. So I knew that that meant hello. And Google confirms that. That's pretty cool. Uh. Hello, ma'am. I'm looking for Dean. We're supposed to go on a date tonight. I'm neatly explained. She grunted again. Spon on her heels and bellowed something that I won't even try to decipher. So Dean confirmed for Armenian? Or is this his adopted mother? I'm interested. Presumably, she was calling Dean. I wasn't aware that he lived with his parents. His mama legbeard disappeared into the house. He had left the front door open. I realized that a small crowd had gathered next to the doorway.

14:28At least five dead-eyed children drinking a dark colored liquid from bottles that they were clearly too old for were muttering amongst themselves. Dark colored liquid like like poopsy or like Johnny Walker. I waived a greeting, but they only retreated further into the darkness of that hovel. I wasn't sure what to do at this point. So I closed the door and walked back to my car. See, that is a very smart move. Some people would be like, that's an invitation in, maybe. Definitely don't go in there. Part of me wanted to just gun it down the street and make a break for it. Seeking the comfort of my own relative normalcy. Yes, comfy time. I don't need any of this today. Let's just have comfy time. But I didn't gun it. Instead, I sat and I waited. I dooms growled on my phone for around 30 minutes before debating if I should knock again.

15:29I didn't want to knock, so I leaned on the horn instead. I was giving him five more minutes. If he wasn't there by that point, then I would just take myself out for a nice meal. Like I said, Earl, you don't need him. Don't even wait for five minutes. Get while the kittens good. That probably would have been the more enjoyable option anyways. I guess hindsight's 2020, man. Five minutes passed. And I turned the key in the ignition. What a waste of time. What a bunch of bullshit. I shifted the car into gear, cranked the wheel to pull off the sidewalk. When suddenly, Dean flung the front door open and waddled towards my vehicle. I didn't feel any relief at this. It was at least 50 pounds heavier than he was in his Tinder photos. He's a hungry boy. If it looked like he put any effort into actually getting ready, I might be more understanding about the situation, but it looked like this dude had just rocked up out of bed.

16:32It wasn't just his hair that was disheveled. He wore striped pajama pants, stained and threadbare my hero academia t-shirt, and the rattiest pair of slip-on vans that I have ever seen. Is my hero academia like the attack on Titan of this Dean? This is just a dean from a parallel universe. What is happening right now? Again, I should have hit the gas, should have driven myself right into a telephone pole. Any EMT that came to pick me up would be a far better alternative, even if our date was just to the emergency room. That's levels of desperation I never heard of. But you do make a strong point, I will say that. Instead, I just stared in shock. Is this pigman wandered towards my vehicle and let himself in?

17:32I just loved the way you constructed that sentence. The car lurched to the passenger side as he plopped down, clearly out of breath from the short trip down his walkway. His heavy breathing, airy distinct notes of halitosis, and that fetted breath only combined with the scent of unwashed rotting ball sack. As the air he displaced from the seat started swimming around the car. Oh my god, don't breathe, OP. It's the particulate. It is a quest trucker from a parallel dimension, dude. What the hell? I was speechless. This was not the date that I had signed up for. My stare continued as Dean began his rambling introduction. Hey, hey, don't start to make weight. I had a pretty crazy night last night with my gaming crew gaming crew.

18:38Oh, man. You just say the boys. You know they'll be that specific. I did sit in the line for our date, but I usually don't wake up until my mom starts yelling at me. Aren't you guys going to dinner? Isn't this like the evening time? You know, I'm a job, dude, you deez. It's good to make a woman wait anyways. They do it to us. So why shouldn't guys do it right back? He chordled. Oh my god, dude. Get out of the car. This tuck and roll. I could not do this. Words were still unable to escape my lips. Instead, the only sound that came out was similar to that girl from the grudge. Seeing that I wasn't going to engage with all of that.

19:39Dean shifted topics. He's like slightly perceptive. He knows that this talk makes you uncomfortable. He just trying to roll it out again to see if it for some reason is okay in person. I don't get it. My bad. I probably should reveal all of my dating secrets tonight. A reveal a big one, you know. He paused pointedly. Ew. I shifted my eyes to stare at the steering wheel instead. Yes, that's much more fascinating. He continued on. The big secret is the place that I take all the girls on our first date. It's my favorite seafood restaurant. Oh, hence seafood surprise. Now it's all clicking for me. How many first dates have you had, Chris? Not many.

20:39How many second dates have you had? Oh, zero. That's very interesting. I really didn't want to eat seafood. I really didn't want to be seen with Dean or even continue existing near him in any capacity. I mean, space laser is at the ready, but you might end up as collateral damage, OP. Sometimes though, the social contract twists your arm about this type of thing, particularly if you're a woman who was raised to behave a certain way. I mean, it is a fair point. Some dudes react very poorly to being rejected and now you're face to face. Now it's kind of too late almost, but I really don't want to say that. Just got it. Don't explain. Wait, he's already in the car. Oh, shit. Anything. All I had to say was get the hell out of my car.

21:39You absolute wreck of a human being. Get out of my car now. And it all could have been over if I had just said that one simple sentence. But I didn't. Instead, I asked him to put on his seatbelt. Oh, my God. Come on. He whined saying that seatbelts were for a little beta bitches. Oh, it really is Chris in there. But I refused to be ticketed over an ego so fragile that a seatbelt could bruise it. I told him he could buckle it or get out. Unfortunately, he did decide to buckle up. The cringe train rolled onward. I mean, it was kind of your roundabout way of saying I don't really want this date. And he knew that. That's why he buckled up so the date could continue. Humanity really is a rich tapestry, isn't it? Dean barked out instructions while regaling me with all types of inside or knowledge about what women actually want.

22:45And how they don't know what they want. And it takes a strong man to lead him to water and force him to drink. It's for the road good, you see. I guess it's now that this is a face to face interaction. He knows that you can't escape him. You can't ghost him in real life like you did on Tinder. So you have to sit here and listen to him spout whatever the hell this is supposed to be. All I could manage in response was a series of disinterested. Oh, and okay. And Jesus Christ. He did not get the hint. I just wanted to melt away. Why was I in this situation? Why was I letting it continue? How could someone seem so normal and even perceptive online and then reveal themselves as such a complete mess in person? The signs were there, Opie. I hate to tell you all this left to do now is is ride this one out.

23:46I should have questioned him, but really I didn't have much to add to his monologue since my own inner thoughts were now spiraling out of control. And I couldn't get a word in edgewise anyways. Maybe he could turn it around and we'd have some nice conversation when we got to the restaurant. It totally. He's probably just looking for someone to help him become the best version of himself. I don't know how dating works. If this didn't go well, I told myself a thousand times that I'd never find myself in another situation like this again. Isn't it funny how we lie to ourselves? It is funny. Yes. All you can do once you live through it is look back and laugh about it. Anyways, eventually Dean screeched for me. I'm going to go and get a job and find a place to park. I complied. I just didn't have the energy to argue.

24:46It might be because of the lack of oxygen. Throughout this 10 minute trip, my car had become inundated with Dean's stench. Imagine rotten sour cream wrapped in a piece of moldy, have already cheese and sprinkled with sweat from a mountain troll. Little did I know that was not the worst of the night though. Not by a long shot. Just try to convince him to take a bus on the way home. You know what's fun? You know what if I really sexy? Public transport. Finally snapping out of my days. Looked around to see the ultra secret seafood restaurant that had only been talked about in hush whispers. I'll give you a moment to guess for yourself what the place was. Not some well kept secret as he had implied. It wasn't some quite pole in the wall. Wasn't even a fucking red lobster. We had just pulled up into the parking lot of a long john silvers.

25:49Uh, this is the worst seafood surprise. Where's seafood period? Have you ever been to a long john silvers? Maybe. Have you ever been to a long john silvers by choice? Ew. It's seafood fast food. And it's just the worst quote unquote food that you could possibly put into your mouth. I think we had one on base in Yucosca and yeah, I tried it once and never went back. Uh, I agree with this op 100%. What? You're so perfect. This can't be real life. We have just lost cabin pressure. We are heading directly into free fall. Finally, I found my voice. What the fuck is this?

26:50Uh, that's the first thing the lady says on the date. You probably look at the second date. Dean unabashedly said it's long john silvers. Uh, it's the best seafooded town by a long shot. The price is also pretty good. So you can eat as much as you want. I really would prefer quality over quantity if you please. Damn it. Uh, he continued barreling through extolling the virtues of long john silvers as I reluctantly followed him inside. No, let him walk inside. You get in the car. Uh, it's not getting better, especially not from here. He didn't bother holding the door open. Why would he? It isn't necessary, but it can be a nice gesture. I think that you still even thought that was going to happen. It's just ludicrous to me.

27:51Uh, it's not even though the remotest possibility at this point. Instead, he bounced up to the counter and started rattling off his order to the worker drone station that the register. It was a long order. He ordered enough to feed like five or six people. He was ordering for both of us until he turned and asked, uh, did you want anything? Uh, yes, I do want something. Can we go to red lobster? Can we get some cheddar biscuits for God's sake? The fam ain't even cheddar biscuits, but this random broad is even cheddar biscuits. Oh, he says I choked out a number representing one of their combo meals and tried to hand him $10. He made a great show of refusing the $10 for claiming that a lady should never have to pay for her road deal. The worker drone stared on looking about as vacant as I felt.

28:53I think Dean expected the restaurant to start clapping at his chivalrous gesture. Oh my God, there were actually other people in there eating long john silvers. Uh, instead the drone did not clap and just went back to scrolling on his phone. Well, I went off and found a place to sit when Dean flopped into the seat next to me. I asked if he could please sit across from me instead. He ignored that request, extending a flabby arm across my shoulders, rubbing his putrid armpit on the shoulder of a blouse that really liked, but later I had to burn. Oh God, casualties of war. This is terrible. It's the first date. Oh, we should get close, you know, and get to know each other. He crawled, go and sit over there, Dean, or I'm leaving. I finally insisted. I have no idea how the date even got this far.

29:56You don't even look like your picture. His ego was hurt now. He rambled on about how the picture was actually him. He just photoshopped it a little and girls do it too. One of these bitches on dating apps have to be so shallow. Probably just looking for a chance to take a home and rearrange their guts. I love that so much. Uh, women should be submissive. That means not being choosy. They should feel honored that any man would need to take them on as a responsibility. Oh, are we living in like 1800 something? Uh, she'll never be your responsibility. I'm so confused by this mindset. He's like kind of white nighty, but also with some in-cell rage mixed in. Where is that vice versa? I'm really confused, man. Eventually, all I heard was a high pitched whining in my ears as I had a Vietnam flashback

31:00to all the nice guys and neckbeards that I had to run across during high school. It was the same speech that they all seemed to end up giving verbatim. I sat with my head in my hands and he did not stop this auditory assault until our number was called. He fetched his food. He went back to the table, made another trip, and then a third. Until he flopped down across from me and said, Hey, there's a still up there if you want it. Jesus Christ. Uh, you're paying such a picture in my head. I was ready to boil. I don't want it, Dean. I wanted to have a nice date. But instead, I ended up in a long-john fucking silvers with a big fat fucking catfish. I expected him to come right back at me with all the rage and fury of an in-cell scorned. But instead, he just walked up to the counter, brought the tray back, and began to ravage the meal that I had ordered.

32:07Uh, he's a hungry boy. It sounded like rhinoceros crap. Being sucked down a bathtub plug hole that had been severely clogged with pubic hair, which had been matted together by decades of coombs spent on myriad anime waifus. Uh, you're a waffle stopper, I see. I did. Uh, I covered my ears. I fumed. I wanted to cry, but I would not allow this creature to break my will. Yeah, that's exactly what he wants. As soon as you start crying, he gets an erection. Uh, I should have said it out loud. I hadn't said more than 20 words during this entire date. That wasn't about to start talking now. Besides, Dean seemed perfectly happy to just hoover up every speck of greasy fried seafood. In relative silence, all I could do was sit and glare.

33:07I stare had turned into a glare and there is a subtle difference, but I don't think that Dean was equipped enough to detect that shift for minutes on end. I simply watched the spectacle unfolding before me. Uh, I want to film that, bro. Farms of cranes, little social media cloud, nothing wrong with that. Uh, he chomped and he glorped and he gobbled until he had decimated everything that lay before him. Augusto's sweetheart saved some room for later. Then he sat back and unbuckled his belt while padding his engorged stomach, disgusting. Just no shame. No shame whatsoever. First date, bro, you just lay in all your cards on the table like this. Seems like you really enjoyed that. O.P. says sarcastically that she gets up and starts heading to the car.

34:09Dean jiggled after me outside like a very overfed and very stupid puppy. Again, I said nothing. I got in and started the car. Uh, O.P. doesn't say a lot, douchey. When she does, it's very to the point. Brevity is levity as they say. But yeah, you need to have a hard conversation. I don't know how much they'll help. Honestly. Uh, he'll never learn. Are we going to cut to three years later when they're married because O.P. didn't say anything? Come on. Uh, more outbursts. It's fine. If one didn't work, you go bigger with the next one. So O.P. gets in and starts the car and right as I was going to peel out and let him walk off that greasy feast that he had consumed. Dean wrenched the door open and but slammed into the seat. As he did, he let out a rather large fart and started giggling like a child.

35:10Good thing I didn't let that one rip in the restaurant. He chuckled. I was not amused. Yeah. Just let it rip in my fucking car. You goddamn abomination. Uh, my patients had been stretched to its breaking point. But still, I did not say so. I was simply ready for this dumpster fire to be over with. Surely the worst of our interaction was over now, right? We could just part ways and never speak again, right? I never expected that my poor car would be left with one more souvenir on that fateful night. Something far more disgusting than Dean's stench. I can't read the bad. About the end of my seat. We pulled out and bounced down the road. The windows were promptly rolled down, which I suppose Dean took as an invitation to continue his butt orchestra.

36:12He'd fart and laugh every couple of minutes. I can't begin to fathom the reason either he's completely given up like I have or he's trying to rebuild bridges in the worst way possible. I hate to tell you, people, he's given up long before you got on the scene. Regardless, I sped down the streets. Freedom was calling my name. I just wanted to get this guy out of the car so I could disinfect, sanitize, deodorize and cleanse. Not just my car, but myself as well. Yeah, but some stains they never truly wash out. Do they, O.P.? We were in the home stretch. Another minute or two and we would be rid of each other. Then I noticed that Dean had gotten very quiet. I was in his face turning a strange shade of green. I thought he was going to throw up, but it was even worse than that.

37:13No. As we headed down his street, I hit a speed bump. The jolt must have stirred something in Dean because he let out another fart. This one sounded different from the others, however. It was low and wet. It sounded like a choked blast from a tuba that had been stuffed to the brim with congealed mayonnaise. Don't say it. Don't say it. If you don't say it, then it's not actually real. Dean did not chuckle like before. Instead, his face shifted from green to a block. Dean to a blushing red. I slowly looked over at him and the smell hit me. Rancid, greasy sick people poop. The kind of poop that comes out of a sick and dying person right before they kick the bucket.

38:21We all know those poops. Why did he eat so much grease? Not that he really could have turned it around, but God damn. Not like this. My eyes widened. As realization dawned on me, I started to scream. All of the frustration that had built up over the night right into Dean's stupid fat face. What I said wasn't really words. It was pure emotion, a screech of incredulity, pain, confusion, and of course the disappointment that I'm sure his mother felt every single day of her life. I don't think that sound could even be replicated. Finally, she's letting the hate flow through her. We were still down the street from his house. Maybe another 50 yards away, but instead I mashed the brakes and continued slamming him with a nonsensical torrent of emotion.

39:30Here we go. That's what it takes. We all have our breaking points. Apparently OPs is just a lot further back than anybody else. Dean wasn't going to sit around for the nonsensical torrent of emotion. Instead, he fumbled with the door, let himself out of the car, lean back in to tell me he had a lovely time. Before I gave him one more resounding, hate fueled. Fuck off! And so he did. But it what cost O.P. but it what cost? I love that he leaned back in and he's like maybe I could still salvage this. Ah, it's the Ambrosia. I watched him waddle his way back home. The greasy brown stain on the back of his pants only growing with each step.

40:32I looked down into the passenger seat. It would never be the same again. I hate to go into any more disgusting detail, but suffice it to say, it was splash back. The diarrhea fountain had stained not just the bucket, but it had spurred it up the back of the seat as well. Oh, how far up the back of the seat? It had some velocity to it, bro. I'm surprised he didn't get the back seat as well. Jesus. I cried. Honestly, yeah, what else would you do in that moment? She just wanted to have a nice time. I really do hope you find better out there on Tinder. Yeah, in order to do so, we got to pay close attention to those red flags, right? So OP cries sitting there in that disgusting car.

41:35I had a long ugly cry with the windows still fully down. Probably just get out of the car. I considered approaching Dean's mother for money to get my car re-opposted, but even the state of the house, not sure she had much to give on behalf of her son. Even if by some miracle, she was willing to do so. No, this was my problem now. I finished crying. I drove home. I spent weeks having the stare at that stain, but eventually I was able to buy a completely new seat, quote unquote, new used seat from the junkyard. No more ghost Dean sitting passenger and laughing at his own honking asshole. Is this whole thing like a giant reference to Chris Drucker? OP does proclaim to be a red X-Fan. It's a curious thought. I'm still amazed at how this specimen managed to lure me into a date.

42:38While I was far too passive, I'm going to mark that down as an experience. Does happen. I'll be much more bold in the future. I did tell myself that I'd never get to be a red X-Fan. I did tell myself that I'd never get on Tinder again. After this experience, it is by far the worst interaction that I've had with another human being ever. But eventually the allure of online dating called me back. I do have even more stories to tell, but those are tales for another day. Thanks to red X. If you read this, you're very welcome. Please subscribe to him on YouTube if you haven't. I will see you again next time. My little Tinderlings. Don. TLDR. After a terrible date, Trad Alpha male Tinder guy pooped in my car. There you go again. Brevity is the soul of wit. But reading the TLDR is not half as effective as reading the whole story. There was pain, there was suffering, there was property damage.

43:40Maybe a lawsuit is in order, but like OP said, I mean, what can she really take from the guy that he hasn't already taken from himself? I'm going to reach out to this OP. I'm going to ask some hard questions and hopefully we'll be able to get some more content like this because this is insanely delicious. Even if the other dates weren't as bad, just tell me. Just tell me because the way that you write it is wonderful and I want to hear more. I hope that you guys enjoyed it as well. Please don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. All them things very helpful. Okay, you can also follow me on the TikTok, Facebook, Discord, Twitter, whatever else you want. I'm trying to get those podcasts services back up too, but I don't know. Be patient with me. Okay, there's a lot loaded on this plate at the moment. Uh, you can also support monetarily if you want Patreon, YouTube channel members. The little thanks button. Hey, what do you dollars work like three or four? Michael hit a scrap like that, right? I would be appreciative of any of those things, but most importantly, you know, you came out, you hung out, but most importantly, you hung out, watch the video.

44:45I hope you come back and check out what we're doing tomorrow in order to do so. Keep yourself safe out there. Wash your hands and also remember friends that you are loved. You are worthy. You definitely definitely deserve it and I shall see you in the next one. So until then, bye bye. Until I wear the crown.