Shad Helmstetter: "The Strongest Program Always Wins."

0:00This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing, what would it be? Mine's easy, patience. I want it now. I want my book written, my body back, the launch done, and when it takes longer than I want it to, I'm not exactly a joy to be around. That's not an impatience problem. There's something underneath it, something driving it. Now, finding that thing, that's the actual work. And that's what a good therapist is for. Better is a feeling defined by you. And for BetterHelp, it's a BetterHelp therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global, emotional well-being, with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash QOD. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash QOD. You got programmed from birth.

1:01Most of the programs you got are still with you. And those programs are creating the self-talk that you have today. prin치 a couple weeks ago called what to say when you talk to yourself. This clip is a little bit different. It's not an onstage talk. He doesn't have any onstage talks on YouTube, but really good information here. His QOD is this. The strongest program always wins. So he's going to reveal six things you need to know about your self-talk. I call this kind of like as an extension to this talk. I call it

2:03the proof loop. So Shad is going to talk about your programming. That's the first part of the loop. Your programming gives rise to your perception. How you see the world. Your perception is going to lead to patterns. Patterns of thinking, patterns of feeling, patterns of behaving, patterns of outcome, because each of those leads to the other. And the outcomes that you get become proof that your programming was correct. And so this is like self-consistency. We're programmed. And then we go through life proving that our programming is true, that it's real. And because we're so convinced that it's true, we never examined it. And we never change it. So you got to read this book. What to say when you talk to yourself. And here's a quick primer, which Shad Helmstetter. He's coming up. I have a confession. Believe it or not, sometimes I feel like I'm not growing. I'm doing the same

3:05things over and over again. I mean, things are good, but good can still feel like a rut. The other day I heard Martha Stewart say her favorite place to go is where she hasn't been, which is how she's built a billion dollar business over five decades, beginning in a world that doesn't exist anymore. No internet, no social media. She didn't survive all that. She went out and she learned it. Martha doesn't do ruts. She's constantly challenging herself, doing things she hasn't done before. That's how you stay relevant for 50 years. Now, how do I know this? I watched her two-part class on masterclass. And it was excellent. One of the most inspiring things I've watched in a long time. And there are 200 plus more classes, including FBI negotiator Chris Voss on negotiating your next race. Cal Newport on reclaiming your focus and Carol Dweck on developing a growth mindset. 10 bucks a month, build annually. Right now, as a listener of this show, you get at least 15%

4:07off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash quote. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash quote. Head to masterclass.com slash quote to see the latest offer. Hello, I'm Chad Helmstetter. And in this video session, I'm going to share with you six things you need to know about self-talk. Self-talk is incredibly vitally important. And I'm going to tell you why. Number one, you were programmed from birth. You get programmed from birth by everything that was repeated to you. Often, everything in your environment, from the time you were in infant, all the way on up, your parents, your family, your brothers and sisters, then your teachers at school, television, everything programs us. And the key is that any message you receive often

5:09enough, that's going to get programmed in actual neuro pathways that are formed in the brain. And the problem is the part of the brain that stores all of those programs you got, that part of the brain doesn't know the difference between something that's true and something that's false or something that's right or wrong or bad or good or positive or negative. That part of the brain just stores all of those programs and then acts on them as though they're true. So we get programmed from birth. We end up living out those programs and those programs determine everything we believe about who we are and the world around us. So everything you think, all of your opinions, all of your actions, all of your direction is based on the programs you've got. And if you've got great programs, great. If some of the programs you got aren't so great, then it's time to do something about them, perhaps, as much as 77% of the messages we got when we

6:16were growing up were negative or counterproductive or worked against us. So it's clear that as much as 77% possibly more of the programs that we carry with us today are programs that work against us. So you got programmed from birth. Most of the programs you got are still with you and those programs are creating the self-talk that you have today. Number two, your brain was wired to succeed or fail. So you were wired to succeed or fail. No one tried to do that purposely if you weren't wired to succeed. Nobody tries to wire somebody else in the wrong way. Most people, including our parents, didn't really realize that when they were raising us, they were just giving us their programs.

7:20They were passing them along to us. And so we got them. That the same is true of the rest of the world around us. It just people and all of the input that we get is basically people passing along their opinions or their programs. And so we get those. If you got the right ones, if you got a lot of good programs telling you what you could do, what you can achieve in life, instead of telling you what you can't do or what won't work or what you're not good at or what you shouldn't try. If you got the right kind of programs and enough of them, then you have success programs. If you got the kinds of programs that tell you what you can't do or what won't work for you, then you have failure programs. And what's important to know that because if the programs you have and you can sense them, you can hear them talking to you. You hear them when you talk to other people.

8:21You hear them in your own self-talk. If you listen for them, you can tell what your programs are. And if you have programs that are working against you, then those are programs that you're going to want to change. Number three, the key to wiring your brain is repetition. And I can also add the key to rewiring your brain is repetition. The brain is designed to record permanently the programs that it gets most. So the messages you got that were repeated most often, those are the strongest programs you have in your brain. And they all come through repetition. The key to success is repetition. Repetition, repetition, repetition. You got your old programs through repetition. If you want to change those, you can change those old programs, erase them and replace them by getting new programs, new self-talk with repetition, repetition, repetition.

9:29Number four, the strongest program always wins. So we got good programs and we got some bad programs. We got actually millions of programs. And those programs kind of get together and gang up on us sometimes. We can feel that when it happens. The strongest program always wins. So if you have more negative programs than positive programs, more unhealthy programs than healthy programs, as an example, then those negative programs or those unhealthy programs will win. That's the, again, that's the way the brain is designed. So if you have programs that are winning, but sending you in the wrong direction because they're the wrong programs, they're the negative kind, then when you begin listening to self-talk, you begin replacing those programs with brand new healthy programs of success and of

10:29winning, then in time with enough repetition, those new programs become stronger than the old programs and you begin to win. Number five, learning self-talk is like learning a new language. Think about it. When you were growing up, how did you learn your first language? You learned it by hearing it in the background of your life. Everything that was said to you and all of the things that were said around you, your brain through repetition began to pick those messages up and actually wire them in into neural pathways in your brain and that created your first language. Learning self-talk is like learning a new language except it's not a foreign language. It's the language of success instead of the language of failure. So look at self-talk, not as something like a self-help concept, it's not. It's the way the brain, science, it's the way the

11:34brain was designed to be wired in the first place. Self-talk is just taking advantage of that and getting the right new language, the language of success, wired in and that will replace the old language or the language of failure. Number six, you can change your programs by changing your self-talk. This is why people listen to self-talk. I've been writing and recording and producing self-talk programs for over 30 years. Now thousands and thousands of people all over the world listen to self-talk every day. The reason they do that is because they want to learn the language of success. They got programs that were working against them when they were growing up. Then their own self-talk repeated those same negative programs and they want to change it. So they do that by listening and it's exactly like listening to language learning, audio tapes. You listen to the

12:36language in the background, then you begin to practice it and eventually you learn that language. It's exactly the same process with learning self-talk. Only now you streamed self-talk to your phone or your listening device. You listen to maybe 15 minutes a day of self-talk and in doing that, you begin to rewire and reprogram your brain for success. That was Shad Helmstetter. His website is shadhelmstetter.com. You can watch Shadensire Talk on the YouTube. It's called Six Things You Need to Know About Self-Talk Shad Helmstetter PhD. All right, friends, who we got tomorrow? Dr. Wayne W. Dyer talking about your subconscious mind and we wrap things up on Friday with Dr. Joe D'Spenza. Enjoy your day. See you soon. Peace. A Better Hell Bed. Imagine carrying a backpack every day. Every conversation, every mistake, every

13:51expectation. You probably wouldn't notice how heavy it was until someone asked if you wanted to put it down. Sometimes feeling better starts exactly like that. Better isn't one-size-fits-all. Better is personal. It's therapy tailored to you to help lighten what you've been carrying. Match for the therapist who truly gets you. Visit BetterHelp.com.