Taylor Tomlinson!

0:00Stop the presses gang the American garbage special is out on YouTube right now numbers are cooking We thank everybody for their support keep sharing it keep telling everybody about it. We love you Yeah, and if you like what you saw we are on tour right now We're gonna be in Appleton, Wisconsin. San Jose San Diego Tacoma Atlanta Fully hello Springfield Fort Wayne, Connecticut, Arizona Tommonio Maryland Milwaukee Chicago Cincinnati Columbus all tickets available at rgurbg.com if you got a garbage question come out and see the boy Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or Absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage. Oh, yeah So a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out that they're good to be classy

1:00Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at hoodies in a new edition She got into a six pack of lime readers. Okay, so I wouldn't wait on dinner. All right fair enough. All right, whatever Oh My coach is coming out of your right next to me. He's the CEO of your garbage international business man runs the show boss of the family Uh, my best pal which comes in handy sometimes. Yeah, give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan What up gang shout out to you as always just make sure you leave you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube full video available over there On Spotify and the boys are climbing the freaking charts over there on Spotify Then obviously the greatest website of all time W. W. W. That patreon.com such or you garbage you go over there you get all that bonus content gang. That's right Kippie and gang We could not be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests here with us today for the first time She is an extremely funny extremely successful stand-up comedian. Yes, one of the one of the benchmarks pillars that we looked up to that we saw Hillary in our society got a brand new book out actually never mind give it up for Taylor Thomas

2:04Thanks for having me guys. I was very impressive I didn't know how to approach that because when we got up here in 2013 you were like cooking you were like in 2013 Yeah, no not in 2013 more than we were I graduated high school in 2011 so that can't be true somewhere around there. Yeah Maybe like 20 yeah, no, it's all right. I'm like I'm trying to think I was like where was I in 2013 and I think when we were Slogging out in the village when we were up here. We just remember see you were like you were like a company You're like I think you were moving that is not true man. Yeah, I really don't I want to yes, Angie so bad But I'm telling you right now. She was 11. I was I was I was not there yet I don't think I had even been to New York at that age. I think I'm so sorry No, this is no, it's only no, this is so good camera. It's a so perfect 2013 I was 19 I think and I went I was full-time at 21 and so I think I probably was Coming to New York around when I was 21. I write whatever

3:05It's alright. Yeah, no, no, it's so nice. You were you're the opposite of a creep you weren't paying attention to me when I was a teen Yes, there you go. This actually turned out great for you It would be weird if you knew where I was if this would have came out smoothly You know, no, no, that's a good very smoothly. This was it. That's what I mean. I know it's a test and you passed. Thank you Always very impressed with your career. No, that's how you did it. How funny you are. Yes, amazing. Thank you That's nice. Yeah, you just met a few years later. Oh, no, no, I was like I was on drugs And I clearly was like the worst type of kid in school where I'm just like well actually it was this time and I like that though So that was annoying. Sorry my bad. No, it's perfect I just can't take credit for being successful any earlier than I was I have with you. I respect It's just very it's very him. I wouldn't have done first. I would have aged his back. He's talking about the 80s We were all we were always like damn. She's cooking. That's nice. That's really nice. Yeah All right I'm so sorry. No, I fuck this up. No, no, no, it's perfect

4:06I mean, this most episode is what I know help try to bog down a certain date or something it's way off that's okay I just don't want anyone listening to go she's been successful. How long did they go? Look it up and they go no she wasn't she was total trash back that so you know, yeah good stuff right? Yeah, so yeah, please go back to the 70s Yes, yes, yes when I was absolutely killing it. Yes, give us the the origin story your backstory where you grew up mom's dad's California, California, everyone thinks I'm from the Midwest, but it was California It's just because I is that do you think I got a round friendly face? Yeah, and everyone goes you must be kind from a cornfield And I thought that and I understand though and I do think it's people people tell me I sound like I have a Midwestern accent But I don't think that I do I think maybe central California sounds a little Midwestern sometimes, but I get that Yeah, but also LA everybody's like you have an accent and you're like that's kindness that you're unfamiliar Yes, yeah, that's the twang. You don't recognize But yeah, group in California more like central California than like southern California when I was you know 10 or whatever okay, and

5:07Then I started doing stand-up when I was 16 so I started in high school Yeah, yeah, I took a class killing it. I know well, you know, or I was like focus sharp Focus sharp. No, there's a woman at our church who is gonna take a comedy class from like a Christian church comic And she's like told my dad she's like you guys should go and so we all took it as a family me and my dad and this woman from our church Who was great and we all Shout out Karen. We all took it together and then started doing stand-up and that guy had me like open for him sometimes and I really felt it really feels like I fell into it It's really a weird weird origin story that for a long time. I was like this is not cool and let's move on I wanted like the cool like yeah, I started high school enough sneaking into the comedy Yeah, the tortured artists and going to CBGB's or whatever they were sneaking me shots, you know like but I didn't have it like that I was like performing in churches till I was like 18 I like that was it okay? Yeah, was it a religious upbringing? Very religious upbringing super sheltered. Yeah, did you guys grow up religious at all? Catholic yeah

6:11Too crazy like serious about it or like Christmas The guilt and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, is that still is that still in there the Catholic guilt lady? I'm a mess No, the gilts and guilt. Yeah, well, me blowing that down was just a window. I was gonna ask I was like I'm so sorry You know, I beat myself up for literally everything even if it's nothing So I do relate on that level, but not it's just very very Christian growing up. Yeah, so it also made sense Why was only allowed to perform in churches makes sense as a kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's your mom and dad do? My mom well my mom died when I was a kid and then sorry that's all right and then my Dad had a couple different job. He was a music teacher when I was really young okay And then did went into like real estate. Like was he in the band in the church at all? Did he play? No, I don't think he did I'm not sure I don't think he did no, but he was very good singer and played piano and all that stuff But I have no can you guys sing or do anything he's good. He's a talented musician. Yeah a bit really what do you play guitar guitar?

7:12Man, I really if someone kind of annoying Do you insist on playing stuff at parties and stuff? No, but I'll throw it in their face a little bit Yo, go I could play that if I wanted if I want but I won't because I'm not a dead Hold on. Thanks sometimes like is that a G? I think this is a G chord You're like pretend you don't know like the rest of us You know better than us because you know what the G chord is exactly No, I wish I was better. I faked my way through eight years of band. I was so bad at it You were in band would you play band? I played clarinet and then trump it for a couple years Then I was terrible at both us so bad. What what a wholesome up. Yeah, so wholesome and then you'll wholesome face. It's all real wholesome It's not cool at all. We're gonna sit grown up. Yeah, I mean I like you when people like admit it I like when people just go. Yeah, I was cool. It's more of a embarrassing thing because like I picked him high school No, it's very successful. Yeah, you were more successful than this in high school Yeah, one of the biggest comics in the world No, I heard my podcast in high school. Yeah, you talk about it all the time. Yeah, he's uh, you know, I'm a loser

8:15Yes, Chris You're like I was playing guitar in the end zone I was in the pool team. Oh, you were see I knew it. I heard guitar. I heard cool in high school Oh, and I bet you were fucking scoring goals too rolled up my jeans rolls up your jeans Well, you got to roll up your jeans. Were you cool? I was cool. Yeah enough. I was more of a you know The hanging out smoking sigs type type. Oh, that's cool drinking beers or early, but that is different little tortured soul You know, I mean dark. Yeah, no, not at all I was a fat kid who was trying to smoke cigarettes It was not cool. I wasn't cool at all. I was in mock trial and banned Yeah, you're a band for my life Wow, not good. How big was the school you went to was it a big school? That's pretty big I think my graduating class in high school was like 800 kids whoa I think so yeah, it's big right? I mean, I heard that somewhere and I just went that's gonna be my answer forever So I hope that's accurate. I have no idea. Did you guys have lunch outside like in Disney shows? We had lunch outside like a Disney shows. Yeah, cuz California right? I always wanted that I always wanted indoor lunch

9:16Really? I wanted like a locker and stuff. We didn't have lockers. No, we didn't have lockers outside like in the karate kid I don't think we even had lockers outside I just praise it. There's a kid's no lockers. No, I don't think we had lockers in high school. No, there are no You guys grab your ice go together. This is my sibling. This is my younger sibling. Oh My next question. Sorry. I got ahead of you. Yeah, three younger. That was great. Yeah, I have three younger siblings. Okay Just a four. What about you guys? What do you got? Uh, hmm, I turn the tables. I'm so sorry are people that usually like this? No, no, it's okay I'm fantastic. Yeah, I got a match with the energy. I'm so sorry. Um, I you guys have such good like energy This is like old school radio. Well, I'm gonna teach you got any? No, no, you have it This is like good like the the the speed at which you guys gave me intros I was like I sat up fucking straight. Sure. The hey everybody You're like hey guys, what's up? And then you just went so fucking fast. I was like man Nobody's professional like this anymore. We're still brad. We're old school baby. Oh, it's impressive That's really my only good contribution to the show. I got the intro down in a lunchroom

10:18How many subs do you have though? I'm the youngest of two. I was twins my brother is 18 months old Whoa, you guys close? Yeah, very close very different. He's organized sharp But how big is podcast doesn't even have one he worked on Wall Street did well. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, yeah fair enough fair enough No matter what I do I'll still be this I got two older I got an older brother and older sister than two half young significantly younger Middle Yeah, but not all from I was the youngest and then two got added on broken Yeah, the younger ones are step kid. Yeah, okay. No, they're my half-fathers They're my half-brothers and they're significantly younger like 16 and 10 years But you grew up as youngest I and yeah, so two youngest for 10 years. Yeah, okay. That's usually The thing right for comics where yeah, yeah, I think so too oldest. I can't believe I need more attention I got right. Yeah, but I didn't get the right attention that also goes with you know how you are like you know

11:20In my mind you're like focused and you know professional about things that makes sense of you be older That's true. Thank you for saying that I do I hope people meet me and they go she's the oldest and and they know that and it's not Drogatory because it also can't be like sure, you know being the oldest daughter You are just like kind of baseline annoying and that's not my fault That's on God okay, she came up with that. Yeah, that's not my fault What did you guys live in growing up like did your dad bounce around but did you guys do well? Did he do all right? Yeah, I We were like in the suburbs refer I mean when I was really young We Really didn't have but I think we're I think we're pretty poor when we were kids like we had you know One parent working never teacher or a teacher and then like my mom is in the hospital for a couple years Like so that's sorry. This is Pretty hard to talk about like serious stuff when you guys have the upbeat energy Because then you come in you're like, I'm gonna bring down the fucking We were up here so they hey And then you're like

12:21Yeah, no, it's obviously not that It's like When you said music teacher then gone to real estate. It's perfect for the show Maybe humble beginnings and he hit real estate started doing well I think I think well then I had my dad got remarried and then the two of them started working together And in real estate in real estate. Yeah, and so my my step-mom's was like I think my step-mom was a huge Example to me of like work ethic and like yeah, she was like real a real like love to work was good at it like just Like truly in so many ways and I don't mean this in a negative way like just very different from my mom growing up My mom growing up was like a stay at home mom and so then my step-mom was this like career woman Yeah, and now I'm like a career woman. So I think I've needed I don't know that I would have known that I could that was possible Yeah, I don't think I don't know that I would have had that as readily available as an option

13:24I think I maybe would have but I don't know maybe my personal life would have been more Successful if I was more focused on getting married and having kids. I don't really know. It's so strange Don't you kind of think about that sometimes? A social life is that what what do you get married and having kids? I mean to pet I don't know you come home to people. Sure. That's social. I think so yeah, I mean A people that's pretty yeah, I think so I mean it's it's a totally different thing I mean like my buddy Dustin Nickerson who's on the road with me a lot He has like three kids and a beautiful wife and he's like when he's on the road It's like great, but when he's home. He's home and it's like he's got two jobs Like he like just clocks into his other job sure Which is like dad and husband and then goes to Comedian job and sometimes I'm like man. I wish I I wish I could go clock in to That job because it seems very grounding like I think he's like a really good guy and like a really good person And like has a lot of perspective About show business and like what's important and feels like a very grounded individual

14:26And I think like being married for so long and like having kids and like I think it helps you have like your priorities Straight in a way that maybe I don't have that you just had a baby like he's always been you know put together and organized 15 months ago Yeah, but you can see the difference. Yeah, it's like I It's um, you know obviously wrestling with it at the moment, but what you're saying with baby. Yeah, he's pretty big Same way class. This is the jacket I No, it switches where you just go like I try to think I go I used to have to fit all other aspects of my life in the comedy If that makes sense so in show family you're like comedy is the 100% if you can fit the other stuff into where the gaps are then It was beer's not of course But I'm just saying like all of your time is spent to you know Hey, I can't make the wedding. I have yes, whatever. It was all very now. It's the other way around Like how does comedy fit into my other like my real life? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's what I'm saying He's he runs you know, he's the brains behind the operation as far as like business stuff goes

15:28So he's always been smarter I have the checkbook if that's it. Yeah, I'm gonna be it But even when the baby when he had the baby he the way he focused and stepped into it is is cool Yeah, did you feel something shift inside you where you're like I'm a different person now? Not like right away, but slia slowly you just go like oh if this stuff You know you don't want to say it stops it stops being the most important thing that you know that perspective changes of like You know, so like a weekend you're like no the babies with us all the time. It's gonna be like this all the time Yeah, that is that's it like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not number one anymore. Yeah, of course. Yeah I'm no longer and also yeah, I'm no longer the most important person in my life. Yeah, I could around my head around that Yeah, he's still still I don't know if you're I don't know if you're clocking the body Still gonna bother Yeah, so it's uh, yeah, it's that it's you know, but it is you know difficult bouncing both of the things

16:32You know, I mean yeah, but the real estate I think blends the comedy because like There's a real estate agent you can start your own thing and you know, I mean it's self-contained I should have gone into real estate. I should have gone in real estate. I hear you. No, I don't know I don't know that's a good model for you know, especially the way You've you've done it. Well, it's you know, it's like salesmanship right that's all and that's all Yes, you get out what you put in yes, you have to generate your own work your own connections all that it's like very similar So she was killing it in your guy's talent. Kill it. Like the local real estate. She would have different town different town We moved to where she lived. Yeah, but she's uh, yeah, she's very very Impressive lady. Yeah, very nice. What what was your first car growing up? My first car was like a white olds mobile Whoa, yeah, it was like it had a really comfy gray bench seat in the front Yeah, it was an old person's car. Where'd you get it? Was it a hand-meet after the video? No, it was like they bought it like used so I could drive like me and my sibling to school in the morning And I was like too scared to take it on the freeway

17:34You know just terrified and I should have been I was on a good driver. So Okay, that was my first car. So like at the time I was like this is embarrassing and in hindsight I was like that was cool Yeah, I just same thing. Yeah, yeah, right? A big old white car old person's car and I was embarrassed by it Yeah, looking back. I'm like I fucking love that thing the license plate Frame or whatever I had on the back of it. It said I'd rather be quilting And I didn't take it off because I didn't yeah, of course. I was like we're gonna leave that and this is what 2011 roughly This was like 2010. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I like it Old school getting closer with the years though big. Yeah, I was working out Isaac I 20 times I mean, I've always been like the youngest for most of my career being like you know In my teens and 20s and like now I'm in my 30s and now people are like oh, you're like a person now like we can talk to you Sure, you know, yeah, you grew up in the business essentially. Yeah, yeah, so it is it is fun to like feel Feel that Feeling come up for me when I meet younger people now where I'm like 24 like

18:38It like physically hurts a little bit and that's just started happening for me in last few years and it's uh Wow didn't expect it, but I'm like oh I understand whatever was talking about now when I did all those morning radio shows in my 20s Where I was like I'm doing five shows this weekend at the Portland Helium and they were like pretty cool When are you going to bed like they were just like you're a child. Yeah, yeah pretty cool. That's crazy Kibby let's talk about brunt brunt workwear baby gang. Let me start with the wildest part of brunt workwear We're talking about the actually let you wear the boots out on a job site before you buy it Who does that you don't like them 45 yes, that's not you listen everybody's tried on choosery walking around a pay less or something putting your feet in the little slanted mirror You can't tell you need real days on the ground get in the mud work them out dog Listen seasons coming up. I need a fresh pair of boots. Um god. I did brunt last year. I'm going brunt again baby I'm a marrying guy the Marinette. That's the The mom the only uh, they're comfortable right outside the box

19:40Which is good for me because I don't do any manual labor. So I looked apart and feel comfy You know what I mean? I don't need jacket. Yeah, I don't I'm a real I give four men vibe You know what I mean? I get exactly a little something in here sharpening my pencil with a knife really looking the part They are no doubt the most comfortable boots you're ever going to wear they're the most comfortable boots I've ever worn they felt comfortable right out of the box. There's no painful breaking process like other brands Uh, and whether you need waterproof safety toes soft toe pull on or lace up. They got options whatever you need for your Job site brunt was tired of the work wear brands out there cutting corners You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up. So the built they built something better boots They're insanely comfortable and built for any jobs say for limited time our listeners get $10 off at brunt when you use the code garbage I check out just head to bruntworkwear.com use the code garbage and you're good to go and after you order They're gonna ask you how you heard about brunt do us a favor and tell them it was from the show Kid, it's talking about GLD. I'm talking GLD gang. Can every guy has those pieces their go-to's right

20:45We're talking about the shoes that go with everything. We're talking about that one pair jeans. It fits just right That t-shirt that always looks clean No matter what you pair it with you don't ever think those pieces just grab them keep it moving The one thing missing from that lineup is the jewelry gang that's where GLD comes in They make the kinds of pieces that come apart of your routine not just something you wear for a special occasion Like you're going to a wedding you gotta hot day These are things that fall in line with all of those go-to's just clean quality pieces that instantly make your fit look more fresh And listen, I'm in the market for fresh fits. That's when I go to GLD Boom everybody stays laced up. I got the wife something real nice. She wears it every day Little I told her it was way more expensive than it was till I thought I'd not that Google it And it's not just tight There's over two million customers and 50,000 five star reviews with GLD being worn by names like Justin Bebes Malik neighbors Makaya Parsons a sap rocky and plenty more and if I wasn't on guy would know who those people are The best part about it every single piece is guaranteed for life

21:48Work hard and change the game for a limited time only new customers are getting an insane deal Use the code garbage to get 40% off a GLD.com that's 40% off with code garbage at GLD.com After you purchase are gonna ask you how you're about to show please support the show telling a boy sent you do it Uh, what's your first job first job? I worked at a pizza place nice Or did a pizza place and uh, did a pizza? I don't know I'm lactose intolerant. Whoa. I don't remember. I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you Um, but yeah, I did that and then I worked Uh, did you make the pizza? I didn't make the pizza. I just took cash here. Yeah, just a cash here and then I Worked it like a soup plantation and then I worked at a soup plantation. Yeah, no waxing salon I was just a cashier to bunch of sweet plantation. It's like you said that like we're gonna know what it was Oh, I guess it's a chain. It was a chain. It's gone now, but it was uh or like sweet tomatoes Okay, they called it sweet tomato. I don't know why I thought you'd know that one But it's it was like a chain in Southern California and uh soup

22:49Yeah, soup and salad is like soup and salad. It's supposed to be like a healthy buffet Situation. Yeah, yeah soup It's pretty good. Honestly, we still like what's the what's the bread place? Panera oh better than panero right? Yeah better than panero. I love to hear that right. I think so right I don't know But I mean I assume you guys working food service when you're young? Yeah, wait a table I didn't start comments on 32 so I was really really I was waiting tables in my mid 40s. Wow. What made you start at 32? Uh, did you want to before that or was it like Did you think about it for a long time or not? Are you sad answer? Oh Sorry, we got I was I happened What happened loser Did you crash out again? I couldn't play quarterback anymore Um, I'd come up here from Philly to be an actor. I went to theater school. Oh, okay Came up here and did drugs and didn't actually pursue anything. God, I didn't have those How to accomplish. He didn't have a stepmom in real estate Admire of you especially a young age. I was an idiot and then

23:53At some point I bottomed out here and moved down to Philly in 2008 and Told myself I wanted to start acting or try to actually act and getting in front of people would be good Yeah, it's gonna make any sense I went through an open mic and we all met all through their Philly comics and yeah, it was it No other option really. Yeah, plus it gave me time in my 30s to live like a dirt bag and have an excuse for it That makes sense. No, it does make sense. Yeah. Yeah, it does make sense. Yeah, I use it as an excuse a lot I can't do that because I'm a female comic but if I were male comic, oh my god I'd be a dirtbag for a while. That seems great. Yeah different different. Unfortunately different standard Yes, not an option for me, but looks awesome It seems fun. Yeah seems fun Growing up at any point could have been a local celebrity. Who is the most famous person you met Like growing up. Yeah, nobody nobody nobody. No, but not like a local baseball radio guy anything I mean, I hope I'm not forgetting anybody, but I wouldn't even I went to Google

24:54I was like I don't even know what I could Google. I don't even know who that would be. I don't even know who that would be apparently Olivia Rodrigo lived in Temecula for a minute as well I think but I don't know when that was it wasn't when I lived there But like that's the only other person that I can think of that group in Temecula And I mean like Modesto like George Lucas is from Modesto But like people that I was there at the same time. Yeah, I don't know. It couldn't even it could have been you okay I know how to get people like it would be like oh, I met Yeah, baseball player at a car dealership or a million some shit We didn't have any of that. It's so interesting because Temecula I don't talk about Temecula that much But it's where I was like from like 10 to 18 and it's interesting because it's like an hour from San Diego And it's like two hours from LA. So it's like pretty close to like much better places But like there's a lot of you know freeway between yeah, you know, it's his own island My and you know, I only ever heard it in movies and TV shows of it. It's like I'm there and to yeah like yeah Temecula you end up in Temecula. It's never where the season finale is

25:59Bakersfield Bakersfield is a big yeah So too as well the Fresno yeah the fringe cities that get named in dialogue in like Copshills is exactly right. Yeah, okay, so where they find like you know Clues and things like the steam down in Fresno whatever. Yeah. Yeah Hmm What was uh, what was a family vacation like growing up? We didn't really go in a lot of family vacations I think the only really the only thing that would really count as a family vacation is like We'd go to Disneyland because it was close close But then you don't have to stay overnight or anything going just try to date trip Yeah, you just go and drive home cuz it's like an hour away That was it you guys never went anywhere. We stayed overnight at Disneyland right after my mom died because hospice Gave us free tickets. Wow Isn't that rough? That's the last time I stayed at the Disneyland hotel. Yeah, they were like we are so sorry about this I guess someone had donated them to hospice And they were like if you guys want to go and we're like doesn't feel like the time but okay

26:59Yeah, so it's not that's not a place to celebrate, you know what I mean? Yeah It was interesting and I think it was maybe we were like going back to school So I think we like had to go that week or something it was it was a quick it's a quick turnaround There's some whip-lap there for sure. Oh god But we were all little you know I was eight and my younger siblings were being never done that so but that it's sad that That's the thing that comes to mind when I go where did we go on vacation? But no, we didn't really go on like vacations. So I may we probably weren't super well. What did you first get your passport? When I was an adult. I got my passport probably when I Know that's yeah when I was an adult. I think I went for work probably probably I think I know or something. Yeah. Oh, it probably was for JFL. Yeah, it was it was between like 21 and 23 for sure What was the first time you had the tele? Oh my god, I think as an adult. Yeah same. Yeah, right? I thought I got invented when I was like 30 I thought I got a guy when I was 33. Yeah, I thought it was like 10 years ago

28:00I didn't know Nutella was like around for so long now we're getting there sort of was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, passport when you're adult the telly when you're adult. Yeah, is Nutella like the markers? Someone who had a good as a child. Yeah, yeah We grew up with Nutella. You did this is easy. He grew up Connecticut. Yeah, no, can you imagine? I'm like you fucking see right get you got my passport nice and have to tell at 45 whoa Okay, things are going on. Yeah What were the posters on the wall as a kid like in high school? Oh, this is gonna be so sad. I had like inspirational quotes I remember I got a book of like inspirational quote like every one of those It's like a put each one's like a postcard and they're just inspired you both did the same thing I mean, I'm I'm I'm trying to think over your mouth. No, it was so like live laugh love Or deep it off not far off from live laugh love. It wasn't live laugh love. It was actual quotes I could not tell you one of them, but it was probably just like You know if you're scared keep going like it was probably shit like that

29:01It was probably just shy of a Bible verse All right, just do and those were all over the walls and then like Maybe when I was younger like maybe Harry Potter, but like not very long because then my dad was like that The devil so you can't really yeah, yeah, could you read any of those books? I did I read them for like a year a year or two And like probably got me through like my mom's death honestly and then my dad was like this is This is satanic we can't have this is how old were you when you read that I was nine So from like nine to 12 maybe I had Harry Potter and then it was like That's out. I had younger cousins that were around that age like when those books hit yeah when those books hit They were doing the same thing yeah, and I used to look at that you said you were nine years old Yeah, that books books are like that thing right though I couldn't around my head around anybody reading them. Yeah, and this is before we knew jg rolling was a terrible person So that's I haven't heard back in the day. Yeah, but now you can't enjoy it. So it sucks. She ruined it. Uh-huh I like it. Hmm. What uh who was doing the cooking was your stepmom a good cook your dad cook who's cooking around the house?

30:07We have like babysitter so like my my dad could like grill and then You really stop there. Is it a grill and I think there was like more assembling than cooking Which is how I live my life now. It's like I can make Ingredients and then I I combine them and they're pretty simple You know like it's it there wasn't like oh here's a recipe it really here's grilled chicken and mashed potatoes It was like this is dinner and it's four cans and a bag of salad and Like a loaf of bread. You know, it's like that kind of thing That's pretty good. Yeah, it's like it's it was everything from like the grocery store that you just have to like Heat things open up get together Open yeah, mix it up, but it wasn't like and get the paprika like it wasn't like a family dish like a buffalo chicken Dipper and anything like that not We have no there's no you are hardcore. There's no family dish. Did you guys have a family dish? Yeah Really? Yeah, I didn't have anything. I have no I wish I had I think I put that in the book

31:07I wish I was someone with like a signature dish Because I got nothing. I remember like my grandma made really good potato salad All right, that was like her thing that's good and then my But like my other grandma she she claims she cannot cook But she has a few things she makes that we're all like make that like make make the the chocolate cake you make And she's like you guys could do this and we're like no, we can't we've tried But I don't have anything like that and I don't think my parents had anything like that either No, but again, they were busy. They're working. Yeah, you know So you were very was it self-sustaining what's it called self-sufficient? Yeah, yeah I think so I think so yeah, gotcha But also, you know, we had babysitters and stuff that would usually kind of throw stuff together I mean, there was like there were meal there were meal plans But yeah, it wasn't a lot of like oh, it wasn't like here. I've been cooking with my heart and soul all day for no No, no, it's like it takes it takes 15 minutes. Gotcha. Okay, so you guys have dinner together as a family Yeah, we did dinner together as a family. Yeah, yeah, so grace. I assume before dinner grace every time

32:10Every time grace. Yeah, I like yeah, you weren't doing grace We would do it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, but not just like you guys are Open yeah, yeah, in the back of the sky. Yeah, so like that. Yeah, no, we were ice closed bow down I feel we'd only do it when everybody was there Like if it was like me my mom and my stepdad we weren't saying grace, but if it was like If the five of us were together We don't know you don't pray behind exactly. He can't hate you know, he can't have acid. It's all nothing What was Christmas like lights on the tree lights on the tree colored a church or white? Oh gosh, that is a great question. I think there's an answer. There's a trashy answer when I was a kid They were colored and when I got older they were white. Okay. That's when the real estate star. I'm telling you It's different. Yeah, it is. That's a different color is trashy, right? Is the trashy air? Yeah, how about the outside of the house? Anything out there? No nothing on the outside of the house You know, it's funny as an adult at Christmas I put up two trees because I'm alone and I fucking deserve it and I put the

33:14the white light tree In the living room that's like the display tree the nice the nice room you don't go in no no my living room They're like people are gonna see and then I put a smaller one with colorful lights and bulbs in my bedroom That's ball because that's who I am I like that I just like that together. She's got to keep up appearances for the people coming over It's bigger in the front room and I go okay. This is all works with the color scheme It's like greens and golds and silvers and it matches all the decor and then this is who I truly yeah Then you get into my room and you're like oh my god Is it real tree in your bedroom? Of course not no fires Fires fires fires all right L.A. Is on fire like every year sure. Yeah, I don't want to be the guy to do it either That would be bad. No, of course not no Christmas. You imagine if they're like we traced it and it was someone who just got a little too excited For Christmas. Yeah second Christmas tree. Oh my god I've been canceled so hard if I started the L.A. Fires with a second Christmas tree Much is enough time. Oh my god. That'd be the end of it. She's got money for two Christmas trees

34:16The colored lights on a Christmas tree in a bedroom's got to be cozy though. That's gotta be good Oh my god. It's so good. It's so good And I love like the colorful lights like wrapped around the bookcase and stuff. Hi. I'm so excited for Christmas Okay, I'm so excited for Christmas Huh, it was the first catchy went to oh my god not so I was an adult. I never went to a concert I was so sheltered. I really was I think the first concert I went to I saw the killers in Las Vegas Adult is it oh my god. I was like Did you pay for the tickets? 19 or 20 maybe yeah, I paid for the tickets. Yeah. Yeah. I won't be a friend of mine And I want to say they were like opening a certain venue or so it was like the first concert at a venue But my friend Victoria and I were both really at the killers and so we saw the killers in Vegas and yeah I didn't go to a lot of concerts What was the social life like as a teenager? Have all my friends were in band All my friends were in band. Yeah, all my friends were in band and then like A lot of summers if I was grounded I wouldn't see any of my friends Cuz I would be grounded if I didn't get straight A's I was grounded all summer

35:20Yeah, that's a bit of a hard it. Yeah, one summer I got grounded and there wasn't much to take for me. So one I remember one summer He grounded me. He goes you can't not like you're not see your friends can't use the phone whatever What I'm gonna put all your books and storage for the summer for the summer man. You're dead. What I was a loser When you're getting grounded from your own books, that's you are not cool. All for straight A's Yeah, if I got if I got B's if you got it like what was all right? Let's say if you came back with all B Was it like that Bada Bowie like I saw it like was there circumstantial if it was a B in an AP class It was okay because that counted as an A it would like up your GPA Yeah, yeah, so that was okay, but if you got a B in a regular class not cool what AP classes were you? I was in AP European history. I was in AP English for sure and then I might have done like a Did I do like AP Kim? No, there's no way Three days to No, second

36:20I've had to do AP statistics, but I didn't pass the test that you got for college credit But like I got to be in the class. It was one of those things where it was like you're not gonna get the college credit but you will Get a fine grid the class was easy like she is first getting the great. Yeah, but it was I was so bad at math and science It was like not good at all, but like history you were good. I was a great. I was bad at it at math You were just a good student so you consider yourself bad. I think you can be a good student and get by in Subjects that you were bad at you know what I mean It worked really hard. Yeah, you can like know how to study and like take a test And I think I knew how to do those things But I was like if you asked me to do math and explain how I did it I'd be like I'm not sure and science. I was kind of like how do we need to know that you know, I just did you ever should you ever cheat on a test? No, cuz I was so scared. Yeah I was so scared to get in caught Your dad or by the way, who knows what he do that? I mean, I've well God's always watching so

37:23Number one summer you get grounded for the whole summer. You can't see your friends. Are you working? No, cuz I was like 12. It's like 12. Nobody just had that house. Hey, yeah. What are you doing all day? I could watch TV if I was on the treadmill What? What you ever say something and you think it's okay and then other people react to it and you go Am I was that bad you I can to begin like what I what we were saying about how organized and how you move was How to know where I think it was like you can watch TV if the whole family's watching TV And you asked for permission but you can't any other time and then also Like yeah, I think they probably just want me to wait But they were like they're like if you're on the treadmill you can watch TV, but that's it. Your father would drown me in a river I didn't early I don't know. I was an option. I would have done that years rough. That's crazy Yeah, yeah, so of course like you know as an adult. Yeah, now I'm always like I need to do everything perfectly and Going it. I mean look here's the thing. It didn't not work sure See that's the problem with that kind of stuff. It doesn't not work. I know the results are there

38:28Also could you go into the other way and you know totally and I maybe you should have it would have been more fun But you know there I remember I had a friend's parent tell me once which this was so inappropriate But I had a friend's parent tell me in like fifth or sixth grade like York parents are so strict you're gonna go crazy in college They're like you're gonna use my friends did that yeah, well and they were wrong But they were like you're gonna go absolutely nuts. They're like your your parents are not how are you when they said that to me I think I was yeah, I think I was like 11 or 12 real fucked up to say to a girl I'm raising that fuck though. Yeah, where did you went to college? I went to college. Yeah, I went to I went to Cal Poly in San Luis Bispo and then there was like which is great school But like there's nowhere to do stand-up out there You're just kind of like in a beach town and it's a great place to go to school if you want to be like an engineer Set on stand-up at that point I don't think I knew that I was set on stand-up until I went away to school And then I got there and I was like oh my god. There's nowhere to do stand-up. I I do really want to be doing stand-up

39:32So obviously before so stand-up happening in the background or whatever through 16 on What was obviously your dad there was a plan for college and career? What was that what was that no stand-up what was the plan? I was gonna be a teacher I'm gonna be a teacher And I wanted to like write like young adult novels My free time. Yeah, that's like what I wanted to do before stand-up Yeah, all right This episode of sponsor by better help gang if you wake wake up tomorrow and change one thing about yourself What would it be would it be a better athlete about that being better shape be a better partner a better friend Whatever it is better help can help you get in the right mind state to be a better person Better is a feeling defined by you and better help is here to help you talk through certain things in your life You can find a therapist who really gets you better help us focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's not about getting awesome and perfect tomorrow. It's about

40:34Progress for sure and you can help that progress at better help calm I know the big man has started his mental health journey. Yeah, that's right Kibbe I did start my mental health journey and I started at better help yes If you need talk therapy go to better help get yourself straight down Yes, you can sign up today and get 10% off at better help.com slash garbage. It's better help HLP dot com slash garbage today one more time better help dot com slash garbage Do it Kibbe like that. Where are you Parker? I love Warby Parker. I love Warby Parker. You know I wear glasses. You know I wear contact lenses now I can get them all right there at the same store best thing about where we Parker frames. Yes style You go to one of those other stores. You'll get an eighth grade math teacher in 1907 real bozo stuff go over to where we parker You're looking fresh little turtle shell, you know what I mean little rounds very nice Tell me right now. We love Warby Parker. Do yourself a favor to check them out. Yes They have really streamlined the process of buying cool glasses good glasses good looking styrofoam glasses and easier The entire experience from front to back Y'all now you can actually go into one of their stores you can get an eye exam right there

41:36There's no running around a multiple spots. They got to go here. I got to take the referral over get a paper Hey, there's in the receipt blah blah blah. There's no guessing if your prescription is up to date Everything is super clean modern and feels more like a wellness experience in your typical eye doctor visit You know what I mean? They're they're focused on the forward these old doctors are part of the past baby. It's a go into the 1970s They're in there smoking sigs in a break room. I can smell them not Warby Parker these other doctors. Of course that won't be mentioned Um, they got the style in color whether they're prescription or sunglasses when it comes to quality for the price Warby Parker is best you get IE's in one stop shop list and I exams glasses contact sunglasses You don't have to piece it together anymore and over 300 retail stores in the USA Daniel right now by one pair of glasses and get 20% off an additional pairs at Warby Parker dot com such garbage That's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at WAR BY Parker dot com such garbage Do it When you were 16 at your hometown were you you were doing spots

42:37Not really spots. It was more so like Things of the church it was like yeah, it was like churches and like schools and fundraisers and like Uh, you know Karen that woman from our church. She she did a lot of like public speaking Engagements like because she had been a teacher and I think she was retired and she was doing so she was like actually finding us like shows to do and like it was she's really Yeah, she's also you know the Christian comedy yeah like a Christian comedy circuit. I know I was in there for years Yeah, really huge. Yeah, and it was uh it was part of the reason I was like making money so young because you were like if you could do Christian comedy circuit You could make serious money doing that. Yeah, yeah, I was at 16 you were handling that at 16 you're making you know But like at 16 you can make like a couple hundred bucks from a bit which is not something you're making at an open mic. Yeah, exactly Uh, I would assume that you're all you've always been good with money correct. I think so I think so I mean, I yeah, like I don't necessarily I wouldn't say like oh, I could tell you how to invest every like I'm not good with money

43:40You're still you're not responsible. Yes, I'm responsible with money. Absolutely. See even that question is like shows like where her brains at Where you go like hey, you're not no one's ever answered the question like that really? Yeah, no one's ever said, hey, are you good with money? They go yeah, and you went well, I can't invest When it's like I Yeah, and I have people doing it sure. Yeah, I don't I couldn't give anyone else my mind But even your head went to the highest level of possibility of investment I can't invest but like we just meant did have you ever you know spent 15 grand on a wave runner? You shouldn't I told you I'm annoying like I'm so no I'm so no like when people are like do a hobby. I'm like well, I can't they're like do you read? I'm like not enough to say it's a hobby if you if you're reading it's a hobby you're reading four books a week And they're like that's not you don't have to lie I don't read four books a week. No, that's what I'm saying. So what are you doing your spare time? You're obviously a very dedicated of a very career driven oriented successful. What is like a you got four days off The road whatever what is it? What does some downtime look like? I mean, I like to read I like I like a I like comedy like a walk. I like a hike. I like

44:46I'm an AMC stubs remember I see most movies okay like that Yeah, so I think if I have four days off the thing is though if I do have like a full day off I might spend part of it like writing at a coffee shop because it's I love to try and write jokes when I don't have Anything like weighing on me. Yeah, so then I do kind of go like oh man, I can work with no No demands on it today like there's no deadline like to me working with no deadline is like luxurious I'm really hearing myself talking. I'm worried about me. Yeah, you're dialed in. Yeah, it's crazy. We're the same species It's nuts when you get emails about me you got forward them to me What is your father think when you were like I want to pursue stand-up? Um I grounded well, it's the thing is it was like at the time it was like doing Christian comedy So I think he thought it was pretty cool. I was yeah, part of the church like you know, so it is a lucrative You know, yeah, so I think it was I think it was maybe a little bit it was different when I was like swearing and stuff on stage

45:47But that was years later, so But I think initially. Yeah, thought it was thought it was pretty cool Yeah, do you guys ask the same questions on every episode? I mean, there's a good yeah, you guys have a rubric sure, like you know, we the are you garbage rubric? Whatever whatever the guests gives us whole, you know, Taylor to that little bit. It's gonna tell us big Yeah, there's some touch pones. Yeah, yeah, I can tell when you're like and that's Yeah, you could light up in a way This is a very unique case. Yeah, too. It's great. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean you're you've had you know of a different childhood than most comics for sure, you know And you know being the fact that you started so young and you've been in it for so long You know, it's been a chunk of your life at this and over half my life. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's successful. We get why it's yeah, that's nice Yeah, it is weird. Yeah, it is strange because yeah, I think What would you say most people start stand up at 22 20s probably yeah After college kind of you know a little bit

46:49I think is it is probably is probably for the most people. Yeah, so it was let you know late bloom or 30 32 30s 32 That's good. You've so much to talk about like you'd live so much life sure You're like I'll take it take a separate real quick. Uh your honor. Please A moment for my client. Uh, I never sat in a coffee shop or anything It's great on stage, huh? Do you write on stage? I didn't understand with that meant like do I have you written a joke? What do you What are you doing? Great line of question. Yeah, we're not in the sense That you would think of it. I would say Well, I think right on stage is probably what I mean then right right on stage is like do you just you try stuff out that you've thought of on stage I'm a huge fan of you, but you never like you never sit and you just kind of go up and you go like oh, I have a night I want to talk about the subject and I'll find it. Okay. Yeah, so that's writing on stage. Yeah I think I think Writing on stage been going out with a pen and a paper and then like having people watch you write stuff down

47:50Yeah, hey guys, thanks. You're paying the $40 tickets. I'm gonna write on stage. Why are they writing on stage is like the cool That's like the cool answer. You're the opposite of that. I just go up and I'm it. Yeah, no I think I need to go up with like some punchlines. I've thought of and then once those start working Then I can kind of like okay, let's let's follow these pets. That's already on stage like I don't write the punchlines I have the thoughts in my head No, I write the punchlines down and then I go on stage with those punchlines And I try out those punchlines and then I try to tag those punchlines from my head maybe but I don't I go up with stuff I wrote down. Yeah, yeah There's a more organized structured professional version of that. Yeah, which is the better. I don't know if it's better I'm whatever works for you. Yeah, it's whatever whatever whatever whatever you can figure out what works for you Was that's the the hardest thing to do but that makes everything easier. Yeah, see I've always thought it was like just less cool that I had to do that Yeah On that side really path of least resistance. Yeah Do you listen to all your sets?

48:51Yeah, I listen to a lot of them. No, I've every single one but I do listen to I listen to my sets. Yeah, do you record all your sets? Yeah, yeah, do you listen to them? Yeah, if I know if there's stuff that I know I like oh, I need to hear that again. Yeah, yeah, for sure I'm afraid it's homework. It's brutal. Yeah, it sucks It's so helpful every time you're like fuck I keep doing it. I heard a great quote the other day. It was by I think it was a quarterback coach or a football coach. He was like it's netted. No, it was the tape I know John met it was he's like what they were talking about watching game to game day I think it's never as bad as you think and it's never as good as you think and then never as good as you think is really good Yeah, you know like yeah listen to the ones that you thought were Amazing where you're like I don't even need to listen to that. I was whatever. It was so good. You listen like Maybe the month maybe maybe the mics weren't picking this out or something like you start going like. It's not as good as I thought It's so brutal. You're so right about that. Yeah, it's a good quote. Um, okay Huh, how do you wait? Oh, I just had a good one that I wanted to ask you well you said you're in the what is it the stub AMC stuff

49:56What is that specifically? It's like a monthly fee and you and you can see up to four movies a week It's crazy. You gotta make the reservation. You gotta make the reservation. You ever have movie passage or get on the I did and I was about to and then I think it started to tank in and I yeah, because it wasn't I don't know how that it was short lived Of course, because it was ridiculous. It was like you go to as many movies as you want and they were buying the tickets Yeah, it was didn't make any sense. No, it doesn't so this is like a better version of that Okay, but you can only see four in a week, but like most of times you're not gonna see four in a week It's sometimes you know you will go see four movies in a week I have when it's like you know if it's like Oscar season and you gotta catch up a week off. Yeah, yeah of course especially like when your voice is so tired from the road and like you want to catch up with people at home but it that's what I love a movie date I love a movie like friend hang movie solo. We do movie solo love movie solo like sometimes I go movies I'm like I don't even know if I wanted to see this or if I just wanted to drink a die coke in the dark. Yeah good that brings her next question

50:58What is what's the movie snacks? We sneak anything in of course. I'm always sneaking stuff in I'm sneaking my own popcorn in because what you get to stuff from a place that's cheaper and bring it in Yeah, that's cheaper and like healthier usually like what like a We go to get popcorn in the movie theater. It might be stale It's sometimes it's amazing and sometimes it just tastes weird sometimes there's like I again like to some tolerance Sometimes it's like a butter chemical, but then sometimes you're like that was fucking butter Yeah, you know you just don't know and so I like to like bring my own What's the brand you like I like lesser evil Like they got like coconut oil they got like butter flavored, but it's not butter. It's good Like that whole foods they got it staples Yeah, it's good or I do have an air popper at home. So I'll do that Yeah, in what vessel it's an air popper Oh you put it you put it in just like a you let it cool Black bags like a Ziploc bag where do you put that's it?

51:58That's garbage. It's very yeah, no, we're not done our line of questioning on the It is and it isn't it isn't it isn't right? I First of all it's in the garbage. It's it's a classier version of being a dirtbag for sure But she's yeah Are you assuming very organized as well? Yeah Generally or the popcorn? Hold on where do you wear the pants it's all my size? I go large just a smallest what I'll bring my own diet coke What We're going to place and now I bring it with me. I can't I will get I will I usually do can do a stroll I will do a straw if it's available to me, but not usually if I'm bringing it with me somewhere I know I'm supposed to where are you putting hold on hold on where are you putting the stuff to bag in a tote bag? So you have popcorn and soda and what do you think they're not checking to see you have okay? They're not taking the effort diet coke and homemade popcorn. No, also. They're not checking. Yeah, you know, they should be

52:59But they're not yeah, well, this is in that tote you got the popcorn you got the soda. That's it Popcorn in a ziplock bag Yeah, or is it in a Tupperware thing? It's in a ziplock bag. All right. I've never even thought to put it in a Tupperware I should figure you'd have it in the glass Tupperware container. Oh man. That would be better, huh? I have that too. I should do that big. I put it in a plastic bag. That's really gross. No, it's still please. Okay. It's fine. All right. Great. Yeah, it's Starpin' organized. Yeah. Yeah, and then like sometimes I'll do like a dark chocolate or What kind of brand do you like I like the oh god. What's it called? It's the is it is it? Each something the name is it H you? Oh, you yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that one. Okay, Claisee. She's got a couple of bucks I see you I like the dark chocolate sea salt. Yeah, the salty dark chocolate. Yeah, operator. Yeah, that's a touch of class right there very much of A lot of players popcorn aside touch of class. I can't say it's trashy. Obviously it's a responsible thing, but

54:03I get the snacks. I don't get the low-cal popcorn. That's crazy. I mean The diet coke and a can you don't like that Okay, a lot of times yeah, that's the thing that I will buy at the movies if I'm buying anything. It's that okay It's like a big Diet coke right with the ice yeah, yeah, I got you. I got yeah But if I can just bring one in a can from home that's cold already It's not gonna be cold. I also don't want that much diet coke. Oh, what's that crazy? You you drink that whole thing. Oh my god. I'll go get refills. I don't look acid reflux. You don't do it Welcome to my life welcome to the show next year. Every day. No, I need like I need like four Sips I need like four golpes of a diet coke and I'm good. That's why I like like the mini cans. That's crazy Any more than that. I'm like oh my god. I've got I'm not gonna be able to sleep. I got you Yeah, okay. I didn't know acid reflux could be stress-induced and when I found that out Dude, I've asked the best god. I don't know. I think I think maybe yes. I think your heartburn line

55:06I don't know. I thought heartburn was something else. I kind of is right acid reflux Acid reflux is like it's in her but I don't feel it come up, but I can feel it when My throat is like that's acid reflux. Right. Okay. I thought you could feel it though the bubbles Maybe it's like yeah, I think diet coke does that if I have too much caffeine. I think is what happened You see I would just drink through that Yeah, cuz I went to an auntie and they were like yes too much caffeine and I was oh And the bubbles too. Yeah, yeah, sometimes you gotta do it Twizzlers anything like that I mean Not usually I'll do like a I like like the the smart sweets you ever have the I've seen the man new guy lose all over your This is embarrassing you like them and I like that but my girl loves them. Yeah, see that and I knew you're gonna say that Yeah, that's yeah, even the packaging looks like something I would never do grams your sugar your rip me off Hey, good money for that you know like stevia

56:09No, they got some they got some new like cloud ones that are really good those are good New guy lucid he's a candy guy operating in both worlds. Yeah, if you're boyfriend You're boyfriend is a dick about your smart sweets kids to get the pillowy cloud ones Oh, it'll convert them right on board. Uh, I travel a lot obviously do you have a airline you like to fly I like delta Delta's number one. Yeah, I diamond. Yeah, I'm in middiana. I think so. Yeah, I think so but also now I will kind of just go with whatever is a direct like for a long time I was like delta no matter what and now I'm like you would do a layover to stay delta. No, I'm saying I used to you Now I'm like where's the direct? Yeah, we're just gonna get on that. I just I try to avoid united Yeah, who doesn't and why I feel like united is always like hey, we overbooked the flight by 80 people can anyone like Move here and we'll give you $10 like that's like it's like ever united flight. I've ever been on Yeah, taking that offer when they offer when I was younger

57:11I have when they were like do you want to stay at the Denver airport for nine hours and we'll give you a hundred dollars And I was like absolutely Yeah, I'm like Find out you don't get it for three weeks and then give card. Yeah, we were flying out And then you don't do it anymore. We were flying out of LA last week and they were somebody they were going to like I don't know can't coon or somewhere and they were like the guys like we're giving he's like cat like before even said the number He's like cash $800 a person we need cat is like the flights in eight hours or maybe it's come back It was the next day it was the next day and he's like kind of tugging and do you At the airport there was this couple the guy looked at his girl They were like I don't know if they're on their honeymoon or anniversary or what and he's like Can't pass out he's like 800 ahead. She's like don't you even think about him? Well, here's the thing is like how much was the hotel because that's of course you know what I mean? Because it's like you lost the night at the hotel You gotta go home you gotta get back to the whatever they gotta get back to the airport check in that thing So it sounds good but at the end of the day when the rubber hits the road. It's a tough one Yeah, I'm slightly scared to ask this. Oh, no, are you up front you're flying first class? Yeah

58:14Now I am now I am yeah, when did you start that? Oh, I don't know I'm gonna freak it wasn't a year ago. No, it was maybe I want to say like Maybe three years ago Right, what was COVID I think maybe 2022 So maybe four four four years. That's about the same time we do I mean we did it way too early We started doing it way too early, but once we did it. I can't go. I was like I can't go back I think it was the jerk like COVID really Freez me out and fucks me up and so I was like okay I'm gonna start paying for this because I'm gonna get sick less Bring food on the plane. I bring food. I never eat on the plane. But is it your healthy clean good food? Yeah, I know To the hoey no, no, I never but we took I took Chick-fil-A on the plane I brought like the grilled nuggets from Chick-fil-A on the plane That's not bad. It's not good. No, because it's smells. Yeah, I know and I felt bad But we had a really tight connection and I was like I'm sorry guys, but I also you know what I'll bring I'll say it I'll bring hard-boiled eggs on a plane But I didn't make them at home so they don't have you had the hard-boiled eggs from the airport

59:17They don't smell like anything because that's crazy. That's a crazy sense. They don't have you smelled them? Smell bags are so scary But have you actually had it because you open them. They don't smell I don't know what they're putting on their preservatives. Why is it can't be good? But it they don't smell the smells contained. I don't know how they do it So I will I will eat a hard-boiled egg on a plane and I make quick work of it for health purposes for health purposes Yes, yeah, I'm one of us have ever had a hard-boiled egg in that in that in that setting. Yeah, Jamie egg of Jamie egg Okay, all right. I see on a plane are you eating the in-flight meal? Uh, I stopped We're both on a weight-loss journey. I stopped I had it last week. I mean go ahead go in long-distance In the sky I'm close to the I mean it's would you ever I know I just don't trust I don't know we're so far What you're in the 30,000 feet up in a year. I agree. I don't know For some reason Delta throws out like three shrimp to you and you go, well, I know the shrimp you're talking about

1:00:17It's great. That's wild. It's like a shrimp cocktail. No Yeah, it's a food poisoning cocktail By the way on the topic sardial on the topic of the smells I'm sorry. You're in what are you two going on? You're in-flight meal smells so much worse than my hard-boiled egg. You know what we're talking about wrong But that's not but that's not me. They're cooking those meals rather whether I have it or not. Oh, I'm a Don't play the player playing the game on the cabin a hard-boiled egg. Yeah, is Yeah, and they know what you're doing. I know what I'm doing But everyone else is gonna eat the thing and I'm not gonna contribute to that cloud Yes, I think these And then other times you're like what the fuck is that? I've never had that Dave I've seen them be like you want the clam chowder. I'm like on this eight-hour flight No, also think about that if you're not eating and then so they just throw some they throw some shrimp shrimp down on the guy next to you You'd be like what the hell is this? I know I can't get mad about an egg when there's seafood out Yeah, also I'm not gonna gamble with my bowels on a cross-country flight like that

1:01:23Roll the dice room temperature shrimp. Let me baby. Let's go Man, huh, I think your shoes off on a plane never Do you take your shoes off on the plane Again cross-country that were the same species as you're coming for me for hard bull eggs And you take your shoes off on the plane. This is our show. Are you a fracking? You're like I never claim to be That's also a fun thing in the show we accuse people of being trashed at some point they go what about you? Yeah, but we are dirtpants in this situation We think the hard-boiled egg is trashy because just the way hard-boiled egg smell and just as dirt balls eating a hard-boiled egg for health reasons is foreign to us. Yeah, so we're taking that shot I mean eating anything out of a clear bag which I've I noticed I do that across the board everywhere the movie theater on the plane I'm eating everything out of a clear bag and that is pretty gross. No, there's a little bit of juice in there that freaks me out Yeah, it's got there's like a there's like an environment in there There's a quiet that there's a climate of its own in the in the bag. That's where the smell stays

1:02:28Why most gagged right there you put your seat back? I don't put my seat back either Respect it. No, not unless it's like The middle of the night. That's the only time I do it. I try not to Because I hate it when people put their seats back sure, so I try not to put my seat back I want to be the change you want to see in the world. You know you watch a movie on the plane Depends I like to Right, I like to work on the plane But I like to book like other flights on the plane like I really like it But yeah, I do a lot of admin you're booking your own flights Yeah, no one can do it like me. You're booking your own flight. I like to go on flights. I'm booking my own flight You're good. Well if I also I have like a whole team of people I will Stay ah, no, they're all great, but like I'll have a flight that gets delayed or something and I ob-text in my team like hey, I'm not gonna make my connection Can you guys look for other flights and they won't respond for three minutes and I'll go never mind I already did it like I already did it and it's you know, it's Hey, I've been doing this for your outlook a decade. You know what I mean like no one's gonna be

1:03:31I remember at one point my manager was like you should hire a Travel agent and I was like what travel agent is gonna be as fast as me. Yeah, I'm booking my openers flights a lot of times With mine. Yeah, it's like it's just faster if I do it and I've been doing it for so long. It's easy for me And you know what you like and what you like just why did clinch go not for me not for me. That's it. Yep Yep, and you know what website see us and it's just much better and all my stuff is saved. Oh, I got you When you can do the and the the frequent companion thing. It's like it's so easy So I like to do that on the plane. I'll read on the plane. I will watch movies on the plane I like to watch like a bad show or like a show I never would have watched on the plane. I started doing that. Yeah, what would you watch? I watched Tulsi King Which was that? It's pretty good. It's pretty bad and corny but good and I watched one of the Yellowstone offshoots that's exactly what you should be watching on the plane. Yep I watched which I consider this kind of a yellowstone offshoot because it's Taylor Sheridan who did all those right?

1:04:31when the No, not that one the one who's always aaldana. Oh Linus. Yes, which is not something I would ever watch and once I got back on the ground I was like I'm not super interested in this military show anymore But up in the sky for whatever reason give it an Emmy I open the air. I was like whoa this is riveting and then I got down there and I was like I don't think this is for me actually. It's a cardio Yes, I Yeah, that makes sense. I think I saw that in theaters That was crazy. It's all yeah, it feels it feels all the same. Yeah, once you once you see it You're like I can't unsee it. This feels like that guy. Yeah, yeah, it's for dads Okay, hey, it's a dad show. Hey, it's got the dad's stamp of approval. Hey, you know what? Dad's really like me for some reason dad's like like my comedy not like in a not like in a weird way I gotta be honest not a fan. Well you don't have to You're a new dad you'll come around when your kids a teen you're gonna be like you know I met it one time. I swear to god. No, I get like I get girls who are like 22 who are like my dad

1:05:33Introduced me to you and I'm like your dad like or maybe I'm just the thing that dads are like I can stomach this This comedy I'm gonna try to connect with my daughter about it I mean obviously your Sharp funny Good funny. I you know obviously it all transcends. So I think it's dads with like teenage daughters who are probably looking for ways to connect I really like your stuff. Yeah, I think that's it's a good dad's with teens. Mm-hmm. I mean listen We're running out of time here. I I gotta be honest with you. You really flipped it on me. I thought you were a Midwest Classy broad your California to mecula trash. Yeah, I'm being honest. Absolutely. That's what you're saying because of the eggs What makes her trash? I mean Organized sharp. I'm not listening the reason she's doing that stuff. I can say you're all class. I'm gonna blow up this podcast It's over after the sassy no way. I couldn't agree. It's garbage. Eggs don't a plane guy Hey, you're on a plane But my shoes are on in my seats up. She's making popcorn at home and taking it to the movie theater

1:06:37Yeah, that's but it's like good popcorn. Oh, you're you're compromised. Did she get to you? Look I this is Honestly, this is the best outcome I could have asked for she says everything. I'm not as far as like being I know, but you're you're you're you're cop you're focusing on the things that you don't do because you're in the middle of a personal crisis Sure, so I booked my first flight like three months ago really yeah, someone else has been doing a for you Yeah me I only reflow for comedy wow See and when I see other people who can trust someone else to book their stuff I mean there was no option it was either he didn't make the show He didn't make the show in Boston or you know, I booked it that's so yeah I know there are some people who like they'll be like, oh my managers book all my fights and I'm like that's crazy I'm like managers don't do that you just can't get it together like I think they were just like oh if we want them to go Do the show we have to book it like and I've just never even or the same way thoughts Do it all in house baby, but you know what I think this is like honestly a perfect assessment Because this is how I feel like when I'm dating I'm kind of like I think I'm either like a huge catch or like a huge red flag

1:07:42Depending on which which way I could argue both ways for real and not even on different points I'm like professional comedian whoa that's amazing also yikes Not sure about that. So like honestly, this feels very on brand for me. You at least walk in both worlds if somebody comes in your house and they're messy Is that an issue with you Like if they have dirt dirt on their shoes and sure Yeah, is that if someone tracks mud into your house what indicator is that I don't know I think I'm caught I think I'm like classy trash Yeah, I mean you're dead sure yeah, I listen. I think you're trashy. I'm not that that I don't know why we're painting it is like that's a horrible Grate of character. You're very smart driven hardworking talented all of that aside you're eating fucking eggs in first class There's no way around that. I can't do she's the low calorie fucking low sugar. I'm a plastic bag, but I'm in the wind Yes, bring her own diet coke. That's that's trashy dude. You're sneaking in a can of diet coke. I'm flying high

1:08:43I'm very mischievous. She's sneaking in a can of diet coke. What do we I wouldn't do anything like that? She's getting the big diet car by the movies here Is there anything you're gonna start doing because of this have I changed anything for you? No, no I did my best. Yeah I love you. Thank you so much. It was so fun. Thank you for having me you guys Actually never mind new book out Taylor Thomas and congratulations. Thank you so much We love you. Yeah, Kippy you got any form guys. We're all over the road The army of garbage tours on sale right now get them at r e garbage dot com. We love you. Taylor. What about you? You got anything? Yeah, I'm going on tour in February and those tickets are on my website TaylorThomas and comedy dot com or in the links and all my bios at Taylor Thompson on Instagram all that good stuff Well, that's got body. Love it. Congratulations on all your success. Thank you. Congratulations on the book Thank you so much. Yeah gang. We love you. See you next week. Peace Mr. President my company for me is the explosion on our rig along to per second causing massive water displacement and triggering the tsunami they all heat the blame on me. Tom Cruise is digger goddess into this mess

1:09:44And digger is gonna dig us out from the director of bird man and the revenant What would happen if I stop? You stole you freezing death that's what with great power Comes great to nigh ability. I'm not the first day digger see the train long on only a few years until per second rated R 1790 without parent