The Pattern Underneath The Manosphere (It's Not What You Think)

Howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fanfellas. I'm Hayden producer of the fantasy fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things sanderson and I'm steven your bookish internet goofball but you can call me the smash daddy and we are currently deep diving Brandon

Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn, but here's the catch Steven here has not read Mistborn before that's right. Hey, hey, so each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single

chip and along the way we'll do character deep dives magic explainers and Steven will even try to guess what's next spoiler alert. He'll be wrong news flash

I'm never wrong episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts

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Lots of people have been talking about the latest Louis through documentary and watching it

I recognized an underlying pattern not just in them, but one I'm familiar with here and that I see

Everywhere for years. I rejected my sensitivity and I pushed it into the shadow

But what I've come to realize is if you want to wake up you have to embrace every aspect of yourself

I grew up with a

Father who was an engineer

Who always had an immaculately mode lawn. He loved building stuff great at the IY always had a clean car

but who was emotionally avoidant

And so when I tried to connect with him on a vulnerable or sensitive

level it was

Very quickly clear at least how I perceived it that that was not somewhere that it was okay to go

So that was the model of masculinity that I had

And I rejected

The softer side and pushed it into the shadow

I had the other side because I could be a goby so and so and I was good at sport and could be outwardly confident

So that was fine and in relationships as long as I was on form in that way fine

But when my insecurity or desire to be vulnerable showed up

I

Unconsciously refused to feel it. I wanted to get rid of that part of me completely

And so I'd go up into my head and

That caused me

significant issues and it came to a head in 2015. I went and I did ayahuasca abroad and

During that ceremony, I had a very direct experience of

This sensitivity in shadow coming up in a terrifying way

That was so clearly linked to me being rejected by my father and therefore abandoned

By life at large and it was terrifying

And as I integrated that over time

What I realized was that what you

And what I resisted in myself

I absolutely projected out

and

Reacted to outside so men who had that same avoidant energy as my father

Triggered something in me and I would either not like them automatically or

Frequently I'd feel insecure and act up around them wouldn't know what to do with myself

but

As I turned towards my sensitivity towards my softness and I embraced it

And I balanced those two sides the hard and the soft yin and yang

I realized that's where true strength lies because we all have those both parts within us

and as I did that

This reaction to that energy just dissolved

And so watching the Louis through documentary

I

I'm not interested in judging the behavior. I'm really interested in the pattern underneath

Because if you growing up haven't had that reflection back that the sensitive side

that we all have

Is okay

Then we reject it in ourselves and we push it into shadow and what gets pushed into shadow

can absolutely be

Attacked outside us can be belittled. I don't like that anything that

And bodies that softness and it's not just people and documentaries like that. This is so common

I notice this with people I work with with high performers with people in position of power

This rejection of sensitivity and it's not that it's not in there

Someone who is like my father

If they went and had an experience like I did in 2015

I'm sure that softness would

rear its head

And that would be a challenge for them

But as I said

If we want to wake up we have to integrate and embrace every aspect of our experience starting with our inner experience

And so you can have Lamborghini's money

Success approval, but if you're if there's an internal split if there's an internal disquire

It's for nothing

Because there will always be that that sense that something's not quite right until we embrace the entirety of our inside

which can lead to

Awakening

Which can lead to true contentment peace fulfillment

We have to stop abandoning ourselves if we're going to wake up

To who we truly are

Howdy howdy ho and welcome to fantasy fanfellas. I'm Hayden producer of the fantasy

fangirls podcast and your resident lover of all things sanderson and i'm steven your bookish internet goofball

But you can call me the smash daddy and we are currently deep diving Brandon sanderson's fantasy epic

Missborn, but here's the catch

Stephen here has not read

Missborn before that's right hey hey so each week you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chip and along the way

We'll do character deep dives magic explainers and Stephen will even try to guess what's next spoiler alert

He'll be wrong news flash. I'm never wrong episodes come out every Wednesday and you can find fantasy fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts

Over 90 of the top 100 us accounting firms trust bill to simplify and secure bill pay that's proven financial

Infrastructure built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer