The Vulgar Speech Epidemic Needs Our Help!

0:00Welcome to the Carey Appet Show, your place for news, views and values you can trust, and relationship insights you need. Now here's Carey Appet. I feel like to be with you friends, welcome to the Carey Appet Show. I'm here to meet you to our listening community. Truly honored to have you tuning in and listening to what we cover on this show. We want to help you live in agreement with your divine design because we believe that God made you as an image bearer. The only part of creation with an essence link to God's image, we are His image bearers. He wants us to be like Him and I'll give you the answer to every good question on how to do that is to be like His Son. He said, if you've seen me, you've seen the Father. So those two were one and Jesus arrives, dies for our sins on the cross that we might

1:01have relationship with God Himself, God the Father. Then He leaves us the Holy Spirit who resides inside of us to help us become like who? Jesus, who is like who? The Father. Basically God, the Trinity, okay? And we do that in every aspect of our being, all five aspects, the physical, the intellectual, the emotional, social and spiritual. We'll combine with your male nature, if you're a man, your female nature, if you're a woman. And those are power, those are power and combustion in all those five areas to look and talk and think and act like God Himself. We will never be God. We don't need to be God. There's one God. But He made us to be like Him. One of the most powerful aspects of our being that we utilize every single day, those who have the ability is our speech. I've talked about speech a number of times. It's a powerful, powerful part of our design feature. Words do not just fill the air, my friend.

2:03They actually shape atmospheres. And you only have to raise an animal or train a dog or be around anybody else to realize when you open your mouth and you say words and the words have meanings and they have context and they have tone. You do something. You influence emotions. You impact people's spirits. And probably I'm going to guess more than you realize. So this is not going to be a finger-wagging talk with you today. In fact, I'm going to do a few shows on the power of speech. It's something the Lord had to deal with me from a very young age. I remember and I've shared this story, but I'll say it again. I remember when I was going through confirmation at the church I grew up in where we spent a year with our head pastor teaching us apologetics. I'd love to see every pastor do that in every church side note because not only did it create a relationship and a connection to me as a person outside of my family and my parents connected me to that church, but also I knew what I believed.

3:04And so I was able to step into ministry very early. And my youth pastor at the time said to me when I was 8th grade, he said, Carrie, you have a very fast, you have a very fast mind. And I kind of looked at him and he said, and you have a very fast mouth. And I think you need to learn more discernment. Now, he said it's so kind. Now these words themselves were life-changing for me. And I said, what does discernment mean? Which tells you something. And he said, go home and ask your mother. Now, I thought that was really interesting. My mom, one of the most positive people, maybe the most positive person, I never heard her speak negatively about anybody. And it wasn't that she didn't notice bad things or that she didn't highlight what needed to change in the world. It's just that she was very positive. So I went home, asked her and she said, go look it up in the dictionary. I thought, can someone just tell me? But she knew something about my design, which was I like to unearth truth. And then if I find it, I'm probably going to apply it just a little bit better, which is why many of us don't like to be told what to do. Many of us like to just figure it out ourselves, right?

4:06So I looked it up. And so as if you understand the word, it really means to pause and think before you speak to discern what's best and to not just say what you feel, but to actually do what is right for the moment. And of course, that is God's intent with speech. For us to bring power to a situation that aligns with His will, His word, His ways. Because if you are a disciple of Christ, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, if His spirit lives inside of you, you have the best helper on the planet to help you. Grab hold of that thought before it leaves your mouth like a bubble gum machine. And that is very necessary today. We're living in a culture where people are not using that skill. Many people who speak, whether it's with a microphone, a platform, and a podcast, TV, whatever it is, they don't use that skill. I'm guessing because they don't have the Holy Spirit saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, yes, what you're feeling is strong, but you do not want to say that because you will impact the situation negatively. You might feel that way about your daughter, but you can't say it that way, or you will

5:10harm her for life. You cannot let your feelings override what should come out of your mouth, my friend, because your mouth contains, for some reason, in God's kingdom. And in the world we live in, we are physical beings, and there is a spiritual reality to what we do, how we experience life. This is why it's so interesting to me when I see what's happening in the culture. I want to go back to your design in a minute, but I want to bring up a topic that's related to this. The words people are allowing, even over the internet, over federal communications, the swear words that people are using, what I would call a potty mouth, but it's worse than that, and swearing like a trucker, but it's worse than that. No offense to any of you truckers who listen to the show, you know what I'm talking to, right? I saw this article in the Christian post, when vulgarity becomes ordinary, what the F word

6:11says about us. Now I am just not happy to even have to bring this up, but I'm going to, because I want to help you recognize what I'm recognizing. I know you're feeling it, I know you're seeing it, but we need to talk about it. And this article from Mark Reach, he says, why does seemingly everybody have to be using the F word these days? And I'm not even happy about having to even say that. You hear it almost everywhere. It pours from television, movies, music, podcasts, social media, sporting events, workplaces, restaurants, and everyday conversations. People who had once had been embarrassed to say it in public now use it repeatedly, sometimes almost unconsciously. And then of course it's that word we're talking about. Side note, in movies, even if they're rated a certain way, and all of a sudden they start dropping words that I'm just not going to sit under. I'm not going to take it in. I have to be done with it, right? Because I know that it's going to impact my soul. It's not a matter of well, you're an adult. You should be able to handle it. The Holy Spirit is an adult. The Holy Spirit is older than you and I.

7:13I'll put together. And he will not be part of anything that is vulgar. And he tells us, no, no, no, no, stay, stay away, stay away, stay away. Oh, I can handle it. I'm a grown up. No, you can't handle it. It'll change your soul. And it will change your heart. And what comes out of your mouth is a tattletail on your heart. And that is why we have to protect what goes in. This article continues, it is my estimation, the fallest to most vulgar word in the English language is that word. Yet what was once considered almost unspeakable has become a conversational commonplace. How did this happen? And the reason I'm addressing part of what he wrote in the article is because something's changed in the culture that we need to address. Because once we see it happening in the culture, the people of God who are image bearers and then, you know, shore up our own activity and make sure that we are on our game when it comes to how we speak. Because it is so noticeable to people if you're in the public marketplace, if you're a man especially, if you don't swear.

8:13And that's one of the first giveaways. I wonder, is he Catholic? Is he Christian? Is he Mormon? You know, they just know there's some groups of men who contain their speech this way. He goes back to talk about some of the history of this. The word itself was quite old. Its precise origin is uncertain, though etymologists generally link it to the Germanic words associated with sexual intercourse or breeding. Despite popular legends, it did not originate as an acronym such as fornication under consent of the king. Okay, funny, funny. In centuries, however, the word remained a social taboo. And this is the point I want to make. Respectable writers and publishers and broadcasters and ordinary people generally avoided it. You might not know that Samuel Johnson omitted it from his name is dictionary. And from 1795 until 1965, that word did not even appear in a single English language dictionary. Hmm.

9:15That very restraint gave the word enormous rhetorical force. Profanity of this degree certainly has its shock value, but when such obscenity is repeated constantly, something curious happens. And eventually, it loses its ability to rattle us. So that word has undergone an extraordinary transformation in our time. Once primarily a crude term for sexual intercourse, it is now an all purpose expression. People use it when they're angry, when they're happy, when they're surprised, when they're frightened, when they're impressed, when they're disgusted or excited or frustrated, it can function as a verb or a noun or an insult or exclamation or intensifier or even a little more than a verbal filler. And for some people, it has almost become a punctuation mark. Now, I'm not saying you're talking like this. By the way, I can't even imagine. Those of you I know, I can't even imagine. But we're talking about the culture. I think we can all agree. If you even have just happened across a conversation or you're watching something in this slips

10:15out or you see something, and you know what I'm saying? And yes, even in politics, right? So this raises a more important question. What happens to a culture when vulgarity no longer embarrasses it? And yet there might be some Christian saying, well, the Bible doesn't specifically say you can't use these words, right? But that really misses the point. And of course, we know the Bible does not provide a catalog of the forbidden English words or other languages. But it does address the character of our speech as a reminder, the Apostle Paul wrote, that no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. But only that, which is good for the use of edifying. That's in Ephesians 429. And he warned against filthiness or foolish talking or gesting, which are not convenient. So in Ephesians 5, 4, he told the Colossians to put away anger and wrath and malice and blasphemy. Filthy communication out of your mouth, Colossians 3, 8. He mentions a story in here of the late Phil Robertson.

11:17Remember him, the founder of Duck Commander and patriarch of the television show Duck Dynastie, we just had his daughter-in-law on recently. He talked about a sound man on the film crew who listened to the Robertson family for long stretches while they were being micred, right, for the show. Eventually, the man approached him. And he said, he noticed something unusual. He never heard them curse. You might say swear. And he wanted to know why. Why don't you swear? Isn't that fascinating? But it's very telling. Of course, the question opened the door for Robertson to talk with him about Christ, and according to your Robertson, the man was eventually converted. And it's interesting to ponder that story. And a culture saturated profanity, sometimes what a Christian restraints himself from saying can speak loudly. But even here, Christianity goes beyond cleaning up your vocabulary. Jesus said, a good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good. And an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth what is evil.

12:20Or out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks. It's in Luke 6.45. So our words are not disconnected from a heart. And this article goes on to talk about other things. I wanted to bring up the vulgarity of the speech because I'm just tired of it. And I can see how it has changed. It used to be men who did all the swearing. We have women who are doing all the swearing. And that's impacting their spirit, their body, their soul, because the words that come out of your mouth actually create an atmosphere around you. There is no question. This is not doo-doo-doo. Oh, this sounds so weird. Again, your speech is not an ornament. It's not like an accessory to you. It is one of the most powerful ways you impact the world. And you, it's one of the most powerful ways you impact you. Because if your speech about yourself, the tape that you play in your heart and it comes

13:22out of your mouth, oh, I'm so dumb. Oh, I shouldn't have done. That's just not good. It is going to impact you and how you move forward in life. And God, I just sense this very strongly for the times we're living in. God wants us to align our speech with what He thinks about us, what He thinks about the situation, how He wants us to use the skill He gave us, the Holy Spirit that resides in us, the wisdom from His Word to assess every situation and to not speak until we know what comes out of our mouth will be useful. Now is that difficult? And anybody else raised their hand? Absolutely. I think this is one of the most difficult things to do as a believer. I think this is one of the greatest challenge for a Christian, a believer in Jesus Christ to grab hold of His thoughts and her thoughts before they escape your lips and assess.

14:29And if you can do that, if God can trust your mouth, He will give you opportunity after opportunity, after opportunity and assignments to be able to speak into someone's life and literally change their life. I was at a party for one of our many grandchildren this weekend and was talking to a young couple who've adopted kids and she said, I don't know if you remember, but I heard you speak. Now I hear it. That's a lining here a lot. And you would think I would grow weary of it. I don't because for me it's like a gold piece of gold. Do you hear something that came out of my mouth that helped you? I'm just thrilled. I don't say that. That's what I'm thinking. I said, I don't know if you remember what we're at a treat that you spoke at many years. I got a North Shore Baptist and of course the name of the church has changed, but it was a retreat for high school. There's an, oh, I do remember it. I weirdly, I remember all the speaking engagements and there have been hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. And she said, you said some things that just impacted me so much and we talked for a bit and I'm not going to, this is not to break.

15:31This is to tell you that I've learned and it started when I was young that if God could trust my mouth, if I could contain all my thoughts and only use what was youthful and especially in preparation, you want to align your thoughts with God's thoughts. You use speech that really agrees with scripture and of course if you're teaching it should be full of scripture. That's where the power is because not only is there life in depth in the tongue, but there's life that comes from using the Word of God as you will know. Friend that is what I want for you and your family. That is what I want for you in your life. That's what I want for you in your marriage. And I know that this is what the culture needs to from every single believer because the culture is messed up. It's vulgar. It's undignified now. It's not a safe place for people to communicate and we need to take it back in the sense that we need to help saturate it with truth. Listen, I see I need to take a quick break. I'll go ahead and do that.

16:31We'll be right back. Do you believe your influence can make a difference? Every day women of all ages are bringing wisdom, creativity, faith and courage into their homes, workplaces, churches and communities and that influence is needed now more than ever. The influential women's forum is a national association of godly women committed to amplifying what is good, uniting like-minded women on issues that matter and strengthening each woman's god-given influence in every area of society. As an IWF member, you'll connect with faith-filled women, gain access to exclusive online and in-person events and discover meaningful opportunities to share valuable ideas and resources. It's time to push back against the negative and dark influences in our culture by shining a brighter light together. Visit influentialwomen'sforum.com to see the insights and encouragement your soul needs

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18:36Or call 425-354-8517. And now back to the carry-out show. I'm talking about your speech today and my speech and all of our words that come out of our mouth, what they do to us, what they do to others. And this is a beautiful, powerful picture of God's nature and character that he actually placed in us as a design feature. That is why scripture is replete with verses about speech. And I won't just list them for you. I want to give you some context. This will not be the last time I talk about this. I mentioned in the first segment how important it is that we look at what the culture is doing with one word in particular, but many, many words and it's degrading and it degrades the human soul. And we need that to stop because God does not see us that way. He does not see your pre-Christian friend that way who thinks of himself so lowly that

19:37he is willing to use words that are awful around him and his family as beneath their dignity and their design. And we need to help elevate the conversation. This does not mean that every word is polyena, that everything we say is only the positive that we don't point out was going in on life or that we got stuck in traffic or that we hurt. That's not what I'm talking about. You can bring your speech to every situation and talk about those things without violating somebody without hurting yourself. And indeed you can bring a remedy, a hopeful remedy with your speech. I know you know people in your life who have said things to you that have harmed you. You can never forget, at least you're trying, but you so hard to forget those words that stuck like a knife that harmed you as a child or what an expo said to you over and over and over again that you just can't get past. That is why God said, please don't open your mouth because if you or don't open your

20:40mouth with ill intent because you're going to harm someone, that's the power of our speech. I don't have to prove it to you, friend, because you've experienced it in both ways when someone has said something lovely to you, something inspiring to you. The coach, you said, I know you can do it. And you believed them. The parent that stood by you unconditionally saying, no, you are enough. You can do it. Words have power. And again, they don't just fill the air, right? In a world full of criticism, sarcasm, negativity, God is called us to speak differently, brother and sister in Christ. Oh, and I just want to remind you some of that. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruit. That's in Proverbs 1821. Is it metaphorical? Literally words carry the power to build up or destroy. And speaking death or gossip or slander or criticism not only wounds the spirit, it opens doors to despair and fear and even division in the church. If you're doing it privately and you're doing it with another person or you're doing it,

21:44just somebody you think is safe and you're not actually saying it to someone else, it's still impacting you, isn't it? Because you have a model. You're supposed to go to somebody if you have an issue with them. You're not supposed to slander and criticize. And that's a challenging thing for Christians to do. Jesus modeled speaking life. He says the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life in John 663. He didn't just speak the truth. He spoke life. His words literally healed the sick. He calmed the storms. I love that story, by the way. He restored dignity to the broken. As a follower, friends, we're supposed to do the same thing. Your words can bring someone back from the brink of quitting or they can push someone over the edge. We have a lot of young men and women who are using their words and writing their words and texting and saying things online to harm each other, literally causing some kids to take their life.

22:46That's how powerful it is. Your words can heal or hurt. Gracious words are like a honeycomb sweetness to the soul and health to the body. That's probably for 1624. Encouragement isn't something fluffy. By the way, to encourage someone is to inspire courage, but it's literally spiritual medicine. Words of grace, sooth, anxiety, they dissolve bitterness and they bring healing to the soul. A word in a season that is needed can be the turning point in someone's walk with God. As you well know, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as good as for building up that it may give grace to those who hear that's Ephesians 429. Speaking life aligns with the Spirit of God. Spirit led believers speaks words of life. Here's Galatians 525. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

23:46So this doesn't mean that you never speak truth or correction. It means you do it with love. You speak with grace and the goal is always restoration. So speaking life isn't about sugar coating things. It's about speaking with spiritual sensitivity. Do you know someone that has said something to you in a loving way that was a hard truth? Are you the one who just can't take any criticism because you grew up with so much criticism that triggers you every time? This is my friend. I do believe in this. I can tell you how to hold a different plan for the show today. I just almost felt this compulsion to say we need to protect our speech because we need to protect other people made in the image of God who are hurting. And when I look at people who are vulgar in their speech, I don't despise them. I feel sorry for them because I know how this works. Their heart is coming out of their mouth and the words are the giveaway that the tattletail

24:48on their heart condition. How sad is that? And I know sometimes swearing and cursing can be just a bad habit. But you know, it's interesting because in scripture, the men and women who got closer to the Lord and who fell on their face before God's holiness, the first thing they recognized was, oh my goodness, I'm a man of unclean lips. Do if you get close to holiness, we'll start speaking differently. Otherwise I'm going to challenge you as a sister to say, what are you reading? What are you studying and why isn't it changing your speech? Because that seems to be God's practice. And the reason it's his practice is because he knows how he made you, how powerful your words are. He's going to help you contain your speech. I would love for every pastor truly to speak on this issue. And just to say, friends, we all have to watch what we say. And I understand why many don't because they probably, their people might think, well,

25:49you know, you just don't want to say bad things about you. Who knows what their motivation would be that they would sign to the pastor? But pastors take a lot of speech that's really hard. A lot of the behind the scenes speech is really negative. And I know that to be true. So I'm encouraging you, align yourself with the spirit of God. What you say is also, in a sense, prophetic. The Lord God said to me, this is from Ezekiel, prophesy over these bones and say to them, oh, dry bones, hear the word of the Lord. Okay. How is it possible that a person could do that? Yes, I know it's this vast story that we think this could never happen in my life. But that's actually not true. God wants us to see Ezekiel's vision as a powerful example of life being released through words. And really in the same way, your decorations of God's promises over your family and your children or your church can change the spiritual atmosphere. Speak faith, not fear, right?

26:50To clear promise, not panic, in a sense. Don't repeat everything the enemy is trying to get you to say to someone else. We've become repeaters of bad news because of the news that we watch. And I fall into the same category of having to share with you things and then trying to transition it to, we need to pray. We need to say we need to do because I don't want to be stuck in that repetition. Listen, I look at the clock and realize I've run out of time with my speech. This will not be the last time I talked to you about this. I believe that God is going to continue to remind us the power in our words. And God bless you, friend. God loves you. We'll see you next time. You've been listening to the Carriabit Show. If you'd like to listen again to today's episode or share it with a friend, simply go to thelegacyinstitute.com. And remember, the Carriabit Show is made possible by donations from friends like you. And of course, our text is deductible. If you'd like to donate today, go to thelegacyinstitute.com.

27:53Or call 425-354-8517. That's thelegacyinstitute.com.