Trump Bribes Americans with $5K "Dividends" & GOP Gets Weird at Midterm Convention | Andrew Garfield

0:00You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, in America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kustin. Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michael Kustin. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Republicans had the Texas for a midweek pep rally. England finds new ways to scare children. And Trump wants to bribe taxpayers with money from the taxpayers. So generous. Also, later in the show, actor Andrew Garfield will be here. Oh my god. But first, let's check it on the midterms and ongoing coverage of indecision 2026, The Middesee.

1:09I've heard the words epic. I've heard historic. That's what it is. We're less than two months away from the midterms, which means you've got just under 60 days to find out who your representative is and what Congress does. Republicans are laser focused on keeping their majority in Congress. How's it looking? Democrats are leading in most of this November's Keyes U.S. Senate races. The likelihood that Democrats actually flip the House is approaching 70%. Republicans are facing many challenges, including high gas prices, and the president's growing unpopularity, with 64% in a new NBC news poll, saying they disapprove of his job performance. Americans are so unforgiving. You lose one war. You blow up one economy. You give people one explosive diarrhea. Get over it. At this point, the only people Trump is pulling well with

2:10is the company that makes the number five that goes on gas station price boards. Business is through the roof. But seriously, these polls are bad. Bad news for the GOP, which is probably why they're trying something new this year. They're first ever midterm convention in the country's most exciting city, Dallas. The stakes are high. So Republicans need to go big. Hello, Dallas. Sir, that's not what they meant when they said Trump loves giant knockers. Fun fact, that's a normal-sized gavel. He's just a very small man. All jokes aside. Fellows, remember, it's not the size of the gavel that matters. It's the size of your penis.

3:12Once they got the comically-large gavel out of the way, they brought out Senator Tim Scott, who wanted to make his stage-time count. Hello, Dallas. This midterm, we face the most dangerous radical and frankly, weird Democrat candidates in American history. Here in Texas, you got James Talleriko. The Democrats, extreme candidates, won't rip that heart out of our chest. They hate our culture. They hate what it means to be American. Hear me, Dallas. Not on our watch. We're talking about Jesus. Does this guy have range or what? He can do preacher on cocaine. He can do wrestler on cocaine.

4:13He can do stand-up comedian who's on his normal amount of cocaine. This is a level of energy that can only be described as my six-year-old two minutes before bedtime every single night. Honey, go to bed. The Lord does not want me to sleep tonight. Jesus! And now let's keep this high-octane party going with the always-electric Texas Senate candidate Ken Paxton. You're battling for your life, Ken. It's one of the biggest races in the country. You show America what you've got. I will fight to preserve the American dream. James Talleriko is running to destroy it. He is a Democratic Socialist who never met a tax increase. He didn't love. California already has two senators. It doesn't need a third.

5:13Said God is non-binary. I must have missed that verse in the Bible. Oh! Oh, no, he didn't make anyone laugh. Guys, awful. Are they really running this charisma, black hole, and one of the most important Senate races in the country? President Trump, you endorse this guy. So you have to sell us on him. He may not dress right. He may not talk exactly perfectly. And he may not be the best-looking guy I've ever seen. Sold! Jesus. Don't let Donald Trump be your wingman. Hey, my broke, dickless friend across the bottom. He thinks you're cute. Also, he smells bad. You want to go home with him? But you know what? Trump doesn't need Ken Paxton to keep the House in the Senate. He has a secret weapon, and it's called a bribe.

6:13Because we've done so well, and because our country is making so much money, if the Republicans win the House of Representatives and the United States Senate, I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000. Holy shit, $5,000. $5,000. That's two trips to the grocery store. Or one, if you buy raspberries. I like how Trump calls this a dividend. Do you know when businesses hand out dividends when they're raking in money? The last time I checked, we, as a country, have negative $40 trillion of money. America should not be handing out dividends. We should be faking our own death and starting a new life in Thailand. But look, you do have to acknowledge the political appeal of a promise like this. I mean, we can all think of something we'd love to do with $5,000.

7:14Me personally, I would donate it to abandoned children. I feel bad about abandoning them, so that's the least that I could do. So I don't know how well this will go over with Democrats or deficit hawks, but I'm sure Trump supporters are ecstatic. $5,000 promises to all Americans if the Republicans keep the House and send it. Not bad. I'm not sure that's okay, but I think it's kind of fun. Yeah. And you know what? That's what being president's all about having fun. Even Brian Kilmeade didn't know what to make of this. I'm not sure that's okay, but I think it sounds kind of fun. He sounds like Trump just asked me to throw rocks off the overpass. But unlike Kilmeade, I'm not conflicted at all. I'm excited to get this money. And Trump said we're going to, so it's definitely gonna happen. As we had similar offers before that went nowhere, a $2,000 tariff rebate check and the $5,000 doge dividend,

8:16neither of those ended up happening. Okay. Okay, but you know how sometimes you live on Maple Street, but your mail goes to Maple Drive? Well, maybe that just happened to every single person in America. So yes, this is just the latest in a cycle of Trump's behavior with the American people. He promises a huge payout that never happens. And then he promises an even bigger payout, and then that never happens. And this spiral is exhausting, poisonous, and it makes you question the very health of our democracy. And look, I'm not sure that's okay, but it is kind of fun. All right, so more on the Republican midterm convention, let's go live to the convention floor with Desi Lighting. Cheers. Yes, please. Desi, what's the feeling down there? Oh, people are excited, Michael. All day, I heard things like, wow, $5,000.

9:16And I'm so pumped for $5,000. $7,000. What's Tim Scott on cocaine? Come on, that $5,000 is clearly a transparent bribe. I know. Isn't it sweet? Why sweet? Because bribes are Trump's love language. It's his way of showing us city cares. Because the bribes are not a love language. Well, not for you. You're probably into words of affirmation or hand stuff. But the president is into bribes and hand stuff. The guitarist showed their love by bribing him with a jet. Fiefa loved bribed him with that trophy, and that's what he's trying to share with us. He's just a boy standing in front of a voter, offering them $5,000. Let him in, Michael. I will not. Regardless, we all know he's not going to do this. It would cost America $1.3 trillion. Oh, of course he's not going to do it.

10:18And do you know what that means? It means Donald Trump just saved us $1.3 trillion. Oh, God. Oh. What a president, Chichang. That's not how math works. Well, that's because it's not math, math. It's Trump math, which is his version of girl math. You know how when you return a pair of shoes that don't fit, that's free money you can spend on new AirPods. No. Exactly. With Trump math, he puts a $30 billion tariff on China, then cancels it at the last minute, and that gets America $30 billion new dollars. That's money we can spend on desperately needed health care, or even better in arch. We've always wanted an arch, Chichang. Stop saying Chichang. You got it. Chichang. I'm not following this at all. Even if he did have all this money coming in, why can't he pay down the deficit,

11:18or give us universal childcare? We don't need childcare. The kids can hang out under the arch. Besides, childcare would cost like $35 billion. We can't afford that. Yeah, I guess we can. Which means Trump just saved another $35 billion. No, no, no, no, no. There's a disissol, irresponsible, and an insult to our democracy. It's a desparatory by a desparate president who's out of solutions and just throwing $5,000 against the wall. What if he also threw in hand stuff? Chichang, I'm in. Desi, why did everybody, for Rupert and Matt, we feel better by making fun of other countries. Thank you. The American Daily Show. The funny part is that it says in the Bible,

12:20America is not the only country in the world. So, for a look at what's going on in other countries, we go to our senior correspondent, Troy Awada, in another edition of So, Not Our Problem. Once again, the world is talking shit about America, fluently in three to five languages. But guess what? We're not the only ones with problems. Yeah, people say America is crude and ignorant, but we're not the only ones just look at the UK, which is England and its three weird friends saving on rent by splitting an island. Where they too can be pretty insensitive. And we're not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are not the only ones who are dont know the language. Together, there's an important timeframe for any of these countries to meet. Looking back, this term was born by loi Tao .. One of many people was intelligent in 2003, but we apparently didn't make a choice.

13:21Our greatest number of victims ever since went on a phone ever since they were hit on a phone ever since So, number, news everywhere... Look, the UK, I too love a theme, but maybe real life boat where half the kids on it died is a weird theme. And it's not very autumn. And this is how British kids are learning about the Titanic, they should have to learn about it like I did, and an all-boy sleepover where a kid named Kyle Googles Kate Winslet boobs scene while I read goosebumps in the corner. But hey, I'm glad someone was finally brave enough to admit that this must have been really fun. Wee! We'll never forget. And no surprise, there was some pushback on the UK social media, which I'm assuming is just Facebook with a U. But the owner of the farm didn't agree. So when you hear about people say, listen, this was one of the biggest tragedies, dozens of children died.

14:22What is your response to that? Well, my response would be that we're not taking to making the fun of the dead at all. We're not insensitive at all. It's actually very much a sort of in-memory of Titanic. See, they're just respectfully remembering history. Same thing with their other ride, the Irish potato famine bumper boats. And, you know, sure, maybe our kids' test scores are sinking at a disturbing rate, but at least they're not learning history from a whimsical playground death slide. Sorry, the UK, that is so not a problem. And now we turn to Italy, Europe's slutty, thigh-high leather boot, where one man fakes it and he makes it. An Italian man who claimed to discover an ancient Greek amphitheater in 2014 has been jailed for fraud. Oscar said, Franco Moloso hired a construction crew to build the amphitheater and told them, quote, make it look old.

15:23Then started charging tour groups nearly $700 to visit the site. The scam went on for two years. Italy, that guy scammed you for two years? Maybe we rethink wine at every meal, babe. I mean, it was pretty obvious this place was fake because it was the only ancient Greek amphitheater with a Miller-Lite sky box. But whatever, Italy, leave this guy alone. Your country's all about making up shit. Oh, sure, the old single guy at the Vatican who wears beautiful robes and lives in a gorgeous gold building doesn't have sex with women because God told him not to. Cool story, bro. And sure, America isn't flush with ancient landmarks. Our most popular attraction is a bucky's where someone saw an image of Jesus in the jerky wall. But getting scammed by some pattington bear villain? Sorry, Italy, but that is so not a problem. And now let's move on to Austria, the birthplace of my favorite terminator

16:24and my least favorite. Thank you, I'm brave. Roll it! An infamous address is being given a new function. The birthplace of Adolf Hitler in the Austrian town of Brannau is being turned into a police station. Austria's government sees the property from its then owner in 2016. Authorities want to make sure this structure doesn't become a pilgrimage site for right-wing extremists. Wait, Austria, you turned Hitler's birthplace into a police station to prevent right-wing extremists from visiting? If you really wanted to deter them, you turned it into somewhere they'll never want to go, like a library or a place where women feel safe. And yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe this police station will not attract Hitler fans, but it will attract time travelers going, well, damn, we set the machine too late to kill baby Hitler.

17:25All right. Any other babies we should kill or restaurant recommendations? Anyway, Austria, good luck containing the rapid rise of right-wing extremism within your own borders. Sorry, but that is actually that might be our problem. OK. 1, 2, 1. We'll come back, Andrew Garfield will be here. Don't go back. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE APPLAUSE Welcome back to Daily Show. My guest tonight is a Tony award-winning an Oscar-nominated actor who stars in the new film, The Uprising. Please welcome Andrew Garcia! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

18:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Unbelievable, buddy. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Hey, hey, hey. This is nice to be here with everybody. How are you doing? Hell yeah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Ah! I mean... APPLAUSE I hate to tell them that that is the whole movie. LAUGHTER That's what he's talking about. You almost didn't even get here. You were on a... You had a plane situation. What happened? We were downed in... That sounds remarkable. That sounds... That's what matters. Yes. You're okay. That was no like shots fired or anything like that. Right, right. There was like a smell of smoke on the aircraft and we were brought down in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which I would highly recommend to have... So you had to... You spent some time there. A whole day in Albuquerque. Okay. Airport. Not the whole day. It was... We realised that, you know, with these things... You get told one thing and then they apologise and say

19:29it's actually going to be 18 hours later than what was going to happen. It's with all experience. It's not like the king in this movie. Thank you for bringing it back, too. What were you talking about here? You're in Albuquerque. Yeah, and it was... You know, have you ever had a huge delay where you feel so bonded to the people that you're all Tom Hanks in the terminal kind of thing? And you're all just like getting to know each other in a deeper way than you even know your own family. Wow. There was something really sweet and kind of bonding, like instant, strange community of suffering in Albuquerque. Airport. But to the point where we... I was travelling with someone I work with and we had enough time to go bowling. We had enough time to leave through security and do four games of four rounds of bowling. Where we were like betting because she actually started beating me and I was like, you know, she's my assistant. She's a really, really sweet, wonderful person. And I was like, if you beat me, I will pay out.

20:30But if I beat you... And she owes me like $120. That's gonna say, I mean... I would think an assistant should be losing... Just like bowling. On purpose losing. I don't go bowling with my assistant, but I don't have an assistant. How's your bowling game, Sal? It's, you know, I was... I ranged between a 90 and a 120. Yeah, I think that was... It's like very, very in the middle. My high is a 1-11, which is kind of embarrassing, but... Anyways. Let's talk about this film, which I don't even think bowling had been invented yet. When this film took place in the late 1300s. Yeah, these guys didn't have much time, leisure time. Yeah. There was... There were being taxed. Yeah, so it's a... It's set during the peasant's uprising, which was a true historical event. In 1381, in the UK, it was the first major kind of popular uprising. And it was a time where there was a small group of oligarchs

21:34who were hoarding all of the wealth and all of the resources. 1381, 1381 in a country f***. Don't worry, this could never happen here. And a kind of general population whose souls were being squeezed to the point where they were felt like they were being treated like animals. Like vermin. Like completely worthless. Like stripped of dignity to the point where, as you saw in that clip, it was, you know, the person I play is representative of thousands upon thousands of people who... It's post-the-plague, so 50% of the Europe have been wiped out by an epidemic. Again, 1381. Nothing could ever possibly happen, of course. Safe, guys. Everything's fine. The peasants can't afford the newest iPhone. How familiar were you with the story ahead of time?

22:36We learn about it in school, England. We learn about it through the perspective of the people who write history, which are not the common folk, which are the oligarchs, who say, weren't we great and how we raped and pillaged everyone? It was a really incredible story to be told through ordinary people who band together to come fight for very, very basic human rights. Yeah. And it's a really powerful... It does feel like a very, very powerful story. It's excellent. It's very powerful. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. It definitely resonates today, which is interesting. Scary. It's kind of frightening that it resonates. Yeah. So deep. When I read it, I felt like, I think it's very hard right now. I'm sure you feel the same way. How do we keep up with the uncertainty and the forever changing nature of our world? And how do we, as creative people, artists kind of speak to the current issues that we're facing?

23:40And when I read this, it felt like a bit of a cry of the soul. This feels like the closest thing I've read to feeling like it's a very long, long-distance mirror of where we are now and how out of joint the world is and how difficult it is to say how out of joint it is. And then what do we do about it? I wake up every morning and I'm like, has anyone been held accountable for corruption or abuse of power? No, the day, day 1,569 of that not happening. I guess that's just normal now. The little bit of corruption that accrues over time is, or a lot of corruption, is just kind of weirdly accept. I feel like I'm going mad. Yeah. I feel like we're all going mad. It's true. I mean, I'm going mad. APPLAUSE It's true. APPLAUSE I never know if I should feel comforted that history has done this before. Yeah. Or if I should just be more angry that we keep doing it. Should we do both? Should we do both of those things? I feel like anger.

24:41I feel like anger right now is kind of one of the only, like, heartbreak and anger is the only logical response that we can have. And I do feel reassured and hopeful because it's a cycle. Like, the idea that the world, I don't think that AI, robots are going to kill us. Maybe some of us, but like, not all of us, you know, if we can get on the submarine with Zuckerberg, we'll be fine. But like, no, no, but I do feel like there's this kind of, yeah, we look through our histories. It's a cycle and we do seem like we're at the part of the, we're living through an interesting part of the cycle where the world has no centre. Right. Everything is falling apart, so it does require individuals, namely us. To find our own centres in the middle of a centreless world and bring that centre to the centre of the culture and start planting seeds for the new world that will be built when this shit show is over. Yes. And that's great.

25:42And historically, that is how each one of these things changes. Was people become aware? They understand the past and then they plant these new seeds. This character, the plowman, is very empathetic. I mean, he's trying to do the right thing. He's dealing with grief and sadness. But you also just finished playing Sam Altman in a new film. That's an interesting one. With a world with me. I liked him in the beginning of this interview. Most of your characters have this empathetic character that I love and respond to. It makes me think you must be a good person deep down. I don't really know you. But what was it like playing Sam Altman? That doesn't, he doesn't feel like that type of character. Hey, man. Hey, man. Listen, man, we're all in need of some soul work. We're all in need of community. We're all in need of healing. We're all wounded.

26:42And we're all like all of us in unconscious ways, probably enacting that woundedness on other people that we are not aware of. And I don't think any of us are any exceptions. And that's why I think I love being an actor is because it is an empathy machine. You get to try and close the gap between you and anyone in the human race. And I find that very, very interesting. But yeah, I mean, too, if we're looking at the plowman and we're looking at Sam Altman, we're looking at kind of one of the most powerful people in our current culture. Maybe top 10, like winning at the game of capitalism versus someone who's arguably losing at that particular game. But then if you see our movie, you might be surprised about who is most free. There's something about where the plowman gets to that he sheds any kind of imprisonment to a world that is not for him, is not for his soul, is not for any decency in his life.

27:52And I would argue that our culture is kind of not serving anybody right now, but particularly the people on top. I feel like there's a terror. And I go, what do we need to hoard so much? There's a fear in that. You're right. And it seems like, why are they so miserable? Right. They've won. They've got it all. So it's like, it should be happy. There's a great scene in uprising when your character comes into the castle or the kingdom and just picks up the pen. The feathered pen, and it's almost like he's astonished at the wealth that is just in the rooms. And it was very powerful. And your characters, it feels like you take them with you as a person. That can be exhausting, no? I also think of the social network when you played another tech movie. Yeah. What have you... What have you learned from tech by being in these films?

28:55If anything, I realize films aren't real life. No, well... Yeah, yes and no, I... But I don't... I mean, I'm just very... Healthily afraid. I did the social network and I immediately got off of Facebook when I started shooting that. Oh, that's a story. And I did this film artificial about OpenAI and I immediately deleted my chat GPT. And I don't really know why. I think it feels... It feels like a kind of... It's a race to the bottom. And I think that there could be alignment. There could be... If there was actual kind of communication and a kind of integrative process that had integrity, the people who are running these companies, valued human life more than the bottom line of their companies,

29:57kind of shareholders stock value, then we would have a chance. But it does seem like we're in the part of history when the leaders care about the bottom line more than they do about any human life, maybe outside of their intermediate circle. Okay, fine, but did you see Apple's new folding phone? It looks sick. It looks sick. We did consume content on a left screen and not a right screen. Let's talk about outside of acting. You're working so much. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work. But how do you cleanse the soul? How do you feed your soul? What is it that you do? Yeah, what do we do? What do we do? No, but for real. Yeah. I... I'm just... I just... What are you reading? I'm going bowling with my sister. Yeah, that's awesome. That's right. No, no, I... Yeah, I mean, the usual things. I try to read, I try to go and see movies, go to see plays, see comedy, see music, listen to music, go out. I think life performance is now the kind of the last...

31:01I don't know, the most kind of important commodity we have, like, like, live visceral experience. Yeah. So I feel like that... Yeah, I know. For me too, I feel so happy about that. So I try and have as much life in my life as possible, as much vitality in my life as possible. And yeah, and honestly, friends, community, family, that is so simple, but like nature, the kind of eternal thing, I feel like, I don't know. No, this is good. You got to tell us this stuff. Because it seems like everyone knows it, but not everyone knows. Especially young men. Yeah. You know, I'm a little bit afraid right now. I want young men to see other young men, such as yourself and ourselves, or not that different in age. How to stay healthy? How to stay positive and optimistic? There are... I mean, I think there are... There are dependable things that are eternal. There is the woods. There is the ocean. There is a walk with a buddy. There is art. There is always going to be tremendously talented

32:01and heartfelt people making beautiful... Like, I don't lose hope in humanity. Because you can go to any art gallery in any city in the world, and you can go, oh, humans are f**king amazing. That's true. And you can see so much beautiful creativity. And proper community. I think that is something that is making a pretty great comeback. Is that we're all longing to be able to kind of... cry together. Like, I feel like... Because it's in the moments we're in, it's like the heart breaks and breaks, and it lives by breaking. I don't know. Someone said that. It wasn't me. It's quite a nice quote. It was me, I said. It was you. I said it. But there's something... I think particularly for young men, and I'm not... I mean, but I think there's something... I know for me, if I can bring my wounds... and my pain in a kind of self-owned way to a group of people that I know love me for who I am, not for what I can do for them,

33:03or any kind of status, or any kind of power, or anything like that, then I feel connected to life, connected to the world in a way that feels eternal, and it doesn't feel like it can be taken like that. That feels like a spiritual practice to me. I love that. And... APPLAUSE Sometimes I have to be reminded that as a man, we have to reach out, and it doesn't always go perfect all the time. No. You got to keep doing it. Yeah. Sometimes I'll reach out, and I'll be like, that's awful. I'm not reaching out ever again to anybody. Right, right. And now I'm in the basement podcasting. Right? Yeah, I'm problematic. That's literally the only thing you do. That's the only response. Are you a tennis fan? You're British. I like tennis. You like blue-low-dance. Are you going to the US Open? I'm going to the US Open, I hope. Yeah. I love when we're doing, yeah, I love tennis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what was cool with the Alcarez thing the other day? Like, I love Alcarez. I think he is my favorite young tennis player right now.

34:05Carlos Alcarez lost to an American, and a five-hour match. But he lost so elegantly. It was so cool. He was vomiting into his towel. And at the end, he was smuck, because he just had this huge terrible injury. And he was just so grateful that he managed to compete at the level that he did, win or lose. There's something so good about that. What a lesson. That's gorgeous. Yeah. To him, the definition of success was I get to be out here trying my hardest. And it reminds me of Simone Biles when she was like, you know what? I'm going to take care of myself as an ordinary person and step away from my extraordinary abilities for a minute and make sure that I can keep doing my extraordinary shit. But I need to make sure that my ordinaryness is intact when she stepped away from gymnastics. I found that very, very inspiring as well. Yeah. It was very inspiring. Well, thank you so much for coming here. The uprising is an amazing song. Oh, leoporizes and theaters everywhere now. Andrew Thuckeye, they could break the record. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

35:06Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That's our opportunity. But before we go, please consider supporting the Feel Good Foundation. They provide assistance and health care support to 9-11 first responders who suffered catastrophic health effects. If you can, please donate at the link below. Now, here it is, your moment of z. We want voter ID, voter identification. I Dealing. I Dealing. We want it with a photo. So that when I see Kim Scott, I won't get him mixed up with, let's see who's over there with Scott Bessent. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the Daily Show weekdays at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.

36:08This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.