Trump Makes Delusional Strait of Hormuz Threat | Will Forte, Ariana Madix, Mike Tomlin, Dan White | Monday, August 17

0:00From studio 16 Rock-a-Miller Center in the heart of New York City, is the tonight's R.A.K. L.I.P. R.I.K. L.I.K. R.I.K. R.I.K. L.I.K. L.I.K. L.I.K. L.I.K. L.I.K. R.I.K. L.I.K L.I.K. Come on. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Thanks, and enjoy yourself, everybody.

1:01Enjoy yourself, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight's show! Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Let's get to some news. The guys over the weekend, President Trump made a campaign stop in Long Island, and Melania Trump did not travel with him. Ooh. Yeah, people have noticed that she's been laying low. In fact, she hasn't been seen in public for 29 days. Trump heard him say, big deal, I haven't seen her in private for two years. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Public. I'm... I understand Melania is taking a step back with everything going on. She's worried that at any moment she could be trapped with Trump inside her catering truck. You never know. Yep, no one has seen Melania. All I know is that it's going to be crazy when we find out she ran off with Mitch McConnell. That's all I got. That's going to be... We'll get this. Trump is now blaming vandals for large areas of damaged grass in the National Mall, right,

2:02where he held a rally on the 4th of July. These are tough times for Trump. The grass is brown, the reflecting pool is green, and the bruise on his hand is blue. So, I've... But don't worry, Trump has a plan. He's going to let the healthy grass grow long and then rake it over to the bear spot. Just cover it. Jesus, you come to write over it. You don't even notice it. Well, after months of setbacks with the Iranians, Trump now says he's going to declare the straight-up or moves a U.S. territory. Now, a lot of people are saying that plan makes no sense, but luckily, Trump's come up with so many other plans to take over the straight that it's bizarre. I mean, check out this one. Classified plan 307. First, Jellyron, we're ready to be friends. Dens, send them a nice care package. Finally, they open it to find a bunch of jelly farms lettuce. I win. Yay! I don't think I'm going to work. Here's another plan. Classified plan 658.

3:02First, we tell it around they can add the straights. Then, I sneak into it around in an airport catering truck. Finally, I hit it around with an owner reverse card in the straightest hours. I win. Yay! These are bizarre. I'm not sure about that. Here's one more last one. Classified plan 238. First, we tell it around we'll split custody of the straights. Then, they refuse. Finally, I dress up like Mrs. Duffer and visit the straight everyday. I win, dear. Yay! This was interesting. All right. Well, this is while the Alaska's primary election is tomorrow and in the race for governor. There are 17 candidates on the ballot. Here, now, by phone, to share their visions for the state are all 17 candidates. Uh, yep. This is obviously a crowded race. Have you found it difficult to stand out? Oh, that was a good idea. One at a time. One at a time, please, in your opinion, what is the most important issue facing Alaskans? Why should be legal to date a moose?

4:08I'm sorry. At the end, there, it sounded like someone said something about dating a moose, but I probably just misheard. Whoever said that, do you want to clarify? Okay. Next question. Do you think ranked choice voting favors Democrats since Republicans might split the vote? Oh, he's so good. I'm so sorry. I locked eyes with the moose, and it was love at first, son. Again, please don't answer all at once, but at that time, I definitely heard someone say, describing the moment they fell in love with a moose. Who said that? Okay. Fair enough, but I would just say, if everyone's speaking at once and your answer is an embarrassing secret, you could just speak earlier, or not at all. Yeah, okay. Okay, great. Now, this time, I'm going to mute all of the lines, but one, and that one person can answer. Okay? Here's my question. What is your position on new oil drilling projects?

5:11Hello? I wear fake antlers on my head to help her get in the mood. That was a mistake. All 70 candidates were governor of the last year. Everybody, I just can't. Well, so business news is so that Loes challenged Home Depot's giant skeleton decoration by unveiling their own massive headless skeleton. Can we see it? Loes and Home Depot are competing. Meanwhile, Ace Hardware is like, we got real skeletons working the register. The dead says, it's nice to see 70, dude. No. Well, this is this. I read that some waffle house locations are now selling tacos. I like it. Now when people are drunk at 2 a.m. instead of throwing punches, they'll be slapping each other with tortillas. Yeah, waffle house tacos. I think we know where the next parasite outbreak will come from. Well, guys, the NFL season kicks off in just a few weeks, and this weekend a lot of teams played their first preseason games.

6:11These games don't count, so it can be hard to get the fans fired up. Well, luckily the Kansas City Chiefs have a secret weapon. Check out this promo they were running. The Chiefs are back, and they're entering a whole new era. They're taking on the Rams, and they're bringing a very special guest. Someone Travis knows all too well. Who's got bad blood with the Rams? And wants to kick this cruel summer to the curb. That's right, it's Chiefs Tidens Coach Tom Melvin. Don't miss it. I thought he was going to be a killer. And finally, a woman broke a world record by running 100 miles on a treadmill in 12 hours. She also broke the record for most noise complaints filed by a downstairs neighbor. We have a great show. Give it up for the roots of everybody. Hey! Welcome to the show, everybody. Be sure to tune in. We'll be back in a few weeks. We'll be back in a few weeks. We'll be back in a few weeks. We'll be back in a few weeks. We'll be back in a few weeks. We'll be back in a few weeks. Hey! Welcome to the show, everybody. Be sure to tune in all week long.

7:11We got some great shows coming up. Michelle, Fiffer is going to be here. Great armors, we're joining us. Tomorrow night, we've got a show you don't miss. Michael Strayhand will be here. Chase Stokes, from Outer Banks. You'll be here. And we got some great music. I'm very excited about this. Making their first late-night TV performance in 35 years. The Straycats will be here. Tomorrow night. I'm so excited. I love the Straycats. But first one, I'm going to be here. I'm going to be here. I love the Straycats. But first one, I'm going to show you every tonight. He starts in the highly anticipated new movie, Coyote vs. Acme. Right now it's at 95% on Rotten Tomatoes. It is a fantastic movie. It's so fun. It's in theaters August 28th. The very funny, we'll forte is here. I love it. I love it. Well, well. She is the host of Love Island, USA. The season eight reunion special airs August 31st at 9pm on peacock. Ariana Maddox is joining us. Yes! Love Island, fam. Plus, he coached the Pittsburgh Steelers to a 19 winning seasons.

8:1519 winning seasons and a Super Bowl victory. You can now see him every week on football night in America, which kicks off September 9th right here on NBC and peacock. Mike Tomlin is here tonight. We'll be right back with Will Forte, everybody. Come on back. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. All right. Our first guest is a very funny man who stars in the highly anticipated new movie, Coyote vs. Acme, which hits theaters August 28th. Please welcome Will Forte. I love you so much. I can't wait to get into everything I want to talk about Coyote vs. Acme, your new movie I want to talk about. Congrats on four seasons. You were fantastic. Acme, that's you.

9:15Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you in that show. You're fantastic. How's mom, by the way? How's Patty Forte? Mom is doing great. I love your mom. She still talks about seeing you down in Malibu. She loves post-offs. She loves post-offs. Yeah, just like a surprise run-in. It was the greatest ever. We called you. Yeah. Yeah, because she loved you so much. She's very funny. She's so funny and we are making a show with her in it. What do you say? Comedy show starring my mom. Yes, finally. And her friend Carol. Yeah, so... Her friend Carol is well. Her friend Carol, they're both 83. 83 years old. How did you come up on this? When I was at SNL, my mom and Carol used to call up all the time with these crazy comedy ideas. And they would always be pretty far off the mark. So I would say, what do we save it for the Patty Forte's sketch show? Yeah. And then after saying that enough, it was like, I got to do the Patty Forte's sketch show. So we took her and Carol.

10:16And the show was all just like kind of documentary style following them, trying to write a comedy sketch. And then the end of each show is that sketch that they've written, starring them, and like one of my fun, exciting comedy buddies. Now, they've never done, they have no background in sketch. Zero background. They are, it's like... Yes, zero background. That's what makes it fresh. It's a documentary style. You follow them around. I can't wait to see that. Yes. Let's talk about Coyote versus Acme. The reviews are outstanding. Is that 95% right now in Rotten Tomatoes? Congratulations. Thank you very much. I actually... I brought you a gift. What? Don't get thrown because they're used. They are washed. But yeah, these are my socks. They're Wiley Coyote socks and road runner. Come on, bro. They... You are the coolest. You don't have to bring me a gift. No, they're yours. They're very soft. I've worn them a bunch. Yes, yes. Thank you.

11:16Thank you very much. I appreciate this. I love the premise of this movie. It's so great. It is... It's a live-action slash animation hybrid, kind of like in the style of Hoofram Roger Rabbit. It's so well done. It was beautiful. Yeah. It's Wiley Coyote is fed up with... You know, he's been using all these Acme products for years that have malfunctioned and just caused him great bodily harm. And so he wants to sue the Acme Corporation. So he comes to me. Because it's like the Jet Propulsion Roller Skates to try to catch the road runner. Yeah. Explode and then he has a magnet glove that ends up getting stuck to a missile that gets locked. Oh, yeah. He blows up, turns into ashes. Eyeballs fall down. Yeah. So he's like... Enough is enough. He doesn't talk at all. He carries signs. Yes, he signs. But he's... Enough is enough. I'm suing the Acme Corporation. He comes to me, kind of a small... Small-time lawyer. I don't know why he comes to me. And we take on the Acme Corporation

12:16and the powerful legal team that they have led by John Cena. Oh, my gosh. John Cena. John Cena is so funny. And this is well. So good. So good. It's you and John Cena and all the Looney Tunes characters. But can you explain the movie was supposed to come out in like 2024 or something? Or when did you film this? It's been a long journey. We completed the movie. Uh-huh. And it was testing really, really well. And then at a certain point, we got a call from Warner Brothers that they had a new idea for the release of the movie, which was to not release it in theaters, or not release it on streaming, but to release it into a garbage can. And... That's interesting. It was like, that's our new release plan. And we're like... I've never... Never been done. Okay, yeah. I've never... Well, okay. So anyway, we got to see the movie a week later. And so they called it a funeral screening. And I go into this thing thinking like, this thing's got to suck.

13:16I mean, if it's got to suck, if you're... If that's the decision you make, how... It's got to suck. And I went in there and it's so good. It's really... It's so special. Which was so frustrating and confusing and heartbreaking. Like, this is a movie that I was watching. And I'm like, I want to share this with my kids so bad. And I'm not going to be able to. And it was... It just made no sense. And then I got angry for a long time. And then I just had to let it go. It's like, I can't... Nothing I do is going to make any difference. I just have to move on. It's just a matter of... Imagine this happening in real life. Yeah. Because it's like... So many years goes into making a film. It's crazy. Editing and directing. The writing is really clever, too. By the way, shout out to the writer. Sammy Birch. Sammy Birch. It's amazing. Oscar nominated. But very well delivered lines by you, Will Fortake. Well done. And 95 on Ron Tomatoes. It's a sweet movie. Lana Condor is in it. Well, I love as well. It's fun. The whole family can enjoy it and laugh and get together.

14:17And it's going to crush. Congratulations on this. And thanks for... Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Everybody out there for not giving up on this film. And for making... It is because of the people who made so much noise that the on-screen story of underdogs fighting these corporations became the off-screen story, too. A bunch of people made a bunch of noise, rose up against this corporation, and they won. So... Come on up. Will Fortake, everybody? Hi, Odee versus Akmi is in theaters next Friday. We'll be right back with more tonight, Joe. Stick around, everybody. Everybody. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. Everybody got it. Everybody got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. I know gas is a New York Times best-selling author and the Emmy-nominated host of Love Island, USA. The season 8 reunion special airs August 31st at 9 p.m. on Peacock. Please welcome Ariana Manic!

15:18Welcome back to the show. It's so nice to see you. We have some exciting news that was announced this morning. You're coming back to Broadway. You're going to be in Justin Time. I was so excited. What is this happening? September 12th? Yes, that's my first show. September 12th. You're playing Connie Francis in Justin Time. I'm going to congratulations. Thank you. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. What is this happening? September 12th? Yes, that's my first show. September 12th. You're playing Connie Francis in Justin Time. Ariana, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so thrilled. I've been listening to Connie Francis music since I was a kid. You know, it's the kind of songs that my dad would play on the piano and stuff. So I'm thrilled to come into the show. But also exciting year. You got nominated for an Emmy for hosting Love Island. What's up, Max? Come on, boy! This is a good year. It's a great year. Yes. What did your family say when they found out? Oh my gosh. It was so cool getting to talk to my mom. So my mom and I have a lot of little inside things. And one of them is that she calls me her awesome girl.

16:20And so, yeah, she said that to me. She was like, I'm so happy for you. My awesome girl and it brought me back to being a kid. And she's coming with me to the Emmys. Yeah, see you. Come on. Yeah. It'll be so nice to do that with her. Your awesome girl did very very well. Let's talk about Love Island, USA. It is. Yes. Oh, wait. Before we talk about Love Island, because every bombshell needs their water bottle. Are you kidding me? You're officially a bombshell. What are you kidding me? Oh my gosh. The water bottle? Yeah. A hot new bombshell has entered the villa. Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm honored. Sorry, it's empty. I love this. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for this. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it's a visual. It's the biggest phenomenon. Do you know how big it is while you're doing it? Because you're in the middle of Fiji. You're filming. Yeah, no, it's crazy because we're on the other side of the world. Especially season six, you know, when it really started to blow up. On my algorithm, our team's algorithm, you know, it feels we're across,

17:23halfway across the world. We're doing almost what feels like a group project. Yeah. You know, where we're making the best show we can. We're having a blast doing it. We're all talking about you. But we don't see that. We think it's just our algorithm. Like it just, it knows that we're talking about love island. So it just keeps feeding us the means of the TikTok. When do you even get to see the episode? Do you see them? I don't get peacock and Fiji. So I have to watch like a secret link. So they send you the producer, send you like footage and go, you have to watch this before you go into the book. Yeah, I watch a secret link. Usually it's the finished episode, but sometimes like, let's say I'm doing after Sun or something, it's just clips. And I have to know what's going on because I'm doing it. I'm doing clips. And I have to know what's going on because things that happen so fast. I come in, people have we coupled, they're really happy together. And then if I don't know what's going on, I feel like Donald Glover and community and walking with the pizzas and then learn rooms on fire. Oh, yay, the whole place on fire. That's kind of what you're doing. That's what it feels like. Yeah, because otherwise, who knows?

18:23We're like, because we're ask guys and they're like, we hate each other. Exactly. People, there's memes of you going every other day. Your reactions are so fun. This is your reaction to the, I'm TT. Which became a big thing. Oh my God, yeah. That felt like home, you know, that moment. It felt like I was back at home on Bravo or something. It was great. You knew how to do it. I love, they were killing it that night. You also have this, you know, for your slummo entrances. Yes, yeah. When you walk into the villa, people recreate the month's social media. And I was thinking, do you think about what you're going to do in those slummo moves? Like, sometimes it's a premiere, sometimes it's a shush. Yeah, we got a shush. We got some of the little wave of kids. A wave is good. A wink. But, wings are scary on slummo. Are you a winker in general? Do you wink? I'm not a good winker. I'm not a good winker. I look like a guy dream of Jeannie. That's how we figure out. Yeah. Do you want to, have you ever tried to do the slummo walk?

19:25I would not be a winker. I could show you got it. We should do it. You want to do it? Let's do it. You want to start here. Nice to meet you. Yeah. We walk this way. You got a santa. You got to really put your hips into it. Yeah, and then you look back. And then you give a look back. Oh, you look back. And what do you do when you look back? You look at, you go. You can, well, you got to really sell it. All right, here we'll do it. You go in front of me, because you. Okay, so we'll go like this. Yes, ma'am. Okay, really give it. Look at the santa. Santa. Yes, santa. And then give him a look back. And then whip it around and keep on going. All right, that's him right there. Do we do it? You do it. Those are right. Hurry up and Alex, everybody. Season 8 of Love Island, USA. It's streaming now through Union Special. There's August 31st at 9 p.m. on peacock. More tonight's show after the break. The best pictures of sexy, seven five.

20:25But this is the number's that tell from the dark side by any means. Let's see. Give a big, big seat. I'm gonna sell how many of them have to beat. Our next guest is a Super Bowl champion who coached you Pittsburgh Steelers for 19 consecutive winning seasons. Now you can see him every week during football night in America, which kicks off September 9th right here on NBC and peacock. Please welcome Mike Tomlitt. Hey, David, that's right. All right, Mike Tomlitt. Welcome to the tonight's show. I'm happy that you're here. I'm honored that you're here. Let me get comfortable, man. This is unbelievable. This is, this is so easy. The legendary roots crew. The roots crew right there. Much respect. Does it feel like you thought the tonight show wouldn't feel? I don't know that I grew up thinking about sitting in this chair, brother. You know, like I live the athletic life.

21:25Yeah. I just wasn't on my bucket list, but I'm glad to be here. Yeah, I know. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It's awesome. But you said your grandma used to let you watch the tonight show when you were a kid? It's signal bedtime. Yes. When I heard that Johnny Carson theme music. Yes. You know, I'm glad to be able to. Let me see the monologue. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Just want to live it up. My grandmother was an avid watcher, so I know she's smiling at me right now. Oh, that's an amazing thing. You know what I mean? Come on. Yeah. We're smiling right back at her. Earlier this year, you ended your historic run as the head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. You won a Super Bowl championship. You never had a losing season. Ever. You won most respected coaches in the game. What does it take to make a great football team? You know, I just always try to keep perspective. Like football is our game, but I'm in the winning business. You know? And so I tried to find as many ways to live that.

22:29Forget saying it. Living that. Like with the guys. And just appreciating the process, the journey, the relationships. As a leader for me, listen was a major component of being successful from my perspective. Like I had to have a pulse of the people that I work with and how do you do it other than locking in legitimately. And listen. There's a thing online that people talk about called Tommanisms. It's you. It's you saying these quotes and they just end up being legendary and they kind of break the internet. I just want to show a few of them right here at that gun bar. Mike, what is your reaction to potentially playing 13 straight weeks? And how tough will that be physically? We do not care. Don't blink. If you blink or cut your eyelids off. Never say never, but never. Okay. Mike, you have a year. Mother. Oh. Thank you.

23:29You're blessed. No, no, no, no, no. You're just straight up left mid-quested. Why did you choose to do that? Because whatever came out of my mouth next was going to get me fine. So you're like, I'll let her. If they might find me less if I walk out. That's so smart. I thought it'd be kind of fun if it's actually had so many one-liners. I like to read you three and maybe explain me what they mean. Okay. Is that all right? All right. This is Mike Tomman phrase. It is a fine line between drinking wine and squashing grapes. It is. It is. It is. Yeah. This one says, I can't give you all the ingredients to the hot dog. You might not like it. If you guys haven't read the ingredients of hot dog, don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. Just enjoy the hot dog.

24:30You know, we're in an entertainment business and you know it's about access these days. Yeah. And sometimes all access isn't great access. You know, how about this? We're still squirreling those nuts. Sometimes you got a good idea and it's good to squirl it away for later. Like, if you don't, if you don't need it that week, there's going to be a week that you need it. Yeah, you're going to need it. So just squirl it. So we'll squirl that nut. We'll say squirling that nut. Yeah. When you're going into this now as an analyst, are you excited about what's happening with football night in America? Everyone's watching. I am. I am. It's been a while since I've been a novice. And I like it. I got a little anxiety. I'm nervous. I like that. And that feels good. You know how to do the other thing. That performance anxiety? Yeah. I feel good about it. You do. I think you're going to be fantastic. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

25:30My brother. Thank you. You may grab my... My talent, everybody. Football night in America returns Wednesday September 9 on NBC and Peacock. Come on, man. Come on. No. Stop. I'm going to hold the ball for you. Yeah. I never let a man on the side before me. My name's Dave Chowel-Fortay. I'm Arielle Maddox. Mike Tomlin. Great job, buddy. And the Ruth right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Got a ball. Got another ball. Got another ball. Get the tour. Get the tour. Thank you very much, man.

26:35episodes weekday mornings wherever you get your podcasts. Watch the tonight show starring Jimmy Fallon, weeknights on NBC and streaming on Pika.