Trump Stalls on Iran Peace Talks | Fred Armisen, Michelle Monaghan, Rivers Cuomo & Patrick Wilson | Wednesday, August 19

0:00From 306 me and Rock'n'Buller's February the heart of New York City. It's a tonight show, sorry, Jimmy Bell. It's a tonight, I'm going to give you this dance. Great armistice, the Del Marnex, River Cove on Patrick Rowe and Featuring Dean. Legendary Roots, Crew. 23, 70, 40. And now, here he is. Jimmy Bell. And now, here he is. Here he is. Here he is. Here he is. Here he is. Here he is. Oh, you have the fever. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm here. Come on, now. I'm too old, Johnny Bell. That's it. Thank you very much.

1:00Enjoy everybody. Enjoy yourself. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Well, guys, today President Trump announced that later this year he expects to meet with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un for the first time since 2019. You know you're depressed when you're texty and old hook up from seven years ago. You know, that's what you do. You wanna get up? Yeah, Trump and Kim could meet in November. It all really depends on how their couple's Halloween costume goes. So I'm tipsy as guacamole and... Here's a photo from the last time Trump met with Kim Jong-un. Yeah. I think it's cute how their bellies bump like the tooth. Soon to be moms at LaMoz class. Me want the big news this week is that Trump said that he's no longer talking to Iran.

2:00After months of negotiations, he now says that they're not speaking. Just check out what happened on his last call with the IOTO. I'm not gonna talk first. Nobody's better. Not talking than me. You're probably about to crack, but I'm going strong. I could not talk all day. I'm just like a monk. A loser says what? I said, a loser says what? What? Damn it. I got myself. Wow, you're not saying a word. It's like talking to Mitch McConnell. I can't take it anymore. Fine, you could have the straight of her moves. End of Gulf of America. And my ballroom, hell of pat and JD events. Oh, wait, are you just asleep? Good idea. All right. Good to be with his eyes open. Wow. What's the more political news after making a trip to Iowa this week,

3:03people are speculating that Pete Hagueceth could be planning to run for president in 2028. Here to comment is the potential Pete Hagueceth voter, Dirk Straybarth. Hey, Dirk. Thanks for having me, Jimmy. It's actually pronounced street barf. It's an old German name that means guy who barfs in the street. Got it, guys. So you think you might vote for Pete Hagueceth? Oh, if he runs, I'm absolutely voting for him. This is Pete Hagueceth we're talking about. He has a chance to be one of the greatest presidents of all time. You say greatest? No, I mean, greatest. I love that his skin always has that weak old oyster sheen. Like you could peel off all the sweat and it would still be in the shape of his face. Why do you like that? Because it's relatable. He looks like the kind of guy who misses his flight because he's passed out on a bar stool at the airport chiles. That's not a cool kind of guy. You sound like my ex-wife. Look, all I want is a president I can have a beer with.

4:04Okay. And a shot. And a snort. And a drive. And a crash. And a push the car into the lake so we can walk back to Hooters and have another 17 beers. 17 beers is way too many beers. Now you really sound like my ex-wife. And my doctor. And the waitress in Hooters. Well, I'm really hoping we'll beat my next ex-wife. Yeah, how about the Hagueceth record? I mean, do you think the Warren Iran is going well? Iran. Sorry, it does ring a bell. You've never heard of the Iran? Nah. I did hear you change the job title to Secretary of War. That's awesome. It's like how I call myself a high school football coach. When really, I'm a guy who got fired from being a high school football coach. Why did you get fired from being a high school football coach? Roughing the passer. And the mascot. And the marching band. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's starting to make a lot of sense why you'd be voting for Pete Hagueceth.

5:04Thank you, Jimmy. At the end of the day, I'm a simple man. As long as he promises to bring back the old four loco, out all breathalyzers, and make every year a leapier so I don't have to pay child support anymore, he's got my vote. No, no, no, you still have to pay child support when it's a leapier. Okay, now you're literally quoting my ex-wife. All right, there you go. Dirk Sraybars, everyone. Fruit Park. Yeah, Fruit Park. Fruit Park. Well, some entertainment news, Vindizel said that this December, they will start shooting the 11th Fast and Furious movie. Yeah. Well, they will say this squad is getting a little older. I have to move you as just them trying to get into the car. And finally, Netflix has a new dating show called Weight to Date that will follow a group of people who have lost large amounts of weight and are now attempting to find love. Yeah. And here's the cruel twist. Some of them are cake. We have a great show. Give it up to the roots. Hey.

6:16Thank you very much. What a show we have for your tonight. He has a new podcast out called Podlandia. And you can see him in the new movie Nimrods, which is in theaters now, the very funny Fred Armistice. Wow. Let's see if you can. Good night. He's the greatest. Greatest. He's our favorite. He's everybody's favorite. We love him so much. She stars in the new film The Whisper Man, which premieres August 28th on Netflix. Michelle Monahan is joining us. Michelle Monahan. And then I am so excited about this. Come on. Yes. They are Grammy-winning rock icons whose new album, Weezer. The gold album comes out Friday. Weezer is here. Tonight. Guys, life can be complicated, but it's not that hard to make it simple.

7:16In fact, everything can be broken down and broken down. And into three simple steps. I'll show you what I mean. It's time for three simple steps. Our first topic is Reading More. Let's just break it down into three simple steps. Step one. Decide that you want to spend more time reading. That's good. Step two. Promise you'll read each and every day. Step three. Turn on your TV subtitles and say, this can't be a good idea. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. You can't read it. I don't know what that title doesn't say this counts. Done. Third thing I've read. This week. I've read a bunch of stuff. Yeah, it's very safe. Up next, we have using TikTok. Step one. Download the app. Step two. Scrolls with a few videos. Step three. Look up and realize you have a long white beard. And your children are grown. What happened? Up next, we have going to a public pool.

8:16Step one, put on your swimsuit. Step two, jump in. Step three, swim through a suspiciously warm patch of water and try not to think about it. Oh, my God. Come on. It'd be worse. It could be if you hit one of those band-aids. Exactly. Or something worse. That's right. Up next, we have texting your ex. Step one, don't. He-he-he. Up next, we have... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was a lifeless... Oh, good, yeah. Breach. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, next, we have... Figuring out if something is AI. Ooh. Step one, show your parents. Step two, see if things say, wow, it can't believe that's real. Step three, if they do, it's AI. There you go, Leo. God. Oh, dog is only trampoline. It's not a bunch of money.

9:16Up next, we have time traveling. Oh. Step one, build a time machine. Step two, enter the time machine. Step one, build a time machine. Wait. And finally, we have visiting a planetarium. Step one, buy a ticket. Step two, find your seat. Step three, sit back and wait for the edibles to kick in. That's all that time we have for three simple steps. We'll be right back with... R-r-r-r-r-ed. Arn has had. Yeah, not only that, but... Our first guest is a very funny and talented actor and comedian. He has a new podcast called Padlandia. and you can see him in the new movie, Nimrods, which is in theaters now. Everyone, please welcome Fred Armageddon. Oh! Oh! Oh!

10:17Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! How's it shooting going? It's going great. We shot in Paris. Ooh. And I have a thing I have a photo here of you and Tim Burton. Yeah. This is a paparazzi picture from really far away from across the river. And they've videoed. They did video of us shooting. And I've never seen myself as an actor. You know, an action. And then you do something. Oh. And it was pretty wild to see. Usually I'd be like, I don't want to see this. And it was just like me walking from the river with Tim Burton and Jenna. Wow. Because you're just acting. And you don't think of yourself as an actor but to watch you act. When he says action, do you change? You're like, yeah. A little bit. I was just like, oh, wow.

11:20That's how you act. I was like, I think I'm a professional. You know what I mean? Wow. You know what I mean? Like, you never think of yourself that way. No. But then you realize you were good for you. Not bad. I last saw you. We hung out and we went to fishing. Do you remember this? We went to Maine and we just, we weren't going fishing. But we happened to be on a lake. Yeah. And I said, Fred, you fish and you said, no. That's right. And I said, should we just cast out and just throw it and you go, I'm good. Right. And I go, yeah. But let's just, we're here. And we got the fishing rod. Yeah. We want to do it once and you go, OK. Yeah. And then you threw it out and I got a photo of you. I don't know if you know this. Of you fishing for the first time. This is real. Maybe this. Yeah. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. I'm proud of it. And I mean, I didn't catch anything. You did not catch a thing. I don't know if I was close to catching anything.

12:20I don't think you wanted to catch it. But then you reeled it in and I go, do you want to cast again? And you go, no. Yeah, because I was it. You want to do it? Because it went well and then it went out to the water and it plunked down. I didn't want to make a fool of myself where then all of a sudden got caught in something. I was thinking about it. It's such a rare photo. And I could just tell from the audience response they want to see more of it. Yeah. Yeah. So I was thinking maybe if life magazine existed, this should be on the cover of Life Night. Yeah. But it doesn't exist. Because it's just a story. A story. The composition is really nice. Yeah. You go, it's mysterious a little bit. It's almost the Mona Lisa. Yep. Not almost. It's exactly. It's exactly like the Mona Lisa. Yeah, yeah. Because you don't know if you're happy or crying or seriously smirking or searching. Searching. Searching for a fish. Or one eye's closed. Yeah, we don't know. Or blinking Morse code. And what's in there? A whale? We don't know. We don't know what's the lockness monster. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's in the underneath.

13:21Only like people in submarines would know that. Yes. But what we did was we want everyone to have a chance to see it up close to person. So we took the picture. We framed it. And we put it in the NBC store downstairs. This is real. And if you hear someone there and the NBC store, you're leaving tonight. You can go to the NBC store tonight and take a photo with the photo. I love it. That good, yeah. But we worked together. We worked together. We did something together. Yeah, we did something. I love the person who's just walking behind that. They didn't even stop. Yeah. It's easy. You also, I will say, it's great to go see Fred, your own tour. You have a great live show. It's called Comedy for musicians, but everyone is welcome. That's right. And you'll be at the Beacon Theatre here in New York City. That's right. On October 16th, yes. Go get tickets available. Go see Fred, show. Yeah, thank you. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome. Everyone's talking about this. Padlandia. You're in the podcast world, bud. Yeah. And you and Carrie Brownstein, who we love. We're watching, rewatching Portlandia.

14:22How's it like rewatching Portlandia? Do you remember shooting it? Do you remember writing it? We'd forgotten about, but it holds up. That's what we were glad about. That we really still like the sketches. And then also we get to hang out with each other, me and Carrie. Yeah, you love her. Well, she loves you. Yeah. You're perfect together. So you go, oh, no, do you remember that day? Bubble Bob, we had to go. Because everything was in Portland. Everything was shot in Portland. I was remarkable how unsafe everything was. Like we just drove you on bicycles and stuff. Yes. No safety measures. That's right. Well, this is back in the day. You kind of did this. IFC? Yeah. Originally, now it's on Netflix. Now it's on Netflix. And yeah, you just try. People watching it now that it's on Netflix. Oh, yeah, it's great. It's like new people and like, famed kids and stuff. That's fantastic. Yeah. Nice feeling. You're doing that. And also you're in a film right now called Nimrods, which is getting great reviews. And it's about a band. It's like a green day. It's a band that's going to open for Green Day. Yes. But it's like based on Green Day stories. In the movie, you play a motel clerk that they meet on the road.

15:24Yeah. You've been in bands when you were touring around. Oh, yeah. Very interesting people that you meet, right? Always. Always on the road. What are these? It's like you really, a lot of singular people, people who are like are on their own. And one time my band, I was in a band trench mouth. And we were on tour. This is in the 90s. And our band broke down. And we were on the side of the road. And this guy pulled up. And he was kind of like hulking. And he opened up our hood. And he was like, well, you got all over the motor. And that's why I first heard like, oh, that's a Baltimore accent. Oil, all over the motor. And the oil. All over the motor. And you know, he was a really old band. And he, I don't know how he fixed it. I don't know, he just fixed a valve or something. And then we're like, thank you so much. How do we repay you? And he's like, well, just give me a lottery ticket. And we're like, you got it. We promised to get you a lottery ticket. And then he left. We had no address. No. What kind of a deal is that? Like, yeah. Yeah. All right. That's bad. I want a lottery ticket. It's a good deal, but like, he disappeared.

16:25So if you're out there, I have a lottery ticket for you. It's a $1 million dollar, right? Come on, everybody! Australia has been going really well here, and스res has been fortunate to see you all today. Yeah. That's exciting how you are going to make this good for you. I really need you. I personally am. You can do it however you'd like. See you later, buddy. disciplining gets something your probably going for. It's almost time to ask for the prize. I want a切 for you, Our next guest is a very talented actress who stars in the new film The Whisper Man, which premieres August 28th on Netflix. Please welcome Michelle Monahan! We love it when you're here. Happy to be. I want to talk about your new movie Whisper Man with Robert De Nureau. Come on Adam Scott.

17:25It's amazing. Everything is intense. I want to get into all of this stuff. Welcome. But first, I want to talk to you about you had a big summer trip and you have to tell everyone where you went. We did. We had a big family trip. We love a big adventure and we went to Indonesia. It's a wonderful country. It's incredible. I highly recommend it. And we just had the most beautiful time. It's our second time there, actually. So you went twice. We went twice. And it's prior to starting The Whisper Man with Robert De Nureau. We had gotten home from a trip to Indonesia. We went on a surf trip and was getting ready to start the film. And I'm pretty excited to be working with Robert De Nureau as you can imagine and trying to figure out what are things that I might have in common with him. What could I possibly bring up with him? Were two police detectives driving in a car a lot? Yeah, you get to know him. I thought a little bit of imposter syndrome. And we start chatting and I was like, yeah, we just got home from Indonesia.

18:27And he's like, oh, that's great. Do you see the dragons? And I was like, what? He's like, did you see the dragons? And I was like, what dragons? He said the Komodo dragons. And I was like, oh my god, I've missed the dragons. I've missed the dragons. I said, no, what are you talking about? The Komodo dragons. So he's like, well, you've got to go back and see the dragons. And then I was like, oh my god, I can't believe I've missed the dragons. I go home. And I immediately, you know, Google Komodo dragons. And I'm like, oh, wow, these are amazing creatures. And I'm thinking to myself, my god, we've got to go back and see the dragons. Yeah. So now we start planning this vacation. And I say to the family, we're going back to Indonesia. And we're going to Komodo National Park. You're going to see the court now this is. I think it's Bob DeNiro. That's the best reason he's a great travel agent. Yeah, exactly. I've tried it. Look at this photo. This is real. Talk to me. So this is a Komodo dragon.

19:28How big are they? They are probably about 10 feet long. They are vicious. They're prehistoric. They have an interesting anatomy as well. I found out that they have two. They have two. The males have two things. Things. They have two things. And so I thought that was really fascinating. And they're very aggressive. So I think he gosh did Bob know that they had two things as well. Could have warned me. I know. Yes, it's just. Anyway, so we're learning a lot about the dragons. But the most important thing is getting that photo. Because as soon as I get back to this boat that's taken us there, I'm like, I'm not. You got something that you're related to Robert and Erie. Yeah, I'm sitting on a photo to Bob. Yes. So I'm so excited. I said, get on the boat. I get Wi-Fi. I send the photo to Bob. I say, Bob, it's amazing. I met a Commoto National Park. Just like you said, I'm so excited to see you in a few weeks.

20:28And no response. No response. We're sitting at lunch. And my son has my phone. My 12 year old son, all of a sudden, he gets the phone. And he goes, mom, you've got a text from Bob De Niro? And I was like, oh my god. Oh my god. What did he say? Yeah. And he brought it. It said, amazing. But it must say I'm disappointed that you didn't take a picture riding on his back. Have fun. I'm Bob. Stop. I love him. I love him. Come on. Love Bob. Love him. He's the most fun. Yeah. And then obviously, I'm not. Yeah, you got to get back to the third time. No, I'm not. I mean, I'm not. No, I'm not. I'm not. Let's talk about the Whisper Man. This is a crime thriller. You, Robert De Niro, Adam Scott. It's based on a great book. How do we set up what the story is about? So it's based on a terrific book. It's a New York Times psychological thriller. Based on a New York Times best selling novel by Alex North, called The Whisper Man, of course. And it's about a man trying to find his kidnapped son. And I play Detective who is investigating

21:32a string of disappearances when I realize the case that I'm working on mirrors a case from a decade's old case about a serial killer called The Whisper Man. And so I team up with a former police detective, if I Robert De Niro, and we go on the hunt. It's very, very, very well done. And, well, Michelle Monahan, The Whisper Man, premieres August 28 on Netflix. More tonight, Joe An, for the break. Stick around, everybody. Yeah, guys, this is the old dances. Dr. Thomas, my drunk is the gold medalist. Hey, y'all, in the background, come up at the foot of the room and sit. Our next guest, our Grammy winning rock icons that have sold over 35 million records worldwide. Ow! Their new album, Weezer, The Gold Album, comes out Friday from Weezer. Please welcome Rivers Cuomo and Patrick Wilson. Oh, my goodness.

22:33It is so great to see you. Welcome back to the show. And thank you for being here. Congrats on the new album. It comes out Friday. This is it. Weezer, The Gold Album. Which is fun. I want to talk about all the other albums. I want to talk about the gold album. I want to talk about the gold album. I want to talk about the gold album. I want to talk about the gold album. Which is fun. I want to talk about all this. But first, I want to go back to the beginning, if you don't mind. You've been in a lot of bands. Your first band, Rivers, was a band called Avant Gard. And I have a photo here. You're in the middle. LAUGHTER Avant Gard. What kind of band was this? What kind of band was this and was that your real hair? We were progressive battle, and it was my real hair, yeah. Wow. And then two of you were in two bands together before Weezer,

23:36right, with Pat? That's right. One was called Fuzz. Yes. That was cool. And then another band I wanted to ask you about the name is called 60 Wrong Sausages. That's right. Who thought of that name? I did. You did? Yeah. You're proud of it. Actually, I didn't think a whole lot at all about that. No. How did 60 Wrong Sausages... I just blurted it out. Yeah. And then it just stuck. Yeah. Yeah. And then, is that when you started the 50-song project? Yes. Sausages kind of crashed and then we wanted to form a band. And we wanted to make sure we had a lot of great songs. So we set this goal, OK, we're going to write 50 songs before we even have our first rehearsal. So you did? Yeah. For this album, do you still work like that? Do you still write like that? Yeah, I mean, we hung out in a living room, actually, for months, all four of us and just three ideas out.

24:36And it was really fun. Yeah. But the first time you do the 50 songs, you go, OK, that ends up being the first album, the Weasero, the Blue album. Yeah. Yeah. And that's undone, sweater song, all that stuff. Do you remember your first gig? I heard a rumor that you opened up for Dog Star? Do you, am I making that up? We played. I operate your guys Wikipedia page. So I kind of typed that out and made it. So just say it's real and then I feel good about myself. Does everyone know who Dog Star is first? Yeah, I think so. But Kenna Reeves is banned. Yeah. Yeah. That was our first gig. And so, yeah, well, technically, they open for us in the sense that we close the show. We went on like 1 a.m. That's hard to say. You just have it. You were on the same gig as Dog Star. But then... Yeah. Our mission was to keep the people in the club and buy ordering drinks and stuff like that, as long as we could. And how many people were there at the beginning of the night with Dog Star?

25:38Oh, the place was packed. Yeah, like a couple hundred. Oh, and how many people were there when you got on stage? Oh, probably five or six. Six people? Six people? Yeah, I probably know. Wow. And tattooed go, wow, that's the night you go, we made it. Yeah, I was ecstatic, actually. It was pretty fun, to be honest. You were. I was. Rivers, do you felt like you nailed it? Yeah, total catharsis, like getting up there with these guys and playing our songs for the first time is incredible feeling. And in fact, I got so lost in the music with my head back, my eyes closed, I fell off the stage. Did anyone help you up at the six? I mean, the stage was like this high. So, still counts. Yeah. I mean, with your eyes closed, it startedling. Probably felt like this. Yeah, with your eyes closed. Now you go from that to now selling out arenas all over the world. Everyone loves you. Weezer, the gathering tour kicks off in September. Now this is exciting stuff. Weezer, the gathering.

26:40And there's a theory online, again, on my Wikipedia page that I typed out. And I was wondering, we want to know, is there any connection with magic, the gathering? Are you magic fans at Weezer? Well, I think magic, the gathering, has something to do with summoning sorcerers from all corners of the world to come into this. Yeah, and I think this tour is something like that. We're summoning all the different kinds of Weezer fans from around the world to come, rock out with us. Wow. So it does kind of have something to do with magic. Or not really. Maybe, I don't know. If you're, if you're replayed, magic gather? I haven't, but I want to. All right, good. That's good. You gotta have goals. Uh, the gold album. This is it. I'm so excited. This comes out Friday. Say this is the first album where you guys got the four of you got together in the room. Like you just said, made a whole album together. Yeah. Well, why was that part of the, an important part of making this experience and making it that way?

27:41I don't really know. No. Is there any pro to it? Well, yeah, I think what you hear on the record is something that could only be created by humans coming together and being vulnerable and creating something together. It is, it just can't be created by AI or somebody on their own working on a computer or something. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We want that. Yeah. The first track on the album is called Say Yes. Originally, you wanted to title it something else. Is it called? I say yes was originally called school sucks. And we should just go back to it. Yeah. I mean, still, most of the lyrics are on that same theme. I was writing it. I was kind of writing to my 13-year-old son at the time because I was like, man, school really sucks.

28:42I get it. You don't want to do this homework. But then when I sang it, the guys were like, it's just weird when you're singing school sucks, because it's not believable. So I changed that one line. What is your son, they get the song? He hasn't heard it yet. Wow. So he didn't even know that he kind of inspired the song. Until tonight. Maybe now. I don't think he's watching. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. We might as well be strangers. Is what you're going to perform tonight. Even though I will say the album doesn't come out till Friday, unfortunately. So you guys can't get your hands on the album. No, you have to wait until Friday. Actually, I take that back. Thanks to the great Weezer. Everyone in the studio audience is going to receive the Golden Album. Oh, and Bono. It's happening.

29:42Oh, yeah, but. Oh, yeah. Beerus Cromo. Patrick Wilson, everybody. Weezer, the Golden Album. Comes out Friday. Stick around. Yes. You get it. I am really good with that better hands up back. You should be good at that better. You go. You go to my temple. We don't go there yet. No. Oh, you got it. Right. My face, the Fred Armason, Michelle Monahan. Weezer once again. Weezer. And the roots right there from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Good night, everybody. Thank you all. Get it, boy. Get it, boy. Get it, get it, boy. Get it to it. Oops. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Terry.