Why Men Need Sports

0:00Welcome to the Carey Appet Show, your place for news, views and values you can trust, and relationship insights you need. Now here's Carey Appet. To be with you friends, we're going to talk about sports. I did a show yesterday. We talked about elite sports and the human and high cost of competitive kids sports. If you didn't listen to that, I would encourage you to tune in. It's sports season. It's the fall or soccer. There's other things going on. There's football. And of course, we're winding down on baseball. My husband happens to be an athletic guy. When we met in Bible school in Europe and we didn't fall in love. That term fall in love was funny to me. We chose to love each other over time. Of course, went to a school in Sweden and then we lived in a castle in England.

1:00I don't know if you know this story, but that's where we met studying the Bible five hours a day. It was great. Great way to start out. I married a couple of years later. Had a 550, 600 people at the church I grew up in. It was such a joy. And to start out that way was so great. But I learned something very quickly about my husband. He loves sports. And he loves to play. He loves to ski. He loves to golf. He'll do whatever he can. He played baseball. He, you know, all this stuff, just like many of you. And he's still to this day does. He loves to see our kids in sports. In fact, he's one of the key reasons our children were really good athletes as he pushed them. But, you know, he did it in a way that was really pleasant. And he's competitive. But he learned from other good coaches that if you want your kid to enjoy sports, you need to have a balanced view of what they're doing. And a realistic view of their skills. And I thought he balanced that really well. So shout out to him, Greg Abbott, way to go. And he's still their biggest fan.

2:01And they know it. And this is one of the reasons why men and women need to train up children, not just to women, not just to men, because the way we manage sports was very different. And I was in sports as well. I'm athletic. And I think that balance was really, really good. It worked in our family. And I ran across an article titled, Why Men Need Sports? You know I jumped on it, because my observation is my husband works hard. He needs to play hard. I don't know if it's that work life balance. It's just that he has something in him that needs some competition and needs to give him a cause bigger than himself. Now as a godly man, and this is most important, you want to be on the team that matters the most, right? You want to have a cause to fight for where you would actually put your life on the line. That's both men and women. And that's what it means to be a believer in Jesus Christ. If you've heard the gospel is life coaching or another addition to your life or just a really good idea or just get across necklace and keep the rest of your life the same.

3:05But yeah, I agree with that. That's not the Christian life. The Christian life is you need to die to yourself. You might die for this cause. Jesus died for you. That's the only way that you can have a transaction with a holy god is to work through that transaction that he did on the cross so that he covered your sins with his blood. Kind of messy. Yep. And that's the Christian life. So to be a follower of Jesus Christ is where you want to have your greatest cause. But there's something else about competition. And this article highlights some of the points I'll bring out as well. It friendly competition allows men to push through challenges to build friendships, engage in something bigger than themselves. And I heartily agree the author of this Walker Larsen says, I play basketball on a horrendously bad team and my men's local wreck league. I love the way he starts out. Losing a game by only seven points is the highlight of our season so far. That is great. So why do we keep coming back week after week only to get pummeled again and again. It almost needs to definition of insanity.

4:06You know, repeating the same action and expecting a different result. But there's something to play here that isn't fully rational, something more elemental than reasonable. The short answer is we love the game. And as men have always inexplicably loved games. There's something written into our nature that longs for the challenge, the competition and the camaraderie of sport. I carry out it would call it a design feature. Yeah. And he talks about competitive plays as it's a peculiar thing. A bunch of grown men playing a game with all the passion and intensity of the life or death conflict. But this phenomenon isn't restricted to my local league. It's played out throughout the world and throughout history. Testifying to an innate tendency in human nature in general and male nature in particular that finds expression in competitive play for all you ladies who are athletic. Don't worry. That includes you too. But I am leaning heavily into male design on this one because we live in a culture that is overfeminized and has emasculated men.

5:07And any chance I get to be on team masculine, I'm going to because masculinity is not toxic. It's a design feature by God for men to provide and protect and be a priest to their family, starting in Genesis when God took the first man and designed him. Took dirt, made the man breath into his nostrils, the breath of life and God and man became a living being. He had a garden to provide and protect for it. The first thing he did to the man was actually give him a job, which is why men need jobs before they pursue a woman, different conversation. But I imagine there was some play going on. If you are living in the garden of Eden before the fall of men, what kind of games could he have done with the elephants and the monkeys? Think about it. Think about it. I mean, he could have ordered them around to do all kinds of things. We just don't know. Do we? We'll find out maybe when we get to heaven. Let me go back. Not quite so far in time. The ancient Greeks invented and engaged in sports, wrestling, racing, hurling the discus,

6:11and they're hardly the only ancient people to do so. The author of this article writes that in Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, the camaraderie, the skill and the strength developed in the games, translate directly to where the battlefield, what occurs in combat is really imitated in the sports in a representation, both practical and artistic. If I could remind you, you may not be a warrior on the battlefield. If you are or have served our nation or other nations in the service, whatever part of military service or first responder, thank you because we're so grateful. But every man listening to me, my brothers, I'm not going to tell you how to be a man, but I will tell you that all men who are followers of Jesus Christ have been invited into a battle. You are on a battlefield and you are protecting your families and you're fighting against an enemy who wants to destroy your very image because as an image bearer, mating God's image, you

7:12are the part of creation with an essence linked to God's image, the enemy hates your gods and worse. When we see it in the culture, the kind of demise on identity that he's assaulted on men and women. And so when a man acts like a man and rises up in the moment, takes responsibility for the area that God's given him, his own little garden, it is a powerful, awesome thing to see. It's part of the glory that the Bible talks about. The glory of God and the glory of man and giving God glory is not about fame, it's not about you being, you know, getting a special kind of honor. It's that it depicts the picture that God wants on display. And so when man even engage in sports and wrestle and fight and do all that stuff, and yes, it could include the trash talking that women don't understand, but men do when they like each other. Anyway, I'm going to go back to this article.

8:13He talks about the ancient Greeks and he says, here we find one of the clues to the significance of sports for men. And I feel I need to say this, if you're not really into sports, this is still for you, because it will give you an appreciation of masculine design because he's talking about this. And you might find it in a chess match or in conquering a computer code. I have such regard for men and male design. However, God gives you your masculine strength and where he has you conquer something or battle something, it's all good. Right now we're talking about sports. So even if you don't play a sport, you can appreciate that it has significance. So this author says we find one of the clues to the significance of sports for men. Sports have long provided an arena in which men could test and fine tune their physical skills, their strength, their resilience, and their courage. So historically this form of quote unquote play filled a role similar to that.

9:15And he says to the play of wild animals. I don't know that I would have made that connection, but hey, this is his, his thought. And it directly prepared the participants for survival. That's true. If you look at some of the battling that took place in some of the sports in eras where young men were consistently called on to defend their people with the literal strength of their arms. Let's play to practical and almost sacred role as the training ground for real life or death scenarios. And those were just around the corner. And if you think about it, go back in time. Yes, indeed, that was true. The very preservation of society depended in part on the boxing ring, the racetrack and the archery range. Who would have thought, but it's true when you look at it, right? If I could just make note of something here, he's talking about how important it is to define to physical skills and resiliency. I'm concerned about young men when I look at them. And I'm, and this is not me putting men down.

10:17This is me feeling very protective and respected masculine design. I don't see the physical nature of men the way I used to. I don't see young men walking with a stride that gives me confidence. They could protect me if something were to occur. I almost feel like I would need to protect them, the hoodie over the eyes, the constant looking down, the constant looking at the phone. There's something really wrong with that picture when it comes to young men. I see older men who look like they have lost the energy and the drive because life has been out of them. I just want to say for both of those pictures, men, I respect you. I'm for you. And if I had the chance, I would tell you how amazing you are. And we need to get that message out to all men. This author going back to some of his thoughts. He says today's sports resemble combat less than those of the past and a smaller percentage of our young men are tasked with the defense of the nation. That's true. Then in many past civilizations still in an analogous way, sports continue to have the potential

11:22to help sustain society. Now you might be surprised by this, but I think it's really true. And he goes on to talk about how it builds masculine virtue. He says, even outside of war, the success of society depends on the mental and physical toughness of its male elements. Let me read that again. The success of society depends on the mental and physical toughness of its male elements. Amen to that. Sports afford men an opportunity for practicing and displaying virtues like resilience, teamwork, commitment, self-sacrifice, and the like, all of which are critical to the proper functioning of society without virtuous men. And he says women too. And I agree society crumbles and collapses. Many a successful businessman, strong father or courageous politician had their first taste of the persistence and leadership critical to their success on the football field or the basketball court when they were young. Sports work on us as much as we work on them.

12:25Isn't that just true? So important, the lessons of sports to not give up, to be a teammate, to lose well with grace, to try again, right? That's all it needs to happen. And there's something about men I've watched with my husband and my sons and other men that I respect is they want to have a confidence that they can with their body do what it would take in a situation, to provide that natural protection or that resilience or just to be able to sustain a good life, hold down a decent job, right? Be able to tackle a bad guy if he were to assault your home. I think every man has that deep desire. And I do believe it's part of the design features that God has placed in men as the providers, the protectors, and the priests. He writes in addition men of the past and men of today seek out certain, quote, male spaces. So true. Masculinity can be fortified and male bonds formed.

13:28Sports are one of those spaces. Men bond best through shared or deals and tests. So true. Consider combat veterans, for example, who develop an exclusive and a diamond hard bond with one another who the shared endurance of pain and peril and fear and exhaustion and loss and well, it's just say at the threat of death, right? Something similar though, of course, to a much lesser degree occurs between the members of a sports team. This is something most men desire in some form or another to be part of a squad or a tribe, a group of men with shared aspirations who stood by one another when things were at their worst. So good. Is this gentleman, does this remind you of a time when you had this experience or does it encourage you to fulfill that longing you're thinking, Hey, I thought at my age,

14:30I shouldn't go and try to do this. But maybe I should go back and golf with the guys. Maybe I should get out there and it won't be perfect, but I'll still have some of that. I think this is a good thing to think about, right? And of course, I'm thinking just because practically speaking, we are taping, you know, the sea hawks now. We're in that season, which by the way, I got a, I got a tea, I got a t-shirt this year for the sea hawks. I have not bought a piece of a peril for it all these years because well, I could always borrow one of my husband's big sweatshirts, right? But I was kind of proud of myself for doing that for the team, but there is something about having that camaraderie and getting together. Listen, I don't love it as much as my husband. I'm just going to be honest. I'm competitive and I enjoy it, but not the way he does. Not the way he does. There's a need to get behind a team. He was the same way with the mariners and he does not waste time. So he tapes these and watches them when he can. But I do not say, why is that important or you shouldn't do that?

15:31You should do more important things. No, my husband reads the Bible for hours and, you know, he, I'm not worried about any of that. He needs to play for all the reasons and he needs to be watching men and it's not just play, is it? Is forming a form of masculinity for those who do it appropriately and have it balanced in their life? Hey, speaking of balance, I need to take a quick break. So I'm going to go ahead and do that now. We come back. We're going to talk more about why men need sports. Do you believe your influence can make a difference? Every day, women of all ages are bringing wisdom, creativity, faith and courage into their homes, workplaces, churches and communities. And that influence is needed now more than ever. The influential women's forum is a national association of godly women committed to amplifying what is good, uniting like-minded women on issues that matter and strengthening each

16:33woman's god-given influence in every area of society. As an IWF member, you'll connect with faith-filled women, gain access to exclusive online and in-person events and discover meaningful opportunities to share valuable ideas and resources. It's time to push back against the negative and dark influences in our culture by shining a brighter light together. Visit influentialwomen'sforum.com to see the insights and encouragement your soul needs and to apply for membership today. That's influentialwomen'sforum.com. The influentialwomen'sforum.com.com. Friends culture may change, but truth does not. Alliance defending freedom stands ready to protect every person's right to live and speak truth. Today, we're facing an unprecedented challenge. We're safer and richer than ever before. But we're living in a culture that has rejected the very foundations upon which our liberty was built. Freedom cannot survive in a culture that is abandoned truth and rejected reality. Alliance is the battle of our generation, wherever human freedom is under attack.

17:38We stand ready to defend it. In courtrooms, legislatures, and the public square, you'll find us on the front lines. This is why Alliance defending freedom exists. ADF's strategic victories will bring lasting change in law and culture and with a coalition of courageous clients, allies, advocates and supporters ADF now has 18 Supreme Court wins. It's a great time to join the coalition. So to find out how you can get involved, go to ADFlegal.org. That's ADFlegal.org. And now back to the carry-out show. We're talking about why men need sports. Not all men are active in sports. Not all men find competition in sports and I find it in other areas. But as a society, we need men who are strong. We need physical toughness. We need resilience. We do not need over feminization of our men. I love what's going on with the military with Secretary Pete Hegseth and how he's leading warriors and he's he's excommunicating weakness and wokeness.

18:42And that's bothering some people who by the way have been very comfortable doing social engineering on our military at a great cost to our society all the way up to the leadership in our nation. And this has been flipped in such a way that it is hard for some people to even endure. But pay attention to who's complaining. It's going to be women who despise strong men. Yes, I just said that. That doesn't include me as you can tell. Or men who are effeminate or people who want to socially engineer with LGBT causes. And that is not happening anymore. And there's a reason for it. Pete Hegseth has a biblical worldview. He understands how God made male and female and how the two were supposed to work. And I so appreciate what he's doing with the military. And he's included other people like Robert Kennedy Jr. who also brings in a masculine virtue of literally physically when you look at him at his age.

19:45He's always people like, wow, you're in such a good shape. Well, it's choices he's making. In fact, the vice president apparently has lost weight. And he blames Robert Kennedy Jr. for basically giving him some guardrails on how that works. Right? And you think what picture is on display here? When a man tells himself no to a piece of cake, side note, or he tells himself no, but he says yes to the things that are virtuous. He builds a safe community. In fact, it's the very thing. It's one of the most important things that women want to see in men. Is there a ability to say no to things that aren't good and say yes to things that are? It's a discipline. It's a virtue. Then you have to do that. And that's one of the reasons why you see a lot of people who are former athletes able to be leaders in other areas of life. They just had to practice the same virtues and discipline. They understand resilience and pain. And someone very near and dear to us said long ago, a very strong man a pastor. He said, you know, you'll only level to you're on the rise to the level of leadership,

20:47to the amount of pain that you can handle, Right? So true. And that's emotional pain or managing other people's pain as a pastor, you have to be able to take on a lot of that and as leaders. So important. So let's get back to a few more of these thoughts. I was talking to you about part of the article where he talked about men seeking out male spaces. Men do need their own space by the way. They need to have their own space just like women do. And they bond through shared or deals and tests. And I talked a little bit about veterans and men needing a squad or a tribe. But just as men desire to have companions at their side, he makes another point that men also desire competitors in front of them. Men love the adrenaline surge associated with conflict, a test of skill, the guts, the grit and the strategy needed to win. Is that why in some movies, my watching with my husband, the bad guy, it always comes down to hand hand combat and always walk out the door. I don't want to see that.

21:48And my husband's like, I need to see that in the game. They're scared. This is such a design feature difference. I just want to know the bad guys and take it out. I don't want to see how that happens. Right. And he's careful what he watches. But listen, there's something about that grit and that gut and just that skill to be able to make sure that you could take care of the bad guy, whatever that is. Men also love to see an unexpected comeback. That Hail Mary pass that finds its mark, the buzzer beater that wins the game. I have to admit, I really like that too. One of my favorite sports, believe it or not, is watching college basketball. Probably because they made me play basketball when I was in high school, but I really love watching that game when it's done well. The NBA not so much. I don't know why. He says we love to witness and pursue greatness and excellence. The excellence embodied by the best athletes. The players who work, who put in the work, stay cool under pressure, take the winning shot and lead their teams to victory. Isn't that true? That's true for all of us, but it's something again in the male psyche, the way men love

22:52to see that victory happen. That's part of what they're hoping happens in a game. In fact, the worst games are where there isn't moments like that, right? Where it's kind of boringing in. There's not a, it's not a high scoring game and you think, no, no, I wanted to see the competition. I want to see the excellence. I want to see players at their best, not just so so. And he says, you know, it's just a game. I agree. But within the confines of the game, we see a fleeting gleam of glory of something bigger than a game. The stirring image of a man rises into his full potential. That's so beautifully written. This is inspiration for the real battles that are fought off the court or the field. And men need that kind of inspiration. Amen to that. In fact, we don't have enough inspiration in the world. And there's a distinctive beauty to be found in someone performing an action that they were clearly born to perform. The musician sweeping an audience away along the coursey music or the stallion, almost

23:57taking flight with speed or the athlete, drawing together all the powers of his body into a single graceful leap. There's a fittingness here, a puzzle piece sliding into place, a harmony humming through the air. You can feel it. You're ready to watch that next game. And then he mentions in part of this article, the joy of the game. And I think that's important. In the end, sports are just play. And sometimes people forget this and treat them as more important than they are. But that doesn't make them meaningless either. Play is part of what makes us human. Play in the sense of activities undertaken purely for their own sake, for the little love of the thing is one of the more humanizing things we can do. We play because the mind and heart are free and we play for the sheer joy of it. And one of the reasons I'm talking about sports and I mentioned this on yesterday's show is that I want to see all children play in the ultra competitive sports system that

24:57has now been created in the high cost of that in time and money is not making that possible for all children. And that is a problem. We need to make sure every child gets to play. Another reason that play should be happening in homes, parents have over scheduled their children. They've included too many things in their life and a child does not have time to have just quiet play and play an imagination, time or critical to a healthy balance of a human being. And so play is one of, I believe by God's design, which is why I was thinking in the first segment, I wonder what Adam did with the animals to create play in the Garden of Eden with all at his disposal. And they all got along, could talk to each other, there was no sin. So can you imagine the games that could have happened there and may have happened there? So the joy of the game is important and playing for the sheer joy of it is actually really special too. This author finishes this article saying play is an engagement with the world and with

25:59others without seeking any concrete gain other than enjoyment. And that's psychologically and spiritually a necessary act. When approached in the right way, and this is a green that we all know, this needs to be in balance, right? When approached in the right way, sports like all true leisure can make us more fully ourselves. And from us in ways that encourage nobility and great hardiness, they're one of the things that make life worth living. Such an excellent article and he brings up other points I didn't bring in here and I've added a few of my own, but this author, I mean, remind you of his name, Walker Larson. And this is in epic times, I'll link you to this article, such a great insight. I could have added so many more things, cheering from the sidelines as a woman for every man listening to me. I want you to have the opportunities to play and to be able to engage with other men and

27:00form that camaraderie that you might be missing. And so think about that in your life. How are you going to do that? What's the play going to look like for you? Even if it is just getting together with other guys watching other men play, I'm fine with that because I think it's good for you too. We need to do that as people. It's time to play friends. And yes, that means football season, of course, right now. And whatever season we might find ourselves in, great to be with you. We'll see you next time. You've been listening to the Carriabit Show. If you'd like to listen again to today's episode or share it with a friend, simply go to the Legacy Institute.com. And remember, the Carriabit Show is made possible by donations from friends like you. And of course, our text deductible. If you'd like to donate today, go to thelegacyinstitute.com or call 425-354-8517. That's thelegacyinstitute.com.