Pretty Little Episode #109

0:00This is a headgun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I've got a pen and paper when I'm out in the world. Darn it. I got inspired to write down some lyrics to a new song I'm working on, but now I can't remember what I was rhyming with the word handsome. Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. People savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates Northbroke Illinois. Handsome child of friends on handsome part. Child of friends on the handsome part. Pretty little episode. Welcome to the handsome pod. If you're feeling pretty, if you're feeling little, this is the place for you. Most are pretty little episodes.

1:00I'm May Martin and that voice was fortune feature. Let's go on. Hey, bud. Hey, bud. I just ran and put on my tinted sunscreen so that I looked a little more presentable. A little glow. Yeah. I love it. You look amazing. Oh, man. The morning, you know, I'm not good in the morning. I know. It's not your favorite time, but it is 10, 20 am. I mean, yeah, I know it's not like 8 a.m. Yeah, yeah, I just flew into North Carolina. Oh, you did? Okay, I'm late last night. So I'm with ginger. Oh, you're with ginger. Of course you are. Yeah, yeah. Say hi. Say hi, mom. Mom? Yeah, that's you. You're my mom. Say hi. Hi. Hi, ginger. Can you hear that? Can you just say hi, mom? Oh, no. Anyway, moving on. Just always say things on cue. You can't predict the timing, but yeah, I'm we're about to go on a little road trip.

2:02She and I. Oh, where are you going? I have shows this weekend in Greenville and Wilmington. So she is going to be road tripping with me. Oh, nice. Are you driving? I will be driving. She has a laundry list of places she wants to go to to buy food to put in her freezer. Oh, great. And is she a good passenger? Like does she get nervous about your driving or is she? She does not get nervous about my driving. She usually feels pretty comfortable. She's not our family. We're not car sick people. Yeah, that's good. Our anxious passengers. Yeah, that's good. Mine is the opposite. She usually just chats or looks at things on her phone. That's nice. No. I'm sure in a car with my family, it's my mom. Every time there's a bump or any kind of movement, she goes like that. And like, it grips the car. And then you got my brother in the back seat going, I feel sick. I feel like a lot of gosh. Yes. And my dad going, I can't see the road.

3:05It's really. It's explosive. And you're not probably the most confident of drivers yet. No. And if I feel like I'm being scrutinized, then I'm worse. It's worse. Because there are moments when I'm by myself, I think I'm ace in this. I feel like you're just going to keep getting better though. It's like anything. Thanks. I think I'm not sure about. Yeah. I happen to be from the south where you learn to drive at 12 years old in the cemetery. Yeah. Yeah. I think I went in the cemetery with my mom. And when I was about 11 or 12, but I hit a, I just nick to gravestone. So you're just always snicking something. Nicking something. Yeah. So did ginger teach you to drive? No, my grandmother did. But also my grandmother did it. Do it willingly. We would go down to the cemetery. She would be tending because old, old Southern ladies would tend to plots, you know, like

4:07so nice. Plant flowers and it was sacred to them. So while she was doing that, I'd help a little bit. And then I would get in her car and just start driving. Just book it. I just, and so she didn't cause a fuss or anything, but it wasn't like she was in the car with me going. Right. I was too. Right. Right. And can you imagine in this day, an age of 12 year old just hitting the guy? Drive me. No, that's crazy. But it was a different time. And none of my, none of my family condoned it. I was doing it on my own. Yeah. Yeah. Uninstinct. Yeah. I just loved being behind a wheel. Yeah. Yeah. And what's the longest road trip you've been on? Um, I've driven across the United States. Um, really? Yeah. When I moved from North Carolina to Los Angeles back in the day, 2003, my mom and I actually

5:10drove across country together. This is bringing back memes. That was a, yeah, yeah, that was an arguing time. Um, yes, she had a sign in the car because American Idol was humongous. And it said, honk if you love Clay Aiken. And that was wildly embarrassing. Oh my God. How have you not mentioned that? Well, because I was living in Spain for the prior year. So I didn't know anything about American Idol or Clay. Because, yeah, because in Spain, their big show was called Operation Drime Fiber. It was a full, and that was a show I was watching. And was that I come back? A toilet show? Yeah, it's just, but on their show, they put all the singers through training like everywhere from press training to gym to singing lessons. And you see all the behind the scenes. That's fun. And they all lived together. Yeah. Romance has started. It was riveting. Yeah. I come back. She's like, it's Clay versus Rubin.

6:12And I'm like, who are you talking about? God Clay. So we had this sign. She was obsessed with Clay Aiken. And I had people honking at me all across the country. And I was like, this is too much. I always wonder about those honk if you love whatever sign. What's the sure thing? My mom is sorry. My mom was asking me for fashion advice. I am recording a podcast right now. She doesn't care. It's cute, mom. You're welcome. Sorry. Oh, and you can keep that in. Yeah, I keep it in. Keep it in. But everything's honky-dory with you. Everything's good. Last night I did a sexy photo shoot. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And we met this painter, this amazing queer painter. And she paints couples in various situations.

7:16And like, yeah, not too crazy explicit, but intimate. And I love her work. Yeah. So close, we're on. Actually, my shirt was off and Parf was in some lingerie. It was crazy. I don't know which photo she's going to choose. She takes the photos and then paints from the photos. Wow. This was a high demand item. Yeah, Halle Torres is her name. All right. And she is new to LA and yeah, paints these incredible things. I'll send you some of her stuff, but so that I can be painted nude. I would love if all three of us could be painted nude together. That would be a hot ticket item too. I would try to hide behind y'all. You'd be a demeer. You'd be like, demeer holding myself. It was like before she arrived, I was super nervous. And I was like, I don't know why we're doing this. And then I had a couple drinks.

8:17And I was like, OK, time you up. It's baked and everything off. It got pretty, it was pretty fun. Well, steamy. Yeah, we're looking for exhibitionists a little bit. You two are good looking people. And you like to be free with your bodies. And I think that's great. Thanks, bud. I feel like we're going to be old one day. And I'll be glad. Yeah, listen. That was a time to enjoy it. Enjoy it. Yeah. If I had one of y'all's bodies, I would definitely be naked a lot. I think you got to be naked. I don't want to be naked now. But I admire those who are of all body types. I admire anyone who's free with it. Let's it all out. Good for them. I think we should do our sexy calendar. Still, I really like that idea. We got to figure that out. Should we get to a question from whoever? Handsome listeners? See what people want to know. Hello, handsome squad.

9:18This is Claire from Minneapolis, Minnesota, currently attending graduate school in middle of nowhere, Iowa. And I want to know from y'all my favorite dinner party question, which is a little probing. This question is, if you were one of the seven deadly sins, which would you be? So they are pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, gluttony, and sloth. Oh, man. I know mine right away. You do? Oh, yeah. Gluttony. Oh, you're keyed in this. You like pleasure. You're like, I like food. It's an adult life. Mainly it's in food. My gluttonous acts are usually based around treats. Yeah. Sweets. Wrong with that. But yeah, when I like something, I also were taking other things too. Gluttony is such a, what a crazy word.

10:19But yeah, I, OK, Thomas sent the list of words. OK. So yeah, and are you, you're a hedonist? You like, yeah, you like pleasure. Wait, that's what a hedonist is? A hedonist is, yeah, someone that like indulges in the things. Yeah. Oh, man, I, this is hard. Because there's, if there's, you'd be lust. What I am is ruminate. Rumination. But that's not on there. But I was like, I don't think I heard that word. Yeah, I know. It's not an option. But that's, it's like I, I'll see, like, I'll sit. And I can't let go with things. Fixate. I fixate, like, I'll, I fixate a little too sometimes. Do you? Yeah, like, I'm still annoyed about something someone said when I was like 24, you know, like, I, I want to say long term. But I'm a, I am very, I get very fixated on when someone

11:19is doing something that is not right. Me to when there's justice. And I feel like there's a person being bad. I don't know if that's the word fair, like unfair. Yeah. And I will ruminate on that. And it will, I'll fixate it until finally, like, I'll, I'll have a pit in my stomach for like a day. And then I'll usually move on. Yeah. That's like, I don't know which of these words is closest to that. Cause that's, I think that's my thing too is like, there are people from my teens and stuff who kind of got away with stuff. And I'm still annoyed about it. I would never do anything about it. But I'm still like those fucking people. And it's not, it's only bothering me. Like they don't, they, they're just living their lives. But injustice. I play the long game. If there's someone that is unfair, yeah. And not doing something right.

12:20I will find a way at some point to make sure that, that justice prevails. I mean, in a way, is that why, is that our whole what drives us like to be successful? Is like, I don't know. So I was able to, that's wrath and I think that's the cancer in me. I'm very sweet. I'm like pretty amenable for a minute, a long, long time. And then you push me to a certain place and those. And I want to necessarily strike back right now. But at some point, 20 years from now, you will see this come to roost. I promise you. I promise you that. Look at me. You will rule the day. I think we're finding out actually wrath is our shared trait. But it's a quiet wrath. Yeah, maybe quiet wrath. Quiet wrath. Yeah, my eyes. But do you, and you, do you feel that like if someone wrong, someone close to you as well?

13:23Um, yeah, I mean, you're like, no, just me. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether my family wants to go hike in or bike in this weekend, missed opportunity. Everyone made plans without me. So now I'm going to have to hike or bike all by my loan. Some. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings. Very so did determined conditions and availability all state, North American insurance company and affiliates North Brook, Illinois. It would have to be like a really good good friend. I'm not going to do anything, you know, crazy, crazy. Or crazy. Or you'll just try. I will just do something where justice prevails. I love that. That's it. Should we hear Clara's answer? Mm-hmm. I reckon I'd be greed. I really like love items.

14:25And I really appreciate a beautiful item. So if I see a beautiful dish or plant or piece of furniture, I am like, I have to have this immediately. And nothing stands between me and my beautiful items. When I moved, I had to rent a 20 foot U-Haul for my one bedroom apartment, which is technically the size for a three bedroom apartment. So yeah, I'd be greed. Thank you so much for your pod. And I'm interested to hear what you say. You know, I do relate to that too, actually, because I once I get into something like cameras, I'm into film cameras and I keep buying them. And I don't need them. Yeah. I don't have the. The. The. It's a big thing as much because I don't really care about things. No, you're good with your money. I like to make money because I want security. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a, because I've watched my family. No offense, mom.

15:27Makes a bad choices. Yeah. Go from having, you know, a comfortable life to like nothing. Yeah. So that has motivated me to save and be and work really hard and be responsible. Yeah. Should we hear another question? Uh-huh. I hand some pod. I love you all. I've been listening since the beginning. Thanks for all the laughs. My name is Shannon. My question is inspired by my toddler who is recently going through a developmental phase where she's suddenly very cautious. We're in some cases afraid of things that she wasn't afraid of before. And it's been really interesting to watch her reason through those and really rewarding in some cases to even see her overcome some of those fears. And it's got me thinking, what is something that you are afraid of that you've overcome? Great question. Great question. Driving for me is a big one. Yeah. A fear that you will overcome. I've overcome this driving. Yeah. As a fear. A fear that we will overcome or have overcome.

16:28Have overcome. Yeah. Okay. Being I was terrified. I don't think I've overcome that though. I'm still pretty terrified. Yeah. I can't ski. It's awful. It's awful. Don't want to partake in that. There's people out of their goddamn minds. If they're skiing. You're flying down. You have to learn when you're a kid or it's tough to like learn that as an adult. Your little legs are going to snap. You're unprotected. Yeah. No. Not for me. Yeah. It's not for me either. There's. You have stage fright when you started to stand up. I did actually. Same. When I was in college, I had, I did a couple of plays and I had terrible stage fright. I was like a deer in headlights. And it was very baffling to me and to others because I was very social and chatty and seemed fearless in life. And then I would step on that stage and it was just like, would you shake? I'm a shaker.

17:29I don't know. I don't think I shook. I had some crazy fear of like forgetting the lines. Yeah. Because the point where like I would have nightmares about being on stage and not knowing what to say. I don't know what that was about. Yeah. And then when I moved to LA and I started improv and then learned how to like dig myself out of a hole. The stage fright completely went away. Yeah. That's good advice for anyone with stage fright is improv classes. Even if you don't want to be an improviser, they're pretty, it's pretty great for confidence. Yeah, because you just learn to trust that your brain will bail you out that you will think of something to say. Even if you don't, the line doesn't come to you. You will make up one. I just kind of got this little toolbox. Oh my God. I just, I'm there. It got so much better. I just had like a physical memory. Oh, really? When I was 14 and they were, they wrote an article in the newspaper about how me and

18:35my two friends kept seeing the second city main stage show. Like it was like, wow, these freakish kids have seen it like 200 times or something. And then so the part of the article was they brought us because they were like, they want to be comedians and how adorable. And then they let us do an improv set on the second city main stage with our heroes. And I, I, I, I didn't, I couldn't say a word. I couldn't, it was like Christmas morning. They go, what's this? Oh, we open the, open the present. What is it? And I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And they're like, okay, it's a puppy. And I was like, okay. Like, I couldn't, I was shaking like this. Oh, God. Sometimes you get in that space and it's hard to pull yourself out of it. Yeah. God. I was like, I'd forgotten English. I had that happen actually. Because this one time is a standup. Oh, and it terrified me. You just went blank. Uh-huh. I was taping my very first late night standup set for code.

19:36And it was, it was on Conan. And they get, and I knew my set, frontwards and backwards. But they said, do you want cue cards? And I said, because I don't get nervous performing standup ever. I only get a little nervous when it's being filmed. I mean, I hate when it's being filmed. Yeah. And I said, you know what? Justin, I've never filmed a late night set. So just in case my nerves happen, yeah, let's get it. Let's get my bullet points on the cue cards. So I start my set and I get my first joke out and it goes good. Yeah. But then something tells me like, let's just glance at the cue card. I'm just going to glance real quick. And the cue card guy is sitting on the ground and the cue cards are on his lap. No. And so I freeze. Because again, we're going back to justice. My brain goes, that guy's not doing his job.

20:39Yeah. Like he's supposed to be doing the thing. We talked, he's not doing it. He's supposed to have your back and he doesn't. He's supposed to have my back. So that's all I'm I'm ruminating all of a sudden about that. So but in life, I'm going, um, um, oh my God. It's probably about 10 seconds, but it felt like three minutes. I'm looking at Conan. I'm looking at Andy. I'm looking at the cue card guy and my brain's going, why isn't he doing anything? Yeah. And so then I sort of stumbled back into my set. Somehow I, I am able to pull it out and I, and they, and I get off stage and the booker comes running over and they're like, oh my God, we're so sorry. We forgot to write cue cards for you. So the cue guy didn't even know my God. I was supposed to have cue cards and they were so apologetic.

21:43And they edited it. It wasn't it was live to an audience. So that was embarrassing, but they edited it so that that was cut. That's so shitty. Your first tape. I've never felt such fear as an adult performer. Yeah. That those moments, your, your nervous system doesn't know the difference between that and like you're about to be executed by firing squad. It's like you are staring down the barrel of like that is pure horror. Your stomach just drops. Oh, oh, man. Should we hear Shannon's answer? Yeah, let's do it. For me, I used to be really afraid of roller coasters as a kid. I always wanted to go on them, but I would try and I would come off the other side crying because I would be so freaked out. And then one summer I went to Disneyland with some friends. I was around 12 and peer pressure got the better of me. And I realized if I just relaxed and let go, that was actually quite fun. And now I love roller coasters. I love thrill rides.

22:43So I'm super happy that I face that fear. Okay, can't wait to hear your answers. Love you. Thanks, Shannon. I, I, I don't necessarily love roller coasters myself and used to be pretty fearful of them, but as an adult, I have sort of forced myself to do them. Yeah, because especially like with big groups of friends. So I just sort of give into the roller coaster. Yeah. I'm just really loving it. Fluffing around. And I, yeah, I'm not, we had to, I filmed something where we had to be on a roller coaster and we did it twice in the whole time. I'm just like holding the person's hand next to me. It's like, oh God, oh God. Do you feel like nauseous after? And I'm not after, but my stomach drops during. Yeah, it's the, I don't mind the GTDs. Yeah, it's the drop. Sam killed me. The drops kill my stomach.

23:44Again, I'll say it again, people are out of their goddamn mind. You're not meant to be doing this with their bodies. I don't mind a roller coaster though. Well, thank you so much for another lovely little chat portion. Well, thank you, my friend. It was lovely indeed. And thanks to everyone who sent in your questions, keep sending them. You can submit your question and advice requests to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod. And we love to hear from you. What do you got coming up? I'm doing a bunch of shows. I just added some in Jacksonville and for a Lauderdale, Florida, Morgan to North Carolina, San Luis Obispo, and then I have a bunch of shows in like Dayton and Madison and Durham, a bunch of stuff. And yeah, fortunefroentor.com for tickets. I am actually tomorrow night, September 19th. I'm at UCB in LA with my friends Matt and Alana doing improv, but you can live stream it

24:48from anywhere in the world. And that's, I would love that if people did that. Once I think you get to keep the link for like a week so you can watch it at a later time, but go to the UCB website or my social media. And then yeah, watch us do an hour of weird improv. That would be great. Let me know where you're watching from. Yeah. And until next time, keep it. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a lot of podcasts. What a lot of podcasts. That was a hit gun podcast.