Pretty Little Episode #110

0:00This is a headgun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I packed my de puffer before going on a long trip out of town, I'm dejected. Now, I'm three time zones from home with a face like a marshmallow and nothing to fix it. I didn't know I could miss a robot. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Financial savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. All state, North American insurance company and affiliates. Northbrook Illinois. Handsome child, friends on handsome part. Child and the friends on the handsome part. Pretty little episode. Welcome to the pretty little episode of Handsome. I'm FortuneFemeser. And I am Tignotaro. I'm your co-host. Yeah, you are.

1:00Yeah. Co-hosting. Yes. I'm in Iowa. Iowa. Do you want to stand up? No, just vacationing. You didn't know to take me seriously or because it seemed like two weeks ago. Yeah, I never know. Yeah. The boys might have a hand cream together or even myself. I would think. I like you. I like small towns, minor markets, even to vacation in. There you go. But I am doing shows. Nice. Yes. And last night I did Iowa City, which was my first time back to the road after I was sick in 2012. And so it holds a really special place in my yard. Yeah. That's cool. I've been back. I was backstage in 2013 because I took a year off of the road to recover.

2:10And I remember waiting backstage in Iowa City at the theater. It had sold out. And I was thinking, OK, I have a new fan base. I was feeling insecure. Like, oh, if people have come to me from having had cancer, I don't have anything dark or, you know, I was just feeling insecure. And then I thought, you know what, I just have to trust that if people like me, they're going to like me without cancer or dark material. And I went out on stage and they were just the most awesome audience. And so to this day, I just had to go. I just sing Iowa City's praises. I love it. Yeah. So it's always nice to come back and always nice to remind the audiences there of that experience. Yeah. So yeah, it was a fun show.

3:10And yeah, so that's that. How are you? I'm good. I'm just away for two weeks. And I just walked in my door a couple hours ago before I have to wake up early and head back out again tomorrow for three nights of shows where you headed. I'm headed to Boise, Portland, Oregon and Austin, Texas. I mean, could you get any better with those cities? I know. There's some great cities. I'm doing five shows. Yeah. So it's a big weekend. I've been traveling all over. I feel like I've lived five lives in the last two weeks. Yeah. Just going from I had a bunch of shows and then visiting my mom and then my friends 50th birthday. Then I went to the US Open. I visited another friend. It's just been like so many things. Wow. And how is the US Open? Really cool. I had never been before. But I loved tennis.

4:14I played my whole life and I played in college and I took I got opportunity to go and I took my brother. He's a big tennis player and fan as well. Nice. So we saw Coco Gough play and she's incredible. That was the big match of that day. And it was great. I got to try their little honeydews drink. This is a vodka lemonade drink. So I got. Was that tasty? It was a tasty treat on a hot day. Did you get a day drunk? I think it drunk but I enjoyed. I enjoyed myself one in the afternoon and one in the evening because we stayed all day and watched tennis. And did your brother have fun? He had one as well. Yeah. It's like their signature drink of the tournament now. So we wanted to see what all the fuss was about. And is it worth the hype? Is it? The drink is worth the hype. It is very good.

5:14It's especially because it's so hot there still. And so it definitely feels very refreshing. But one thing that was not worth the hype, someone let me try. They sell these little packs of chicken nuggets and it has caviar and creme fresh and these little different things you can put on the nugget and it's like all the rage. But it's expensive because of the caviar and I was going to for the gram as they call it by one to try it. But my neighbor friend, this very lovely gentleman said here, have one of mine. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sitting next to you in a sweet over. Uh-oh, I just was like, hey, let me know if those are any good. I might get one tonight. And he was like, here, have one of these. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't want to take your nugs. I'll get my own nugs. Sure. And then he was like, no one insists.

6:15And I'm kind of glad he did that because I had it. And I was like, eh, no, it's a hype. And what are we talking when you say it's expensive? What are 100 bucks for a little pack of, it's because of the caviar. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And how much would that be if you weren't at the US Open? Would you imagine? Oh, I mean, caviar, a little 10 of it would probably still be about 40 bucks. Mm-hmm. And then, you know, you're also paying to watch tennis while you're paying to watch tennis. You're paying extra because it's in a cute little box. What did the box look like? It's a cute little orange box. You know, like, girl, tell me I don't. You're a pretty girl. Sometimes they have like a sushi box to go at certain places where there's little compartments. Yeah. It's like that. So you're paying for the cuteness. Yeah, which I'm happy to do. Oh, I know you love it. And you're paying for a, a, a Graham, um, content situation, you know what I mean?

7:20Oh, Instagram. Okay. Yeah, that's what the, that's what they call it, the Graham. Now, if, girl. Do you really call it the Graham? Are you just being silly right now? I'm being silly. I don't call the Graham. Okay. People call it the Graham. Okay. All right. And I used to maybe five years ago. And then it's, we're certain. It comes back around and it's just Instagram now. I think so. Okay. Yeah. Things go in and out of style, my friend. Yeah, but you know what? We never go out of style. We never go out of style. She's good. You and me. Yeah. You know, I, um, I don't listen to our show. I'm going to just come out and tell you I don't listen to handsome. But sometimes if Thomas flags, like people are loving this episode or, yeah, we're getting a lot of comments. So this is really funny.

8:21There have been a few times where I'm like, you know what? I'm on the road. I'm going to listen. I have to say, he listened to the John Love It episode. And I had myself a good little cackel. Oh, yeah. Okay. Which one was that? That was, was that go to you, Hall? Yeah. And unfortunately getting a little tipsy. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I was in Providence, too. And then I went a little further and I listened to the John Ross Bowie episode. Wow. I listened to two handsome episodes back to back. And I was like, you know what? Our listeners are onto something. They're onto something. Yeah. It's a listen to not to nonsense. It's entertaining. Right. But it is nonsense. Um, I mean, there's hard in there. Yeah. And it is interesting. Like, you know, we've talked about having chemistry.

9:24And it is interesting to listen to that. Yeah. And it's, it's kind of, I hate to sit here on my own show and talk about it. We are. We're good. Well, no, it's like, it's beyond me. I'm talking about us as a whole. The record of the week. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about you, but I'm not excited to see myself and things. I'm not excited to hear my comedy. But I think that there's something, you know, this is not something somebody else wrote for us to do. Right. It's not our standup that we're doing on repeat night after night on tour. Yeah. Sorry listeners. If you think we're making it up each night for a new, it's not true. Um, anyway, so it, there was just, you know, reflecting on it. Like, wow, we do have a, a good show and we have a good thing going on. So I hope we make it to April is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I, I, I suggest if you have some time, uh, throw in an episode and, you know, I should.

10:30And when I'm on the road, I'm going to download an episode and check it out myself. Because sometimes you're, like you said, I don't, I don't ever like watching myself for listening to myself. Yeah. Because I'll be like, Oh, in my own head, I sound better. Yeah. Oh, funnier. Yeah, yeah. What I'm currently listening to. Right. Yeah. I just, I was, I, I, it's probably been over a year since I listened to an episode and I was just once again, pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Um, like, wow, that is fun. Look at us. Anyway, enough patting ourselves on the back or me patting all of our backs. I'll take it. Taking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance, not checking that I packed my hiking shoes before going on the longest hike of my life. Now I'm 10 miles into the trail and a pair of flip flops and my feet are filing a formal complaint. Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check all state first for an auto quote.

11:32It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. state, North American insurance company and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois. Let's get this some questions. Yeah, let's do it. Hello, handsome's. My name is Lisa and I'm calling from the Berkshire's and Massachusetts. And I have the most amazing lesbian couple living right next door to me in my apartment building. They're funny, they're kind, they're interesting, they're just all around wonderful people and wonderful neighbors. And I affectionately refer to them as my gaibers. So my question to you is if you could choose anyone dead or alive to be your gaybers, who would they be and why? Interesting. I do love a nice gay bar. I do love a nice gay bar. Won't you be my gay bar? Hey, gay bar. It depends on which direction you want to go right because you could live next door to some handy lesbians that are just like they're there when you need to help with something,

12:38when they, you know, if you need a powered tool, if you need someone to check on your property, they're the protectors, you know, they're going to have a tool belt on, yeah, they're the givers, the helpers. Yeah. Now on the flip side of that, sometimes it's fun to have a gay man couple because they're coming over with some fresh pasta. I mean, this isn't happening to me, but I'm just assuming. Yeah. They're, you know, they're to offer some decorating advice. Lesbians don't bring over fresh pasta. No, bring over leftovers. That's right. Yeah. You're eating some paddye from the night before. If not from a couple of nights or the, the gays are, I invite you over for a Manhattan. Yeah. You know, it's just, it depends on what vibe you want. And Truby told, I love both vibes. So I'm trying to think of a couple that I would be stoked to live beside.

13:46Here's the thing. It sounds nice. But then it's also like gay or straight. I don't know if I need the pressure of somebody that I know living next door. You know what I mean? Because then it's like, we should probably have them over for dinner or we should go up. Here they kind of stand out and say, hi. I like being a little in, I mean, I'm very close and friendly with my, when I say very close, I'm deeply friendly with all of our neighbors. Yeah. We are none of them are gay unless it's secretive. But I love our relationships. We're all very friendly. We help each other out. We leave food at each other's doors and it's just really nice. All that's nice. Yeah. When my house seemed to be on fire recently, they all got together and sprayed it down. It was really incredible. Well, we need one of them to be gay.

14:49Sorry. Okay. I will say during the pandemic, we spent some time in Palm Springs and my friend Paige, Herwoods, had a house down there. Yeah. And we were only like four houses down from her. And that was pretty great because we would go over there for a barbecue. She was making the good time. Paige is a good time and she was manning the grill and she was manning the grill. She was making some delicious burgers, some veggies. And so she, no leftovers there. It was all fresh. So she was doing a great job hosting. And I think you'd tell about having a friend or a gayer who, you hang when you both want to but you're not pressuring each other, showing up at each other's door, unannounced all the time.

15:54You had a good, there was a good give and take there. Yeah. And also in Palm Springs, there's these two lovely gay men, I'm Kitten Kevin, who are the most magnificent host and they would be fun to be neighbors with because they make amazing Manhattan's and they would invite me over and have all my favorite junk food from different fast food places for me knowing that I lost trash food. Yeah. And I appreciated that they were so thoughtful. Yes. And then I had this amazing Manhattan with extra chairs to wash it down. And so I, and their house is stunning and the kind of place you want to hang out in because it's just like everything is beautiful, an amazing cozy fireplace, everything's pristine. That's a fun vibe too.

16:55So both hangs, I could use either of them as gayers. Okay. I know who I want next door. Okay. They're not a romantic couple. Okay. Can I break a rule? You can do whatever you want. I'm just going to throw the Indigo Girls next door. Oh, okay. And then I get their music coming over. I feel like I could be like Emily, Amy, you guys need to back off. You're trying to like come hang out at my house all the time. Just give me little space. Yeah. I am. Sing your songs and then, you know, leave me be. And just, well, not leave me be, but like they're really, leave me be. No, it's just, it's just that they're trying too hard to hang out all the time. Right. And what are busy? They tore a lot. I know, but they still find time to always be coming. I know, but they're still finding ways to come over to my house when we're trying to go to bed or something. And I'm just like, guys,

17:57and they're nightgowns. And they're nightgowns. I'm in mine. Yeah. So I think that's who I would, yeah. Like, I feel like between the two of them, somebody's handy, somebody can make some food, somebody can sing me a song. You know, I had lunch with Emily a couple months ago and she was the light full company. Isn't she? Yeah. Why isn't Amy taking us to lunch? How the job might be neighbors? You can work on that. I'm going to have them over for lunch. You know, yes. But they can't stay all night playing. No. Like they have to go home and sing from their house that they live in together. That's right. Yeah. And she, she we hear Lisa's answer. We should. Okay. Big shout out to Vanessa and Carrie, my own personal dreamgabers who also love you all.

18:57And thank you for keeping it handsome and keeping us all laughing. Love you. Oh. Is Lisa gay? This is what I can't figure out. I doesn't sound like it to me. But I kind of sounds like she's gay. I don't think so. I got the vibe that Lisa was appreciating her gay neighbors. No, I get that. I'm just saying she sounds gay. Maybe we've just rubbed off on her so when she called. She's rubbing off on our listeners. I guess so. Fortune Marie. All right. What's our next question? I got a rubble on something. I'm all right. Oh girl girl girl. Girl. Hi, this is Alex. I'm calling speaking, I guess, from Orange County, Southern California. And my question is if we see one of you guys out in the wild and we can't contain our excitement and we don't want to be annoying and like come up to and ruin your day but we want to acknowledge our fandom. Like what are you okay with us yelling at you from across the street?

19:58Is it anything? Is it just keep it hands in? Like what are the rules for us to get like a cool little finger guns and just to acknowledge that we're obsessed with you but to not be weird obsessed? Okay, thanks so much. Love you guys. Oh my god, that's so funny. That's such a good, funny question. I think it really depends on who you're encountering because we all three have a very different approach. I know there's a small medium and large in the response. What would you say for yourself, Tig? Well, you know, not to go into my standup but I had a story about a guy that I passed on a travelator at the airport where when we were facing each other coming towards each other, he was like, yo, Tig, what's up? And in that moment I thought, wow, I really like that. Yeah, because it just, like he's not going to say hi to me

20:59if he doesn't like me, you know? And then there's people that yell, keep a handsome, I like that too. Or if somebody just casually will be like, oh, I love your stuff, you know? Those are my favorite interactions. Brief and keeping it moving and then I appreciate it even more. Right. Just no bare hugging you or breaking your ribs or anything like that. Or grabbing me. No grabbing Tig. Yeah, sometimes you grab me and it's startling. Yeah. You have a, you have a, you have a little bit more boundaries than me. Yeah. Yeah. May has no boundaries. None. That's something that's small in the middle. Yeah, your media. May you can go up and I feel like you can go home with. Yes. You can do a lot with me. Just no coconut lotion. Yeah, no coconut anything. No coconut anything, but definitely not start all May with lotion in your hands.

21:59No, that not that. But everything else is pretty much a go. Yeah. I'm in the middle of like, I'm pretty open as long as it's not like too insane. And I try to be mindful if I'm with people so that they're not having to stop every two seconds. Well, yeah, and that's the other thing is when I'm with my family or my kids especially, I don't like things to get weird. Yeah. Well, it's confusing to them. Yeah. I always appreciate it. I mean, you was open. I had several people, you know, keep a handsome or love the paw. They'll reference something funny from the paw that always gives me a chuckle because I never know what thing people are going to pull from an episode. And do you remember it when they mentioned it? Half and a half. I'm a lot of stream of conscious on this spot. I know, it's so funny.

23:01So I remember the like, obviously the things that we reference that come back. Yeah. I remember, but if it's like a very random like one time combo, maybe not. But I think it's so fun when you see men and women, yeah, I'll keep a handsome. I think that's such a treat. Like, it's such a fun nod to the podcast and. And ladies. Yeah, pretty little ladies and ladies and people sometimes they'll yell like pineapple apart or peanut butter bitch. I've been getting peanut butter bitch lately or some about games. And those always tickle me. I love it shows that when people have different merch shirts, I'm always pointing at those. I love to see those in person. Yeah, I'm often, I mean, with us being on the road a lot, we're often going through airports. And I have five people or take pictures.

24:03Do all that stuff. So yeah, just whatever Alex, you, moves you in the moment in that world, give it to us a little, keep a handsome. Let's do it. Well, there we go. I really went. There we went. There we went. There we went. Another fun. A couple of questions for our listeners. I never know what they're going to ask and it always, it's fun to see what road we're going to. It's always, yeah, it's like always having to think and examine yourself, your feeling, stuff you would never, ever think about. Yeah. And it's so, so fun. And we never know what we're being asked ahead of time. So it's just pulling it right out of our little non-cons. From when you listen back.

25:04Well, if you guys have any questions or advice that you would like to throw our way, you can go to speakpipe.com slash HansonPod. And you might end up on one of our pre-lepiscodes. And until next time, keep it. Pretty handsome. Hansom is hosted by me, Tignotaro. May Martin and Fortune Theemester. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at HansomPod at gmail.com. Follow us on social media at HansomPod. What a podcast. That was a hit gun podcast. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on current trends. Not checking that I have my soundboard plugged in before I record the podcast. Want, want. Sure, I can record the podcast without using sound effects. But it's a missed opportunity when I can't feel a long pause with cricket sounds.

26:07Yeah, checking first is Hansom. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability, all state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbroke Illinois.