She Needs To Divorce Him | Financial Audit

0:00This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up require compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. So good, so good, so good. Nordstrom Rack is celebrating 125 years of Nordstrom with 125 of the best deals up to 65% off in stores and online. They're only here while supplies last. So shop today. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. To watch episodes of Financial Auditor Week earlier, check us out on YouTube. I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse. Screaming, throwing things at children, banging things around, making holes in the wall. That is not okay. My kids have definitely suffered a lot.

1:01And you're fully acknowledged right now that you abuse her. If yelling and throwing stuff, yeah. We don't f*** around with kids. Yes, sir. I try not to. Yes, sir. F*** you, yes, sir. Don't, yes, sir, me, you pathetic rat. Leave him. Leave him. I'm just sick of wondering where your money is going. That ends today. The new dollar wise is live on your phone and now on the web as well. And to celebrate the web launch, we're giving you 20% off. 12 months of dollar wise, normally 99.99 for only 79.99. Bell and competitive, the referral games are live. Refer friends, earn real money and maybe win a trip to visit me here in the studio. But hurry, this deal won't last forever. Click the link in the description below and see the new dollar wise for yourself. I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Audit right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down

2:05to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelapamber.com slash apply or click that link in the description below. Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm 26. I'm Michael. I'm 26, somewhere from St. Mary's County, Maryland. And this is financial audit. Thanks for coming down Austin, guys. Really nice to meet you. Jamie, as always, starting with the one in front of me. What do you do for a living up there? I am a medical assistant. Sure. What are you assisting? I work in primary care currently. Okay. Well, probably not as much money. But let's say, I don't know. What do you make? I make 19 an hour. Yeah, not as much money. Um, okay. Honestly, St. Mary County, I have no idea the cost of living in St. Mary's County. I don't know where it is. Maryland, sure. I mean, in general, Northeast does tend to be more expensive. So I'll go off of that, making that 19 a little harder. The 19 down here, you know, it wouldn't be the end of the world. How many hours a week are you working? 40. So it's your account per paycheck. What's that per paycheck basis? That's a little complicated, currently.

3:06Is it? Yeah, it's very complicated. So technically, it should be about 24 months. But currently, I had a credit card, garnished my wages. So I'm missing about 800 a month out of that paycheck. Okay, so what do you make a month then? So what has the account now is what, 850 plus 850? Whatever that is. 16 something, 17. Like 17 on her? 17 on her? Yeah. 17 on her? Yeah, 18 times. Well, that's not enough to live on. No. Are you guys married? No. No, we are not. What's the status? What are you engaged? Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. quarry. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Ab�도. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.

4:06Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged. Engaging. But okay, okay, what do you make out on a monthly basis? Nat. Um, if it was like 3400 a month from my fried cook job. And then okay, so you're as big as no sense. 19 hours, times 40 times 52. By the way, 12, I don't see this as pre-tax. No, you're not getting taxed at 50%. I also get my insurance and all that kind of stuff comes on my paycheck as well. Does it add up to 50%? I am I sure you know your take on pay? Yes, 19 an hour. No, it's take. That's not your take on pay. Like that's actually the stupidest answer I know. You're not your take on pay. 19 an hour. Come on. So, okay. So what's your, so why is your account monthly with everything combined? What would do the var or move on? Your two jobs, Michael.

5:08Uh, 40, 400. You're wrong. No, it would be 42 hundred, sorry. It's two hundred. You're wrong. You have to be wrong. You want me to pull up my stuff, my pay stuff? Yeah, actually. Cool. That might be good. Are you hyper inflating? I mean, no, I make 28 an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Hold that next one since. I actually have his recent pay subs too. If that would help in my email. Okay. Yeah, pull it up. Um, pay review. Okay. You make some of the weirdest sounds I ever do. Sorry. It was like every five seconds. And there's another one. What do you do? Do you exist? Why? I think so. I think I'm just a heavy breather. Even our roommate Adam always says I'm a heavy breather. He thinks I'm sleeping. He thinks I'm sleeping.

6:09Adam? That's our roommate. How the fuck would I know your roommate's name? Oh, that's just fake name. Sorry. I didn't mean that. How would I even know you have a roommate? No sarcasm, no joking. Fuck the fans. Thank you. Sorry. I was just trying to say something about it. Well, I'm breathing or making weird noises. You're just expecting me to know what I'm doing. I'm just going to be like, you know what I'm doing. I'm just going to be like, you know what I'm doing. I'm just going to be like, you know what I'm doing. I'm just going to be like, you know what I'm doing. You're just expecting me to know you live with someone or who you live with? No, no. I was just trying to explain or her. No, it's talking to you. It's talking to me. It's talking to me. It's talking to me. You asked why make weird noises. Would you tell them you have someone with no context? I would not understand who you're talking about. I mean that's true. Shall I speak to people? That's crazy. That blows my mind. Yeah, your paycheck is I'm sorry. I apologize. Hopefully it broke so I can get you a better phone because that one's a piece of shit. Yeah, she makes that much money. Yeah, you must have insane premiums or something

7:10on your health insurance. Okay, guys. So your household income is much better because of him, kind of strong, but he's working his ass off. Yeah. That's why he's probably a little loopy and he just starts talking to me like five sentences ahead. He doesn't get much sleep at all. Yeah, probably because he can't breathe. $5,900 is what you guys take home on a monthly basis. What's going on? What are we talking about? A lot. I mean, this is it at this point. It's either. This is it. Yeah. Either way. Both of you are just, or just you. If we don't fix whatever we got going on financially and like relationship wise, it's over again. Again. Yeah. Okay, now you're saying this. Are we both aligned with the on the edge, teetering on the edge? Or is this just a you thing? You know, I can agree with it'll probably be the breaking point if we can't figure this out and we'll probably end up splitting again. Again, when did you guys split the first time?

8:122024. Chichi didn't want me. Oh my, oh my goodness, financial out of Iseport. Okay, this is like literally cheating out of Iseport. You guys, what is with this show, man? We'll get into that at some point. Stop sniffing like a freak dude. Sorry. Luckily for you guys, we probably cut it out. But whoo, it's bad in here. So what's going on? And now we'll get back to 2024, but how are we at a breaking point? Now give me a picture of what is happening. What's going on? I'm at my breaking point currently. Okay. Wasn't engaged couple. That's not great. The here is a buddy. No, not at all. Okay. What's going on? No, he does not have the best handle on his emotions. Okay. Well, turn it with you. I get angry. The alpha is angry and you don't want to see that. Very angry. We all get angry. Yes, yes we do. What you choose to do with your anger is something completely different. Yes. What do you do when you're angry?

9:12Yell or throw things or break things? Break things, throw things. We've gone through multiple dog food bins because he likes to kick the dog food bin and break it. We have. Yeah, first of all, that's a weird thing to be just like automatically attracted to an anger. Well, it's also dirt when he's eating the animals too. So he just kicks it. I don't like you get angry feeding the animals doing a chore. Yes. This is what pushes them over the edge. What is wrong with you? Everything. But it's just with five kittens when you try to go into the... Why do you have so many kittens? That's not even necessarily good. Oh, no, it's not good. We took in a stray probably like in April. During that time in Maryland, it would get like to 20, 30 degrees a night and the cat was skinnaboo. What's it? It was February. No, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. When the... Oh, yeah. When Wayne took Bean and we had her for a couple of months. Yeah. And we had her for a couple months. So I got you to the vet.

10:13The vet said, oh shit, she's pregnant. Yeah. Okay, okay. Anyways. Well, what's triggering you? A triggering you around this house specifically. Any little inconvenience to be yourself? Any small thing. Well, I mean, you do work six hours a week. I'm not saying your reaction's healthy, but I can see you... I mean, you probably... You mean you got less sleep. Okay, I got that. So... But it's what you do with it. What happens in the house just kicking the bin? No, we have holes in the doors. He's kicked the doors. Horses. Smaller shovels. Smaller hole. Did you not a 12-year-old kid go through puberty? Yeah. Well, I'm still emotionally like that, unfortunately right now. You're 26. Yes. I act like it. Grow the... I'm gonna say you can't make mistakes in life. We all do throughout all of life. But we're not kicking and putting holes in walls. How long have you guys been together? Going on nine years. What the... Okay, well, well, you guys got together. Very young. And not even concluding marriage, but I guess I'm not surprised.

11:15Why would you tie the knot? Getting with someone you're seeing essentially. Like, and kind of like a kind of a dangerous household. Yeah. And so given his, you know, what's going on emotionally? How he's... Has a very short fuse. I normally take the kids. I'll do most of the life. There are kids. Did I miss that? Yes, I guess so. I guess so. We have two. You're putting holes around the house when there's... Kids. I think it was... I think it was... ...kins when there's kids. I did that before we had kids. But I have done it times. Is he doing it while you have kids? I have done it. Did you're a freak? Okay. What... What is he raised his voice to? How loud does it get? For these kids of four-year-old, they have memories now. Yeah, he can get pretty loud. Our latest argument I think was when we were cleaning. And it's just a little shit. Like, our daughter, she's four. She's still learning to clean up after herself. She's still learning to like, you know, how to organize and do things.

12:15So he gets very irritated that she doesn't know how to do that yet. And she shuts down because we are in the process of trying to get her diagnosis of being like on the spectrum. But we're not... We're waiting on a doctor's appointment for that. Anyways, besides the point, but he is very angry that she does not pick up. How does he act towards the kid? At first, you're very calm, but after a certain point, it escalates too. Too. Yelling and... At the kid? Yes. No. Yeah. After what's her appointment? No, no, no. After a reason past that, after what's her appointment? Maybe like three times of asking her to pick something up? Yeah. What's that sound? The four-year-old. Yes. Yes. Diagnosed autism? Not yet. Not yet. Working on a doctor's appointment. We're pretty sure she does, yeah. We'll see. Okay. But she was referred from her pediatricians to the autism center. What's yelling at the kid? Yes.

13:16Like just like... What's yelling at the kid? Like, you need to pick up your things. Like, pick this up, put in the bin. And... What's screaming? Yes. She'll start crying and she'll shut down. You're... Yes, it's a four-year-old. What the fuck are you thinking? Mm-hmm. What is wrong with you? I don't really think at the time when I'm doing it. I just mad. What? How frequently? On a weekly basis. Okay, you don't think, but a half is every... And we do. Yeah. This is a kid. We don't fuck around with kids. Yes, sir. I try not to. Yes, sir. You, yes, sir. You're out there literally doing it on a weekly basis. Yes, sir. You pathetic rat. Worm. Freak. What are you talking about? You do this on a daily basis. Don't show up here. And yes, sir. Me. You're screaming at the fuck kid. What is wrong with you? Trying to look good. Yes, sir. You. This is a child. We don't fuck with kids. If it's another adult, maybe. Okay, we can talk about it. This is a kid you're screaming at.

14:17On a weekly basis. And it's throwing things. Tell me about the throwing things. Good. Um, he likes to throw like... Which he's not picking up her toys. He'll just throw them back in the bins. Oh, she's there. Yeah. And just start cleaning up that way. The flames on him 100%. But I do have to put a little play menu for a second. Why'd you produce another one with this? When that's happening. Because these kids don't consent to the coming of the world. I have to ask this. And then I'll lay into him. Trust me. Why do we bring another one? The second one was not planned. It was an accident. Were you having sex unprotected? Yes, sir. Were you on birth control? No. Go f*** yourself then. Do you know how biology works? Yeah, I'm an okay. So shut up on planned. You're doing everything it takes to do it. And how frequently is he throwing things? Uh, we go through this pretty much every week when we clean up the house. He's f***ing sick.

15:18So what happens between you two in this situation? Um, normally just like the child's, the children, I mean, the child's not a word. I end up shutting down as well just because I can't, I do not... You're not protecting them? I try to. How? I normally end up taking the kids and trying to calm them down at the same time. Where do you take them? We're still in the same house. Okay. Because we don't have any other place to take them or I'll try to calm her down or I'll take over cleaning and tell him like, hey, just go do whatever. I got it. It's fine. I'll take care of it and then I'll end up getting our daughter like, you know, I'll set her up on the couch or something and put on one of her favorite TV shows. And then I'll just finish cleaning up the mess. When was the last time there was a meltdown? When we had our argument? No way. Yeah. Which was like the week before we came here. Yeah. So a week ago, what happened then?

16:19The big argument was in front of the kids was he was getting very angry throwing things and just being like passive aggressive and not obnoxious. That's the week ago. Yeah. Oh, me, man. Well, I guess that lines up with every week. What triggered him? I was sitting on the couch trying to, you know, I was about to get up and clean and he got angry that I wasn't doing anything and helping him. Okay. Potential reasonable to be upset at. Now what you do next either becomes reasonable or unreasonable. Continue. But, you know, as the way that I grew up going back to a little bit there, it was a very, it was a very, not a very good upbringing at all. So I shut down when he gets very angry. Okay. And it calls me a lot of anxiety. No, I get that. That part's fine. But you weren't cleaning. What did he do? That's what I want to know. Then we start. I understand you shut down. But what did he do to make you shut down?

17:19He starts when he starts cleaning. Like instantly, when he starts cleaning, it's very passive aggressive and throwing things and being annoyed. What's the passive aggressive? Like what's he doing? Give me a second. I'm throwing the toys back in the bins, walking around, stomping his feet. You're like toy bins. And you're cleaning. Why aren't you just picking up to your dad with kids? Why aren't you just picking up? Why are you stopping around throwing shit? I have no excuse for it. I just get angry and that's just what I do. Why though? Why is that your reaction? Why are you so upset at it? Because it irritates me. Because whenever I'd get off, so I worked my second job Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And I try, while she was on, returning to leave, well, unpaid, returning to leave. I would get home Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. And before I would go to my second job, I would try my best to help pick up the house and get all of her toys that she had left everywhere. I'd pick them up, put them in the bin, and then when I would get home, at like between 12 or 1, the house would look like a bomb had went off again.

18:25But mind you at the same time though, I had a C-section. So I couldn't physically get up and clean as much as I would used to be able to. And that's why I would get angry whenever I would try to get our daughter to clean, or not clean, but like pick up her toys. Like when she's done playing with her little kid. Yes, let's take that. And then back in there, right? But do you weep below the cup when they don't? I do. You do once a week at a minimum. It got to the point to where when we had our first baby. For your old, yeah. She, his mother took her for a good part of her life because his mom was when 2022. Yeah, his mom was physically afraid that he would hurt her. So we missed my life. Oh my. What is happening? So who am I talking to right now? That is insane. What did she see for that to happen? Just his anger in general. And like I would call her on the phone because I had really bad postpartum being my first child.

19:25So I would call her a lot of times crying because our first child she had a lot of medical things going on. So I would call her crying because I didn't have any help. And he got very angry, very easily with her because she wouldn't take a bottle. She was coughing up a lot of stuff. She was having a hard time breathing. So she, his mom ended up taking her for a good part of her life. How long? About six months. Now this is my concern. Bro hasn't stopped in four years with his anger issues. Why is this the last chance? Because I thought that he would change. Why did you think that? Huh? Because he said that he would. When? Multiple occasions. And he didn't. No. There is. He's a piece of shit. He's done. I brought him off. Okay. So what's going on here? Yeah. He's pretty loud. That's insane. That is disgusting. Why are you still there? We can't be in a house where it's boring abusive towards the kids.

20:26Roman should have the kids. Near the kids. Near the kids. Yeah. Screaming. Screaming. Top of the long screaming at the kids. Right? Or is he just talking like this? Or is he like, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah. He's pretty loud. That's insane. That is disgusting. Why are you still there? Because he's not going to leave. You're the only one unfortunately that has the agency. Yeah. It's because I came from a broken family. We both did. Don't you want to get away then? I do. And I want to break those generational curses. But I always. But you're not. You're literally just staying. And again, to be clear, I know I'm ramping on you right now. That's because I've crossed them off my list. He's done. You are the person that can leave. Because I thought that keeping our family together is better. Is it when that family gets screamed at once a week and stop? And thrown. Is it? Is that really better? No, it's not. Not at all. And this is your last chance. How was this your last chance? You guys broke our previous, right? Yes. When did you break up?

21:26The 2024. Also, the kid was very much in the picture. Yes. How long were you broken up? About six months. Why did you get back together? Because that was the time. The 2024 was my first breaking point. And that's when I left. And that's when I actually, that's when the cheating comes into play. There's cheating now. Yes. Oh, my f***. Guys, what the f*** are we doing here? Yeah, she cheated. Oh, she cheated. Yeah, she cheated. Well, you know what? Maybe the first reasonable time. Yeah, I can't disagree with that. No, shit, piece of shit. Stop trying to look good. You sitting here quiet talking. Yeah, yes, sir. Yeah, I'm so bad. You. What's wrong with you? We'll get into that a bit, but I still need to know what's going on the household today. How many holes are in the walls in this house? Walking around. Um, just the one and then the door. Yeah.

22:26Yeah. That's not our house for kids. No, it's not. Where shit is being thrown. It's very similar to how I grew up. And it's very... Wait, that's just like the four times you said that. Yeah. It's very confused why you're there then. It's like you grew up with it. You hate it, but you're like, yeah, let's do it again. Were any of your parents abusive? Yes. Why the fuck are you being with an abusive piece of shit? Because I thought that keeping my family together was better and I do love him. And it's very hard and I don't want to be. Yeah, love is toxic. Love can get toxic. I will literally pay you to help your friends save money. And that's fucking crazy. This is your one chance to make me your financial sugar net. So listen up. Now the wise is now live on your phone and live on the web. And the referral games are officially on. Are you a customer? Open referrals? Create your username? Grab your link and start sharing. Earn up to $1,500 in rewards and 10 referrals unlock exclusive swag. Finish in the top five and your guaranteed a trip to Austin to meet me plus $500 towards your debts.

23:27Finish number one and you'll get all of that plus the $10,000 grand prize. Now remember, get 20% off the annual plan for $79,99. That is literally less than $7 a month. The launch offer and referral games are only up for a limited time after that. Financial sugar daddy Caleb is gone. Click the link in the description below and get in the game. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered meta and YouTube to pay millions for the role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression and body image issues. But did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

24:28Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up require compatibility and availability very 16 plus. It underscores the consequences of those decisions. Now Morgan and Morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused. Click the link in my bio to take a short quiz. You may be entitled to a potential recovery of over $1,000. You don't want to leave? You told me this is your last chance. Why is this your last chance to inform me on that? Because it came me on what that means. I'm tired of the yelling. I'm tired of the abuse basically. I'm tired of everything and I just want change. So you ever put his hands on you? No. Really? And that was my one breaking point back in 2024 because I know the signs. What? My like him starting to put his hands on me. You said no and now you're saying he started too. No, that I know the signs. Of someone starting to like. Did you start to? No. What are you saying?

25:29So in 2024, when I first left, that's why I left because it was getting to the point to where if I didn't leave, it was going to happen. What was happening? Tell me. I need to know. The yelling, the screaming, the stomping, throwing things. Well, that's the same as today. Yes. So what's the difference? Why would you come back into that? I'm confused. You literally just copy and paste it exactly what's happening now. So what? I'm confused. That's when we got back together about six months later when he said that he was going to change. But that was a year and a half ago now. Yes. If that made you leave the first time, the last year and a half, that's never across your head? It has. A lot. What? Push you out the door the first time though that is not there today. Again, you're kind of copying and pasting answers, not giving me specifics. What happened to you that got you out of the house that is not existing today or within the last year and a half? I would say at that time I was working two jobs and I had money to be able to live on my own.

26:34It's a financial thing today. Thank you. That's an actual answer. You're right. 1,700. You wouldn't be able to live on your own. 2 kids. Who in your life knows what's happening at this household? The roommate. Yeah, the roommate. That's right. You're special. My best friend, Sarah. Okay. What does Sarah think? Sarah knows that it's not the best living situation. She actually no longer lives with us because of the roommate. Okay. Well, getting in the roommate in a bed, he was very excited to talk about the roommate at the beginning. It seems to be his issue when clearly I think the issue is he screams at you, throw shit. I screamed at them because I got consent. Did you get consent to scream at her, throw shit? No. Okay. So. So what's the dynamic at a house right now? Do you consider yourself fiends? Yeah. I do. I do. We're the ring that his mom had. Oh my gosh. Do you guys sleep in the same bed? No, I currently sleep on the couch.

27:34And why is that? It's easier because our newborn does not sleep very well. That's why. Yeah. He doesn't like sleeping in his bed. You want to sleep in the bed with someone who screams at you on a multi-day basis. Well, no, but the bed is more comfortable than the couch. Okay. We don't have intimacy either anymore because I sleep on the couch. I'm sure now. Well, I mean, you don't have to sleep together. But okay, how often we... Not at all. That was the last time. A while. Probably before the baby was even born. Does he have a crush or do you? No. Really? That would totally line up with his personality. But I'm glad to hear he doesn't. I know what no is. Do you? Screamer-yellers stop her, throw her holes in the walls? Yeah. It's a lot. So I sleep on the couch because of one, I mean, the baby does not sleep well at all. And I know that he's working two jobs. I get it. He works a lot. And... I can't believe how much you're defending a guy that is actually abusive.

28:35This is crazy. It is. And then we all know that this is what happens. That the women in the situation will defend it. But to witness it live and in person... I do defend him in that. As low in my mind. No shit. Probably to Sarah, right? I do. Probably to the family, the friends, the roommate. I defend him a lot with a lot of everyone. Why? Why possibly? Just because you love him doesn't mean he's a good guy. Doesn't mean he's a good parent. Doesn't mean he's a good partner. Doesn't mean your relationship is good. Doesn't mean this is healthy for your kids. I'm not saying he don't love him. Love can be toxic. It is a very toxic relationship. We do not communicate well because of it. So tell me about that then. And if we're going to go through this conversation and go through the finances, tell me how we're communicating at the house. Not at all. No. I don't like to really talk a lot about certain things about anything at all because I know that he's going to get angry. Great. How's that for the future relationship? We can't talk because he's going to get angry. Blow up Thursday and smash things. Yeah. I've tried to talk to her.

29:35And she doesn't want to talk to me. Okay. Here, buddy. You know what? We gave 26 minutes of kind of figuring her out. Give me your side of the story. Let's see if there's something. Uh... Yeah. I just work two jobs. I'm always tired. You're also always tired because you don't take care of yourself. I tried to get a good hit. Oh. Well, with a salmon. I have thyroid. What is it? He has Hashimoto's. Yeah. He does not have... That's like a bite of sushi. I don't know. What does that tell me? It's a thyroid autoimmune disease that normal body attacks my thyroid. So I have energy. I don't have... That classically makes people abuse their children. Never. Go on. So what does that do? Well, he's not only to have a medication. Tired. I have no energy. Okay. Drink caffeine. I don't know. That's what he doesn't do. Okay, but this is the reality or situation. I don't understand how the illicit abuse. But go ahead. Continue. Unless try to not interrupt him.

30:35Give me your set of the story. Um... Whenever, uh... Like I do try to talk to her and ask her about certain things. She'll just like immediately snap and start yelling at me. She snaps. She can, yes. Tell me about that. Uh... Like it'll just be like a normal question. Like if I'm making dinner one night and I ask her like... What does she normally puts in the dinner? Because she normally... She cooks as well. But she's a better cook to me. Because I didn't really cook much. So, uh... I ask her what she normally puts in it. And then like I'll ask her, I'm like, Hey babe, what are you putting this on? And then it's just instantly. I don't know. You do it. It's... You know what goes in it. My normal stuff. And I'm like, in what is that? Please? So I know and I don't mess it up. But you also need like legit step-and-step instructions to do anything. I just need a list of ingredients. So you scream at him too. Every now and then. Uh... Do you scream at the kids? Um, when I'm very, very overstimulated, I can. Uh, but that's at the point of my breaking point at night time. Let's do it. Okay.

31:35Okay, so you're both pieces of shit. Should I just go rescue the kids? Like, what am I doing here? What am I doing here, guys? What can I do? Could someone have informed me? For what we need help with? No. Help with... You guys need to get away from each other and your kids. A lot of my anger towards the kids ends up being at night time when I have done everything myself. And trauma is known for being less permanent if it happens at night. What? Okay. Go on, I guess. Tell me. So I'm with the kids 24-7. Yes, your mother and your work class. Okay. I got it. But so it comes from when everything's happening all at once. And I don't have any hope. He can be sitting on the couch watching something on his phone, reading, doing something. Well, he probably does honestly deserve a little bit more downtime. If I'm throwing away my hatred of both of you,

32:36yes, 60 hours a week, he probably needs a bit more time for recovery, especially with his medical condition. So, okay, go on. And it just gets overwhelming to the point. Where is... When I'm at my absolute breaking point, I stop to make dinner. The baby is clustered feeding and won't take the bottle. Our daughter is screaming crying because she needs an activity. She wants something to watch on TV. She's hungry, of course, all the things. The animal still need to be fed. I'm just kidding home at 7pm at nighttime. It still need to do ABCD. I haven't even had time to take off my scrubs. And everyone's clinging to me saying, Mommy, mommy, mommy, I need this. I need that dinner still needs to be made. And then what happens? And then I get overstimulated. And I'm tired. And it's... I just end up breaking down. Again, I will help you here. You have to describe what that is. You both give the shortest version answer of everything. This is a podcast. You tell stories. Let's try it again. Or what happens? You break down. What is that? I normally end up yelling.

33:37Or crying. And I... You yelling, who are you yelling at? Come on, please. I'm literally yelling at literally just open air at this point. I don't really talk to anyone in particular when I'm yelling. I'm just trying to say this. Okay, the four-year-old autism runs up to you. Most of the time she's either beating me. Um, because she's literally coming up to me. And... I'm gonna try to say this. Okay, the four-year-old autism runs up to you. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Most of the time she's either beating me. Um, because she likes to come up and hit me a lot. And hit me and hit me and hit me and hit me. It's not great. Okay. And that kind of throws me off. And then I normally tell her just, like, stop. Stop hitting me. Give me five seconds, please. And it's more like that type of yelling other than not like in her face screaming yelling type stuff. It's me just having an annoying type attitude towards her.

34:39If that makes sense. Is that true? Normally when that happens on that work. So I don't see any of it. I see. Because I'm able to... I trust her when she says what you do. I don't know if I trust her when she says what she does. And I wish I could hear what actually happened. Because I mean, you know, camera everyone's gonna try to make themselves sound better. He's been doing it all for an episode. So before we get into this, Fire Anthels is then for the sake of the context of this relationship, which I can't believe I'm even gonna do this for you guys. But whatever. Two years ago, you said 2D. And it sounds like you did. Yes. Tell me. Two years ago, that was my absolute breaking point when I was... Your favorite word? Yes. It is my favorite word. Michael was being at his most of yelling, slamming things, all like being very emotionally abusive, yelling at the kids. Well, the one child at the time. So disgusting. And I was... I was very not in a good position and it scared me.

35:40It was honestly scared of him, thinking that the next point was going to be either he was gonna put hands on our daughter or me. That is totally fair. So I wanted out, but I was too afraid to tell him that I wanted out. That is fair. So I... You'd have to kind of just leave. Yeah. So I ended up one of the people that I used to know when I went back like few years ago, came into the restaurant that I was working at the time. And at first, I was just back and forth of being friends. We kind of like reconnected that way and then I ended up telling him like everything like what was going on personally. Because obviously, like I'm good at kind of like masking things of how I feel in general. Also be as victims do. But it came to the point to where it became very apparent in my everyday life, something was wrong. And that's when he was like, what's wrong? You needed like what's going on? And I told him everything. And he was like, you need to leave. And then we ended up just having an emotional like type connection again like that. And we started seeing each other.

36:41How frequently? How long was this going on? Like when were you seeing him? How where? Because he's working all the time. You're working and then there's kids at home. How was this happening? So we... It was at the time when I was working two jobs before he worked two jobs. Because before he refused a grant, guess what I'm saying? When were you seeing him? How frequently? He came into the restaurant a couple times and then it was just talking and texting. And then we only saw each other maybe like three, four times before he found out that I was cheating. And he left. Okay. Well, you find out you gave him my phone number and he messaged me telling me that you all had sex before. That's a bad strategy. Yeah. But at the same time, I was literally afraid of you. I didn't know what you would say. I didn't know what you would do. Would you give that guy his phone number? Yeah. And then he just constantly messaged me and berated me, called me. The guy? Yeah. Saying what? Doing what? That if he's seen me, he'd beat me up. That if it came down to it, he's coming up. He's using the person he loves. I mean, I actually kind of get that. I don't believe he loved her. He was using her.

37:42I mean, she paid for his phone for months. Okay. That's also weird. But, um, okay. Yeah. But you guys sort of... Yeah. Oh, okay. So that started maybe early mid 2024. Mm-hmm. And then he... That's when I told him, like, you know, I was afraid to tell him anything. I was afraid of him physically, emotionally, everything. Yes. So he decided, well, why don't I tell him? And I'm like, are you sure that's even a good idea? Why? Why do you guys want to even want to tell him? I'm so confused on that. So that I could get out. I would have built the relationship and then just left and went with him. Yeah. That could have probably also done... Well, yeah, you're in a dangerous situation. I don't understand why we're poking the bear. I really don't. Okay. So he told them, I guess, then what happened? And then at that point, um, he still wanted to meet... He still wanted to fix things. And this was at the point to her... Yeah. The abuser did. Shocker. And at that point, I said that I was done. I had already offered prior, um, counseling and everything, and he didn't want to do it.

38:45So I was... I said, no. And that's when him... He left the house. And we didn't get back together until about six months later. Why'd you go back? I went back because I ended up splitting with the guy that I had cheated on him with because... I found that he was a narcissistic asshole. He is a worked far quad as we like to call him. So you don't hurt him? Yes. And we also talked into an underage girl at the time of war. Oh, yeah. That's it. And in every... No, classic financial order topic today. Yeah, I know how to pick him, apparently. Well, yes.

39:46Stay with him. So... So I don't understand, but that... And then she got with another one, huh? And I said to him, and after him, she got with another guy who ended up in jail. What the f*** is wrong with you, dude? A lot of people... What did he go to jail for? Um, he got to do you why, my car? Oh, my gosh, with your kids in the car? Yeah. Oh, okay. And that was before getting back with him? Yes. So... But why back with him? I feel like you were a kid. So... But why back with him? I feel like you feel like you need to be with someone. Because that's the only reason you went back with him. That's the only reason you got with that other guy after the other dude cheered with you with a f***ing underage girl. Crazy. Um, I feel like you just need to be with someone. I think, listen, it's not bad to be with someone, but you need to be with someone who's putting you in sketchy f***ing situations. Yeah, it really has. So... Do you abuse her? I'm emotionally... I can't not say that, but I don't... That's f***ing insane.

40:46I think I... That's... I didn't say physically, I said abuse. And you're fully acknowledging right now that you abuse her. If... Yelling and throwing stuff... Yeah. Then I... Raise your hand if that's abuse please. I need to make sure. Yeah. Okay, I want to agree that it's abuse. Okay. Very good. You need to make sure I wasn't just like too sensitive or something. Just shut up, liberal. I don't know. I wasn't disagreeing. I was just... I don't know. I'm just making sure I understand. So you will abuse her. Yes. Do you abuse your child? Yes. If Yelling is... It... Yes. And throwing said yes. Leave him. That is one thing that, you know, I've thought about, but... I have, but as you can see, financial... I think his parents would let you move in. His mother would let you move in. Where's your family? Non-existent, really.

41:46But his mom already took the... Kid one time. Move in with her. If it comes down to it, I'll get you first month, last month, and three months of rent, if you need me. I own a house though. Kick him out. The court will be on your side. He's abusive. Kick him out. Get on assistance. It is meant for people like you. That is not a bad thing. I have tried, but I guess because, like, assistant-wise, for, like, feels-and-so, that kind of stuff. But before, I guess because of where we live, they automatically put him on the application because of his names on the birth certificate. Kick him out. Do it. Kick him out. Tell them. The court will help you. You're in Maryland. You're not in some... You know? Not in Alabama. Mississippi. Louisiana. You're in a place where you will get help. Let's go through your head right now. It sucks for sure, but I mean, I can't argue against her if she wants to kick me out.

42:48I mean, obviously, I am a beast. Kick him out. That's it. That's it. What the f- What's holding you back at this point? Because I know that he will live in a tent again. I don't care. He's an abusive person. I don't give a shit. Good. Good for him. Good for us as a civilization. Yippee. Maybe a storm will wash him away. What? So? I would feel extremely bad knowing he's living in a tent. No, no. Not abusers. We don't feel bad about abusers. No, no. We don't do that. Couples raise his voice at each other. That happens. So I don't know. It's the best thing, but it happens. He thinks it happens. In years and years of being together. Not on a multi-day week occurrence and not with kids and not with kids. And not with throwing things and not with holes in the wall. And not within a minute of user. I just can't see him living in a tent. Again, he was living in a tent before. He'll go to a homeless shelter. When was he living in a tent? When we first split in 2024. What? Why'd you live in a tent?

43:48Freak. Because I didn't want to go live with my mom. Because she didn't have a house. You make a house. You make a house. You make $4,200 a month. Not at that time. Okay, he does now. He wouldn't be living in a tent now. He makes good money. Right? You wouldn't live in a tent if she kicked you out, correct? I'd try to find somewhere to live with. There we go. Did that solve the issue? It does, but at the same time, I still feel bad for kicking them out. I am using that f***ing kids. Like, how do I... I'm not equipped for this conversation. How do I do that? How do I navigate that? Definitely a hard thing to navigate. Shut the f*** up. I don't need your perspective on that. I didn't ask you. I don't care. Show that you're talking about. Thank you. I'm... I'll put you up, dude. I will... We'll send you resources. I'll put a couple thousand bucks towards it. I'm happy to do that. You need to talk to someone. You feel bad? No.

44:48Hey, who do you care about more? Your kids are him. I definitely want to put my children first. Well, you're not. You're not. Yeah. Um, my kids have definitely suffered a lot from this. Tell me. I can... I mean... I mean... She's probably... She's... Look, I spent a lot of time on the show telling people to stop avoiding things they actually need to deal with. For me, I've put off making my own doctor's appointments. So apparently, I also need somebody sitting across this table yelling at me. That's why this part of the video is sponsored by ZockDock. ZockDock lets you search and compare high quality in network doctors. It got more than 150,000 providers across 200 plus specialties in all 50 states. And the website has tons of reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles so you can actually choose what actually works for you. When I used it, I put in what I needed and filtered by my insurance. Instead of calling around just to find out whether an office could even see me, I had actual

45:50appointment openings in front of me and could click instantly to book a visit. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Ready to be seen? Head to zock.com slash Caleb to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That is zocdoc.com slash Caleb back to the financial chaos. Guys, you've known me since the beginning and the fact is I just love building products that help people and we're continuing to do that with the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Listen, now you got personal loans that you can get the best rates on forever. You want to use it for whether it's consolidation after you change your behavior or you need to purchase something that gets a good return on investment. And now we got credit building as well. You can shop for the best credit builders that are either free or low cost to you and build that credit. We got debt forgiveness and debt consolidation as well. We got auto loans for your new card that are great rates or you can refinance a horrible auto loan today. And not only that, now you can shop for the best car insurance out there. The thing is we are building more and more of these to help you get the best tools and

46:52services that you can possibly get online at the best rates. So check those out at CalebHammer.com. All those links are below in the Caleb Hammer Financial Services. Check them out. Save yourself a lot of money. I know with how he is and her seeing how that is and how quick he is to just fly off the handle and be angry all the time, it's not good for her. That's how she's going to start reacting. And a lot of times I can see that now that's how she's reacting. If she doesn't understand how to do something or if she's struggling to figure out what you're trying to say or if she's trying to understand and like you can see it clicking in her brain, but she gets very irritated very easily and she will then start to throw things, hit herself and all the things which can come from her being possibly on the spectrum but also watching him every single day. Every day for four years. Yes. This has six months that she had peace living with her mom. You need to save this kid.

47:52It's done. This is done. The decision has been made. What are you going to do? What when I get kicked out? Find somewhere to live. Why didn't you in the last four years get help? Because now you're going to lose everything and you deserve it. I've tried therapy when I was younger and it didn't go anywhere. Try it again. I offered to do therapy before and he did not want to until it was too late. It's been too late. You're just lucky that it's hard for a spouse, especially one that has kids with you to leave. What do you think your financial score is today? And I'm focusing on you here. A two. If you want your hammer financial score, get it for free at Calebhammer.com. See where you stand in the world of finances. It is new and improved. Really specific on each category now so you can see what you need to do to improve. So if you've taken it before, take it again. We've recently updated it.

48:53If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show, make sure you download the Dolomized Budgeting app. It's incredible. It's amazing. It is the perfect budgeting after the average American instead of that overcomplicated bullshit where you stop using it after two weeks because it's not even beneficial to use. It's crazy. Check out the free trial. See if you like it. And if you do, what you're supposed to do, they end up taking the annual version because it saves nearly 50% and you get the physical version of my meal plan signed by me, email directly to you and the digital version of the cookbook. So let's go into this. And you brought up this room, I think. We'll get into that in a second. I'll see if there's something there that is impactful to the situation. You guys clearly make it sound like a button. Let's see. Okay. I have a loan with a payment. Oh, this must be the mortgage. Yes, that is the mortgage. Okay. A mortgage is never on the top of my documents.

49:54When it is, that means something scary is happening. What is happening? The mortgage is currently eight months behind. Oh my shit. Eight months is insane. You guys do not make bad money. This is pretty expensive mortgage payment for you specifically, but all y'all together. One, three, two, three, point five, four divided by your 5,900 a month net. It is 22% of your pay come. What is the issue? What is possibly the issue? So this is where I believe Adam comes into play. Ah. Good old Adam. He's been rumored. But it just took a sip of water. His whole body is breaking down. I haven't taken any. Hey, Adam, tell me about good old Adam. He's been brewing in the background this whole episode. Adam lives with us. He's been living with us on and off and supporting him on and off for the past six years.

50:56What do you mean supporting him? He has not had a stable job since 2021. Okay. What the fuck are you putting up with them? Michael normally puts up with them. You own the house, right? Yes. I have more of a tenant than a roommate. So why are you letting someone that doesn't have a stable job history come live with you in rent a room? Because he literally had nothing. But even still. I mean, no offense for what it's worth. And I'll let you tell this Adam thing. But your guys' income in this mortgage is not dependent on taking an rent. It's still 22% of your net income regardless of if someone is paying a rent. So how the fuck is he making a break in you paying your rent? It's still 22% of your pay. We do not say no to him. If he wants to go out and eat, we go get him food. Oh my God. If he wants something that he needs, we get it. Why? What is your relationship with this guy? He's my best friend.

51:57Oh, great. Which is why I was going to say why does a man live there and he hasn't stepped up against an abuser? Well, that would be why. Is your best friend like childhood best friend? Yeah. I'm going to. What are you doing? What are you doing? So now you're supporting two literal children, essentially. Essentially. On top of your actual two kids. Persist nicely. Why are you putting up with this? I can't believe I'm maybe going to talk to you. But why are you? He's your friend. I have. If my friend, any of my friends, I would support my friends in a hard situation. I would not let them. I would not enable them their entire life. Instead, it's not going to be beneficial to them at all. What the fuck are you doing? What's your perspective on this and actually try to have one? I would feel bad for kicking him out because he generally doesn't have anywhere to go. His doesn't talk to his family. He would be homeless.

52:57Well, but because you guys have enabled them, you've allowed him to not have a job for so long. Why would he ever need to have one? To put himself back up on his feet and be able to take care of himself outside of the house that you guys are all in right now. What would he need? He was with me on my second job. Oh, my, what, the cleaning? Yeah. But that's only what, three, maybe two times a week? Right now, yeah. But he was working like all week. And you guy, but that's because he says no. Well, yeah. He doesn't want to work. He says no? And you will allow this. I guess since I don't stand up to him then, yeah. No shit. You'll stand up to your four-year-old, but not to another man? He did once and then they fought physically. Oh, my, what happened when? What last week? Last week? Last week? Ah! Thankfully, me and the kids were not home and this happened or... Oh, what did I stop them? The cops would have been called and they both would have been out, out the house. Oh, that would have been nice. I wish you were home.

53:58What happened? We were talking and then he... About what? He was basically saying, how's it feel to not have a car that I've been dealing with for years? And I was like, it doesn't really affect me as much as you do. Because I have a way to get to work and like one of my co-workers can pick me up in the morning. Okay. So at that point, yeah, but at that point, he was just started yelling about other stuff and then I started yelling back. I can't really remember. And then he rushes up to me, pushes me, I push back and then I pick him up and throw him on the floor. How long did it go on? No intense was that 15 seconds? Geez. And that was as a week ago. What's the status now? He acts like nothing happened. Yeah. Like, they're back to normal, I think, talking normally as they usually do and like, bantering back and forth, still being friends, brother like that kind of shit. Good for. So why would he ever improve his life? I guess there's no reason to.

54:59You're gonna support him forever. I don't want to. I'm gonna go right news. He makes good money. Adam will go be his roommate when you kick him out. Just solve it your issue. Right? Yeah, no, you're not wrong. You're not wrong. You're not lying. No, I'm not. That would 100% fix the issue. Why are you six months behind your mortgage? I'm very confused on that because even if you do go out to eat here and there, all this stuff and the dude doesn't work, that doesn't make sense for why we are. He said six months or nine months. Eight. Oh, good. Right in the middle. Wait, where's the foreclosure situation? So eight months behind is there is no full foreclosure currently. I have a what they are mortgage company calls an RMA, which is a request for mortgage assistance. So I've submitted our bank statements, pay stubs, all that kind of stuff. Wait, and this isn't an Adam situation anymore. You missed payments. You were full late payments in early 24, mid 24, mid 24, late 24. And then you had unknown. You must have been in an assistance program in early 25. And mid 25, you missed three in a row, then you made two, then you missed four in a row, then you missed all that.

56:00Now that continues into your eight. Okay, actually you've paid one, two, three, four, five, six, seven mortgage payments in three years. It's seven mortgage payments in three years. That is not an Adam thing. You do have some ownership on this. I'm not going to lie. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up require compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. And it's my paycheck goes completely into our joint account that we have together, but his paycheck goes into only his account. And I do not see that money. I don't know where it goes. None of that kind of stuff. So I can't see all of the money completely as a whole to be able to pay things.

57:02And then when I go to want to pay something, there is no money to pay for it. What happens? So you guys said you don't communicate about the finances. What have you tried to do in communication on the finances? Move both of our paychecks into the joint account, but I haven't talked to my- After I've actually- Multiple times to change that. What has not happened? What, why haven't you? I always forget all the matter to ask our- You could literally context her. Yes, I know that. And I don't. For how long have you been requesting? A while since we opened that joint account. Which was- And when we bought that truck in 2024? Good. It's been two years in the As in two and a half years. He's never going to with that case then. Two and a half years isn't- I got a little busy. It'll get busy for two and a half years. He's deliberately choosing not to. For whatever reason. Okay. You, behind on the mortgage.

58:02Why? Because we buy other things or- Why are you choosing to do that? Well most of the time it's going to get food. Like I think she did the math and we spent like what two or three grand in food in a month. Between May and June when I really wanted to sit down and go through our finances. I went through our bank statements between our joint account which was where my check goes into in his account. Between both accounts about $1,900 was spent in eating out between McDonald's, Arby's, all that other shit and- Well your kids fat because you're fat. No. I just had a baby like three months ago. Okay. But I mean you're- I think you are the- You're fat. And- You know you're not going to- Yeah. Pretty shubby. Fat. You want to see kids? Yeah. Not the- Okay. The four-year-old now? Really? Not jumping? No. You want to see a picture? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just don't show it to your ex. Get it? Because he was into a children-

59:04Okay. Well I got to find an over-year picture that doesn't- I feel that she- Over you. Yeah, no that doesn't work. You don't know where it was a weird thing to find out about. It's kind of crazy when you're worse than a- Yeah. I should make you reconsider your life choices. Okay. Yeah, not fat. We'll be. If you guys are eating out two thousand bucks a month and- With Donald's and shit, like what do we do? That's the thing- And it's in your jeans. We're not the ones eating it. All that. Adam. Two thousand hours of fast food went to Adam. Not all of it now. Not all of it essentially but- What? The majority of it went to Adam. Okay. Um. Have you argued to kick Adam out? Yeah. And what happened in that conversation? At the end of the conversation we both realize that he has nowhere to go and we feel extremely bad if he were to live in a tent again. Even you do- What is with this tent thing? They both live in a tent. Hey, maybe he will figure it out and needs to because he's an adult. He's 26 too as well, right?

1:00:04He's 27. He's 27. I think he can figure out his life. See a drug added? I mean, so it's all weed. No, well that's not like- Like hardcore. Yeah, he doesn't know. So he won't be homeless out of the sake of drug addiction and it gets a front and shit like that. He will figure his shit out and if he doesn't, he is a failure of the market. Whoopsie. His problem. There's also services and shelters and shit there. I guarantee it. Oh no, we have 100%. We have a lot of different opportunities. Then them choosing to live in a tent is them choosing to live in a tent. You cannot make your entire world in life's choices based on what- What another person chooses to do? Not for a single choice. I think it comes down to me being an absolute people-pleaser and feeling I just feel like- I have to please everyone to be happy. Great. So continue having your kids abused. Good?

1:01:04No, not good. I don't want that to happen. I don't want him to change and I want to have a not broken family. Dude, your house is worth $220,000 more than it's worth. Salute. Pay off your debt. Start a clean new life on a budget. Endate in a healthy way instead of getting weirdos, okay? Maybe move to a better place. Pay off debt. Have a fully funded emergency fund. Use it to get yourself in a better career position. I'll get you a course career certification. Congratulations. You have people in the audience, you're not getting one. People in the audience have used it to get six-figure jobs, trade, tech, whatever you want. It's an incredible platform and product. But I mean, you can get a cash offer from Zillow in three minutes and they're valuing it at 300,000. Even if they give you $280, you walk away with $100. And that's probably before it's actually like we've done some renovations to the house.

1:02:07Yeah, that's probably not going to do much. Even still, plus a house like that. I don't know. Weeds being grown in the backyard. Yeah. By who? Adam. What are we going to do if we get caught? That's a CPS phone call, right? Yeah. Is it illegal? What do you have a cop? Yes. Apparently in Maryland. Two plants per person. Two plants per person. And there's only six plants? I don't know. Yeah. I haven't even looked back there. Some of them were probably died by now. Okay. Hmm. Is anyone ever called CPS any guys? No, but I think when our first daughter was taken by his mother, his aunt had to physically take the baby back away from his mother to be able to give her back to us because we think. His aunt do that. And then she said, you know, I think it's because it was, he said she said, remember that his mom wanted grandparents rights. Good.

1:03:07I'm sorry. You're a horrible, objectively horrible dad. You are a bad mom because you won't get the kids out of the house or him out of the house from the kids. You're not as bad as he is a dad. But you not getting them away or him away is being a bad mom. Because you're just wanting your kids to do it and be there. And also, I mean, you were very behind him, or you just well. So maybe they should have had grandparents rights. But if the mom was willing to do that, well, the mom not take you in. I don't know. Call her. Right now. Mm-hmm. She might be working. I'm not sure. Let's see. Friday. I think she is. Well. Right in the near areas, 2,400. Did you guys learn a very blessed position? Sell the house, get the f*** away from him, move on. Have the debt. Fully funded emergency fund. We're still last time I talked short. Well, you can just type in a name. She has two numbers on my phone. I had to delete the one.

1:04:07I had to delete the one. So it was more like you stole the baby back then. In a way, you worked with the aunt to do it. Yeah. That's not a good thing. But the mom not calls CPS. See if she answers. If not. Hey, how are you? Good. I am a friend. I'm sitting down with your son and her. And you know, I'm just kind of going over some things. They really wanted some advice. And you've come up multiple times in this conversation. And I just kind of wanted to talk to you. They're both here. Say hi. Hi. Hey. So that you know they're with you. Who are you? My name is Caleb. They just, they came to me for advice. And a private setting. Well, it's actually not that private anymore though, but either way, whatever. It doesn't matter. The thing is, I know you had the kid for a bit and they unfortunately took the kid back.

1:05:10I think you should have the kid. This man scares me around the kid based on everything he's admitted to me. He told me he's verbally abusive and emotionally abusive. He told me that. She's not even saying that. If things get too dangerous, is she allowed to take the kids and live with you? That was my one question. It's not about your first question was for me to take the child back, which is fine. But I need more, like there needs to be more information. Like I've already discussed with them before about situations. And so if my question is, is if you're asking me to take one, what about the other? And like what, what's the plan? Like what are we doing? And are we going to get help at this point in time? Like, now we have somebody else involved in this. And I know that I'm your mother. I know your mom is in the picture and I'm like a mom to you.

1:06:10And that's hard for you to probably even think about like, well, that's mom. Like how can she stand up for me? But I've told you time and time again that I would be next to you. And so in saying that, it's very hard. It's like both of y'all are my children in a sense. And I want the best for both of y'all, but y'all both need help. You both need to get into some sort of counseling and have a support system. Do y'all hear me? Yeah. Yes, we hear you. And I'm sort of disappointed that y'all even did this show and you never even said anything. Like if you want me and I've told you this time and time again, I've walked the road that y'all are in. I was a single mom in the military with nothing was scraping by. And I turned my phone and I made different choices and I did different things in life. And that you guys can always come to me. And instead you constantly keep me in the dark. But they want to call me in an emergency, which is fine.

1:07:10I'm always going to be here, but we've got to do better guys. Like this is so out of the blue. So if you're in Texas, who has the children? My friend has her. Has both of them. You know, y'all, this almost feels like a joke because seriously, I feel so left out in the dark. It's not even funnier right now. I apologize. It's not a joke. I actually really just wanted to know if she ever needed to if she could live with you. I've already told her this. I've already told her this. I've told both of them at one point in time was with me because they had the split up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's also you have to get your crap together because if not, you're going to lose your whole entire family. Do you want that? No, not really. I'm sorry, don't get in the hold of me. So if I can answer the phone, I will step away and talk to you all. But if not, like seriously, I'm hoping I'll be done by eight tonight. So either way, all right.

1:08:10Thank you. Bye. I love you all. Love you too. Love you too. Hard to navigate that conversation. It's always hard to tell people like, oh, you're on financial audit. So I should have just said you're on financial audit. So I apologize for that when you're watching back. But at least she knew by the end when you told her. Yeah, it sounds like a sweet person. And by the way, thank you for your service and it sounds like she was incredible. She has done so many good things. You mean on the spectrum is that next kiss for abuse? I'm never making an excuse. I know. She kind of was. I don't like this. Go live with her, get rid of this piece of shit. Sell your house. You get a form that you've made me seven payments. Some payments to do one half years. What are you doing? Okay? Seven. Seven. I'll give a shit about Adam. He sounds like he needs to come on this show. And we can deal with that, but he needs to get a shit together. Your kids' lives are not put below his. Ah.

1:09:10Ah. No, you're right. Okay. Oh. I've never actually seen a literal page with repossessed on it. They already launched liquid assets, my official gamer's up sclabor, Raspberry Apple. And it's been selling like crazy. Here's the update. The free gift stacking promo from Christmas in July, has officially sold out. For the flavor hasn't, zero sugar, under one calorie, 100 servings of tub, same new traffic blend, same full vitamin stack, still just four scoops a day max. Code Caleb still gets you 10% off your entire order. And there's still a shot. One out of every 10 that your tub comes with my face on it. All you need to do is head to gamer subs.gg slash Caleb or click the link in the description below. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows

1:10:11every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. And that's a promise. This has never happened before. What is this? That is my car that I got in 2024. That was the one transportation argument that they had when they were fighting. Anyways, that car was repossessed last week. Last week? Yeah. Last week? What are we doing? I had called the bank that bank. You guys make money. You literally together, you guys make money. We have no, none of this makes no sense. It doesn't. We have zero excuse for our finances at all. Zero, no excuse whatsoever of why we're in this position that we're in. So what? What do you drive now? A 2000 Honda Accord. You already had it? Yes. Why'd you have this car then?

1:11:12That was the car that I bought because I bought that one because I told all my Honda. What? What were the payments? Nine, 62. Oh! It's another mortgage. What were you? This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web. Like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up require compatibility and availability, very 16 plus. I'm making when you split with them. I was making 52 a year at my one job and then another... Can't get those jobs back. It was a very toxic job. I don't care. What's more toxic?

1:12:13The guy yelling at you. Goods are a little son job. This is true. Oh, yeah. I was working from home with that job, so I didn't have to pay for childcare. I was making 50. And it was toxic. It was from home, log off. I was making about 52,000. How was that toxic? My boss wasn't at the very front line. How? You keep saying, I'm glad you say things. Now try to actually explain them. So I was an HR executive assistant. So what I did was I helped with the hiring process, I helped with all that kind of stuff. And it was mainly a lot of nepotism in that job, a lot of narcissism. Okay, how are they toxic? It was a lot of back and forth between who he said she said. And what, you'll remote, tell me. Are you okay, really? Just burping. Okay. There was a lot. I don't know. It was a while ago at this point. I quit. 2020 was for. You're talking about something you didn't even back that up. You didn't even back that shit up. What was toxic? I was told that, you know, I didn't do a lot of things,

1:13:13but a lot of my work. You didn't. A lot of my work got taken from me for another position. Why? So you got paid for doing less? Yes, but they tracked us on everything that we did and because I didn't have enough to fill my day. Are you threatening you with firing? If I didn't pick up my productivity, but then I would come back and say, I don't have a no. Go get that job back. Or go get a job similar. What the fuck? You make no money right now and you just got your car repossessed. And you're, you made seven mortgage payments into an affair's. Go get a job, dude. What are you doing? So what's the balance that's going to be left on this or is this that now? Oh, you were a past due $4,811. Yes. What the fuck is possibly wrong with you? Oh, yeah, that's your payment, dude. Shit. Yeah, it was $31,876 for some of that make $1,700 a month. Whoa, whoa. Okay, it's private, Mark, you did we get the value of this car? Because it's going to be that, my as likely the value of the car is what you're still going to,

1:14:14oh, it's going to be an incredible, it's going to get you in a predatory loans and all the shit. What was the interest rate on this? I think 20 something. 20 something? I don't like when you speak. Sorry. Without being spoken to. 20 something's crazy. Yeah, it was really bad. See, you put yourself in a worse situation when you left him. I did. And I only got that car because I told him my other vehicle because I fell asleep driving. $9,000 in your old 31,000 on it. It's only worth $9,000. Are you sure that's the car? Is that the right car? Is that the right thing? Do we have the right thing? Because that's insane. That might be what his truck's worth. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Because I want to be surprised if you bounce it up anyway from all the fees and all the shit. So that's a back payment, you know, I can't believe you let it get to repossession territory. I tried calling them multiple times to kind of like work out a pre-payment plan. And they... Repayment plan? A repayment plan or like... It's added on the back. They only do that so many times.

1:15:15It would have only... I paid it back up at one point and then it got this bad again. It's like your mortgage. Yes. And then when it finally got repote, I had called them and I said, hey, this is what's going on. Are we able to do something? And they said no. And they wanted about like $8,200. Yeah. Oh, that's a joke. Yeah, up front to take the car out. Oh, yeah. And get it back. Found? Yeah, but they did not expect... They did not want any type of payment plans to even get it back. Oh, yeah. Because that's what you hope you... F... Are you surprised by this? Like, I'm not. I was not surprised. What are you talking about? Well, I don't know if it's going to be owed. You're probably going to owe maybe like half. Who knows? You're still going to have to pay that. Who knows? Maybe they'll come sue you for it and they'll garnish your wages. That's the last statement, I think, of the same car. And here's your check in the cow. You started with $5,000 and it was negative $168.00. Shit.

1:16:16What are we doing? I need you to be independent. You know we're close to that. You're going to be trapped in the situation with this piece of shit forever. Negative $163,90 cents. I mean, you're getting like energy drinks or something? Energy drinks, I don't know. You stop at the market and you get a $2.66 thing. So the thing about that is... Thank you. That is the joint account. So my car for that joint account does not work. It's only on his car that works. And he has the car to that. I have to... Is this all his spending? Yes. You do not get free gamers' ups. Go. Go for yourself. But for everyone else out there, gig gamer's ups. It's 40 cents a serving with my discount code. Get your free samples, figure out whatever you like with the code, click the description below. I highly recommend Caleb Hammers liquid assets.

1:17:19It's the best flavor because I made it myself. And I wanted to get the best flavor. I would. You can get one. Are you an energy drink person? I am the energy drink person of the group. Well, here you go. It's all you did. Nice. They're delicious. Seriously. I will not put all the blame on him because I do have his version of the truck. I was going for a slap. Because you do spend money and you are not going to be independent. I need you to be independent out of safety. Balsa. Balsa. Prime video. Overdraft text. It's gonna be me. You'll see a lot of those on there. Oh, I bet. Balsa, it gottleds. With draw cash. Tickfully overdraft. Overdrafting. For Chick-fil-A is what we're doing. But you can't even get out of the house from a man that is next to borderline beating you.

1:18:21Interesting strategy. Can't say I've done it myself. $5 and he's checking to go. It's a joint goes back and forth, I guess. He's paying for snapchat. I don't even care if he's shooting. Who even knows. Well, that's just me restoring strikes with one of my friends. You've only cheated once? Yeah. I'm surprised. Honestly, the first person ever outside go cheated as many times as you want. Go take that dick. Just wear a condom. How do you feel about the cheating? I don't care. Okay. No, how do you feel about it? It hurt me, of course, but I mean, yeah, that's why I... Unfortunately, it hurts you enough to hurt you, but you haven't changed yet. So there's that. Like, four years of nothing, man, I don't get that. We all make mistakes. I wanted to forgive almost anyone's past on anything if they grows a human, because that's his life. And not everything's Twitter and TikTok where, hold up a cot of all from five years ago.

1:19:22Yeah. They said a rude thing online. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Cancel, cancel. No, people grow, whatever. That's what the normal person thinks, okay? Yeah. You're not growing. You refuse to see therapy. Well, yeah. Well, you denied when she said, let's get therapy. Yeah. And then a couple months later, I asked her if she wanted to go therapy, because I realized that my choice was wrong. But I like, she did, no, like I did with her. She ignored me and basically said, why? Because I was at that point where it was, I don't think that he cared at all. And even when he said that he wanted to do therapy, one of his favorite lines is when he's yelling when we're arguing is that he doesn't care. So that's always in the back of my mind. Well done. You don't care? I say that when I get angry, but I do care. Again, there is nothing wrong with getting angry in a relationship and even raising voices like hearing in there. I mean, it's not, I'm not saying that that's a good thing. Well, you'll find that basically every relationship

1:20:23ever that has existed. Screaming, throwing things at children, at the stuff, throwing things, banging things around, making holes in the wall. That is not okay. She also never really apologized for cheating on me. So good. She did it because you were abusive. Then she came back and you're still abusive. I don't give a shit. Go for yourself. Do you apologize after every time you scream at the kid? No. And why do I give a shit that she has and apologized? She admitted in this conversation. So good, so good, so good. Nordstrom Rack is celebrating 125 years of Nordstrom with 125 of the best deals up to 65% off. In stores and online, we're talking incredible savings on brands you love like Vince, Sam Edelman, Rack and Bone, all Saints and more. They're only here while supplies last. So shop today. Go into Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store

1:21:23for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. And I guess the whole set should be stock, it should be expensive. And then you go for the ride, plug that registration, the discount Yes, give a shit. That is good. And many opportunities in stock is to be over. Still have to sell. Good and banks, right, VIPS του Libraries, it's free. Who knows investigate where you're going and if you are improper or you want to estimate that. I'm confused so there will be no interiors, right way. I'm not one just I 100% take blame for that. But at the same time, I was not in a very good spot mentally wise and I was afraid. So I thought it was the better way out. Now, what if you still would you still be with the second guy? If you get a do you I instead of him? Probably not. No. Not very confident on that one. McDonald's energy drink. Playstation. I would drop a place to $20 United distribution. Who the $2.40

1:22:29cents probably some bullshit. Venom machine maybe McDonald's bullshit. Snapchat again. He's getting Snapchat a lot of the few paying for on Snapchat a little freak. My streets run out with my friends that are like over a thousand. So I just pretty much friends. Yeah. Maybe she go. Let me not show you. Maybe just go live with them. Chick-fil-a R.B.'s checkers smoking some vapes getting some energy drinks. Checkers. Snapchat again. Crazy. Energy drink. Energy drink. Chick-fil-a. Domino's Fablatics. Chick-fil-a. Exchange exchange exchange exchange McDonald's energy drink. Energy drink. Snapchat. Energy drink. Energy drink. Energy drink. McDonald's. Energy drink. Energy drink. Chick-fil-a. McDonald's. Amazon Energy drink. Oh McDonald's. Playstation. Bolshev. ATM. A.T. Amatron. Usage fee. Bolshev. Chick-fil-a.

1:23:30Another Venom machine. Bolshev. Energy drink. McDonald's. Arby's. What is that? Venom machine. Who knows? Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Bolshev. Chick-fil-a. Snapchat again. Web. Tint. Would you even care if he cheated on you right now? I mean, it would hurt me just because I'm the like. You guys are cooked. Bolshev. Energy drink. Snapchat. Bolshev. Handy games. What even is that? I don't even know to be honest. You're the only one that does the game. Yeah, I know, but I that doesn't ring a bell with me. Energy drink. Energy drink. Energy drink. Amazon. Amazon. Energy drink. Energy drink. Energy drink. Energy drink. Chick-fil-a. Prime video. And a bullshit or something. I don't know. Energy drink. Energy drink. Energy drink. Premium. McDonald's. Energy drink. Tobacco. Oh, if it isn't, uh, you know. Like seven overdraft fees. Oh, there you go. That's hot. Why did you get with him in the first

1:24:36place? How the fuck did you fall in love with this in high school, right? Yeah, it was high school. How? We met. Yeah, we do live in a small town. We met in while we're in orchestra and we had a lot of what did you guys play? I played the violin and he played the bass. Okay. What did you see in him? We did a lot of after school stuff when it came to like orchestra and stuff like that. Because we lived in a small town. It was only like a certain amount of us. So it was a very small fishing pool. Fishing pool? No. Oh, yeah. Well, you're buying an truck. I'm glad you're paying for Snapchat, but not your truck. $382 a month in 42 cents with a balance. $4,721.95. Oh, total payment due because your past due to payments. You owe $1,147. Why are you behind? You make good money and this is an interest rate below 3%. I'd want to keep this. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go live in it. I just haven't paid it because

1:25:40we're paying either other bills or what other bills? No, you're not. You're actually not a Wi-Fi bill. Huh? Our electric and our Wi-Fi. And how much is that? Yeah, electric's like, well, this past month was like $700. You make $6,000. Nothing. It goes back to literally all of those little eating out and everything. The majority of the eating out and the vaping, neither one of us smoke. We buy it for Adam. Adam's done. Yeah. Adam's out. If for some reason you guys stay together, which no, please do not. Adam's gone tomorrow. No, give him a month. A month to get his life together. He has a full month. He has fair warning. And if he chooses a tent, that's on him. Or do you just want to live with your best friend? He's choosing his best friend over you and your kids, by the way. That has very felt like that. No, it's not feeling. He is. Like, he is.

1:26:44Like every action is showing that is true. Okay. And it makes me want to cry. No. Leave. Has to do on something that is valued even a little more than you know. Capital one. It's close. Is it in collections? 3,786? Yes. Okay. Why did that go to collections? Again, you guys make money. Um, so a lot of my debt was the my mom. What? She would use my stuff and she racked up some bills and she always said that she would pay them and has not. She's. And how long did it take you to learn that lesson? Um, a while. Have you learned that lesson? Yes. Good. Don't never give other people your debt. Okay.

1:27:45Yeah. Okay. She's. Do you guys forget you were in a podcast? 4960 is an other discovered. Did she rack this up to? Yes. That is currently garnishing my paycheck. Yeah. Consequences of your actions. Who keeps farting? No, I know fat people fart so I smile. I'm not farting. I mean, I would tell you if I did, but I would even know. Dude, you've been expunging this whole episode. Well, okay. One of you just is just a stinky individual. Verizon. Well, the garnishment of your wages makes sense why the your wages so small before it hits your account. $2666. That garnishing? No. It's in collections. Verizon. You just didn't pay it. And the Verizon, that's from like the guy that you cheated on with, right? Correct. Yeah. Because he refused to help pay for the bill. Yeah. Just you picked the winners. Another collection, $873.

1:28:51Okay. I guess it was Dow. We banked Dow. So you like a Dow financing? Yeah. What is this insurance paid? So you owed medical $1,807? Yes. If you got it on payment plan, they'll do very small typically. Not yet. That is for my recent, um, maybe. Okay. I would call and do that. Okay. Retirement 1555. Who's that? Mine. And you have nothing. Yes. I don't have time. I don't give a fuck about you. I'm not doing anything regarding you. Here's what to do. Step by step. And I will do a bucket. A step by step. You kick him out. You put the house up for sale. You kick Adam out. You learned to budget. Because when you sell the house, you will pay off your debts, have a fully funded emergency fund. And focus on your career. While you kick him out, while you sell him, while you learn how to budget, while you build up your emergency fund, you are living with his mother. You are taking care

1:29:55of the kids in the first peaceful household in their life and the history of their life. Yep. Maybe you do that for a year, maybe two years, you build up your skills, your certifications, whatever you can do. You hunt for a career. You get a good career. Then you can move out and you have a place for you and your kids. Just start dating someone. The only way he ever gets back in is with your satherapy and showing and proving that he is changed and has coping mechanisms, is medicated and everything. Other than that, he's never even coming close to the kids. Unless it's court mandated. And then you find a man through dating. Okay. That's how this works. Your rent will be zero living with her. Your food will likely be zero, but I'll have you contribute $500 towards it. I'll have you contribute $300 towards TP fund. Your medical health care, you'll get on Medicaid. You'll get an assistance. You'll do what you need to do. Child tax credits will help you. What will your phone bill be? What is it? My phone is paid by my dad. What the fuck? I thought they were in the picture. Your debt payments will have maybe like 50 bucks for the medical, but that's pretty much it.

1:31:03Don't give a fuck about his truck. You'll have car insurance. Let's just assume it's like the worst. They're like pretty bad. Not mid to 150. You might have to get a car loan. Let's say you have a car payment of 500 bucks. You'll get a 10,000-hour car and out of 30,000-hour car. Then you'll put maybe you actually do a cash car. That was my current plan. You'll do a cash car from selling over the house, but only still 10,000 hours. Multiple mechanics approved. Medical health care will support an extra $200 there. Let's do $100 for subscriptions. How many pets are you going to take with you? Got a prior to the kid over the pets. It's a sad day, but it's a real day. I do know at least six of the cat and they need to go. How many will you take with you? Probably two. Okay. $100 pet insurance. $100 to take care of the pets. Once you learn how to use this budget, then you can have access to the funds of selling the house. Then you can pay off your debts. Then you can set the rest aside for an emergency fund

1:32:03and catch you up on retirement for anything that is left over. You'll be budgeting off at $600 a month, but you can even do today barely. If you prove you can do it, I will allow you to sell the house. But other than that, kick them out. You're done. Okay. It's okay. It's is very much. I am going to call Adam in the pub show. I am so done with this, dude. Let's get your hammer financial score. Leave him immediately. Oh, and Lindsay and Brandon are going to absolutely ruin your life. And if you have minutes in the post show, let me tell you they are going to cook you to death. Especially since they have more information than I even have because I go blind, but they know everything. Spending it about, oh, you're having fun. Oh, no, there is real estate. Retirement's one. Spending a budget debt emergency fund. That's all zero. Real estate is just fine. You're just behind. So that brings it down dramatically. It could be a three-out of ten, just the best. There, and financial score gets you updated one at KELOLAND.com. Yours is a one out of ten. Now join us for the

1:33:05post show. I'm going to destroy Adam and they are going to destroy them with even more information they have. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week. Best membership on YouTube, Best Network by far. So check it out. Join with the join link or the join button down below, or you can download the hammer lead app or hammer lead.com. See you there. Okay. Call them. You have been carried by these two individuals. It is time to grow up, develop some skills, build a resume, get a job and get the f*** out of their house and pay your own f*** bills. Your friend is kicked out because he's abusive. And you're kicked out because you're a loser. I just launched the brand new hammer lead app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of hammer lead access or free. Download the hammer lead app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.

1:34:07I want you to be on the next episode of Financial Outlet right here in Austin, Texas. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to katelapamber.com, slash apply or click that link in the description below. Nober second, wait a door. Under 179 a minute without parent.