Something’s Burning: Nick Simmons + Evan Stanley Talk Nepo Babies and Reality TV | S7 E14

0:00It's late August for me here and this is when the sun sets and the weather's perfect and I go by the fire pit and I lit up. What did I let up the other day? Oh, an end illusion bowl. What a great cigar. Kind of light too. It's one of my favorite cigars. Guess where I got it in a sampler pack at cigars international. Running low in your favorite cigars, head to cigarsinternational.com for the ultimate destination for premium handmade cigars. And this is the time of year to stock up on premium handmade cigars. It's about to get cold out. We all know we don't like smoking cigars when it's cold. When it's time to restock, go to where selection and value lead the industry with the largest resortment available. Your favorites are always ready to ship no excuses to wait cigars international now offers free shipping every day. No codes, no minimums. Your go to cigar retailer every time cigars international is for all things cigars with the biggest selection of premium handmade cigars available anywhere.

1:01cigars international offers unbeatable deals and discounts, making it easy to stock up on all your favorites or try something new without breaking the bank. Time to stock up again, use my code, podcast at checkout for 20% off your order of $50 or more or visit www.cigarsinternational.com slash podcast and the discount will automatically apply some exclusions apply. One comment literally said, this is verbatim because I screenshot it and saved it. This is gay. Your dad's never dressed gay. Excuse me. Arguably the gayest. Arguably. Yeah. That's gayer than David Bowie and Freddie Mercury and a hot tub together. Get the fuck out of here. Hey. Something's burning, something's burning. Something's burning. What we're about to do is something's burning. I love you. I'll talk to you later.

2:02Thank you. Thank you. I'll send you a picture of me working out today and you're going to just reply. I look fucking great. Jesus Christ. I take more nudes just to send to him. I only send my nudes to two people, him and my wife, but look how fucking great I look in this. Oh, he sent him to me. I'm sure she'd enjoy that. This is the one I'm sending. You see there, take talks. This is what I just sent to him. Pretty great, huh? I look fucking incredible. He's thin. He hasn't gotten big yet. You know what I mean? When he fucking gains it all back, you think it's over. Did you ever meet Fat Tom? No. I only met him when he was vaguely getting into this sort of like modern. It's so crazy. It's like knowing Jesus only as a carpenter. Yeah. And then, and like, and everyone's like, wait, so what was he like when he was a carpenter? He was like, he was great, man. He was like, pranky. He was fun. He was fun. Not only known as like millionaire Tom. I never knew like, he's struggling in comic Tom millionaire Tom.

3:04Yeah. I only knew Rich Tom, who talks about like losers who don't have Rolexes. That's my, that's the top of the Tom I've met. I know Christina better than Tom and I obviously friendly, but like, a Christina and I text. Everyone knows Christina better than you know Tom. Well, they'll find, she talks. Yeah, they'll find the bodies. He's Tom. He was, he, he's still fun. You just got to get him in the right, in the right place. No, I love, I get his personality. I understand it. Well, his personality wasn't always this. I think trauma happened. Listen, I'd be very candid. I know everyone loves to hear stories about Tom and Christina right now. And this isn't, after he got, after he got in that accident, I think it scared the fucking out of him. Trauma, I'm going to get him with the accident. Get him with the accident. I've given the basic. It's unfilmable. Tom was born looking athletic, but he's not athletic. So it's like, it's like, it's like you ever seen someone who dresses like a rock star, but can't play an instrument. Like, what do you do? It's me right there.

4:04He's like, I just think. I'm a front man. I'm a front man. I'm a front man. I'm a front man. I'm a mediocre at best. And he went to go dunk a basketball. Because I'm way more athletic than him, but I don't look at him. I'm like, everything is, no, they're in composition. Oh, he got two decades. Yeah, cussily. And so, like, I played tennis with him. I destroyed him. I humiliated him in front of his shoulder. I did. Weightlifting. I benched. I benched two 25, 10 times one time. And he was like, for real, I overheard his trainer, right? They were talking about my shoulders behind my back. And his trainer went up and felt my shoulder under my shirt. And I watched his trainer look at Tom and go, it's real. Like the great thing about Bird is that he never exaggerates. Never have anything in the whole world. Never, everything is balls accurate. Just balls accurate. So, which is a phrase that I've heard before. So, but when he got into, he went to go dunk a basketball. Because the first thing he was ever excelling at, the very first time you looked at a sparkle in his eye where he went, I'm going to beat Bird physically.

5:07This has never happened in his entire life. And he's even financially, he had to move to Austin to make more money so he could take for taxes. He tells a very different story. I know. I know. So, he goes to, by the way, I am like joking, kind of. So, he goes to dunk and his, his patella ruptures. So, as he goes. What was this? Yeah. This was at the peak of COVID, December 2020. Look, done contest. He's the peak of COVID. So, they got this in like 4K from like five different angles. Five. Or bangles. This is the most, for the record, just to put this, this is a man who has made a living humiliating people when they get injured. Correct. Tom goes to dunk. His patella ruptures. He goes to stop himself with his arm and his femur, his humerus, this bone breaks in half. He falls on his arm. And it spins in circles.

6:07And then we covered it in 5K. Yeah. From five different angles. And then... Do you watch it? Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. Let's watch it. Oh, dude. And by the way, I told you exactly what happened and it's still, it's like two girls won't cut. You're not ready. When you see it, you're going to be like... The sound of him hitting the basketball court floor of like, you hear like a few different impacts. It's like bone body. It's bad. It's real bad. I think he scrubbed the internet of anyone's screen grabbing it so that he was the only one that, because he wanted to be in control of it. Yeah. That people made beams of him like break dancing when he's like on the ground injured. They made him like, oh, he's spinning around and people are going, oh, and then there's like one of him, I don't know, someone turned him into a swastika. I think like some of this arm bent around. Yeah. And this is... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

7:09Lands on the arm. There's the arm. Oh, the arm is... Oh, the arm is fucked. Oh, dude. By the way, look how fat he was. By the way, what great music choice. Can't clear that. Fucking... So, yeah. So then that happened. And I... So, like, I had a blood clot in my leg and it got my lungs and then someone tells me the chance is survival for that is like 5%. And you're like, huh? You don't hear that until you're out of the woods. Yeah. And then that trauma shows up one day where you don't realize you're like, holy shit, like, I could have died. And then you're like, and I... And then ultimately you deal with that like a month later. It kind of fucks you up. And within like a two-week period, I get a blood clot. My bus burns down on my dog dies all within two weeks. And so I fucking... Oh, the bus here, remember that? Yeah, it's correct. So like, I've been dealing with that right now, like real heavily in like panic and therapy

8:10and like trying to figure it out. Well, that happened to Tom. And I think he realized his mortality and he was overweight and... And he got COVID. That's why he got all thin and shit. And yeah, and I think it changed. And his dad passed away. Yeah, no, no. All this shit happened. Because that was his best friend, too. It wasn't like, you know, there are different levels of dead dead club. And he was like, they were the buddies. Like, they were friends as well as he was on the show a bunch of times. His dad was awesome. Yeah. His dad and his dad. And his dad. Even like in their family, like the girls would be on the side of the table and be Tom and his dad. Like they were boys. And yeah, that was a bad one. So we were making, I'm making you guys rib eyes with a beet salad. It is a coffee and crusted rib eye with a red wine glaze. I will make them medium-rare. I'm going to season them right now and let them sit at room temperature. And then I'm going to make our glaze with our feta and... Well, put our beets. It's going to be awesome. Can we pick the right podcast or what?

9:11That's fucking go. No wait, I'm dying to know. Let's talk about you and not Tom Sigerah, although that's what's getting views these days. If I fucking could leverage my friendship with him. I want to talk about the moment you guys decided to work together. When did you guys first meet? Like childhood, right? Yeah, I don't remember. I just remember you being around. We're like cousins. So like, our fathers are co-workers, so we were just at family events. At what point do you realize what your dad does? We get this question a lot. It's like... It's a weird one because you only have your own experiences, your friend or reference. So as a kid, you're like, yeah, that's what dad does. But for me, it was weird. I moved to New York right when I turned 18 and I'm like, as far as I could get away from home in the US. And of course, that's when they did that Barbados campaign. So I shit you not. I'm on 11th and 3rd. And on the south corner of that is a giant billboard with our dads looking into my window in Barbados. And I'm like, all right, I can go super far in there here. I guess they're really, really big. I knew they were big, but that was like damn, they're really big.

10:15Me, it was like... We did MTV Cribs when I was a kid. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah. How old? I saw that. I was like a teenager. I was a young teenager, maybe 14, 13. And that's what caused us to have then a reality show on Annie for a while. And... Family Jules. Yeah. Family Jules. It was a great reality show. I haven't watched it. My first takeaway was... My first takeaway was... It's an attractive family. Like your sister's beautiful. You're a good looking guy. Like you're a good looking guy. I was. Your mom's absolutely undeniably one of the most beautiful women. That's very sweet. And the sweetest. Yeah, she's a sweetest. She's aging like wine, I'm aging like milk. When cameras show up, you kind of go, oh, okay, I guess this is something. But I mean, whenever you grow up with someone like our experience of these guys are not... First and foremost, we know them as sort of like... Like your kids know you. Like they do. We know them as the home life. My dad was getting up early before elementary school and making French toast driving me there. He's like, guy we know. Getting on me about grades.

11:15He's like normal dad and then he puts on makeup and does the same thing. So the thing everybody else knows is this sort of secondary trivia about this guy that we know, sort of. So it's like, it's weird interacting with the other guy in public with people because it's not... That's not the guy we know intimately. There's this home guy that is different. You guys want anything to drink? Do you want any cocktails? Any... I want... Did you just have surgery? I did. That's why I'm so quiet. I feel like I'm crippled because I'm like, I'm not supposed to talk that much. I'd say... I like a little polyp removed. Thankfully, the doctor's like, it's not from singing wrong. It's not really like, it's an accident. I don't know what caused it. Guys can get him. But had to get it removed before a tour. So there was a week where I couldn't even go like, mm-hmm. I used one of those like, Robo Talk apps and... That's weak in my life. You missed me. You missed me. Lindsay was about ready to kill me, dude, because I was trying to sign to her and she didn't get it. And then my buddy Max came over, he understood everything. So we were... We were... Polyp, right? Oh yeah, yeah. Not a biggie. It just...

12:15It feels fine, but I couldn't talk for like a week. And now I'm supposed to talk like 15 minutes an hour, so I'm sitting here like, shit, I talked for like 30 seconds before. I can't say something now, so I'm just like... Wait, how was the day to put you under? Yeah. But they didn't give me any fun drugs after. They're like, here's a prescription for extra-shank Tylenol. Like... Alright. Yeah. Thankfully it didn't hurt, so I was fine. Yeah, you see, shit. I'm good. What does it feel like now? Can you tell? It just feels better. My voice feels... I was like really hoarse for like a month and I was trying to figure out what was up. It was from talking, like, it's not more than singing, right? It was like talking in loud environments. No, that's the thing is... So that's what you can get nodes and stuff from that. I got... I have to be covered in nodes. You don't notice it much if you're speaking, but the doctor is like, no, he's like, I don't know what caused it. Some sort of one-time injuries, like, it's not from singing, it's not from talking. Are you like Josh Potter or are you like Don't Go To The Doctor? No. You don't like the doctor? I'm not going to do the doctor's issue yesterday. Dude, I see a factor when I get a check. Every three months. I get everything checked. I'm neurotic. Not neurotic, I'm cautious.

13:16I have a longevity doctor, I have a doctor, and I go to the doctor every three months to get blood work, to get my heart checked. The best part about being financially sound is that you get to do all this stuff in this country, yeah. Yeah. You get to actually do all this stuff. What was the guy like, you know, drinks his son's blood or whatever the fuck that guy is? Oh, I met that dude. I was in the sauna with that guy, Brian Johnson. Doesn't he have some, like, a issue now that he can cure? He's like, done all this stuff and it turns out he like has something that's been eating him from the insides. Oh, genetics. Oh, my beautiful daughter, Georgia. Can you blur her face out, please? Actually, you never show, you don't. No, I showed all the time. You kidding me? Yeah. That's how we get to. Do you want to come on the pot? Like, come on the pot? Georgia, you want to hang out? No. Come be nepotos with us. I'm always fascinated by the nepoterm because there's people like Jack. I get it. Jack, um, Susan's a random son. Jack's a random? No, he's a Jack Robin. Jack Robin's. Oh, go.

14:17He's a Jack Robin also. Got it. Um, Jack Robbins does a bit about it and it's fucking hysterical. But like, I've never understood that part of the fun of Kurt Russell was that he was, what's his name's son? Part of the fun. But he was also great. And Michael Douglas. That's kind of the important thing. That's the issue. They're all great at what they do and they clearly put time into their craft. I think the reason especially in the social media eras become kind of a derogatory thing which I, both of us get. It's like so many people now are the kids of whoever and they're like, oh, well, I'm the kid of whoever. So I'm great at this. And it's like, no, no, you're not. You're not great. You didn't actually put any time into working at this skill, but they have a big platform. So they're able to grow a following with really nothing to back it. I think that's what people kind of people don't like undeserving nepotabies. I think when you look at Angelina Jolie, you don't think like, oh, it's only because of John Boy. You go, no, she's a great actor. Oh, I forgot her dad. He just told him. Exactly. Yeah. The goal is that, right? To be so fucked. You guys are fucked. Yeah, we're fucked.

15:17You know how hard it is to get bigger than kiss? We're not. No, it's not. Whatever. But the goal is to be like, I think it was possible. I thought about just doing a band reusing all their songs in French. You have no, the comments that we get. Well, just why? Well, just why. I already got the domain name for Smooch DM me and it's like, someone said that. They, they got it because they honestly thought we'd be interested in like, hey, you want to do a play on that word, right? No, I fucking don't. It's the same energy as people will come up to me and I've actually had people, random people come up and say, hey, I want to, I want to tell you sort of that is kind of crazy about your dad or this back in the day. And I've heard some stuff that's really fun or really, you know, whatever, kooky, but there's one phrase when ever someone comes up and goes, you're going to get a kick out of this. I don't know why it, why it's this way, but every time someone uses that, I've never gotten a kick out of it. It's the worst. And it's like, we get that kind of energy from a million comments. We know you hear the one I get. That is, when you feel it, you joke and then like, yeah, he goes, all right, this is black and you're like, yeah, fuck. So we take this, we pour this over this to melt this butter.

16:20When did you get into cooking, man? When I started dating Liam, I had a period of my life. She knew good. She was not. You know, one of the best decisions she ever made was to stop cooking. She goes, you know what, I'm done cooking. I was like, thank God. The dogs walked into the room. They're like, what did she say? My daughters are like, we're coming back from college. You know when the meal's over and somebody says, I'm full. You know, it's great night when nobody gets up from the table. That's my favorite part. Dinner's done. Plates are cleared. Nobody's hungry anymore. But nobody wants to leave either. Someone started telling a story. Somebody's laughing so hard they can't finish the story. Somehow one hour turns into three. Another drink. Sometimes that's time for another drink. Sometimes that's time for a dessert and sometimes it's a little edible or a nice outside on the back patio joint. That's where everything 420.com comes in. That's everything 420.com. Their app makes it ridiculously easy to browse legal THC products from your couch, whether

17:23you're looking for edible flower, vapes, dummies, or accessories, it's all right there. They carry trusted brands like Stizzy, Pacquids, Cakes, Cookies, and Runs in the best part. I don't have to leave my house. I just open the app, place my order, and it shows up fast, discrete shipping, right to my door. And if you're feeling adventurous, you should check out their mystery box. Pick your favorite category and they're going to send you a surprise box packed with way more product than you've paid for. I mean, take a look in there. Go to everything 420.com. Use code BERT for an extra 15% off your order again. That's everything 420.com code BERT. Football season is back, baby. And it's heating up every week feels bigger with draft kings. I didn't realize it was starting last week. I got on the treadmill.

18:24I didn't even realize it was Sunday, all the sudden. My team versus Tom's team and we had a personal bet. I can place a real bet. Draft kings is now live in all 50 states. One app, all the football nationwide. New Draft Kings customers sign up with code burning. Spend five bucks get $150 in rewards within 14 days includes all markets. That's code burning in partnership with Draft Kings. The crowd is yours. Gambling problem called 1-800-Gamber. On 800 My Reset, Connecticut called 888-7897777 visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Kansas, a tax pass through May applying Illinois 21 and over, void in Canada. Bet with Draft Kings sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days or trade with Draft Kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. Event contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 click to claims every seven days for 14 days. Terms at decayng.co slash offer. Limited time offer. Fund based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state.

19:27Lian has the best social media handle. Her Instagram is wife of the party. Yeah, that's awesome. With no numbers or anything, it's just she is. She is a. She's a real fucking saint. Like you ever think like your mom's a fucking saint. No, yeah, I know that one. Yeah, that's it. I mean, like like my, so one of my favorite stories. So I meet his dad 25 years ago in 2000. So 26 years ago and we have a bad interaction. And I talk about it on Rogan. Oh, please, please give him the detail. It's it was pretty epic. What did he say? I mean, he was like, I mean, it's, it's, there's so much to it. So it's first of all six, in his own defense, it was like six in the morning. You have to defend him. He's we do, we're doing a show. He's selling at the time, kiss coffins. He's got kiss coffin. Double his coolers, by the way. And he, uh, and, and, uh, and he's on the show.

20:29Very interesting. He, he, he came in and to check his own lighting, which was really fast. I've never seen someone do that before. He's vain. We will. So he gets there early and then he goes to his green room. And now I am as a child, uh, I have to say, and as a young adult and up in my whole life, the number one kiss fan. I mean, when Ace really came up with his solo album in like 87, I bought that. Like when Peter Chris left the band, I was heartbroken because that was my guy. I mean, uh, 7-11 used to sell kiss cups and my parents would wake me up by playing the 7-11 commercial that was come on and they'd be like, Bert and I'd probably got a bed. I was obsessed. I was obsessed with kiss. There are pictures of me, plethora of pictures of me dressed as your dad, your dad, and, uh, Peter Chris. Never. And Ace Freely. Everyone. I dressed as everyone. I mean, one of my, one of my strongest memories is driving to school in my mom's black

21:33leotards, what, underwear, white underwear, uh, her knee high boots, uh, her, whatever chain belt she had, draped, draped across my face, uh, as, as Ace Freely and in the chronics of my dad's shirtless with a cape on and my dad was like, do you want to bring a change of clothes? And I said, no. And he goes, you, what if you get cold? I said, I won't get cold. I'm in my best outfit. Like, trust me. And he was like, well, what if not everyone else is dressed like this? And I go, then I'll look like the coolest guy. It's cool. Right. So like, to say, I mean, I dressed as his dad. Or in time, I might have been your dad. There's a picture, but you can find it. We will get it and put it up here. And I did a talent show. And so it was, uh, party all, uh, all night and rock and roll, rock and roll all night and party every day, right? More or less. Yeah. Close enough. So I did a talent show. It was the, it was when they said, in first grade, when they said, we have a talent show, I went, just help me take in this fucking trophy home.

22:33And so I signed up number one on the thing. I go easy. I put on a costume. That's a deal. I mean, I already got the win. All I have to do is walk out on stage and then I'll just air guitar. I'll just play the music, the music crushes people going to hear the music. I'm going to air guitar. And, uh, I put on the outfit. I hit, I have the album ready to go. It was a tape. We were no tapes yet. I had the album ready to go. And the dude next to me has a violin. And he goes, what instrument are you playing? And I was like, huh? He was like, instrument for the talent show. And I said, instrument. No, I'm going to play this record. I'm going to jam out. And he was like, so you want him a talent per se? And I went, huh? And at that moment, I remembered a talent. Oh, shit, just like the band. And I was like, I was like, fuck, I don't think I thought this through. And so I did not win. But man, I fucking jammed out so hard. I mean, I think I hurt myself. Afer conviction. So that is my childhood, right?

23:34When the makeup came off, I was a Pat Fagans house. I was heartbroken. That Christmas, that the haunted amusement park, the music. Was that a Kiss Me, Safan on the Park? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was at Pat Fagans house. I remember the day Pat Fagans stopped listening to kids to start with the same to Elvis. And I was like, I can't go to his house anymore. I was obsessed with this band. Sixth in the morning. One of my four heroes is two doors down. And they come to me and they're like, would you like to interview Gene Simmons? And I was like, my life has led me to this point. I said, I think I'll be good. And they're like, we have many pre-everything. We worked out fine. Everything worked out fine. This is gonna be perfect. He is gonna be so excited when he finds out that I'm a fan. He's gonna like be like, shut the fuck up. You like Kiss. And you like to me? Hold on, you're telling me you're right. These are all things that I think are gonna be the top of it. It's all humility. That's just what you think of when you see it. Can I see how far your tongue is? I go, Gene, you're gonna fucking love this. It's actually decent. It's a nice tongue. It's because I was fucking young doing it my entire childhood.

24:37Knock on the door. Door opens, it's Gene Simmons. I'm just Simmons. My name is Shhh. He shuts the door and I went, okay. I didn't go the way I thought it would. Maybe he's on a call. I'll give him a minute. I sit there for a second. Another knock on the door, door opens and he goes, you again? I said, yeah, and he just shut the door. I went, all right, don't worry about it. I'll catch him in hair and makeup. I've got to do a pre-interview. So I sit in hair and makeup and I'm getting hair and makeup. He comes in and he goes to get his hair and makeup done. I go, so Mr. Simmons, I'll be interviewing. He goes, can you, it's very early. Can you please give me a minute? And I went, yeah, I do no pre-interview. I then get the producers walking in my room and they're like, I heard it's not going so hot with Gene. And I said, who said that? And they're like, Gene. And they're like, what? And they're like, he would rather someone else interview him. He doesn't want you to interview him.

25:37And I was like, I don't think I've gotten to say anything to him. I was like, let me tell him I'm a big fan. And he goes, and so I go to his door again. I knock on the door. He has not excited. I go, Mr. Simmons, I gotta tell you, I'm the biggest kiss fan in the world. And he goes, he goes, good for you. And he shuts it all. I'm like, okay, so I go listen. I go, I can win this back. I go, let me do the person that's interviewing, Daphne. Let me tell her all the questions I have about Kiss. And then she's gonna leave. So I give her all my pre-interview questions that I'm obsessed with. She sits down, it's me and her, and Gene Simmons. And the interview goes fucking glowing. And she says in the interview, he's like, this is, I can't believe how much you know about Kiss. She says, I'm like, tell you, Bert, Gene. Bert here is the biggest fan of Kiss. And he goes, really? And I'm like, all right, we connected. Cameras or break, we got to go to commercial. And then I go, I gotta tell you, and he goes, hey, turn around. He says, excuse me, there's, turn around. I'm speaking to someone. What? I might, and I'm like, huh?

26:38And he's like, please, I'm speaking to someone. So he's talking to Daphne. I have to try, it's my show. I turn my back, and I'm like, ah, they go back from commercial. And I'm like, okay, I get, and so then at the very end, he comes up and he goes, all right, fan boy, you wanna get a pick? And I was like, I'm good. I call my mom, I go, fuck Gene Simmons. And I was like, this is the worst. So then I tell this story on Rogen, I tell this story a couple times. But didn't he say something like, at the end of this? I mean, you told me he said, get this guy the fuck outta here. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that, I'm leaving. Well, because it all writes, the boat writes itself. I'm getting locked out of here. It was the sort of figure for me. When you told me that, I was mortified. And so Mark Cronin, my executive producer, was like, I think they're gonna want you to leave the interview. And I was like, it did not go well. I've told this story a couple times. I get blocked by Gene. What? I got blocked by Gene on Twitter. What? I wouldn't know. Yeah. And so.

27:39Jesus dude. And so, wait, can I, so can I preface the redemption bit with something? Please. I take him to Bert's show, not knowing the story. I take it at the forum. And, you know, Dad's like, look, there is us on the wall at the forum, what we've played here at the forum. And then I, you know, oh, yeah, I'm big fan of this guy. Like him. And then he already loves Christina. Because she's Hungarian. They've already spoken Hungarian to each other. Wow. So he's like, oh, he's part of that. Okay, that's great. He has no memory of this interaction with you at all. Zero. And then he tells me that. He takes me side and he goes, you know, no, no, no. Yes, sorry. Go ahead and come over. And I said, dude, and now I know he's been on my image. I think he's fucking hysterical, really approachable, really regular. Anyone who listens to podcasts, I always get that, if you, you know, I get that world of time in that world. I listen to podcasts and he comes up and he's like, great show, whatever, you know, I would love to introduce him to my dad and I went, I'm good. And he went, what? And I said, I'm good. And he goes, why?

28:40And I said, I had a bad interaction with your dad. And he goes, hold on for a second. He gets his mom and he comes over and he goes, can you tell it to my mom? And I go, I rather not. And she goes, don't leave out any detail. So I give this, I tell them the story and hear mom is backstage of the forum. Yeah. Is his backstage? I'm shirtless. He's over there. My parents are there. My parents are there. My family. My daughters, my sister, Georgia was there. And I tell the story and his mom is like, almost enjoying it. The way I love to trash Tom. She's loving it. And she goes, let's make him apologize. And so you can, that's dead. So, Dean comes over and he has clueless. And he goes, it was a fantastic show. You're a real talent. And his mom and him go, hold on a second. Can you tell my dad the story you just told us? And I go, I rather not. It didn't go well the first time. He's like, wait, I'd love a good story. And I go, I don't think you're going to like this one.

29:42I was like in 2000. I was on a show called The Action. And he goes, never heard of it. And I was like, OK, this tracks. I tell the whole story and his dad looks at me. And he goes, I have been known to misbehave. I would like to sincerely apologize. I don't remember any of this. But it sounds a lot like me. You also, you told a very nice, you were even nice then. You were like, you left out the fuck off. I left out. And so I chimed in. I go, you told him to fuck off. Yeah, I would go, no. I go, yeah. And he was very apologetic. Is that my favorite? Yeah. I already put it in. No, I did all of it. Garlic, I chopped it up already. But it was that we hugged. He gave me $5 for my troubles. He did. He gave me $5 and he signed it. And he signed it on my back.

30:45And someone took a picture and posted it. And the internet comments were, Gene Simmons just colored Bert shirt. And I was like, what? The internet always gets it right. The internet, Jesus. They really do. They really just 10 out of 10 to the accuracy. The internet, man. So the reason I don't comment on anything, because you're never right, you're always wrong. We've spent way too much time on the internet the last year. And I've just, I've learned. It's, there are a lot of lovely people out there and none of them are online. The fuckers always try to out- What if that the fucking proof? I mean, it almost makes you say, like, and I know there's people hearing this going, yeah, but I comment on the internet. And that's not me. And you go, no, it is. Yeah. Well, we, I also don't know, we talk about this. How many people do you know in real life that leave me and YouTube comments on someone they don't know? I don't think I know anybody. So who are these people? Like, we just, no, we definitely do know. Who? We just don't know. But like, no one would, no one who would- Sitting at home.

31:46He never admitted to it. He said he would never- Really? I don't know anyone who would admit to that behavior. But clearly, there's a lot. No, there's a ton. I want to know who these people are and if they have, you know, who their friends are. Marsha's a burner for sure. No way. For sure. Your old bandmate does this? There's no way Marsha doesn't have a burner. Happy people don't do this. Yeah. If you're happy with your life, you don't feel the need to go lady Gaga, fuck you. Like, you know, I mean- I've definitely gone back at a couple of people. Like, late at night, I've seen a couple of things. I'm just in a mood. It's 3 a.m. I'm alone. I'm like, yeah. I've never even come in it back. And I've wanted to come it back. And by the way, there's a guy I did a rant today about a guy, I watched a video a guy did about a friend of mine who's going through some rough times. And a guy left a really nasty video commenting on my friend's life. And I know my friend's life. And I know that it was somewhat inaccurate and it bothered me. And it got really in my feelings. And I let- And I did this. I'm not going to post this. I don't think. But I, you know, one of the things that's very popular,

32:46people that don't like me, clip out, Bert Crasher crashes out. Right? That's a very popular. Gets a lot of views. Bert Crasher crashes out over Joe Rogan. But Joe Rogan cancels Bert Crasher. And it's like, none of that's real. But they get views. And so I thought I'm going to do my own crash out moments. Like, why not monetize what I'm already good at is crashing out. And so I did a crash out on this guy who did a video about a friend of mine going through a rough patch in his life. And I fucking torched him. And it was so mean. And it was so arrogant. And it was so fucking the internet would love it. If I said it right now, they'd clip it out. And they're dicks, we get hard. Their fat wife would be like, what are you doing? What are you doing? He's like, shut the fuck up, horror. I'm getting those views. If you want a bass fishing boat, then goddamn it, I gotta make my YouTube channel. I'm a YouTuber, honey. Whenever you heard you do accents, it's decent. I'm great at accents. I want to do a cooking show. Where I want to do a cooking show, where I do it in the accent of the people I make the food for.

33:46No, it was decent. I like that. I was going to make a little bit of spaghetti. It's small, big, giant spaghetti meal. I shouldn't have said this. OK. I feel bad. I'm too bad at making you steak. So I just gotta be like, I hope you guys sport the military. Looks awesome. Put some curry powder on there and go for it. You guys shoot guns. I bet the sound guy loves it when they're... You're talking about Joe Rogan. Oh, you mean my primary source for news? By the way, I have to say he clearly was mine for a very long time. I mean, I cross... Let me tell you, I got Anderson Cooper's number. I call Joe Rogan Perse. I go, you tell me about fucking Pep Ty. Yeah, you're like, that is this guy has CTE. If you think Joe Rogan's misinformed you, you should see me. I call him personally. Have you seen the clip of Gillis and... Hold on. If you're saying if I see the clip of Gillis, that's like... I think Ari and on Rogan and him telling him,

34:47Hey, do you hear about the bribery thing? I pay $100,000 and get early tweets from the president. And Joe's like, no. I go, yeah, your algorithms, fuck, man. Like... I... No, that can't be true. He wouldn't do that. Not my boy. Not my special boy. I... Jesus Christ, dude. My algorithm is just shameless. Well, first of all, I love Shane. You fucking fend for me. I love Shane, but it is all my algorithm. And can I tell you... He's one of the goats, man. There's a lot of comics that are jealous of him right now because he's doing such big things. When you're not jealous of someone and they blow up and it's like him and Theo are my two joyful algorithms. I've watched... Yeah, I don't get it. I don't understand that. Especially if you're friends with the person. Like, I get sometimes... A little bit of the same thing with music when you see your friends. They try to pit us, you know? You know, a friend's band blow up. And I have friends who have gotten so jealous of others. I'm like, no, they're making great music and they're doing well. They're good people. It's good for everyone, man. This is a good thing. I like it.

35:47No way to if it seems undeserved. If this material is blows, there's no reason for this. But like, people try to do that to me and him or me and my sister. They're trying to be like, my sister's doing really well with songwriting. It's like killing it. Even going back to kiss, it's fun. Aren't you jealous? People give our dads a ton of shit for the makeup and the costume and everything. But if you strip all of that away, the songs are great. And talk about harmonies. It's funny. On the last tour watching, they're like, wait, their harmonies are fantastic. There's just so much other stuff going on that it almost can take a back seat. But you have to build on something. Can I defend your father's for a second? Is, here's the thing. I will say I share a common ground with them. It is very easy to shit on something that's got a thing. Like if there's a guy who performs shirtless. Yeah. I'm a lot like KISS. I mean, they formed what I loved. And I understood what your dad's thought is like, listen, there's a million vans out there.

36:48What's a hook? Yeah, it's a hook. And when I did my first special shirtless, I thought I thought I was wrong. But I was like, if you see someone's shirtless, you're gonna go, what is that? Well, I didn't realize that when television, you're in someone's shirtless and you're living room, you turn it off. That's my special did really poorly. I didn't realize that it's in a front to be shirtless in someone's living room. But that same thing that got you to turn the television off and the internet wasn't what it was when I did that special, when you see someone's shirtless on the internet, you click on it because you're like, what is that? And so it did help me on the internet. It didn't help me on television. Brad Pitt gets both. Well, the head of showtime was like, I think you're giving people a reason to turn the channel. So like, can we just do it with your shirt? And I went, yeah, but this is how I do all my, this is how I do all my stand-up. Are you going back to shirt? No, never going back to shirt. And so, but it's very lazy for someone to criticize kiss because they wore makeup.

37:49That's a lazy take, you know? And it's an easy take. And quite honestly, if you're gonna criticize, I know whatever. Find something, oh, there's plenty. Well, the comments that we get are hilarious because most of the people trying to shit on us are due to the dads and they haven't even listened to stuff. Yeah, and again, we talk about them because it's easy to focus on. It's actually been really surprisingly positive. I mean, we've been, I was like, I was expecting a lot more fuck you when we started this. People that are really cool. I mean, the reason we're going on tours because the response has been unexpectedly positive. So we focus on the negative because that's what I do. Yeah, it's focused on the negative. To me, as people, you'll see online saying, yeah, the tour nobody wants me. I don't know, man, we're selling a lot of tickets. Like, I don't know how to tell you. So I don't like when an hour, like... I don't like when people speak for everyone. Why? And then like the tour nobody wants. And you're like, people... Well, hang on, you didn't say that to me. I didn't say that. People do believe that their sincerely whole opinion is the truth.

38:50They really do believe it. Man, I go through cigar phases. And the best thing about a cigar phase is for me, I get those sampler packs. And then those sampler packs sit and marinate. And you know it's good when the plastic turns a different color. You know it's been marinating for a while. And these are from a sampler pack. I got from cigars international. And I mean, double broadleaf, shut up. If you're running low on your favorite cigars, cigars international is the ultimate destination for premium handmade cigars. When it's time to restock, go wear selection and value lead the industry. With the largest sortment available, your favorites are always ready to ship. No excuses to wait. Cigars international now offers free shipping every day. No codes, no minimums. Your go-to cigar retailer every time. Cigars international is for all things cigars with the biggest selection of premium handmade cigars available anywhere. Cigars international offers unbeatable deals and discounts,

39:51making it easy to stock up on your favorites or try something new without breaking the bank. I'm telling you, that's the move. That's how you find out your new favorite brand. I've never heard of Alec Bradley before. All of a sudden they're sent up a cigar sampler packet. I love Alec Bradley. Time to stock up again. Use my code burning and check out for 20% off your order of $50 or more or visit www.cigarsinternational.com size burning. And the discount will automatically apply. Some exclusions apply. You probably know now that I love goodles. I love them. The nutrient-packed mac and cheese that I can't get enough of. I love it. But more importantly, as a dad, I love it because I know it's nutritious and it's good for my daughters. I know for a fact that right now, one's in college, one just moved to a new city. They are not flooded with money. They don't go out to eat. They try to buy and spend as little as possible. And I know that if I send them goodles,

40:52they're gonna be eating healthy. And goodles has a new spin on mac and cheese. By the way, I just sent these boxes to both the girls because they come with spoons. That's right, there's two spoons. But these are their twirly mac. It's a revolutionary noodle with a little twist, a unique fork-spinnable noodle that means every bite is more saucy, more cheesy, more delicious. And it comes with two really cool spoons. You can't really see them, but it comes with two really cool spoons. So I sent two of these packets to both my girls. One to Georgia, one to Iowa, and they love them. And just like all goodles products, they've nailed it in nutrition with twirly mac. 14 grams of protein, seven grams of fiber in each serving, a low glycemic index for steady energy vitamins and minerals from whole food sources and intentional ingredients, real cheese, no fillers, no GMOs, trust me. You need to experience goodles, new spin on Mac.

41:56Pick up goodles, twirly mac online or on your next shopping trip, available nationwide at major grocery stores and retailers. Well, also people talk about trying to drive a wedge too. We get comments that try to pit us against each other all the time, which is like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Do you like the band or not? Yeah, it's like, what are you doing with your life? Yeah, people do that with, you know, again, a lot of classic bands, they're like, Neil Perk was the best, his bandmates never fucking appreciate him. It's like, do you like the band or do you want them to break? What's the goal here? Like you want to, Mick is always better than Keith. Nah, no, Keith is always way cooler than Mick. I go, why don't you just listen to a stone's record, man? Like, what are we doing? This is narrowed shit. I mean, this is crazy. This is like, do you like spock or Kirk better? It's like, get out of your fucking work. What's the curve? Just watch the, yeah. But let's watch the show. You know, why don't we just watch the show? We just watch the show. You know, I just, weird, I don't know. But I also like, I think you guys have the right take-a-biz. Like if you put yourself in the public eye in any sense, you are volunteering to be a criticize

42:56and I think that's all for the good. I think anybody who's like, I don't want to get criticized, like I'll show them. I'm like, no, no, no, that's the deal. You go and throw on a camera. That's the price for doing what you love to. You get shit on the end. So like, I think I welcome it. I hope they're harsh. I don't give a fuck. Enjoy it. Like, I really don't care. Well, the truth is, it's like, and I feel bad because I've punished the people that love me because I don't read comments. So like, if you leave a positive comment on this, I'll never see it. Now, here's the reason. Less interesting. I got, well, it's not less interesting. It makes me feel good. It doesn't make me feel good. Equally is what the bad one makes me feel bad. The bad one makes me feel bad so much more. But I can't allow someone access into my personal feelings. My brain is not a great place. I'm not in love with it. But I deal with it. And I can't have other people coming in, fuck with my brain. And you know, it's like, the reason I've changed numbers, this is my number gets leaked. And then when someone can call me, I mean, only call you because they're with their boys and they're like videotaping and they're like, dude, you fucking suck. Ha! And you're like, oh man, I was with my kids.

43:57I'm in the park. Like, I can't let you do that to me. So that's why I stand in the comments. And I don't mean it. It bums me out that I do it. But it's how I... I can't imagine what it's like for you because we're, I mean, we've taken half a baby step. And already, I kind of log off the comments too. Because like you said, it's great to hear the nice ones. Yeah, you hear one bad when you're like, cool, that's my day right there. Yeah. I don't want to give them my emotional energy. I got to write songs. I got to do all the other stuff. So your level, it must be, you know, it must be far beyond, you know, what we do with it. You know what? It's, I'll tell you what, the payoff is, I have a nice house. Yeah, my kids get to go to college. I can't pay for it. It is the price you pay for any sort of public work is that you get to be judged and talked about by the public. The thing that sucks is that my daughter would have to deal with it like my daughter. Yeah, that I hate. Is that a fucking hate? Yeah, pulled up to you on the Royal Canyon. Oh yeah. So I was helping this other, we had this band called The Velvet Day Dream open up for us for one of the early gigs

44:57that we tried out. Through a big house party, basically. And we threw a big house party. We brought them in and they had this like school bus that they toured in that they converted into a tour bus. And I was helping this guy with gear in this other way. So I pulled up my car and I kind of put my hazards on. And I was about to like help him with stuff. And this guy was like laying on his horn behind me. I was like, I'm not a Royal Canyon, like a busy guy. It's not on like, it's an off street. It's one of those sort of small residential streets, right? So there's like, you know, if I had seen that, I would have just gone around whatever there's no one there. But he pulls up next to me and then triple parks and starts to yell at me and I go, dude, just go around and I see him kind of register me and then he goes, you should probably move your car. Oh, and your dad sucks. And then he drives away. And I kind of go, all right, all right. Okay, like, because like, he's parked wrong. Like, dad sucks. And but I was like, what does he think is going to happen after that? Am I going to go, oh my God, he sucks. I'm going to stop talking to this man. I'm going to, I'm done with him forever. Like, that just changed my life.

45:58Hey, my dad sucks. Wait, my dad sucks. I didn't know. Dad, did you know that you suck? I didn't realize and he goes, I do. And he's in raw gonna, yeah, you should kill yourself. Okay, I'm going to do it today. Click and then that's, that's, he thinks it's going to have some sort of big impact. And really it's just going, that's a bummer that that guy dislikes me. But to take the extra step into yell it is weird to me. Unless you're like a war criminal, I get yelling at that guy on the street. But there's a lot of celebrities I hate. I would never walk up to a celebrity who's movie I fucking hate and go, boo, you know, like fuck you. I'm just going to not watch that film. How long taking another step? Would you walk up to their brother? And by the way, not a celebrity. By the way, they're kid. They're, they're, you're not even walking up to the person you don't like. They're walking up to someone who's related to them or knows. I hated Conair. So I walk up to Nick Cage's son and I go, fuck your fucking dad's movie. And it's like that guy didn't do anything. He says he was born. It's just born. You remember when they used to do that to, they used to do that to like Obama's kids. They used to be like, look at this fucking,

46:58this fucking, and she's just going to school. Like she's like 12 and they're like, fucking this, oh, the book. And she's like, hi, I'm a little girl. Like I just want to play with Barbies. And this is growing up. That's, that's, that's fucked. That's a, I can't, I can't get behind that man. It's, it's not a relative thing is fucking, but it's also like, you know, woe is me says the man from the castle, you know, because it's like, I think people, I know we had no complaints. We have a great life. Yeah, I have zero complaints. I have a really great life and I'm, and I'm, you know, I'm really happy. And the things I'm upset about have nothing to do with them. Yeah. It's with me. It's like, this shit I'm going through personally as an artist and as a dad and as a husband as a guy who's got an exterior lifestyle. But also the reason those people are saying that is also because of that, right? Something happened that day. They had road rage or something about it and that you were the punching bag for their emotional life because you're in front of their face. It would almost make it great if he didn't know who your dad was but that was his go-to thing. Your dad sucks. Yeah, it's like your mom, I fucked your mom.

47:59It's like one of those just general, oh bro, it'd be crazy like if like Jenna Jamison's kid years, I fucked your mom in these like, oh, I could have been. Probably. But even then, I understand people who shit on me on the internet because I do it to people. I do it, I've done it. And it's like, and I didn't mean it. I, there was a kid who shit on me on the internet. He's, and he was, he was a friend of a friend of mine. And he, and the kid goes, Bert Christchurch. And I was like, oh, I know this guy. And so I clicked follow. I clicked like real quick. And then I clicked follow. And then I went to their page, I shall follow both of them giving me a little love on the internet. And then I went back and watched a video and the guy's like, Bert Christchurch fucking sucks. And I was like, oh, I've already followed him. Like, well, that smells good. I find that I can't tell. The two things that really do throw off, people like that is one, you agree with them. You, you double down and self-deprecate. You go like, yeah, you're right. It really does blow. I should probably kill myself. And then they don't know where to go. Or you do what you do.

48:59You follow them and try to make friends. And then they don't know what to do. Oh. Because they got your attention, which is kind of what they wanted in the first place. And they go like, well, I don't know, I was just trying to, I mean, someone said something like anti-Semitic to you. You talk to that part of that guy. I was like, crazy anti-Semitic. Put your Jewish DM, yeah, or like. Or my tax loss. It's like. Only ethnically. It's a, and I called him out. And like, we've gotten a couple anti-Semitic things. Like, that's the only one we're like, Oh, your Jewish too, to toast for everybody. Look at my face. Look at my fucking face. That's funny. Yeah, it's my face. Where did the curls come from? But yeah, and I was just like, hey man, like, that's, because it was one of those weird ones that like, do you hate me or do you like me? Because you said a bunch of anti-Semitic shit. And then he said something like really nice stuff. And I'm like, I, what? So I, I do mess. And then he just, he sent me, I was with Nick, like probably seven minutes of multiple voice notes being like, you know, like, I was just messing around with him. The guy voice note at him. You know, like, Jews do run Hollywood.

49:59But like, I'm just asking like, do you know anyone who isn't Jewish who's in Hollywood or in a big band? But like, you know, I didn't mean it like that. Like we're good, man. But like the Jews do kind of run everything. And like, so he has this idea. Oh my god. I don't even know what he's like. He has like this sincere idea. And he thought he didn't realize it was much of an insult, really. He was just like, yeah, we all know it, right? Jew. And he kind of whipped it out. And when we were like, hey man, cool with the end of Seven to them. He was like, oh, I'm not anti-Semitic. I'm not. I didn't mean like that. What do you mean about like, you Jew? Yeah, like that's, yeah. That's a weird way to start a DM. Joe Pesci. You Jew might a fucker you. I'm like that's a fucker. You Jew. But I'm not anti-Semitic. And he's like, he had this weird cognitive dissonance. We're like, oh, this guy's just been fed some bad info. Yeah. We do run everything. But other than that, well, the Jews, what, hang on. Did Jews started Hollywood? I don't know if they run it, but they definitely started it. Can I tell them the story about Dad watching the news? Okay. So, so do you know, so when Kanye started the, his Jew brands? I already love where there's this going.

51:00So Kanye started, this is pre swastika t-shirts. But post him talking about the Jews in general. Yes. So Kanye starts talking to his Jew shit. And Dad is, I was, I went over to my parents house and Dad is kind of kicking his feet up watching the news. And it's like, Kanye says something along lines of like, you know, the Jews just run Hollywood. And then without missing a beat, my dad turns over his shoulder and he goes, we do. And he turns around and without missing a beat. And I kind of go, what was that? And he goes, no, it's true. And I'm looking and my mom's in the background and she goes, the fuck is wrong with you? Like, you're like, and he goes, no, like historically, and he just weighs in and he goes, oh, I would talk about how they were. It used to be a Vodville and used to be looked down upon. But the way he said it sounded like, yeah, I'll take you to the meetings. You know, like, where we control the weather. And I was like, excuse me? Pardon me? What the fuck was that? That's crazy. I do, I heard a guy, I won't say the guy's name, he's a friend of mine. And he was talking to a very famous comedian, a very famous actor, and they were explaining

52:02how the Jews run Hollywood. And I was like, and I was like, I gotta be honest with you man, like Stacy's Jewish. And I said, do you ever hear the thing about like, the Jews have horns? Tell him, tell him right now. You, you, don't. The gist of it is, my dad was with a nice young lady who started poking around in his hair and when he was like, what are you dealing? She was looking for horns. This is a very long time. A young girl that came on tour. The funniest part of that story. I heard that from you. Yeah. Paul told it to dad who told it to me. Yeah. You know, this is gonna sound naive, but like, I'd hear the thing about horns and I'd laugh hysterically and go, it's funny. And then I'd make a joke about it casually. I didn't realize people actually believed that. I didn't know that people actually believe that until you told me that story eight months ago. I don't know how many of them are left, but there's some probably. Come on, I'm like, who actually believes? I think I was the one who was like, fucking this, socks. He's got a crazy head of hair and he was like,

53:03he's like, yeah, it's a Jew fro. That's all it is. Open Uncle Bald. Yeah. But so when I hear people talk about anti-semitism, I assume they're joking. I assume it can't be real. I assume they're making a joke about the people that believe that. And then there I am with two guys that are really talking about Jews running Hollywood. And I'm sitting down and I'm laughing. And they get into this. They stop laughing. And they start saying they go, I mean, the proof is in the fucking. How many movies do we have to hear about this? Goddamn Holocaust. And I was like, well, he's a pretty big event. And they're like, yeah, it's got a big deal. They go, I mean, can you imagine two movies about the Titanic? I mean, they did one. We get it. And I was like, well, six million is a little different than like 700. Yeah. And they were like, I mean, and they were just going on and then, and then they started talking about actors who shouldn't be famous, but are because they're Jewish. And I'm like, oh, you guys are being serious. And I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. And then, yeah. And I was like, oh, I didn't know that you could, I was like, I always believed in the joke of making fun.

54:05Like, make fun of a Jewish guy because Jewish as a joke to make fun of people doing that joke as opposed to really believing it. Well, we've had those moments where we've talked about this. You know when you're in a group of people and there's like the new person you're joking about, something what you're joking about is the absurdity that someone actually believes this. Yes. Playing the game. That dude's like, yeah. Right. Am I right? What excuse me? What? Did you laugh for the same reason I laughed? Yeah. It's a very weird feeling when you realize that you're laughing at the same thing for very different reasons. I saw somebody, by the way, he's ignoring all the slavery movies. Is that not track onto the narrative? Like they're, well, what's the, it's like, it's like a lot of those. Like what do we get special attention? Have you ever been like robbed? And then as the guy's going to rob you, you think, oh, this must be a prank? No. No, that's never happened. You're up in Beverly Hills and pretty sheltered. It just became fall in my opinion in LA. We just started getting cold nights where you need a sweatshirt to go out to the fire pit, have a nice little moment with your wife.

55:08And if you're like me, crack a mountain dew. I'm telling you right now, these mountain dews hit awesome. It's not fall until you get out there. Don't want to sweater, put on your boots, crank up the fire pit, and grab a pack of mountain dew, the American original. Mountain dew is the perfect drink for good times with friends and family. So the other day I said to the end, I feel like me and you talking about vacations. We run a vacation mood. We grabbed two mountain dews, poured them over ice, went out to the fire pit, and we planned our year full of vacations, the kind of tailgates we want to do, the kind of fall activities we want to do before it turns winter. What we want to do over near Zeeve, thank you Mountain Dew. You know that bolt on the moustacheable taste of Mountain Dew? It actually goes all the way back to 1948 when two brothers first created it in the foothills of Tennessee. Since then, it's become a classic for anyone who loves that crisp, citrus kick. As the weather starts to cool down, Mountain Dew is the perfect companion

56:09for all those fall moments, whether you're hanging out around the bonfire, out by your fire pit, heading on a road trip with friends or just enjoying the outdoors. So grab an ice cold mountain dew, make the most of the season, create some memories with the bold taste that's been refreshing fans since 1948. Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew, an American original, tasting great since 1948. Look for Mountain Dew and stores near you. Magic spoon just figured out how to turn treats into something you actually feel good about eating. If you love sweet snacks but hate the sugar crash, this is about to be your new obsession. I don't have them here. We've already eaten them. They're their magic spoon treats. They're amazing. Everyone's trying to get it. They're protein and fiber and daily. And this is an easy and tasty way. I love magic spoon granola. It is so good. And I know that I can itch that sweet itch I get and feel good about what I'm eating. Magic spoon treats are airy crispy protein packs snack bars

57:11with 12 grams of protein, seven grams of fiber, zero grams of added sugar, two to three net carbs and certified gluten free. And they genuinely feel like a treat, not some sad healthy bar. They're perfect to throw in your bag, putting a put your gym bag, have after a workout, grab between meetings or just eat at the end of the day when you want that sweet craving at the end of the night. Their flavors include marshmallow, chocolate peanut butter, double chocolate, and more, very nostalgic, very dessert-coded, but without loading up on sugar. If these hit that sweet tooth itch, I'm actually doing something for you, which is rare. They're indulgent enough to feel fun, but functional enough to justify eating any time in the day. And if you already know magic spoon for their cereal, yes, that's still iconic. Their high protein cereal brings all the childhood nostalgia with none of the sugar bomb. Each serving has 12 to 14 grams of protein, zero to two grams of sugar, and it actually keeps you full. They got classic flavors like fruity, frosted,

58:13cinnamon crunch, cocoa, peanut butter, and more. And you got to try these little pastry treats are amazing. Everything magic spoon does. Their granola is through the roof. Magic spoon is easy to find. Just look for magic spoon at grocery retailers nationwide. And if you haven't tried them yet, check out Magic Spoon Treats. A high protein, low sugar take on the cereal bars you grew up with. You can get $5 off your next order at magicspoon.com slash burning. That's magic spoon.com slash burning for $5 off. All right, I'm going to start cooking steaks. This drizzle is going to look great. It's turning more into a drizzle, a red wine drizzle. This looks amazing, doesn't it? It does. So, so, so. So great for blood pressure. I can't believe you did this while talking to us that your multitasking skill is crazy, man. I'm pretty good. All right, I'm not going to compliment you. I've got to tell you, do your parents ever discipline? OK, I wrote these Joe class night. Because I was at the black crow. The juice. OK.

59:13I was at the black crow's trucks and to the multitasking trucks and whiskey Myers. I say all the bands sell the bands deserve respect. But it was black crow. That's nice. And so, and I, and I noticed that Chris Robinson has talks rock star. What's up, Hollywood? Yeah. Monday night rock and roll. Did your parents ever discipline you with that? I need everyone down here for dinner. That'd be Paul, if anybody. I mean, that you never put much like, why'd you get a B on this? Did not he never went rock star on you? He never went Dr. Rock so. No, it's way scarier when he doesn't. And he was like, I made dinner. There's a meme going around of Paul Stanley calls you when you're sick. Have you seen that meme? No. That's pretty good. What is it? It's a guy doing a really good Paul stage anti-compression calling. Do you have a fever? It's like that. You know, it's not about really good, but he does the impression. It's making the rounds right now. Dude, I wish I didn't have this Paul up. I could do a pretty fucking different impression.

1:00:15Of you dead? Oh, yeah, I get Nick with it all the time. We'll be in the studio and just go off. You say it into the mic and I go, you cannot do that on the show. Like, we cannot. Well, I love it. It's so easy. We've switched places where, you know, our dads have spent 50 years together of Jean make my dad go, no, no, no, no, don't say that. Please don't do that. No, no, no, no. And we've switched. And now I get to needle Nick. And it's my favorite thing. Yeah. As your dad ever said, as you can see, it's what's great. My dad has a business partner, Larry Fuentes. And my dad said to me one time when I started being business partners with time, I have a business partner, Tom Sigerah. Now, I joke about Tom all the time, but there are things that I have made fun of Tom for that then I go thankful for. And my kids would know that. My kids like know my relationship with Tom. He's your dad ever said like, I mean, the merchandising, it kiss is crazy, then all the sudden, and like, hey man, this vacation's paid for by the coffins. Because your dad was in charge of merchandising. You know this, it was really a joint. Oh, for real? Yeah, I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

1:01:16I was just kidding. Everyone was like, my dad likes to talk about, yeah. About how much he loves money and whatever. But here's the thing, is like, I think they're different approaches to that, comes from a different child. People forget, my dad's hold thing about like money money. He literally acts like a Jewish stereotype. Like, and it's sometimes makes the rest of the family stress out a lot. That comes from poor immigrant mentality. Yeah. He was a 10 year old immigrant in New York like struggling to learn language. And that's that level of like, I must amass money so that no one can hurt me is that. So he forgets, he leaves that part out. He just goes, I love money. Fuck anyone who doesn't love money. Rich is good. He's totally non-immaterial. Jean is not a materialistic guy. It's like stuff at all. I've saw his shoes. He wears regular people's shoes. He wears free hats all the time. If you give him a hat, he'll wear it for 10 years. He doesn't know what's on it. Doesn't care. He wears dirty t-shirts and we'd stink. It's not about that. It is a wall between him and the starvation he felt when he was a kid. Yeah. So no one remembers that, but he talks about money more

1:02:17because of that point of view. And Paul was also like very poor, but he's poor in America. And he said, he said the sort of cultural training of, hey, it's kind of rude to like, rub someone's face in that. And dad doesn't have that background. He has the sort of, I claw my way into the American dream and fuck anyone who gets in my way. And it comes from that. But is what makes partnerships great? I mean, you have to have the same, I think, foundational values and the same goals. But having a great partner is having someone who balances out you and what you're good at and what you're not good at. I think it's something that really just by chance, but luckily clicked with us, whether it's personality or skill set or anything else, we really work together well because the total is a lot greater than the sum of the parts and we're able to accomplish more together. And with them, I think that's the case and it's why it's endured for as long as it has, is they have a common goal. And for any times that they weren't aligned on small things, you just zoom out and go, well, this is what we're really working on. Okay, great. It's easy to make decisions that way.

1:03:19I don't know, the Rolling Stone article they had when they were like, you know, 50 years of feuds and we kind of go, what feuds? Like in our experience, I was like, I heard Fleetwood Mac, I mean, fuck, there's a lot of more dramatic, interband relationships than them. They just had some members leave sometimes. Like that's, they actually fight a lot less than almost any band I've heard of. Like people like to get into, they kick these guys out and they kick into the curve, like well, dude, like if you're in a partnership with someone and all of a sudden, they're not showing up or occasionally they do show up, but in a capacity where they can't work or perform, you probably get pretty pissed too and that's not only your passion, but your livelihood. Well, 100%. You show up and you're on, you just drank a bottle of perfume and you're wasted at your mind and you can't play the part anymore. You kind of go, well, what do we do about that? And they tried for a very long time as far as I remember. I mean, this is all from their point of view, but they tried. They were like, we could make this work, we could find, but at some point you can't. Like they did it.

1:04:19Well, I have to play the show. Well, it's also evidenced by the records. You know, they were both those guys were still in the band for quite a while when they weren't playing on anything because that's a hard thing to let go of. You don't want people to leave. You don't want to send them away, but eventually the reality sets in a bit, it's either we continue or none of this continues. Yeah. So anyway, it's funny. I know the press they get and it's his fault, for sure, my old man has a huge mouth. But I respect that about your dad. I like it. I like it. I heard, and he leans into that character. It's actually not the 100% authentic. It's this asshole character. Like it works, I guess. The demon. I mean, that's good. But it's like also the business guy, fuck you guy. And at home, you know, in the, if you ask him to justify any of those statements, he will then take you down the history of like, oh, when I was a kid, I had nothing. And now I have this and I feel like people are always trying to take it. And then you kind of go, why don't you say that fucking part on CNN? So you'd be a little bit more.

1:05:19Out of that? Because sympathetic character. And he goes, no, I don't want to do that. It makes my life easier. He just, it's a really nice relatable part that explains everything. When I talked about music, he sounds like a musician. He freaks out of, he's a Beatles maniac and he freaks out about little things. And I kind of go, why don't you say that on Fox? No, I want to talk about the issues of the day. You're not supposed to. You're a musician. Talk about fucking music for a change. Well, when we were up there over New Year's, I found out I didn't realize this. Like, I'm a Graham Nash freak. I love Crosby, Silsan, I love the Hollis, but Graham, I can see that on a tablet. I love him. He's my favorite singer. I love his writing. I love his solo stuff. And he has these two solo records that really, you know, at the time, I guess they were moderately successful just because of who he was, but they weren't big records. I mentioned one to your dad, then he and I just started texting Graham Nash videos, deep cuts. I mean, he, both of our dads are such an nerds and such. Oh, he files. Historians when it comes to music. Like, it's such an easy way to reach. And the criticism of dead will often be, oh, he doesn't care about music, he just gives about money. It's like, yeah, that might be what he says. Talk to him about one of his favorite bands for five,

1:06:20five, 20 seconds. 20 seconds with that, dude. He will tell you trivia you've never heard before. He will tell you who is in the room when something was recorded. He'll be like, Oh, when, oh, when a land of a thousand dances by Wilson Pigot was recorded, this guy was standing in this corner. Yes, he's just. When this guy was standing in this corner and this guy played the triangle and the thing, and he just goes down this rabbit hole. So you go, oh, so you're not just business guy. You're an intense audiophile. You just don't think that'll sell. So you don't bring that out in public because you think your stick is working. And it's a shame. He does himself a disservice by doing that. Well, you know what? It's a disservice that quite honestly, history or remember is your, your dads are going down in history. I mean, there's, when you die, you take nothing with you except for your legacy and what you leave. You know what he says when people say that. What? He says, you know, you die. You can't take your money with you. He goes, fuck you, stuff my corpse with it. Stuff it into my casket, stuff it in my mouth. I'm taking it with me. That's great. Can I ask you real quick? Just as,

1:07:21so you guys are going to get on tour. Your first album is out. August 28th. August 28th. Basically only though. We're doing vinyl and CDs first. Okay, then here's my question. Yeah. As the spawn of the men that had in arguably, in my opinion, the best album covers ever. J. Giles. Kiss on a wall. What is your album cover going to look like? And what is your favorite kiss album cover? Oh, it's out. I'll show you. What's your favorite kiss album cover? That's hard. My favorite is either Rock and Roll over or Hot and Hell. I love both those covers. It's rock and roll over. Hold on, hold on. I got such cool covers. Can someone get me like an iPad or a computer with the kiss covers? Hey Siri, get me all the kiss covers. That's gonna sound weird. Yeah, so here's the album cover. Do you want to take a look, see? We have this great artist named Carmen. She goes by sketchy goat. Is everyone cool with medium rare? Yeah, yeah. Everyone cool with this. She drew this of us for fun and we bought it from her. And she's now designing a bunch of stuff for us, but this is the album cover. Wow.

1:08:22Wow, that's great. Yeah, she's fucking amazing. Here we go. This is the best podcast ever. This is so amazing. Like who would want to go on a just talky talky pod? This is amazing. Here you go. Dude, young. Okay, my favorite part of a, of a rib eye is this cap. You can get just the cap. You get some restaurants, but that is my favorite. On top of the eye. Okay. Dude, how often do you do this? I'd be the size of a house. I mean, Tom wrote a song about that, but remember? No. That is fat. That is, remember that whole song? Yeah. There's great, great bed lasted for 12 months. Well, it's lasted a lot a little longer. Reason I'm on peptide. You look slim, man. I based on the last footage I saw, you look half size. I lost 50 pounds. Damn, dude. Goddamn. Congrats. That's crazy. Well, it was. And our losing muscle like Tom did.

1:09:23We lost a lot of muscle. How do I, how does one, here I'm sorry, how do I off one hands here? You do me, I'll do you? Okay. By the way, we didn't mention this. Everyone thinks we're gay and then in a couple. We mean things. That's another thing. So you guys should really play into that. That's what we are. Oh, we are. Oh, we are. Oh, yeah. Okay, can I go on this tie rate for a second? Do you mind? I don't know which one, but I'm sure. The gay one. Oh, yeah. Okay. Whenever I see, and it's a sped, it's always like an older dude. Oh, this is. Call us gay. I click on his profile. Like they go, you guys are fucking gay. You were like gay, looking colors and whatever. Every single one of the profile pictures was taken like this. Yeah, with Oakley's on in the car. It's always that guy. Oakley's in the car. Oakley's in the car. Yeah. You know what it is. You know the guy. That is fucking brilliant. Oakley's on. Every fucking pig. Go team. I'm really, really, really, really nice. I got a million dollars. It says you also do this. Yep, that's right. That's right. So anyway, it's that guy.

1:10:23And evidently they go like one comment literally said, this is verbatim because I've screen shoted it and saved it. This is gay. Your dad's never dressed gay. Excuse me. I mean, arguably the gayest. Arguably the gayest. Arguably. Yeah. You're the gayer than David Bowie and Freddie Mercury and a hot tub together. Get the fuck out of here. What have you seen? What have you seen of them? Fucking hysterical. Jean literally licks Tommy on stage every night. They wore feather boas and pod pieces. Are you out of your fucking? But just so. And fucking move. That's not even the thing. So I click on these profiles and inevitably they will have pictures of rock stars that they like. It would be Prince, Mick Jagger, Bowie, Queen. And I go, sure. Everything you like is gay. Yeah. Everything. All of 70s rock is androgynous. That was the point. It was scaring the conservative parents by cross dressing and having long hair and wearing

1:11:25tight jeans. That was the whole point of rock music in the 70s. It was to transgress against the conservative buttoned up mad men culture. Yeah. At the time. So when you go, how did we become the most homophobic demographic rock fans? You used to be the most cross-dressy demographic of all time. It makes no fucking sense. It makes no fucking sense to me. Prince is the gayest straight dude in the world. Look at the way he dressed. Not even certain he was straight. Like that's how gay he was. But like how do you love that music and still get weird about a guy wearing too many colors? How? Did you? Yeah. How did you? Poison? How did the most homophobic people, the most homophobic people on earth like Judas Priest and Queen and Mick Jagger. And I kind of go, dude, have you seen any photos of your heroes? Yeah. Because I got news for you. They don't look like lumberjacks, do they? God. So it fucking drives me nuts. The hypocrisy of that drives me nuts. It's insane. Like dude, you like it. I know you do. That's why you're here. Embrace it. It's okay. When I was a kid, you get called gay, free and beat.

1:12:27I know. And yet we were all listening to people who were like dressed with like eye shadow and tights. And we didn't see any irony in that fact. This is so fucking good by the way. Goddamn man, thanks. Anyway, that's my rant. That's my rant. I'm done with my rant, sorry. Yeah, I almost think that like, guys that call people gay, they should donate to the LGBTQ fund because they really get the joy out of calling people gay. It's a hobby. So they can't lose gay people. Cause they need gay people in order to call things gay. Oh yeah. So they should do what they do with their day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like guys that stockpom so they can go fishing. You know, I'm really paying out some fucking. What would pool cleaners do without a little fall foliage? What would they do? Yeah. You need exactly. Batman need the Joker. Hey, it's like COVID. I don't know. I was waiting. I was about to get real Rogan in here. You think we landed on the moon? Don't fucking do this to me.

1:13:28No, just ask. Don't do this to me. I'm just asking. I don't want it. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. I'm just asking. I don't want it. He does that. Explain what you're doing. It's not what you're doing. I'm asking a question. You know what you're doing. All I'm asking is if you think we landed on the moon. He does this on purpose. This is a rolling bit. It's literally just a question. I think we landed on the moon live. Yeah, me too. Don't fucking tell me. I think we didn't land on the moon. Don't. You think we didn't. No, he agrees with you. He's just fucking with me. No, I'm. I'm immortalized on YouTube forever. Oh, wait, you don't pull. You're anti-vaxxer flat. No, he's not. He's just fucking with me. He wants me to squirm and it's working. He likes to do this on TikTok live so that people will start. In 1948, we landed on the moon. Wait, I'm sorry, that was in 1948. In 1948, two brothers at a Tennessee created Mountain Dew. This fresh citrus taste gives you a kick that brings back iconic summer moments. Iconic summer moments needed.

1:14:29Iconic summer drink brought to you by Mountain Dew. Is that not incredible? Do you think Epstein killed himself? No, sorry. I don't think Epstein killed himself. No, no, no, no, fuck. But that's like, that's not a conspiracy theory. That's a public record. Once like, Kennedy. Don't fucking do it for me. Wait, did Kennedy kill himself? No, no. No. No, but Oswald didn't shoot him. It's like the wildest insane trick shot suicide I've ever seen. He just went, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. Conservatory call. I've never heard anyone do that. I've heard a lot of Kennedy's theories. I've heard a lot of there's not a lot of people. Kennedy killed himself. He's been kind of killed himself. Yeah, because he saw the future. I want one of his family members who's going to do. He was like, he went up to Oswald and he was like, listen, here's the deal. You get to kill someone and he goes, sure. And he gives them the picture and he goes, but wait, that's you. And he was like, yeah. And he's like, but wait, I don't get it.

1:15:30And he goes, you will. Stephen King's story idea. Do you like observatories? Not observatory. What was it? Looked a post-story. Is it positivity? I thought you would think there's also one guy that's on an observatory going, I'm not thinking about the wrong place. Every time. Every time. You do the moonliving. I'm going to bring this up. I think Kennedy killed himself at the parade. Can I tell you the one thing I wish that I could kick off? Okay, we can run with that. The one thing I wish I could take off the internet. I was on a, I was highest fuck and I was drunk and I was on a black podcast called 85 South. What's a black podcast? It's just black people. It's just black. I thought it was a black. Not a gory. It's a black podcast. It means it's black people. Black. I could have said African American podcasts, but it's just black. And one of the guys said to me, I said, who's your favorite celebrity ever got to meet? And he goes, I'm that Martin. And I said Martin Luther King Jr. And it was so quiet in there. And they were like, he was killed before I was born.

1:16:33And I was like, ah, yeah. Right. Right. Or was he? Who was he talking about? Martin Luther King Jr. Killed himself. No, no. He has his deal. I need you to kill this man. And then the guy was so racist. He goes, they all look like, I'll kill anyone you want me to. Is that your Martin Luther King impression? Yeah. Yeah, wait. Yeah, that was a bad one. Yeah, I said, can you bleep out the whole impression? That was like, minstrel fucking theater. That was crazy. Full school. This is Martin Luther. I got a good Martin. That's Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. Different guy. I had the weirdest dream last night. I was running in a pool. I had the worst. Totally empty. You were there. Jesse? Jesse? Jesse? Martin Luther King telling you about a weird dream he had? Is this an especially? It's my pitch. He goes, ah. Okay, he woke up that morning. The morning before that speech, and he goes, ah, had the weirdest dream last night.

1:17:34And then like, no one wants to hear dreams, Martin. He goes, no. Jesse, we were sitting at the table with white people. And he was like, that is a weird fucking dream. And he was like, and every man was judged on his valour. And then like, wait, wait, wait, just take the weirdest out. And just say, I had a dream. And don't tell us about it was last night. It doesn't matter. It's a middle of the day. No one wants to hear about your dreams. It's a bit. No, I'm just doing it. And he goes, and he goes, okay, and he goes, so I just tell him about how to dream. And he goes, yeah, no, no, no, no, don't say it like, ah, had a dream. I had the most fucking dream last night. I had the most fucking dream last night. I had the most fucking dream last night. Martin, I don't think you're getting it. And he goes, guys, it's a m-a-n. No. And then like, Martin, you gotta lose the chops, man. Just be serious. I think you have a new clip you wish never existed on the internet. I had the weirdest fucking dream. I was fucking two chicks, but they had elephant noses.

1:18:34So Martin was white, and we were all getting along and saying, so had these worst stuff. I was white, but what was white? And so we're all getting along and it was crazy. People were watching and they didn't care. And then like, yeah, we'd take out the elephant noses part. No, but that's the weirdest part of the fucking dream. We can workshop it. Hold on, there's something here. There's something good. Just keep the, I have it, just the white, the thing I think that will wait for me. The yellow light is getting along. It goes, should I tell them about the time? The threesome? No. That left that part. You leave that. I had a dream that my feet were the size of cause. And I was walking down the street and white people didn't mind. Just take the car feet out. You were walking on the street and white people didn't mind. No, but that's the weird part. This isn't the part of the dream. The white people, that might happen. The dream is my feet, the size of cause. You better put this in some place. This is going right here. No, no, this is where it lives. As a true chucklefucker comedy nerd, please put this in a show.

1:19:37Please, this fucking, that thing has legs. You could take that, you could do 20 minutes. I'm that fucking pregnant. Ah, I had a dream, I had three legs. I'm sweating. I'm sweating now. Oh, I'm sweating. I don't, I think I use them all. Oh my god. Oh, you're moist. I'm sweating. Moisture than a noisture. I almost threw up. Oh my god. Here you go, guys. That might be one of my favorite beds I've heard in a while. Oh, it's fantastic. Then I'll start it with the fact that I said, who was I talking to? Was it Carlos? Was it Carlos? Was it Carlos? It's a weirdest fucking dream. Ah, ah, ah. That's a weirdest. We can have the truth of that story. You're impression by the way got better as it went on. Ah, it's pretty good. No, it's pretty good. No, it's pretty good. Do you know the true story of how that I have a dream speech happened? This is anticlimactic. But do you know how it happened? He got to the end of his speech and he was kind of struggling. He had him a closer. And there was a gospel singer. A closer. Our name, her name is Aliyah, something. There was a gospel, not a little bit.

1:20:38Someone Googled it. And she said off stage, she goes, Man, tell him about the dream. I guess he had said it casually. Yeah, I swear to God. I swear to God. It was an ad lib? It was an ad lib. No, no. And he goes, ah, I know this. Greatest ad lib of all time. And of course, a woman came up with it and then the guy gets credit. Typical fucking suffrage. Martin Luther King canceled. That was so great. What can you read it? Yeah. She was a gospel singer. And yeah, she inspired Martin Luther King to improvise his famous, I have a dream. No way. Yeah. I'm kind of obsessed. And that's what she went up to. And she goes, Here's the end of his prepared remarks Jackson called out from the crowd. Tell him about the dream. Martin. No way. And he goes, and he was like, Ah, I had the weirdest fucking dream. I mean, just the dream. But also like that dude has already been let. Think about how much. And scripted I have a dream. How much more legendary is this guy now?

1:21:39Like that was kind of. Without the I have a dream. He's without the I have a dream. He's just Jesse Jackson. Yeah. Hack. I mean, I have a, but you need a great speech to be a great man, right? Full school. And that's not him. It's not him. That guy Abraham. That guy Abraham Lincoln. That guy. Great speech. Ask not what your country can do for you. But what you can do for your country. By the way, one of the best bits of all time is Gillis son Washington. I've seen that bit. Gillis is bit on George Washington crossing the Delaware. No. Gillis went to a, I'm not going to do the bit because he's doing it. Do it like Shane Gillis. No, do it like Shane Gillis. Come on. I just did a Martin Luther King. Okay. But no. All right. All right. Anyway, so that's my Shane Gillis. But no, he, uh, he went to a, a like George Washington's childhood home during COVID. Like he did during the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And he found out that, you know, the wooden teeth thing. It's not entirely accurate. Yeah. It was also donkey teeth and slave teeth in the dentures that washed it wore.

1:22:42And then Gillis goes, ah. Don't show me that like don't. Yeah. And then he, and then he imitates Washington crossing the Delaware with crazy. He's like, no, one of the British were afraid. I got, I got you. You know what I'm talking about. He's like, give like a 12 foot retarded guy with donkey teeth. That's Lincoln or Washington Washington. Washington. Washington. Lincoln, Lincoln cut down the Terry tree. That's Washington. No, Washington cut down the Terry tree. Lincoln got shot. Washington died of tuberculosis. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I have to go to my office and I have. That is sickle cell. Lincoln was also the first Jewish president. Lincoln was the first Jewish president shot in the temple. No, I like it. I like it. I fucking have to go on a bus with this dude for months. Sweet, when does your tour start? September, uh, 14. Yeah, 14th and Dallas. What are your cities? Um, yeah, what are your website? What's your website? Stanisans.com. Can I tell you what upsets me? The guy's at chatterbait.

1:23:42What? Where? Where the fuck? Never got never. No, tell me. I want to hear it. If you know this, if you pull up Google porn in a third window, chatterbait, you have pop-up ads that show up. Sure. And I was showing someone my Google search and like every now and then if I have ever Googled porn usually because I'm having an anxiety attack, I, chatterbait will show up. Good coping mechanism. Yeah. And the guys at chatterbait ran into me in Vegas and they're like, Bert, we didn't know you used chatterbait, which is jerking off with strange people. I go, I don't. And they're like, sure, that's what everyone says. And I was like, no, I really don't. They're like, okay. And I was like, wait, you guys have access to the records. You don't see any credit cards in. I'm sure you got to pay, right? I don't have a new, crazy. You're like, no, it's free. Yeah, it works on tokens. There's so much free. Why would you? What's the name of your website to get tickets? StanleySimmons.com. Where are we? We're going all over the place. I'm not going to listen because it's going to be a lot of fun. Boy, that was a weird detour into chatterbait for a second there, wasn't it?

1:24:44Like we went from like, what are your tour dates? Because you must have seen, you know, chatterbait came up. I'm going to have a little pop-up out there. If I have anxiety, I go to porn. Yeah, I see nothing wrong with that. And I bet there's no consequences that will happen. Talk to my therapist about that. Back around. Yeah. How does your therapist feel about that? She was confused. She'd support that decision to go there. Anything to get out of my panic attack. Really? Yeah. So porn's good. No, I don't think she was like, talk therapy works better. Yeah. No, I... Yeah. Yep. Yes. That's what I was thinking. But if your options are Xanax alcohol or nightquil or porn, it was porn. I would go Xana even before... Yeah, a fun nightquil, really. Nightquil is fucking... Yeah, crazy dreams, man. It slaps. You like when I... You know, I have a Z-quil, so it's not the cold medicine. It's just the sleep one. Why not? Get the cold medicine and knock out a cold if you got one anywhere. Oh, yeah, I forgot. The cold medicine does stuff. It's under under under. Yeah, it's a whole different thing. I'm... November 3rd at the Trubidor. That's my birthday.

1:25:44Come. Happy birthday. Bring the fan. November 3rd. I would love to see you guys on my birthday. That's the very last show and we're doing an after party at another place. Okay. Nearby. We'll tell you the off camera. September 14th, you got Dallas, Houston, Austin, New Orleans, Birmingham, Nashville, Louisville, Charlotte, Huntington, Washington, Boston, City Winery, October 2nd, New York. Again, we've added a show in New York, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Michigan, Indianapolis, New Orleans. We're doing two. I think Louis, this is a legit fucking tour. Yeah, almost 30 right? 28, somewhere down. Denver, Salt Lake, Seattle, Portland, Napa, Berkeley, November 1st, in Felton, California, November 3rd, ending at the Trubidor near me, Holiday at the Trubidor is such a great thing. I know we love it. I've never played there. I've grown up seeing a million shows. I've never played. I've only ever jumped up with somebody there. I've never played much. Can I ask, what's your experience? We should wrap this up. I know we got to get you out of here. But what's like leading in to this band, do you guys both have a chance to play?

1:26:45leading into this band, you guys both had separate bands, right? Yeah, we had other projects. Yeah. And then this just kind of showed up at each other's door. How did this, how did the day it happened? How did it, it's kind of anticlimactic. I mean, we were just hanging out, we're friends, we were kicking it, we're like, let's do a video that'll probably be good for both of our socials and our other projects. And we sang a song and a garfonkel song because it's something we both love that had nothing to do with either of our projects. And it was crazy because we thought it would do all right. Like we, you know, we thought the two of us together would help, but I remember us posting it and checking like 20 minutes later, I'm like, it's like at a million now. And then you check like an hour later, like it's at two million now. And it just kept going up and up. And it was like, oh shit, this is kind of crazy. And a few days later, this was over the holidays, we were talking, it was like, our voices blend really well. You know, like if you can sing, you can sing harmonies, but if you get lucky, I don't know what it is. But like if you get lucky, it's the voices or whatever, they just kind of mesh and create kind of a third new voice thing. And both of us noticed that we're like,

1:27:46maybe we should do a couple songs together, but even at that point, it was just a song or two, right? I mean, we were dicking around. We were like, oh, maybe we'll have a folk side project. I think I texted you that. And you're like, all right. It's like, how cool, whatever. Then we wrote a song. I was like, I remember the next morning listening to the demo, the first song we wrote, it was February 3rd of 25. And I remember waking up and being like, shit, this is my favorite song I've ever been involved with. This is so cool. And we were like, it's Rob. Yeah, we let's do more. And we showed Rob Kavala, who's just like an insane legendary producer. And just covered Green Day. He produced all our albums. He produced Fleetwood Mac. He produced, I don't know, everybody. All shine down, Lil Peep. It's like he's so all over the place, but he's amazing. Yeah. And he called me. I sent him this one song, because we only had one song. He was like, what the fuck is this? Come to the studio. I'm making this record. And it's like, we don't have a record. We have one song. And we were there. He's like, you guys have other bands, this is serious. Is this the priority? We were both like a... He's like, I'll do this,

1:28:47but only if this is your number one priority. Like you better drop everything, basically. And I was like, okay, as of today, it is. Sure, yeah, okay. And yeah, my other band was like, yeah, do it. It's got to feel cool. It's got to feel cool to have someone separate from... You believe in it? To believe in you. Because there's got to be a lot that goes into having parents that are so famous for the thing you also want to do. And we'll always go like, well, I'm... Will I ever... I remember someone told me, never name your son after... Never name your son after yourself. Because then he's always trying to live up to your shoes. Fill your shoes. Yeah, and try not to even... But it's kind of crazy to then have someone separately go, this is great. And this is what... I mean, the first time I heard you guys, I was like, oh fuck you. Like in a weird way, I was like, well fuck you. The... The bronze should go to the fucking heat. Let's fucking stack a team. What? Like, fuck you. Jordan's coming back. Like, I'm not gonna... I don't want to put that weight on you. But like, when I saw you guys together, I was like, oh fuck you. This is what it was supposed to be.

1:29:48Yeah, I don't mind, whatever. It's kind of cool as shit. And then the first time I heard the first song I heard, I was... I think it was on probably on TikTok. You were like, this fucking sucks. No, I was like... This is this. No, I was like, this is great. It's really great. And there were all covers and then listening to your new stuff. Now, I'm like, oh this is gonna be awesome. It's really awesome. And I say that as a fan of both of you, but of your parents and of the music that kind of groomed you. But I think I'm just rockin' Roland General. I wanted to say this. I went, you know, everyone says, you know, Hollywood's dying, movies are dying. And what is happen television's dying? And this and music's dying. And everything's getting streamed. And this and that. And then I went to that show last night. And I was like, rockin' Roland's still alive. People still dress like rock stars. Well, not only that, I think they're because of all that news you just mentioned. I think people are very, very hungry for live in-person experiences. Yes. Because we're sick of... Real-screen connection. Not the screen connection.

1:30:49And I think it's actually a great time to be doing organic music because I think people are like, people want that at the moment. I think that's a wave right now that we're writing. So we're lucky. And I think again, the only thing when you're talking about those expectations, all we can do, and I think anyone in our position should do, is try to earn it in retrospect. Because we can't control our luck. And we're grateful, but we're not going to ignore it. And or pretend it doesn't exist. All we can do is say, all right, I better work hard enough so that it is deserved after the fact. So that's just all we're up to. We're trying to make sure it's actually any good at all. And we work really hard. But yeah, other... The thing that we resent about other quote unquote nepot babies is when it's clear that they're not doing that. They're writing the easy street wave with no sort of like... But I resent that anybody. Discipline. And I resent that in anybody. Yeah, it happens to happen a lot in a specific area. But anyone who's sitting real pretty without putting in work, it's like, that's a bummer to see, especially when someone takes it

1:31:49for granted and thinks so highly of themselves without honing. They think they deserve it without the effort. And I think our goal on this tour is we're gonna, with through blood- sweat and tears, show that we've earned this attention. So that's the goal. I'm excited. If you guys, any of those cities have listed, we're gonna, we should put up, there's a link in the bio. Go see them. Go see them live. And I have to say this. And one of the coolest things ever is, go see, go be outdoors. Everyone's on a long, go go to fucking one of these clubs on tour. Go see it, bring five friends, bring a date. Ask a girl that we work with, maybe that not work with. That was so good up and done that. Ask a girl you have a crush on. If you'd like to go see a show, you have that wagon. And fuckies the day. Yeah, if you haven't been drinking, start drinking. Try again. Try co-credit first. No, yeah. But no one likes quitters. The, but thank you guys for doing this. I appreciate it. No, it's a huge help. You love this guy's anything you ever need me to promote. And by the way, I gotta tell you,

1:32:50if you wanna come back and we'll do the podcast and hang again, and you can play some music, I would love that. Fuck you, let's do it. I love that I would love that. Fuck you. This episode was brought to you by the machine. If you don't know by now, this is me and Tommy's Vodkids called Porosos for the bears and we want you to make friends. There's nothing better than having a best friend that you can share secrets with. Share it cocktail with and you're gonna love this vodka. It's got a smooth taste, a beautiful finish. And we taste tested a hundred different vodka's and landed on this one mutually and we were not wrong. We have won two huge awards, the USA spirits, 2024 gold medal in the tasting alliance, 2024 double gold medal. It is a fair price, it is an accessible price. We wanted to make that for our fans.

1:33:52We want you to enjoy it. Go get yourself a bottle and make it with soda. We have a bunch of drinks over on the porosos Instagram page that you can try, but pick up a bottle of one of our finer retailer partners. ABC fine wines and spirit, total wine and more, specs or go, demand it at your favorite liquor retailer. Do that at a bar. Go up to your favorite bar and go, do you guys serve porosos? When they say no, they go, damn, all right, never mind. I guess I'll have a beer. Order a bottle and some of our killer merch online at drinkporosos.com. Make friends.