Why Chasing Happiness Makes Women in Their 40s More Miserable — and What Works Instead

Happiness often feels like a finish line we’re all running toward, something to be achieved, earned, or chased. Yet, as life unfolds–especially in our 40s–that chase can feel exhausting.

In this insightful episode of The Forties Formula podcast, hosts Jasmin Dhillon and Amanda Lim sit down with SHA-EN YEO, a renowned Positive Psychology practitioner, two-time TEDx speaker, and upcoming author, to explore the deeper meaning of happiness, fulfillment, and intentional living in your 40s. Sha-En brings science and soul to the conversation as she challenges the modern myth that happiness means feeling good all the time.

Drawing from Positive Psychology and her own lived experiences, she explores how societal expectations, caregiving roles, and the constant pressure to “have it all together” often prevent women from experiencing genuine joy. She explains that learning to slow down, listen inward, and nurture authentic relationships can transform not just how we live, but how we feel about the lives we’re living.

Together, they explore:

• Why chasing happiness can make it feel even more out of reach

• The impact of expectations on relationships, happiness, and resilience

Between careers, families, caregiving, and self-expectations, joy sometimes feels more like an obligation than an emotion. The truth, however, is that happiness is not something we need to find or pursue. It is something we choose moment by moment, presence by presence.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 – Episode Snippet

03:17 – Chasing vs. choosing happiness

06:19 – What is Positive Psychology?

09:04 – The evolving journey of marriage

12:03 – How expectations steal joy

15:29 – The emotional load of midlife women

18:08 – Expression is the antidote to depression

23:01 – The three types of stress

27:00 – Fuel Your Forties Segment: Grounding and calming rituals

31:24 – Adaptive vs. maladaptive coping

39:08 – Hot or Hype

42:33 – Can money really buy happiness?

45:20 – Three tips to live happier every day

47:56 – Toxic positivity vs. authentic happiness

49:19 – The Forties Formula: Redefining success by honoring your current capacity

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📘 Free Guide — The Forties Formula E-book Your simple, honest guide to what’s changing in your 40s — hormones, cravings, energy, strength and more.