We Are Garbage w/ AYG

0:00Hey Spotify listeners, when you travel with American Airlines you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admiral's Club lounge, with curated self-serve offerings of hearty vites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. We're going to book now at AA.com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. My dude, an Asian dinner. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. Bad friends. We have Kevin and H Foley from RU Garbage. Give them a round of applause everybody. Hey! What's going on? Bad friendsers. What's up? You both have come up. Cleaner. Oh, thank you. Cleaner clothing. The garbage men are here. Yeah, the garbage. You're risen. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Before the fall. No, no. No but it's no run ball. They're acting like Harrison Ford lately. Me?

1:00Yeah. Why you say that? He's taking your hair. I don't know what you're telling Tom. Winter. You know what I mean? He looks good. He's looking at his hair all the time. Why are you jealous? He looks good, his hair looks fantastic. He looks smart. He looks like a fashion designer. Whoa! Nives are out. Nives are out. What do you mean by that, Chachy? Boom! Happy days? Yeah. Yeah, I only do 70s references. Okay, Dino Mike. This is one of the worst road battles I've ever seen. Anyway, you know, because you look handsome. Thank you. He looks great. Thank you. What a friend. Thank you. That's what friends do. Yeah. Yeah, you support him. You also look great. You look great. That's what I wasn't even. I know what you're my friend. What are you looking at? Andrew Nackim. You compliments like that and talk to you up. Listen, we're here to fix you too. Yeah. Before we're going to do. We've been through a bad place. Yeah. Yeah, we're in a very bad place. Yeah. Yeah. The audience doesn't know, but we're here for a bad friend's intervention. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum.

2:01Now, let's talk it out. Yeah. What is your love language to Andrew? What do you do? What does he do for me? Yes. What do you do for him? Well, he never likes physical touch because I'd always leave the violence. Kevin also doesn't like physical touch. Yeah. I think I said. I've had a tap on the bat could turn into an arm bar. So you're lucky I don't do that. Yeah. I just say, please, you can't do it. I insist there. Be careful. You're weak. Whoa. Okay. Personal attack. All right. You bugged fool. Whoa. Sorry. Let's not talking about people's eyes struck. I don't know. I mean, be careful. Dude, for Asians, I'm bugged. No, for Asians. For some Asians. You have wide eyes sometimes. Yeah. You wide eyes. There it is. Whoa. Whoa. That's a plastic. That's what we love, we love accounts. You know white people, that's what they say. Oh wait, that was a white guy. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. I thought I was expecting your eyes to come out with those glasses when you took them off. I just want to tell the audience. What like, like a muppet, oh like a muppet. Yeah.

3:01We have two stars, two stars in our presence now from the hit show Tires on Netflix. We have Bobby Lee and Nick Foley. To the best. To the top of the baby. These guys stole scenes on that show in a way where no one else could have done those roles. Could anyone have something? Do you see it? No, I did not watch it. I'm not interested in what. I still want to see some craft services. Yeah. Yeah. That was great. The craft dog service. Loan that hot dog got that one, that a cold hot dog. Yeah. That was the best hot dog ever. The craft was good on the show. Oh, the best. Top notch. They had these cold hot dogs. There's something about a cold gray hot dog. What is it? And you haven't eaten all day. It's cold outside. And they hand you this. I've never done that. But I understand what you're talking about. What do you mean? He hasn't not eaten all day. Easy. Oh, okay. Can I finish? Please. I'm sorry about the bug eye thing, man. I'm thinking about walking from being honest with you. I'm going to have my agents come in here. CAA is going to have this place upside down. He knows he's got bug eyes. I guess that's what I'm going to do.

4:02I've got a big forehead. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hold this shit if I'm being honest with you. What's that? Kentucky bluegrass? Where'd you go? The fuck? The chicken I lost in the fescue. Hey. Where's my golfers at? Yeah. All right. We got him some hair. We were able to get him some hair. That's where he was. Whoa. See, that's what he where he was at. It's before and after. That's before and after. I kind of like it before if I'm being honest with you. I don't know. I don't know how much money you spent. Yeah. But I like the before. It was free. I didn't know you used to be Christopher Lloyd. Holy shit. Run money. Do you look like a fly? Okay. Like a hairless fly. That's what women's. You know how they see hairless bears? It looks great. Yeah. Awesome. That's a hairless fly, dude. Do you go to Turkey? No, Beverly Hills. Whoa. The turkey of LA. The turkey of LA. Nice. Yeah. What is turkey? Has it been to Turkey?

5:02I don't know. Is it Istanbul? Istanbul. I still go by Constantinople. I'm old school. Yeah. Oh. Guys, it's a historian. It's a paniaman. Oh. You know about zero asterism? Here it is. What did you tell me about it? I like it fried. Yeah. I know. Just a little bit of tomato. I like two pickles. Bun. Right? But I like the zero asterism. Very big. What is it? It's got like an old astrology. It's one of the oldest organized monotheistic religions. Originating in ancient Persia, modern day Iran. I'm out. Oh, yeah. That's like go posters too. Fuck that. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. I'm zero asterism. Really? Yeah. What is it? What is it, what is it do? What is, what are you about it? What does that look like? Well, there was, all I know about zero asterism, all I know about it, I'm going to tell you, is there is a comedy club owner. Okay. And I show up and I go into my hotel room and he walks me to my hotel room. The owner? Yes. Ah, that's right. I've never seen that before.

6:02Have you ever seen that before? Well, he owns a hotel as well. Yeah, he probably did. You know, you're in the room. And there's a woman in my room. And he goes, buddy, I got you a woman. And I go, I don't want, what? Also, she wasn't even attracted to this woman. Okay. You know what I mean? I like, oh, that's the weird thing. No, not that this is a stranger in my room. I'm not even attracted to that woman. Yeah, you would definitely be the second product in your room. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah. But the whole weekend, he was like, I'm zero asterism. And he, he's telling me about the beliefs of it. I don't know much about it. Tell it to the cops, pal. Yeah. Was this guy Iranian? He looked brown. Okay. Yes. What? The answer is yes, probably. Yeah, so he was me. Describing it to the police, what did he look like? He looked like he was a Zorio, Zorio, asterism. You guys are talking about it? You guys know the Lord of Wisdom, right? You guys know that? Zorio asterism. Yes. The Lord of Wisdom, and life involves a constant moral choice between Asha, truth, order, and righteousness, or random ladies in a hotel room. Falsehood and chaos. Yeah. So it's a constant moral choice.

7:02So he loves chaos. I am pure Asha. You know that, right? Yes. Truth, order, and righteousness. Right? Am I, I'm Asha 100%. You got a lot of droog in you, pal. No, no, no. A lot of falsehood in chaos. No, I'm Asha for sure. Truth, order for real, and righteousness. Obviously. Righteousness is my thing. I know. I always think about you. Yeah. What do you think? I think you're Mr. Druche. I should call you Druche from now on. Okay. So I'm falsehood and chaos. Yeah. Maybe because everyone in the booth nods simultaneously. It's almost, I mean, it was that. Can I have Asha? It's also kind of, it's the prime directive is good thoughts, good words, good deeds. Your show's called bad friend. Yeah, that's so tough. Oh, fuck. I don't have it then. No, I don't have the poor beliefs. What when did it happen in this story with this woman in your room? I was just, I was just giving you an example of the one example. Did you have sex with her, Bobby? No. You said please leave. I swear to God. Why? I swear to say, to your own hero. I swear to God.

8:03I swear to my God. I swear to my God. I swear to my God. I swear to my God. The prophet, the Lord of wisdom. Dumb below. Who's the prophet right there? The founder. Who's the prophet? The prophet Zara Tessuria. Yeah. You got a swear to, they. Yeah, yeah. Zara Thustre. Let's move on. He was for 500 years. Yeah, dude. I never, the numbers go backwards back then. What, explain it to me what you're throwing. They should have just started at zero and went up. It doesn't matter when, who was what? Yeah. I mean, B.C. Unsound like a good Catholic to me, pal. Why? They changed it from fucking B.C. to B.C. It was before Christ and after death. I thought it meant. But the real danger is this, God. What? What is it? The butt sniffer is back. Who's that? Is that a dog or something? Glendale. He's back. The butt sniffer. Oh, I know the guy you're talking about. This man. Yeah. No kidding. Khalise Kraler. He's back. 39-year-old registered sex vendor, a dubbed the butt sniffer, arrested and glendale, on suspicion of violating his parole after allegedly targeting shoppers and local business. And this is what he does. Sniffing away.

9:03So he'll be sniffing away. Damn, Tom. He's that A. Ball retrieved war. Okay. He just made a good joke. Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't hear it. Yeah, well, then it's a fuck back down. I'm trying to explain to you what he does. Oh, let's see. Let's show us the butt sniffing. No, I want to see it, Bobby. And pull your pants up. God damn. Let's run with these kids today anyway. That's your boy. I'm pretending to get something on a bottom shelf because he sees a woman. And I'll sniff a butt. Huh. Yeah. And do they get, are they catching him in the act or, or is it like, yeah, they're catching him on video video over right there. I know, but I'm saying, okay, look at him. Sorry. It's a bad friend's vibe. Yeah. Now what aisle is that in? That's what I really, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where is he sniffing is that in self help? No. Oh, self help. That's a good one. A legend serial back side sniffer admits to violating parole will serve four months in county jail. A heat wave coming through Los Angeles tomorrow morning. I mean, unbelievable on KTLA. Yeah. You know, there is no room in our society for butt sniffing.

10:03However, yeah, funny. I'm not. Yeah. I know. I don't know about it. It's still arm. Armageddon. Yeah. What about arm sniffing? Yeah. Is that what you're into? That's what he is. Arm pit. Bobby's in. Really? You like arm pit sniffing? I'm a badge guy. These guys look like your neighbors. I'm always been bad. They are. I've been vajol day. You've been vajol day? No, I like to smell vajol day. Yeah, I'm with you on that. Yeah, not strangers. No, no, no, no, not strangers like my girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. We found that's great. Oh, you didn't know that? I didn't know. Yeah. That's the last time I talked. Oh, really? Yeah, I have one now. It's awesome. Congratulations, Ben. You think you butt? Congratulations, buddy. Wish all the happiness in the world. Bobby's the only guy I can compliment or like wish well. And I go, wait, am I even now fighting? Yeah, no, he doesn't know. He doesn't like sincerity. Yeah, I do. You don't. Oh, let's get to the. Why are you guys beefing? No, let's get to the foundation of what's going on right here. Okay. All right. I need to know.

11:03Okay. Okay. What is going on? Okay. Do we have strife? You and I? Yeah. It's pure. I'm talking about it. Our friendship is pure. Yeah. It's based on purity. I've never done nothing but talk about it. Every time I see you, dude, you give me a good smile. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. Yeah. I know. I know, you do. My eyes are normal. I get so excited. My eyes fall out of my head. So I guess right here, we're good. We're great. I think some of the fucking current that you're giving me here, bud. What did I give you? You look at me with a sneer. I've been sneering. I'm be sharing. Have you noticed there's always like a little. This is what he sits there like this? Well, being the you in our relationship. Yeah. I'm just going to be like, well, I'm going to be like, well, this is a little, this is a little, this is a little, like it is, Yeah, I'm a little biased from the outside. I can see some things. You walked, you stormed in when we were recording with Skidginjer and then the Japanese voice. You get up here. Did I know you were Japanese voice? And aren't you Korean? Yeah. I know. I'm sort of mind boggled. They're allowed to now.

12:03Yeah. Yeah. There's no beef between Korean and Japan, right? It's China and Japan. No, there's all of them. There's all of them. China, Japan, dude, not like each other. I got to eat with all of them. You do? Except for that crab rangoon, huh? You married right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, I gotta tell you, there's beef within all of them. But he does, yeah, he busts in. He does the Japanese accent. Yeah. Does that now as the you of this situat, does that, how does that, does that ruffle your feathers a little bit? Used to it so much. He's a wild card. Yeah, he's a wild card. And you gotta know the wild card's gonna be wild. Uh-huh. When Bobby has you, can't be taught pure, I don't want to talk about myself today because it's about you. Why? What is it, my wedding day? No, no, no, no, it's about you too. And your glorious rise. Oh, you got it. Well, these two young men have a new special that they put out and they did it in the best way, by the way. It's called American Garbage. It's out on their YouTube channel right now. It's incredible. Film that it's side splitters down at Tampa. They get some of the best questions

13:04because their fans give them, like you could, they have a bank of great questions to describe whether or not you're garbage. Does Bobby been tested about his level of garbage? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, John, right? Yeah, all the way back in the day. Way back in the day, yeah. What was the number? Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that got to be much garbage. Yeah. Oh, I'm full of garbage. But in a good way. Yeah, you're available. You're, I'm asking about the plastics. Lot of PFAS. Yeah. And straws. Yeah. And that kind of, you know, garbage. Like very high palette though. He likes, he likes a nice dinner. Yeah. Oh, dude. He likes a salvage denim and fashion. Yeah. Weird glasses. Those expensive, they look expensive. They're so ugly, they look expensive. I love, I love being ripped on. Do more. Do my face. No. Yeah, moon. Now you're scaring me. No, no, no, no. Yeah, we're all scaring me. Like a slammed into a wall wall. That's all flat, you know? What? Let's go. I love it. I love it. I love it.

14:04No, Bobby, take it easy. No, no, no, no, no too much. Relax. We're friends. All right. Sorry. I apologize. Yeah, this is incredible. They found a brain scan, a Bobby doctor scan, a 44 year old man found nearly 90% of his brain gone. Skull was filled with fluid and yet he had a job. Wife kids and lived completely normal life. That's awesome. That's incredible. That's sick. I might have that. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't want to know. Just let me, because then you're worried about it. 75 IQ and this man held a good job. Family kids. Wait, this might be fully. Is he good? Yeah, he's finding his life. He's cruising. Just no brain. Probably doesn't worry about stuff. What's the thing about the past? What's 75? In the moment. What is that scale for IQ? Yeah, I know it's low, but I'm saying like, what is the legally, oh, I don't, you can say it. Schmischmarted. What's the line? I think the legal line is around 60 something. Probably 68. I think the real question is where to go. We should find his brain. It's also true. Where's his brain?

15:04The brain's out there somewhere. Somewhere, his brain is his chilling. So maybe at a cracker barrel. Having a hash. So this says 50 to 70 is my intellectual disability. 35 to 50 is moderate, severe as 20 to 35. Anything below 20 is profound. Fully you are profound. You are profound. You profound man. You think you would think profound would be like super smart. He's an out. You have to say that at that level. Well, at that level, you got to make them think they're like a superhero. Like, whoa, you're profound. I got that. Yeah. Mr. Profound. I could test it in college. It was 115. God bless. That's really good. Yeah. That's really good. I don't think mine's high either. 115 sounds right. Do you think so? No. No. Have you had your IQ tested? Yeah. What are you? 145. You're 145. 145. Whoa. No, that's not true. I know. Have you tested? No, no. I got to be sub-hundred for sure. I got to be just kissing 96 or something. No, no, no.

16:05You know a lot. No, not enough. 98. See, I told you I'm probably right around 96 to 98. Just below average, maybe. This is a below average room, I would have been doing it. Oh, for sure. Do me, do me now. Do me. I'm going to go with Profound, my friend. No. That's comedy. No chance. No chance. Oh my God. I'm profound. You know what the problem with these tests are? Racism. Racism. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Foley. Obviously. Yeah. No, you know, it is. It is really fucked up though. I was never going to standardize testing, so I probably would fail this miserably. Is it a question? I don't think, is it like more like logic based questions? It is like, is it multiple choice? I never understood what standardized test meant. What does that mean? The standard, everybody takes, everyone takes it. This guy is my profound best friend. It's not 115, man. You're not even American. Okay. He is now. He just got, yeah, he is. Hey. Hey.

17:06Opec is transparent as labyrinth is two. Oh God. Straight forward. Holy. Straight forward is right. It's three four. Why not? A man looks photograph. He says, brother and sisters, I have none, but that man is my, that man's father is my father's son. Whose photograph is the man? I know this. This itself. Wait, this is the question. No, this is the internet. This is all. I was going to say, this is one of those stupid things like the, it says mock IQ. Yeah. This is something you said when you were a kid. This is mocking us brother. Sister, that man's father is my friend said, well you, we, we, we, let's do one more. If five machines take five minutes to make five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? Uncrustibles. Yeah, we're here, bring it. That's not one of the answers. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. A hundred minutes. Fuck. Yeah, five minutes. Yeah. Quiz complete. Let's see. I scored 40% not good. So I think we might be profound. Yeah. Well, I think we're profound. Fuck days. This is all. It's a two-be-an. Yeah.

18:06That's right. That one question was like, guys, the one, a man, a man, a train leaves the station. No, a man catches his wife. Fuck that, damn. No. Bang in a magic. Yeah. That, that's a hole. Oh my God. I can beat that. A man, a man and his son, a surgeon and his son are in a bad car accident. The surgeon dies instantly. The son could have stopped. I'll stop you right here, right? It's, it's, it's, the surgeon is his mother. Yeah. So we don't think women with their eyes are brain. Is it surgery as well? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's, that's like that question. That's the same thing. Yes, it is. No, it's not. All right, fine. If a plane crashes on the border between Canada and America, where do they bring the survivors? There's no survivors. You don't bury survivors. What the fuck's wrong with you guys? There's trying to get Bobby Joe dummy. Yeah. Throw it in his face. It's stupid, Clay. Give him another one. Thank you, McCone. Yeah, that's the answer. Okay, I'll give you another one. This is what I imagine. I'm not doing this anymore. This is what I imagine you and Ian are doing at night in the basement. Together, just giving each other those questions with red hats.

19:06Glenn and Samson. Hi, Glenn and you're saying Hank. Yeah, um, is Risteless still here? Wait, what happened to Bobby? Yeah, who are you? Oh, this is my American friend, my white American buddy. There he is. Good to see you. He's a cowboy. From Corpus Christi. Oh, there you go. Yeah, my name is Dalingo Dalingo. That's an auto-American name. It is guy. He's a good name. Yeah, good name. Dalingo Dalingo. Dalingo Dalingo. I'm Dalingo Dalingo. How can I help you, man? Well, you want some pancakes? We got also some horse trots. What a horse trot. I can bend a task brown, some gravy, right? And we infuse it with some pepperoncini's. Pepperoncini? Yeah, that's right. With a good ol' west. You can't help but let your selective palate shine through pepper andcini. Yeah, no place where the guy talking like that is infusing anything. Yeah. What's the last thing we had? Caviar, Bobby. Wow. Recently, I bet. Probably. He served it to us, remember?

20:06He did. Caviar sucks. Caviar cones. It is so bad. Caviar cones are so fucking good. So there's nothing in this. Caviar. You like the idea of the caviar. It doesn't taste good. Oh my god. Creme fresh, a potato chip and caviar. Are you o-good? I'm not. I mean, all the things that are good without the caviar. Creme fresh on a caviar is great. It is phenomenal. Chip, you could have stopped a chip. Chip. Chip was good. I think they can. Yeah. Yeah. Have you had ooni today? No, I haven't had ooni in a while. You know, I'll balance with ooni. I can't do it. It's before 7 pm. He doesn't have it till after 7 pm. Yeah, yeah. I won't eat it again. Why? Get you sick? I got sick from ooni. Oh, that'll get you. Yeah. And the yellow in this of it. If I even see it, I have gag reflexes. I'm not doing oysters anymore after the Gibson's guy. Yeah. Mel Gibson? Oh guy, ate oisps that Gibson. Did we talk about this? We talked about on whiskey. Yeah, that's supposed to eat oister. No, a guy ate oisters that Gibson's went into a coma. Yeah. You shouldn't eat oisters in any month. It doesn't. Brain injury. That's what that guy's brain went. Yeah, that was a guy. It's all for brain injury. He didn't eat it.

21:06Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is an American classic. It's so good. It's so good. It's been tasting great since 48. It's a bowl taste you know and love. It was founded by two brothers. From the foothills of Tennessee. You better believe it in 1948. They put it together. Proud American roots. And you know what you love. A mountain Dew is something we don't need to tell you about. It's delicious. You know the color. It's unique. It's like nothing else that you've ever seen or tasted. It is an American original. I remember the first time I tasted a mountain Dew was actually in the south. And I drank a Dew and I stared at the cows and I thought, this is America. I love it. This is what my four fathers wanted. I love it, dude. Oh yeah. I can envision myself on a lake. I see you right now on a lake. Right. Hot. You're very hot. Yeah, with a, I have my girlfriend with me. And she's there. And we're in a canoe. And you're in a little baby canoe. Right. Opening up a little thing of Mountain Dew. A little package of Mountain Dew. Christmas. Like, like, like, like, like, like. That's America. And that's freedom. You want to be like Bobby Lee and sit on a lake with your girlfriend and a pack of Mountain Dew and a little canoe. Then you got to get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American original tasting greats since 48.

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24:11when you go to talkspace.com and enter the promo code space 80. That's space. S P A C E 8 0. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.com and enter promo code space 80. Where's Gibson's Chicago? Chicago. That's a great place though. Gibson's yeah. I mean, I was just there three weeks ago. They took that this hit was my dad made a joke about it. Chicago great place to get oysters. Yeah. What does that even mean? I hate that. You're going to get seafood and fucking yeah, it's every way from lakes. You can wear red seafood and Vegas. No, so I haven't. It's great. They fly it in same day. I haven't. Do that Detroit. Yes, they do. They do. UPS. I get you oysters. UPS. I'm not sending them fucking away. You're not supposed to have oysters in any month that doesn't end in R. Shut the fuck up. I'm telling you right now. Okay, so give me all guest. There's no one. You and I sat down to have a dozen oysters. I ate seven oysters.

25:11You ate five. How many oysters are left? Check this out. You and him sit down and it does oysters. You ate a dozen oysters. He has to order more oysters at that. Wait, wait, wait, you have seven and I have five. That's 12. Very good. Yeah. Good job, I knew it. What are you doing? He's still doing the IQ test. You're trying to fucking... You're very smart. You're freaking me out right now, dude. Why? Because maybe I am dumb. No. We're all I'm some stupid. That's actually right. Yeah, that's right. You're not dumb. You're stupid. I'm stupid. Stupid is fun. He is. He just doesn't, I try to, he refuses to access the information he has. That's interesting. No, I just let you eat it. It's all do it. Say, suck it all. That's what a sucker guy says. That's what a sucker guy says. Right. And then when it's hooked down and he came, I made it do it. And he did it. Have you seen this dude online that's going around to every Chinese buffet eating? Yeah. Until he gets sick? Yeah. And he has a gone sick yet. Really? It's still working.

26:11And he's eating literally everything this guy. It's powerful. That's him. Shout out to this guy. He's impressive. He'll just go and eat everything on the menu. He goes to Chinese king buffet and this one. This one's pretty good. And it's so funny that could be anywhere. Yeah, anywhere. You know what? It's everywhere. I know. It's in every town. I mean, his stomach, micro-biomes are probably off the charts. Look at that hillbilly. This guy's the man. Looks like he was raising a mountain Dubai. Hey, for sure, listen, are you garbage? Shout out to you, buddy. Shout out to that guy. What is the, the sickness he's looking for? He wants to get food poisoning. He wants to get food poisoning. Yeah. It's like eating diarrhea. Yeah. See if you can get food poisoning. Have you had it before? Fire poisoning? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got a look. We both got it right now. What are you talking about? You never got in psychospelaro though. What's that? The diarrhea thing. That's lettuce. Oh, it's gone now. I think we got rid of it. But they do that shit every couple of years. diarrhea. Don't eat the romaine loaded. That'll get you. It's the same shit all the time. Psychospelaro is a microscopic parasite and widespread multi-state.

27:13Foodborne illness. It's pretty sick off of this one. I thought a big lettuce got, we're not a big lettuce. Yeah. That's always something dirt bag says. See, they say watch the hamburger but it's the lettuce. Yeah. I'm not a big lettuce. I'm not a big lettuce. Yeah. I'm not a big lettuce. Yeah. I'm not a big lettuce. I'm not a big lettuce. Yeah. You say that? Some dirt bag will tell you that. I mean, you might be right. What are the nutritional facts about lettuce? There aren't any. It's like water. Yeah, it's like why we eat it. Spinach. Good. It's good. You know, it can kick rocks, kale, kale, sucks. Talk about runes, these were salad. Yeah. Kale is more crude tons. Kale is more crude. Just eat bread, fuckface. Oh. I like this, Bobby. Real Bobby's coming out. Get him. No, dude, you're killing it. You know what you have a girlfriend now? Do you talk about her? No. Yeah, I have a girlfriend. Yeah. And she's cool. She's cool. Yeah. You'll meet her on the set. I met her at the change show. At change show. Yeah. That's awesome. When she was sitting next to you, she stood up and Bobby did something. Sniff her butt. Very sweet. What did I do? I don't remember.

28:13He stared and I'm not talking about a glance. Did you give a compliment at the very least? Later on. To you, did he say, hey, your girlfriend is nice. Yeah. Yeah. You dekept. Huh? You caught me. Yeah. That's all right. I'm sorry. Yeah, look, Bobby, I didn't think I was going to get caught. You got caught. Yeah, I didn't sniff it. No. That's illegal. It is very illegal. Yeah, yeah. So what's the state you're in? Can you look? Sometimes you can't. Yeah, you caught. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I, like if I, you caught me murder you on site, murder you on site. Really? Look at your wife's butt. It's his wife. Murder you on site. You're allowed. You would murder me on site. Murder. Yeah, murder you on site. You're not a polite glance. Yeah. I'm like, oh, it's it. I'm looking this way. He was caucan at your girlfriend's butt is what he was like really staring at. Well, he was sitting there and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And shit. No, he stood up. No, I didn't. And Bobby and Bobby just went like this. His eyes came out. It's okay. You're very respectful. Yeah.

29:13But that's a compliment. I know you appreciate beautiful women. You appreciate beautiful women. Yeah. You like a, you like a, I apologize for that. I didn't think I was going to. You were looking at my ass. I think you're weird. Yeah. That's, I'm never looking at you in a sexual way. Really? Never. I have. I never say never. Really? One time I did. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're at that house filming with you guys. I thought, what if we snuck away to a room? I think about them sexually a lot when I'm trying that to come. I know. Never have that like with your, never have that. No, it's rude. United. I don't, I don't find you attractive at all either. Hey, hey, hey, hey, be nice. Smoke breath. Bug eyes. Smoke breath. Smoke brother's good. Would you get wristless? Would you get him? Yeah. Penn State University. Okay. He started, he worked his way up the ranks with us. Yeah. Kids of scholar. He has no socks on. He's a smart, sharp kid. Okay. Where's the Birken sock? Yeah. He's stuck in the hand check like this. I don't know what this is. He paints the white thing? No. Okay. But his, his side of the story is you had cigarettes in your hand.

30:15No. And you gave them. Yes, only two fingers are free. So I think he just, oh, right. Okay. And he grabbed whatever limbs that were for him. I think when he here comes, he would start to be respectful. Bobby Lee. Yeah. He's giving me a two thing. What? I don't know what to do. I understand now. It's hard to shake that hand. Yeah, because I had this. Yeah. You always occupy your hands. You always stop, right? Some blue chew. And I went, what nice to meet you, man. Why would you have, what are you walking on a blue chew for? Yeah. It's a great product, by the way. I know. I love it. Blue chew. I love blue chew. Blue chew gold. What a great product. I'll tell you why. Because this stuff gives you the desire. Uh-huh. And I like desire. Bobby, we're spokesman and I'm also a client. Yeah. You're not, you don't need it. No, I get, I'll get hard right now. Yeah. Damn, zoom in, zoom in. Yeah, I take it just to prove a point. Just to prove a point. Oh, yeah. Show your body who's boss. Yeah. Yeah. No, not my body.

31:15I'm the oldest amongst all of us, right? Oh, yeah, by far. Grand Wisdom. Yes, Grand Wisdom. What are you 53? 55. Okay, I'm 50. I'm still older. Yeah. What did you read? I just got you. Five years. Did you do something big for your 50th? Uh, this is so funny. What? You know, it's a, you know, I'm a good guy. We're good friends. Yeah. We got a good support system around the. Sure. I was going through it at the time. Yeah. What would you do for them? Wait, you know, we go, hey, man, what do you want to do? Well, like, we were going to fuck in. We're going to take them out to dinner. To man at a tavern. Somewhere nice that he likes and that. I don't want to fucking do any dinner. Like, he comes home like that. Oh, fuck, surprise, both funny. I will like, what do you want to do, man? Like, you know, you let us know. I guess I will, we convince us he will like we'll get stakes. We'll get some of the guys together, some of the boys, some of our pals. You guys go on the road with us. Eight, eight guys go to where we go, sparks. No, at the keens. Keens. Never been. Is it good? Yes, good. I guess it is. Look at me right now.

32:15He wasn't great. He was great. The vibe just wasn't great. I was, I was going through it. He had started not drinking. So everybody's like, I don't know if we should drink. And I go, he kept going, if you drink and drink, get a drink. Don't get a knock. Yeah, they were pussy footing around. I did and I said, you know what? He's yelling at everybody to drink. So I go, I'll throw a man at him. Sure. You know what I mean? Come to me. I jumped on the grenade first. I said, I know all the rest of the kids. They're not going to want to order because mom and dad. It was the only dinner any of us have ever been to where everybody only had one drink. And that pissed me off. Why? Because they weren't drinking because of me. No, that's nice. No, it's not. It's hard to do that. You want people that I had that. Yeah, fucking yeah. And I was, I was, I was, I was, only. Being a sober guy, I want my girlfriend who's not, you know, I mean, drink. You want people around you to, to, to live their lives. When we go out as a crew, we, people do do their own thing no matter what. It is kind of like a, I understand what you're saying. You'd rather have people live how they're supposed to normally live and not tiptoe around you. And I, I, I, I get it.

33:15I also was in the funnest guy ever that. No, I think I was kind of going through it. You were coming off. We were like, oh, let's do it. No, no, no. You're still on the wall. And he's like, I'll, I'll say a few words. And it was like, it was like, your mom just died. You're all rats. And you never loved me. Yeah. What town is this in New Jersey? New York City. New York City. New York City. He's taking a big city. Man hat midtown. Mm-hmm. I'm sure it was an odd, it was, it was an odd time. It would divide, you know, the relationships weren't great. It was one of those things like the tables next to us were having like a blast. We were like, there was nine professional comedians sitting around in silence. Nobody checked their coats either. We were all sitting with the winter coats hanging around our chairs. He made it. It sucked. You're a big checker, check your coat guy. I checked the coat. Stop putting on the chair. No, I have a good time. What is it? No, why not check the coat? Money. You just don't want to pay for the. I don't know what today were just fucking sticks in the mud. I was there to fucking party. We were the, we were the, there was no chicks there. Nothing.

34:15It was brutal. They all ran home into their wives and girlfriends. I wanted to hang out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Young guy. Yeah. 50. Young guy. Yeah. On the town. I get it. Good mood. I'm a good guy. Yeah. I have fun. Did it would be like, I'd be like, I, I did two drinks. And I was like, all right. Well, like, I'm not also fucking getting after it. If no one out like, every like a couple people did one. I think they got somebody got three people got a bottle of wine. So it was like everybody really had like one glass of wine. And then like, somebody had like, you know, is like, I'll do a rum and coke. And then they'll just switch to water. Hang on, guys. It's a rum and coke. Get another rum and coke. Yeah. He's excreting. Chastising. You want to see someone go down for your birthday. You want to see someone go down for your birthday. No, I just wanted everybody to stop acting like everything I had ruined everything. And everything was all fucked up. But you did ruin it. No, it was. But you did ruin it. I didn't have energy. No, no, not that night. I mean, the, the, the month. Yeah, the, yeah. Yeah. I bring positive, right? I'm not a big, I'm a big positive, right? Oh, yes. Look at me right now.

35:15I'm dying in the fun fun. Fun. Dude, look, watch, we will enter. Yeah. This is fun, Bobby, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Take it from the top. Fun, ladies and gentlemen, you know, serious, Bobby, you know, wacky, Bobby. We have fun, Bobby. You're gonna have a long jeans, Bobby. Whoa. Hey. Fresh off is shifted. Hot topic. It's Bobby Lee. A new Pacific sunwear model. Patrick Andrew. Ha, thank you. Thank you, man. Yeah. Open it. Oh, what is it? You do it improv. Oh, sorry. You told me what it is. Yeah. Happy birthday, Amber. Wow. Oh, my God. Thank you. It's money. Congratulations. Thank you. You know, that's what he gave me last time for my birthday. Yeah. What? Cash. How much? Can I guess? Let's get. Hold on. No, I don't, I don't, I don't remember what I, what I, what I don't do well. I mean, if it's a lot, you remember. No, it wasn't a lot of money. $1,000. I mean, the shopping for him is fucking. Oh, tell me about it. It's possible. Oh, Bobby, we got a boat of France and go to a fucking putting service and get the increment

36:18sand from the fucking dinner. And he doesn't even really appreciate it. I don't know exactly what you mean. Wait. You know what I mean? And titanium. And then you're like, $10,000. And he already has it. And you already has it. No. Because you say thank you to Ziac. Like, oh, thanks, man. You saw what he throws in a pile. And then the last time I called your wife. And I go, what? You got to help me. And she goes, I've run out of ideas. Yeah. And so. I don't want anything. I'm right there with you big guy. I don't need anything. Yeah, I don't want that stupid dinner. And I had to go. You know what I want? Dude, what the fuck, man? Your friends, you're something fucking special. Fuck that. They're all drinking in front of me. No, no. You did your friends. They're talking to you. I mean, they're talking to you. Hey, Jesus. I feel like I'm on the Edmund Fitzgerald. This thing. Yeah, the chair is not too thrilled. These are the things that I'm going to do. I'm going to do. Yeah, the chair is not too thrilled either. What? See, this is what I'm dealing with. Yeah, I really... We have to bury that chair after the broadcast. Do what? We're going to bury that chair. Oh. Oh, no, it's a bad guy. Sorry. We've had many bigger people in that chair.

37:19It's not weird to say. Yeah, I'm still working my way up in the industry. I understand. What does that mean? I'm not a big star. Sorry, Bobby. I'm a character actor. And a co-host of a podcast. I'm the same thing. And I'm the co-head of the same exact thing. Huh? We're not a character actor too. We're the same boat. But I'm telling you, bring positivity into the light. I did dinner sucked. Fuck you once in a... And by the way, Keen's, that's not surf and turf. By the way, I was a small sloppist, and I was like, I was eating crayfish. Raw fish, whatever. No, crayfish good. Crayfish. Crayfish is good. You like crayfish? He can't win with this knife. You can't kill this guy. You're talking about presence. I bought him a nice bass guitar for Christmas one year. He didn't even touch it. I buy him a pizza oven. He brings it down to his house in the suburbs. And fucking has other people over makes pizza for them. That gives it away. Some dickhead. I don't even know or like. Who's not a hot wife? And she wants me, Bobby.

38:19He won't admit it, but she does. This is all made up. No, it's not. It's getting the show. It's throwing me the fuck me eyes. Let me see what those look like. I still have. No, she was thrown at me. I know. Let me see what they look like. When I hit you back. Yeah, go ahead. Whoa. Oh, dude. Yeah. Holy shit. So, fuck you. And fuck you, Keynes. I'm just kidding. I love you guys. Yeah, they're listening. This is mine. What? Hey. Let's think you're trying to get something off your lip. I'm trying to piece a lunch for you, don't you, Bobby? You having a turkey sandwich earlier? Ooh. What's your sexy face, Mr. Stee? You know? I bet it's potent. No, no, no. I thought it. I'm a girl. I'm at a club. And I look at you. Okay. Oh my god. This club is so bad. I make so boring. I want to light it up. Oh my. Oh shit. My stomp. That's a big dick energy, right there. When you're stomp, you know it's good. Yeah, no entry.

39:19Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. What's your name? Marcus. Hi, Marcus. Hi, is that so good? It's so good. It's so good. It's so dead off. It's going to kill up my spine. This is so good. That's crazy. I drive pretend to be deaf when I go to the club. Yeah. I don't know why. It's really loud in here. Yeah, tell me about it. All right. We have. Also, that shouldn't make sense. You shouldn't be able to. I know. I can't hear. That's the bit. He's sarcastic. Oh, he's a bit of a firecracker. He's kind of funny. Yeah. You want to cut my house? Oh, yeah. You want to cut my house or watch some music? Fuck. I'm like a wet cut thing. No, no, no, no. I'm like, you get that in. No. You do. Bobby, that's terrible. What is that? It's not the same thing. It's not politically correct. I know that much. All right. Somehow mine was fine in that. Yeah, you're good. I'm really good. And the reason I bought Crossed Ice Beach. Yeah, yeah, I read.

40:19We're no good without a script, right? You guys are real actor. Thank you. That's right. Two real actors. Well, you're a real actor. You guys, man. Yeah. I don't get gray hot dogs. Cold hot dogs or whatever you said. What? How are the craft services on beef? I mean, you know, I don't, I can't go near it. Really? I'm really anything. Oh, I look a pig. No, no, it's just because I get rid of it. Because then I just keep eating. So if I, if I only eat a meal, you're good. I can't graze. Dude, I deliberately am like, I can't go over there. Because I'll just eat fucking everything. I'll eat every snack and bullshit, Nicknack that they put out. So I just go, he breakfast, eat lunch. That's it. Don't, don't go over there. I'll go get a, I'll go get a fridge cigarette. I'll go get a diet coke and then a, me. So for breakfast, you know, they always go, you show up, right? Fred's a little fridge cigarette. And they go, hey, breakfast is up. What do you want? What do you get? Oh, for breakfast? I don't eat in the morning. I'll get like an oatmeal. Hey, come on. No, not there either. Not when I'm working.

41:19You don't eat at all in the morning. Why not? I just start pickin' this throughout the day. Yeah. You smoke a lot. Yeah, we smoke a lot. We smoke a lot together. You guys had a lot of smoke breaks together. Oh my God. Outside, yeah. Yeah, smoke a lot. It was fun. Well, that's nice, right? Wasn't that bonding? It's great. Who else smoked on that show? You guys might have been the only two guys that smoked. John Nunn, prop guy. Good friend of ours. Got nothing to none her. It's also great for you. You know what's great about that show? Any cast made smoke? No one else smokes. I don't think. No one's really smokes that much anymore. I know that's good. I think. Sigs are out. Some of the young kids are smoking again because it's like, his generation, McCone's 26, I saw you. Yeah, those guys went out to the bar with him for his birthday and a lot of his friends were smoking. Yeah. I was surprised to see it again. You're not vapin', I'm vapin' now. Now, they're the older dorks vape to them. They're like, I'm not gonna be like my weird brother who vape. According to data from... I'm trying to quit smoking. National Survey of Drug Use Health. Two 21.4 million Americans use marijuana daily, near daily compared to 19 million smokers. So yeah, marijuana surpassed... 19 million people are smoking.

42:19That's a lot of heaters. That's a lot of heaters. 21 million smoke. Not every day, though. That's fucking hippies. Get a haircut. Yeah. Draft Dodgers. Join the core. 44 million Americans use marijuana regularly. 36 million American smoked cigarettes. Wow. Wow. Yeah, it's surpassed. That's kind of wild to think about it. I think it's cool. I think it's good. Sure. I mean, unless you live in Texas where you can't do anything. They just banned marijuana. Well, because of the alcohol. What's that all about? Obviously. I think they banned it across the board, right? Doesn't Texas... Anything with like THC? I think they just... What do they do? I don't think Austin... You tighten up that pressure cooker. I know. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. It's implemented a state ban delta ATHC... That's crazy. ...delted ATHC flour. Oh, all synthetics. That delta ATHC fucking trouble. What is illegal? Let's read that. And not all hemp products are illegal under the rules. You can still buy certain items that they meet state guidelines. Delta 9 THC products containing 0.3% or less of delta 9 THC by dry, weight, remain legal. Edibles and drinks. Tintures are still out of they state under the legal THC limit. So they're putting a limit on it.

43:19Great reader, by the way. Yeah. I'm not the best in the business. You're in the school for it. Yeah. You did? No. No, no. Action. What is your degree in? Actually, it is actually. Communications. Journalism? Bront can't journal on them. Really? Can you put out a complex line maybe? Three lines and see if we can read it fast. Did you want to be a news anchor? Hello. No, I just wanted to learn the entertainment industry from a different... I was communication. So I was like, well, I got to learn something about how the business work. This guy's a brilliant businessman. Yeah. He's a brilliant man. I just wanted to learn how to do it. That was really smart too. And just being... We should be lucky because we're dumb. I'm ice. Kisses that. And do we need it? We need people like this to survive. Oh, people like you and I. Oh. Free loader. There you go. Read that. Yeah. Grifters. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I got to put my glasses on. I have to go first. Yeah. Why do I have to go first? So Chinese. Alright, so here we go. Do it in English, Bobby. Okay. Betty Bopper bought a bit of butter. But the butter Betty Bop was better. So she bought a better butter to make the bitter butter better.

44:21That was really good. That is very good for a time. He doubled the line there. Yeah. It's okay. Give it a go. The same one? Yeah. Betty bought a bit of butter. But the butter Betty Bop was bitter. Oh, crap. So she bought a better butter to make the bitter butter better. I did it with style. You did it with... You slowed it down. Yeah. I took dramatic pausing. Yeah, it was actually great. I didn't know it was going to go fast. No, it's not. What is it? Welcome back to the idiot Olympics. Hey. Hey, Corns. You know what the little squirrel that saved? The little squirrel that saves. I remember as a kid, I remember going to my backyard and seeing the little squirrel save. Yeah, you know. And I was like, I want to save one of them. I don't know where to put it. You're right. Right. That's my... Hey, Corns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. Yeah. It's very, very easy with eight cards. They grow with you, whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down, eight cards supports your big and small goals across every single life stage. We all need to save a little bit of money. I wish I did it a little bit more than I was a younger flat. Eight cards is an all-in-one, no more finance apps, clothing up your phone.

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47:25Get free shipping on your order and at 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too, that's quinceqinc.com slash bad friends. Hey, Spotify listeners. When you travel with American Airlines, you'll enjoy comfort and convenience at every altitude. Before takeoff, unwind in the Admirals Club lounge with curated self-serve offerings of hearty bites and refreshments. In flight, stay connected with high-speed Wi-Fi, sponsored by AT&T. Your journey is designed to feel easy from the moment you check in to the moment you arrive. No matter where you're going, American gets you there. Book now at AA.com. Hi, there you go. You need New York. No, we don't do tongue. We can't do tongue twisters. Let's keep doing dumb stuff so we can aerate it. Like a broadcaster. Yeah, yeah. I got 50 on my idiot. My horse. I got a couple of bucks on my horse. We should compete on something. Idiot Olympics will be fucking. Yeah, I think you and I should compete.

48:25Okay. What would you compete? I'd die catholone. Just the simplest of questions. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? A second grader? A second grader? Yeah, yeah. He's pretty, Foley is pretty sharp. We've died, listen, we've done a lot of stuff on this before. He's got, like, God, that's not even through this one. I have seen Foley's, I've seen your brain open up. I think people underestimate you. Wait, I hit with that bat. Yeah, it was bad. Leakin. He was the leakin' bad, dude. No, I'm pretty stupid. No, you're not. You can't be stupid because it's like, you memorize your lines so quickly. You know it. And you're a great actor and you can't be dumb and act, I don't think. You can't be dumb in this funny, either. Like his mind operates like it. Oh, thank you very much. That looks great. Thank you, brother. Oh, it does it. How do you guys do it? You split time on stage and who decides who goes when? We do a straight standup show. Yeah. The live shows are awesome, actually. We do a straight standup show. We bring two open-air shoes.

49:25We bring Tommy Cassidy. We bring Colin Chamberley. We bring Sam Rubin off with this. Nice tight crew. We do a host feature and then Kevin and I each do about a half an hour. And then we come back on stage together and we play RU Garbage with the crowd. Who goes who goes who do you guys switch? You go first one night. No, me then him. Because he introduces like the RU Garbage. You guys want to play a lot of these the big boom in. And Kevin goes back and curates the question. I got it. I was a big point of contention. We were on tour fighting over who goes one. Really? What? Who wanted to go first? It was it to close out? Neither of us wanted to close. It was a big big. He never wanted to close. He never wanted to close. He never wanted to close. That's an old school thing. I like that. I respect that. He never wants to go second. He always wants to go first. But that's like two dads fighting over the check. I like that. That's true. You. That's better than like, no, I'm cool. No, I like it. Is denim your thing? Uh, yeah. What gives you that impression? From top to bottom. You're a denim dog. Is the denim dog? Yeah. Low key. I belong in this. Low key. This is like, I'm going to, I don't know.

50:25Bobby, low key. You are his biggest fashion, uh, inspiration. Well, he rips a lot of your style off. He's big. He's big. He's big in a salvage denim after you. He, he has your bag. I am big. I stole it. He stole it. What bag? The topo. Topo cross body. Oh, yeah, cross body. Yeah. You have that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And off camera. Oh, you told me to. Oh, I did. Yeah. That's awesome. You're like, go to the store. I got it today. They have them. And I was like, I'm stupid. Awesome. Yeah. Congratulations. You're an inspiration. I've been inspiration to you. Yeah. You're a trendsetter. You are. You've probably a lot of expensive jeans. It's an influencer. Influencer. Yes. Influencer. Yeah. Yeah. And when I do videos, I take a glass. I always do this. There you go. Yes, I'm more. You know, man. My girl. Hey, just got this. It's a proper channel. I'm ready for me. That's the direct wing. Get ready for me.

51:25Well, I'm going to an adventure with me. My girl taps. Let's go. What did your girl do? She taps. She taps to glass with her nails. Hot. I love it. I tried to force that. I was like, fine. Cut that please. How'd you meet the girl? DMs. She's slid in. She did. Yeah. She slid in. What was the line? What's sunk? Nothing. It was just like friendly. I mean, it was a good way that she was hitting on me. Come on, man. I'm being dead serious. So you got a nice ass. That's what you said, too, when you met her. I said, this is Bobby. Yeah. What does she do? She produces a comedy show in Cleveland. She lives in Cleveland. Yeah, there's a Cleveland. So you do the long distancing? I mean, it's an hour flight. Nothing. Sure. Yeah. It's still a trip, right? Yeah, I like it, though. It's just like, as long as it takes me to get home on the side. It's a fun plane ride. It really is. When you go to her. Yeah, we just took a six hour one. And I was, this was the longest plane ride I think I've been on,

52:27not drinking, and it fucking sucked. What, L.A. Oh, my leg. I'm usually, I was usually good for about no lie. Kevin, 12 to 15 double bloody marries on me. That's a fucking... Oh, yeah. I'm like bloody Mary. Bloody Mary? Oh, yeah. That's a starter drink. And then you switch to something else. No, no. No, no, no, no. You continue with bloody marries. You finish with bloody marries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'll have 15 bloody marries. Yeah. And I'll watch, I'll watch a movie. For a long time, it was everything everywhere I wanted. Are you kissing blood? No, hold, dude, he won't get up. That's a great movie. For a seven hour flight, whole crush, all that. And then just sleep or hunkered that. Because we sit next to each other. I'm an aisle guy. You're a slough. Dude, it's crazy. I won't... You're a fucking unforgivable slough. And I would eat villagers when I land. He's like a camel. Whoa. Love a bloody man. That's pretty impressive. Yeah. That was... That's always your drink of choice, bloody, huh? No, not all the time. I always drank a lot of different stuff, which I know is against the code of drinking.

53:28It would just be great. You'd be like, oh, I'll get a beer. And you'd be like, all right, I'm going to... You want another beer? If we were going to be here and you'd be like, no, let me get a fucking Harvey Wulbanger. Go now. And then like the next time, I was like, let me get a margarita on a rock with a twist of asshole. Let's say we were having a night out. We were going to dinner and then we were going to drink afterwards. Start out the meal. Let me a little bit. Okay. Right? Start out the meal with a couple... Good job interrupting, man. Dirty, hard dog. Great. Yeah. I tried to always fuck up a story. Like make sure you wedge in right here. These two are toast. Yes. When he starts to hum on a good story, just fucking slither in there and fucking just crack it. Just fuck it up. That's good. I apologize. Go ahead. It's live podcasting. It's going to be mistakes. Wait, this is live? What do you know what I mean? Yeah. We're live streaming. We're going to start off dinner. Two or three dirty, Tito's, Martinez. Filthy dirty. Crush those. Wait, what does that mean? Because I know a lot of all of juice. All of juice. Okay. So two, three. Two or three of those, right? That sounds about right.

54:29Sure. And then, you know, if we were getting oysters, I'd get a glass of white wine and solve the young belong, have some fucking oysters. Right? Like a gentleman. Right. And then either a beer, glass of red wine, afterwards, start with the margaritas, have a little appertif. Yeah. Yeah. And then if I was, you know, calling, you know, what's that? Nokia. Is that Nokia full phone? Yeah. Well, it could be. It could be. You can't play snake on it. Yeah, then start with that camera. I never heard of snake. I never heard of snake. I spent eight hours playing snake once. Wow. The overlay department. This is one night of describing what you're drinking. Yeah. If I turn up right. And I would get wet brain. That's like that, that to me was like kind of get. That wasn't that crazy. That's like the bar where it would be like four or five, six different. Like I'll be, we'd be there like crushing beers, whatever. And it's like, it would always be a new, let me try a wonky donkey. Yeah, it's a little fun.

55:29Right. I never, I don't like whiskey and stuff like that. We start doing shots. No brown. No, like, you know, no dark liquor. No. No rum, no whiskey. I was like, I'm warning when I was trying to chase away the crash. I'd put down like a, you know, bottle of makers or something like that. Oh my god. A whole bottle of that. Yeah, once or twice I did that. Wow. Just to put me to sleep. I'm like a town, a couple of town all PMs or something like that. And then you, and you wake up, how do you feel? What? Million bucks. Right. Just start today. That's when he wakes up. I get a phone call. Uh, no, feel like something's going around. I don't think I'll be able to make. Uh, do you remember I was saying my throat was scratchy yesterday? Oh, get a COVID test. Also, he cancels podge. Kevin wakes up. No, no, totally. Totally goes right to the gym, right to the gym. I was singing all out. Hot yoga. Yeah. Wow. That's incredible. I try to like to drink. And then after a show, you get done, you're all jacked up. I would do like two or three double, uh, tequila and sodas and just fucking like pound

56:29the two of them. Just to level out. Just to get across the river. Right. And what do you find? What across the river? Sadness, darkness. Oh, it's a dark place. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's not like the Delaware. It's a different thing. It's like underworld. Yeah. Great. Creatures in the West. I wasn't the best hang especially in the late stages of it. Yeah, but you're good now. You said how many months? Uh, March. March six was the last time I did blow. Okay. Good. We're talking about drinking, though. Are we? You blow up. Why is blow all of us in the fucking story? No, I mean, do you ever have shoes without socks? I mean, I was the time you stick things with hand and hand, you know? That's a mon vacation. Yeah. And then you're getting, you're really getting. But you do it now. No. Oh, okay. No, no. Do you smoke weed? No. Okay, nothing. Nothing. Meeting's anything like sober. Sober means nothing. Yeah, meetings want to rehab all that stuff. When? Do you want to a meeting today? Yeah, I want to meet in the way. Farmer's market.

57:29Good. Good in the program, baby. Got a sponsor. Work, he's work. You know, as much as I should own them every time we've had a lot of conversations about it and every time I've asked him something, he is, you know, the first kind of conversation I was like, hey, man, you know, this is you got to do something. He enrolled in rehab that night. Wow. Time there's been a bump in the road. He's doing the football team there. Did you really add the rehab? I enrolled. I admit it myself. You did. I mean, because I've been to many rehabs. I never went to a sleep away rehab. Oh, it was outpatient. It's not a patient. Yeah. IOP, Betty Ford Hazelton and Trebekah. Fantastic. You're nursing his names on the wall. All thanks. Big trophy him doing the Heisman. Yeah. I can't get in my high school hall thing, but I've rehabbed, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is true. Yeah. They're going to let you in someday. I don't think so. Probably not. Have you been to real nice ones? Real nice rehabs? Yeah. Like, I went to one that turned into a cat like a rehab.

58:30We have farm. So they make money in terms of big money by just processing as many people. Get them in. Earn in turn. It's like a chile. Right. So I agree, have. So four years ago, I remember being in line, privately, wearing, let's call back. Okay. To another podcast. Yeah. I was wearing. Are you done? Yes. Talk about neurophthen, dude. These are guests. Uh oh. I'm going to invite a guest, Bobby. Yeah. For now. And you've insulted me and now I'm leaving. Okay. Go. You're supposed to be fucking flying the plane, brother. They're passengers. I'm flying it now. I had 19 margaritas. So I went to... Uh, Captain, we've run out of tomato juice. Some man drank 147 bloody marries. All right. Take the marinara sauce from the meatball. People know that. Pinnin' out with some water. It'll be all right. I love bloody mariumics. But being in line with kids, like high school kids, waiting to get a pill. Like 15 pills. Yeah. You take it.

59:30You drink water and you're sitting there in a room. Someone's doing a speech about something. I hated it. Yeah. We used to do a show at one in New York on the Upper East Side. A detox center. A detox center. Well, these guys are like... A tough room. Four days in, whatever. It was six o'clock on a Friday, so it didn't interfere with spots. And I paid, they could pay $100 or $200 bucks. So when you're like, constantly. Go right to my Coke dealer. You're like, I'm going right to him. You're like, I need the fucking... That's irony. This is great. Dude, you sat in a living room. They sat on couches like... Oh, shit. Strong ass. Weakened. And you're... You had to do two comms. You had to eat two, 20. Talk about not one to close that. Yeah. You're doing a fucking... You're doing a fucking... Was it a bunch of comics or just you guys? There should be two comics. It would be two different comics. You didn't know... No, Mike. No nothing. Like standing here doing stand-ins. Holy shit. Yeah. He tried to do... So we like 20 minutes of that is... Is the pay hours of... So he's like a hundred bucks. 200 bucks? Cash, right there. Broker. Bored. Back in the day. Back in the day. It was like seven years ago.

1:00:30I think I'm gonna go out and rehab. And perform for fully. That'd be crazy. Yeah. You suck. I like the fat guy. Yeah. But when I was the last rehab, there was a comedy night. And I asked, can I skip that? Yeah. Because what happens is they get all the people in the rehab and they go into a room and they play Sebastian's special. Oh, they play. I thought they bring you some bucks. No, no. We're watching specials. And everyone's giving up her car at top. Yeah. And these old people don't have my friends. Andrew Santino's. Who Lularious? They know. I cannot do this. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, dude. That's crazy. It's crazy. You should have performed. And they've got a comedy night. That, you've ever seen it. Well, he's walking in. It's got a comedy night somewhere. Like, I've been out of town with my wife. We walk in like a bar restaurant. Half day or something. Comedy night in the back. And they're like, oh, and then just so you know. And I'm already fucking out the door. And I was like, we cannot. No. Cannot be here for a comedy night. You don't pop in and go up. Brother. You're gonna miss real? No. Fucking. Big star. Now, brother, when you're off, you're off. What's the night off?

1:01:30I got to. I just turn off. I can't do the. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want to be near it. It's something about it is like it gives me the, it like, it almost like makes me feel uncomfortable that I see it. And I'm like, I got to go. I can't. Is it remind you of the struggle back in the day? It's also just like, I don't, they don't, I don't, they don't want to see me there. Yeah, they do. Yeah, they kind of do. I know. I think they do. I'm like, what are you doing there? Are you going up? And then I'm like, no, I'm just having dinner and they're like, wow, and then it's weird. I'm like, I kind of get that. Yeah, I kind of understand. Eating dinner while you're working. It was kind of, you know, we started in Philly and then, like, whatever, 12 years ago, moved to New York and kind of climbed the, the ranks there a little bit in the, we went recently for content. We filmed us going to an open mic with brand new jokes. So like we, and dude, how was that? I mean, it was fuck great. It was brutal. But to see these kids, I'm like, we haven't been in a room like that. Like, they're like, you're like, ah, you're still fucking, it still exists. That's good. That's good. I love you here.

1:02:31Guys up there, you got the crazy, the absolute insane person. You got the guy who's doing too many money. You got this, they all existed. I almost started naming them as you said. I don't really call the guys in my mind. It was really cool to say. I love those days. I mean, I just, if I see, if I go into that now, because I, my anxiety goes to my neck. Oh, dude, we were, like, I'm going to, it's going to close up. We were having panic attacks. Yeah. You just walk up to this upstairs, second floor of a bar. Maybe seven people that diet coke with not a lot of ice in it. It's flat. Oh my god. It got, it got, it got, it got. I'm going to throw the boobs at the top. Oh, dude. Yeah. That should be a crime. Yes, the worst feeling is that that should be a crime. That should be against not enough ice. What the fuck. There's, there's 10 comics before you. You know the all sock. There's a little bit of an audience. And in your mind, you're like, hurry up. I want to get up there because I know I want to bomb. I got something really pal. First joke out of the gate. Panks. And you're like, all right. I know, I know, I know. So let's let's hunker down here, get some good cracks. What else I want to talk about?

1:03:32Oh bro, that one. There used to be a comic at the comedy store back today. I won't say he used to say that all the time. And that was a part of his act. Anyway, um, tell me about your family. What's your goals now? Me? Yeah, you're going on the road, right? He's living in Ian's house now. Living in shut up because of me in finance. I love you. The best. The best. That guy's a fucking machine. Is he single right now? Uh, I'm not sure. I think so. Man, when he is, he's unbelievable. That guy. He does well. He has tight body on it. He does. Yeah, he pulls some cards that you go. Good God. Pretty unbelievable. You got a hole. He got a hole. Very easily. Easy pull. What? I could pull you. That's a big stake. Then you got to take call my name real fast. Andrew. Yeah, you see easy slipping out of the seat. See how cute you got a little fast. I'm going to slip and slot it. Call Bobby. See if you turn down. Bobby. Did Ty get a murder me?

1:04:35I have done. You were like real slow. Yeah. The show gun enters. It was like an old Japanese film. My heart beat. It's way too slow. No, dude. I'm doing Fistful of dollars. Sunny J. Oh, yeah. Everything's right here. Yeah. Okay. It's in a file. I'm doing it again. Yeah. So you're watching the screen and this is this. Ready? I imagine. All right, ready? Excuse me. Can you pass me the go-john sauce? You know what it is? Why does that have to be go-john sauce? Why wouldn't it be? Okay. Ready? Go to your jungle. It's called go to jungle. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm a real. I'm a girl in a bar. Go ahead. Excuse me. Can you pass me the ketchup? What kind of girl eats ketchup in a bar? That's a big, big... Really? No, no sex. No. Okay, I don't know how to do it. That's... Do it normal like you would. Okay. Be real. Okay. Right? And I'm really trying to get you. Okay. Right. Excuse me. You Bobby Lee.

1:05:35That's pretty good. That was a true Bobby. Yeah. I think that was true. You had like a, you had to do it. Yeah. You had like a, you had to do it. You had like a, you had your smile? Yeah, yeah. I want to do it. The cute thing. When somebody goes, somebody goes, Hey Bobby, he goes, what's up? But, and he like rubs their hair. He does. He punches their tits or, they'll jiggle, they'll go, look at this fucking belly of jelly. He'll do that. Don't do that to her. Charming guy. He does that to people. I do. He's very charming. Hey, love it. I'm saying brods. Yeah, anybody loves it. Checks dude. Everyone loves it when he does that. If I even fucking remotely did something like that. Yeah, we're cold. My Christ dude. You belly jelly. You break someone's fucking soul. Maybe I think Santino thinks I'm a fat piece of shit. He does it. He could smack someone on the tits. And they're like, Bobby smack my fucking tits. They love it. They lose their mind. So I audition for this horror movie once. Back in the late 90s. Get out. No, wasn't get out. No. And nobody wanted to be in his body. I did the audition. Whoa.

1:06:35I did the audition. Okay. Come on. It was good. Really good. Like shooting clay pigeons over here. She. She. Me. Go ahead, Bobby. So anyway, um, can you say what movie was? I don't even remember. I was so Hollywood of you. Yeah. You audition. You remember every audition? Every single one. I do. Okay. I don't. And then I go and watch the show if I don't get cast on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? You know what McCone does? He helps me with auditions. He helps with auditions. And then sends me when they actually do the production and they hire the person. He'll show me the production of whoever got the heart. He did great. You got to watch tape. Drive him. You got to watch tape. You got to reinforce him. How do you think you prepare for the defensive? You can't watch tape. Yeah. You got to know what's up. So I do this audition and I can tell the director likes me. And I know this because after the audition he goes, stick around. Ooh. Let's talk. It's always a good sign. It's a good sign. And he's like, what are you about, man?

1:07:35You know, I like your thing, you know. What are you about? You know how they say that? I don't think I should tell you. Yeah. And it would only frighten you. It's like 10, 15 minutes of us talking. And then at one point we both laugh. And in the midst of this laugh, I go fatty and I poked his belly. That would have killed for me. Out of love. Yeah. And as soon as I touched it, my fucking mind and my body went, I don't think that was good. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, okay, you can leave. Yeah. Thank you. Fuck. Yeah. And I turned around. James Cameron by the way. And I walked out of that room going, what is she just do? That's hard, dude. It was like going to Hawaii. Yeah. Because you're trying to be funny, you know what I mean? And it didn't work because it's what I would do with another comedian. Yeah. And it really doesn't transfer to directors. I saw a guy doing a bit when he left an audition and he was like leaving me and being like, we were like fucking around on the way out.

1:08:35And he was like, plate glass window in one of those offices and he fucking, you know, oh, wow. And the faces, they were like, sheer concern. I was like, holy fuck, he didn't get it. This guy's good. He didn't get it. I was like, he's not going to get it. No way. Did we all sat there? We were like, fuck, dude. I thought they might give it to him just out of like this first towel heart. I mean, he took it like a chambie, smoked his face. And was like, oh, what happened? Oh, yeah. He might go, whoops, whoops, whoops. And then he found the door. I was like, holy fuck, man. So let me know what a callback is. Yeah. You guys want me to stick around for a little bit more? No, brother, get out of here. Every time I drive by 200 South, I get PTSD from that too. We had a commercial space or audition. Every time I go back there, I think about those auditions where you're leaving and you try to say something clever and do something on the way out. All right, guys, I guess I'll see you on set. Oh, you set the hat. Whoa. You set that. No. Oh, God, thank God. No, I'm saying you hear people do shit like that. Yeah, yeah.

1:09:35Let me know when the fitting is. Oh, my God. You hear people say that stuff. You really, commercial fittings. Commercial, you hear them a lot because a lot of the commercial actors, they do it every single day and they do like three a day. So they're so used to like the set of jazz. They do that shit all the time. And I dreaded it. But I would hear a guy say stuff and they would laugh and love it. And I was like, fuck, I don't have that machine part in me to do the... I was like, okay, thanks, bye. I'm like a wet little rag. I hate auditions. I'm rather tough. I don't like... And I've said this before. I might get a lot of shit for saying it. Oh, yeah, do it. Do it. But when background actors try to showcase their talent in between takes. Yeah, you hate that. You've taught. I don't know why I don't like it. I'm not a big on set guy. So what does that look like? It's just like, all right, cut. And then you'll see a guy go and start dancing. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. That's you. Yeah. Did you ever do extra work? No, that was me. I hated myself. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Bobby's laying it corpse.

1:10:35He's up doing the moonwalk. Yeah, with these showcases, they're singing abilities. Or they try to be funny. I don't like it. I saw the coolest thing. Pete Fairly did one of the coolest things I've ever seen in my life. We were shooting at Ricky Stinicky movie and he's pointing at one of the actresses. He's pointing at her and he says, when he says we got to go, you say, well, I'll take him. Okay, but it's to a crowd of people in a kitchen. So everyone kind of like nods. They're like very intently listening to his direction. He goes, okay, we're good, good. Then when the scene goes, a background actor says the actress's line, thinking he was pointing at him. And the rest of the background actors started laughing to break the scene. And the amount of embarrassment on this young man, you watched his eyes. I mean, I feel like he was like, God make me a bird so I can fly far, far, far away from here. Like he wanted to just fucking shoot into the sky and fairly takes it. He's like, okay, okay, enough. And then he takes me to go, sorry, man. I thought maybe you thought that was for you. That's her line for this. And he's like, I know I'm so sorry. I fucked it. Like he got nervous.

1:11:36Then he gave him a line. And he let's go. And I was like, that's the coolest thing I've ever been. In my fucking life. So then all the other background actors that, look at you, fuckheads. Like his mistake, he did it innocently. But then he gave him the line. And I remember looking at the other background actors because I'm staring that way. Yeah. And as he gets the line, like, well, we can go to the hospital and all the other background actors are like, fuck, like he got no, what did it? Anybody else try to do it? Like I know, no, no, they knew they, they said that's what they've done. They laughed. Yeah. They laughed when they put in the kid, you know, they put in the kid after the time was up. The game was over. It was a minute left. You know, you take them up the bench. You let them shoot up right now. They laughed at him. They laughed at him. And then he got a free fucking hit the buzzer. He hit the buzzer, Peter Dogg. Huge. Fairly's the man. So you go in on the road. Go in on the road. We got the special special coming out. Mayer Garbage. Mayer Garbage. Married Garbage. American Garbage. Go check it out because you guys are boys for life. Thank you, bud. I love the comedians today. Love, Brad is comedian. I truly love you. Yeah.

1:12:37Also, we'll say, I remember when I first did the pot. Mm-hmm. I thought, I was a little nervous for it. You're not nervous for pods, but yours is good where you kind of feel like you got to be real settled in and ready to go. We thought you didn't like us. Really? Yeah. Because I said fuck you guys when I left. Yeah. Well, I don't even think so. I say goodbye. No, why? Why? I don't even know. You were a huge get for us. No. We didn't know you. I love you. I was in shorts. You pulled up in a fucking crazy car. Middle of summer. Oh, yeah. I pulled up in a 1942 Model T. Yeah. In 1942 Model T. I had to hand crank it to get down there over that hill to West Hollywood. And then the eyelashes on it, like, yeah. Driving for lift is the time which I found weird. Well, I mean, you know, it's in the, you know, I think you have to do your service as much as you're doing for yourself. You have to do for others. That was one of our first away games where we did it out of the studio. Right. Didn't we hold in that little fucking thing? We came that way to do it. To get you. That's, that was awesome. Bobby, we put on a bus to New York. To me, eight days ago. I'll speak it over.

1:13:38We are, McCone is going to take the bus. I have the bus schedule for you, busway. He did send it to me. So I got to tell you. Awesome. McCone, let's have these guys actually pick Los Angeles. The Lord's Burg New Mexico is 12 hours and 40 minutes. And then Lord's Burg New Mexico to Curveville, Texas is another 12 hours. Curveville, Texas to Lafayette, Louisiana, 10 and 10 hours. Lafayette, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia, another 12 hours and 20 minutes. So you leave on the 22nd, arrive on the 25th. Are you ready to buckle up and buy that ticket? That's one very fun. That's crazy. You're crazy. It's like train hopping. Boys, please go watch American garbage right now. It's on YouTube. You can watch Are You Garbage Their Show. Go see them live. Thank you. God bless. Keep on the train. We love you so much. You're going great. Thank you guys. Look at the camera. Thank you. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend. I was going to say Are You Garbage. Thank you. That's great. Woo. Woo. Woo.

1:14:40Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Mr. President, my company told me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. The explosion massive water displacement and triggering the tsunami. They all heat the blame all me. Tom Cruise is. Digger, don't listen to this mess. And Digger is going to dig us out. From the director of Birdman and the Revenant. What would happen if I stopped? You stole. You freeze the deck. That's what. With great power, comes great deniability. I'm not the Earth Daddy. Digger. See the train long on. Only in two years until we're second rated R. Under 17, I'm in without parent.