KT: Behind the Tape (Ep: 785 Duncan Trussell + Kurt Metzger)

0:00It's Joe White. Joe, how old are you? How old are you now? Today, Tony. How much? Just one or three? 183. Yeah. I'm really available. Like so wide for 183. A fucking love kill Tony. Let's go. I'm getting picked tonight. I'm getting picked. Remember me. I'm getting picked. I'm getting picked. I'm gonna call famous. I'm gonna call famous. Give me three, fifth. Dick, Dick, Rodney, as boys. All right. But we out here, real comedians. Is it recording? Real comedians out here in Austin doing the motherfucking thing. All right. My name's Lingo. See me on the other side. Why are you here on a Labor Day?

1:01Huh? Why are you here on Labor Day? Is it Monday? That's why I'm here. I moved Austin for this. So, I want to be famous somewhere. Might as well start here. When I first moved here, I had a one minute set ready for kill Tony. Time went by. I had another minute that was funny to that one. Time went by. Now I got this new minute that you funny didn't love it too. So if I didn't get on it, do this joke, man. Oh my god. This is gonna be on. Please kill Tony, call my name. JP Madison, man. Trying to tell you, I haven't been through it to get through it. How many times have you signed up? At least 35, 35, 40 times. And not a single nothing. I've never been picked out once. So, maybe tonight and be tonight. But I'm gonna keep on trying. I started comedy in 94. I was a teenager. Hold on, let me show you something. Look at this.

2:01This is in 94. This is my first headshot. I started comedy in 94. I went on the road for a while. Then I moved to LA. Then I moved to Miami. But I've been doing this for a minute. So, I ain't, I'm a seasoned veteran. You understand? You are the fucking man, D. I swear to God, you have more swagger than me. You have more swagger than everybody put together up here. I'll be gone. I know that song. Hey, Peter, is this lighting wider than normal or something? Alright, let me go. Joe White, did you get laid this week? You got any clothes? I did when I laid down the sofa. What? That's the closest I came to get laid this week. Does lay on the sofa. Oh, nice. What did you do on the sofa? I had a date with my hand. Oh, okay. Did you look at porn on your phone when you did that?

3:01No, I passed that one. You have enough in the spank bank. You've made a lot of the past. I don't need that. I don't need porn. Now, let me ask you this. When you're picturing a girl in your mind and you're jerking off, right? Because you're a little bit older. I'm guessing that you picture a girl with a full bush. Am I right? Oh, no. Never. Really? Oh, no. That's a total turnoff for me. Oh, wow. Total turnoff. I would have guessed you're a bigger bush supporter than the Republican Party. No, no, no, no. I lived with that for 25 years. I'm over it. That was back when I was very... Wow. Your ex-wife had a big bush? I have moderate. She trimmed it a little bit. She was a spank bank, so you know. Oh, okay. You're good at landscaping. Hi, Heidi. Hi, Tony. Oh, my God. Oh, no. You look so nice. Why do we look so nice? Redban, you didn't get the memo. Wow. Redban, you're basic instinct. Redban's never gotten the memo. He forgot that we're so nice.

4:01This wifi is not working. It's okay. Is this recording? Yeah, yeah. Oh. Am I supposed to say... No, no, no. What's up? Oh, don't get this on camera. Look out. All right. Before we get into it, I got to tell you guys about something. We just launched Kill Tony Plus. Here's the deal. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. All right. Before we get into it, I got to tell you guys about something. We just launched Kill Tony Plus. Here's the deal. You sign up. You get every new episode, add free, and uncensored. We're giving members a brand new angle of the show that's never been seen before. This is as close as you can get to sitting in the audience. You also get bonus content. Q&A episodes. Behind the scene stuff. Extra bits. You're not getting anywhere else. And there's perks on the merch store too. It's five bucks a month. That's less than a cost of a beer or a pack of cigarettes. Or a lot of fun things.

5:02Links in the description or go straight to Kill Tony dot super cast dot com to join. This is a very, very exciting opportunity for all you die hard fans and super haters. Go to Kill Tony super cast dot com. All right. Back to the show. Hey, y'all. You know, taking control of mental health can feel overwhelming. But talk space makes prioritizing well being simple and accessible. Is the number one rated online therapy platform. Talk space connects you with licensed therapists and psychiatrists anytime. Anywhere just like physical fitness requires regular exercise mental health demands ongoing care. I know how easy it is to put self care on the back burner. But taking this step makes a massive difference better mental health directly supports physical vitality. Built self awareness and improves daily stress management. You know who needs help with all those things red ban. Talk space therapists provide practical tools to help manage life's challenges and build confidence and master the communication skills needed for stronger and more meaningful relationships.

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7:04This the real is my chance. Memphis Pampo. Yeah. I'm going to say. You want one. Yes, sir. Make it easy. And then and then Memphis. Oh my god. Hey, I'm a bitch. I don't keep she black. Creep of the crazy. Yeah. You got to come with. As I go all day. Rain, sleep or snow. Yeah. Hey. Hey, black brown and white. I'm going to pick up this motherfucker. You going. You going. You going. You going. You know what? Telling. Yeah. See, he was on like a week or two ago. Blue it up. I'm just waiting on my chance. I'm waiting on my chance to get on there and do the damn thing. Yeah. So come on, pick me man. Come on. You're made of the pipeline feeling in time. You're made of the pipeline feeling in time. You're made of the toys, you're a beautiful boy.

8:06Thank my boy Justin to be famous. Yeah, I'll do it. Mixed up right here. He's got all of us on. He's got all of us on. He's got to be given back to life then. All right, kill it, Doc. For real. Let me try my best. I'm going to throw up. He's got to be nervous. All right. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. Curse, if you have to go pee. I'm going to go pee. I'm going to throw up. You know, fall hits like a switch. Suddenly, the slow wandering pace of summer turns into earlier alarms, tighter schedules, and that feeling of everything landing at once.

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10:08Slash Kyltony. That's drink A.G.1. Dotcom slash Kyltony. If I tell Kurt to strike only when necessary, he'll probably listen, right? I feel like he did good last time. I feel like he did good. Yeah. That's true. All we can do is hope is create him to add a roll. What do you call it? Ratio is correct. Yeah, I create him. He sounds great at changing. Does he have you completely hooked on it yet? You already went through, right? You were went through the feel free thing and they got the best deal. You still dabble in it? Do you know how much creative I have to take today to have Jay? Do you understand? How much fucking creative I have? I am so addicted to fun. I have to take, it's like a, it's almost like a garbage bag size, bag of pills. I just have to constantly, I never like creative, believe it or not. I like those feel free. You never liked it. You loved them.

11:08I remember you. The funniest thing about it was realizing everybody thought I was addicted to cutting them and then just leaning into that as much as possible. Because it would make me feel sick. You drink one of those fucking things and you have to throw up like mid to the end of the night. I've never tried. Shit's nasty. But they were selling apparently at 7-11. They made it illegal now. But they were selling great umptials that were like a 10,000 times stronger than the feel free. Well they made that illegal. That was like creative e or something like that. Yeah, it's incredible. You dye your beard? Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, right? Oh, it's too cool. Wow, it's very, very dyed this. It's really dyed right? Did you fall asleep with the dye in or something? No, you dark browns didn't. The light brown. Whoa. That's great. I just got the fuck out. I'm good. Old beef chuck norris over here. Tony, what are your thoughts on dyeing your beard? I don't, I think gray is cool.

12:11I'm so excited about the gray hair side coming in that I'm like. I was so excited to start with. Yeah, I think everyone's so hard to pick it around. Yours looks amazing. You literally have the two, I mean you're fucking set. Oh, chiquit. Not before this. I think you've met before performing. Yeah. I smoked before stand up. Yeah. Um, sometimes not really. I chain smoked cigarettes, but for this thing to be able to host the fuck out of it, know where I'm going next and know what to ask next, well also letting people talk at the same time, well also trying to make wonder if they're going to do good or bad and keep it entertaining. Well, not making it repetitive. No, Sativa locks me up. Does the opposite affect her? Yes. Sativa's, I used to love Sativa's for like 15 years and then I don't know. Man, you know, our shit changes and evolves. Yeah. I'll tell you this. If you're into a Sativa, our head band leader, John Bees,

13:14has a Sativa that will make me at least pace and sweat. Oh, that's it. He's got it. No one's got it better than John Bees. I've accidentally hit his blunt a couple times and it's a really nightmare situation. We, uh, I brought this up to you before and we spoke to join together outside of Stand-Up Live Huntsville, probably like eight or nine years old before I started it. Yeah, I was there with Jeremiah Watkins, right? I very clearly remember that stop on my tours being one of the, you know, just wonkyest fucking. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, it's that room. It's brand new to, so like they didn't even know what it was. It was the sea to the middle of nowhere, Alabama. Exactly. I probably sold 100 tickets maybe. Lucy reached out and headlining it. It was a day of the iron ball. And I'm so scared. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's great though. It's the Sativa after day two. I mean, look, you know, if, you know, people want things to do, they'll want to be out of the, you know, out of the house.

14:21And they have an honest time by our bullets. I'm just fingers crossed. It's not really afternoon yet. But everybody just shows a camera to the whole point of this. Yeah. It's tricky. That's what you got to do now. Sometimes that never ends. Sometimes you'll be doing the Chicago theater while the bulls are in game seven. Sometimes you'll be doing MSG while fucking the Yankees are playing the whatever. Like shit like that never ends just because you can sell more tickets or whatever. Like God's hilarious. He is so funny. So many nights where like John Malaney and Kevin Hart are doing the other arenas or theaters in town, like every time. There's always something. It's always game seven. It's always this is their fur. They're the underdogs. They shouldn't even be in the playoffs. Always with Stanley Cup. This, that yes, sir. You know, I haven't eaten in three days, but I really have to shit right now.

15:25You're good, dammit. Hey, mother ship, how are you? Come up with something better than Jesus. We're halfway through the show you asked. We talked about that last week on this show where it's like, how are you people still coming out going? Hey, Austin, Texas, how are we tonight? You're an hour and a half into the show. They're good. Yeah, they're good. You waited four hours to sign up for this show and you're wondering, you think we're just failing? I think we're just flat lining tonight for the first time. Fucking exhausting, dammit. It's unbelievable. Oh, I really can be. And then once while you have to have it, you got to jump. You, you, me and you both. How does it feel to be the king of poker? Well, I'm playing against a bunch of mentally handicapped people. So, David Lucas is, yeah. I mean, beating. It's being honest, I beat home. I wasn't trying to do that.

16:25He's my best bud. Everybody knows we're going to Mexico together. Two weeks just being him. Fucking best bud. But, yeah, I had to teach him what was up. I had to teach him how to play the game. And how to not let the game play him. And I think he learned a lesson. You should say, go fuck with me. No, are you trying to kiss me right now? Look at this guy getting his own key to the city. I have it in my calendar. I think I might. I think I might come shop in your liberal fucking fan base. You asked him what's in there refrigerator. How I ask him what they do for. He's kidding. He's kidding. He's kidding. Don't ask any questions during the show. I'd like to get to know the contestants. You're gonna have fun in here. You're gonna have fun in here. I was not laughing. Everybody's not laughing.

17:25I will do what's in there refrigerator. You do the words. You're gonna have a question. So, what's your favorite? I think I'm gonna pick my dick out on three. One, two, three. I'm gonna pick my dick out on three. But please, for the love of God, nothing longer than seven minutes of a version of a song. I'm being dead serious. You guys ruined it for yourselves last week with that 21 minute fucking elevator music remix bullshit. I'm literally up here going. I do the same thing every week. John, John. John. Every week when you guys go down there, like during runaway, the whole room is like, holy shit, unbelievable. I go, yeah, they're the fucking best stand band in all the land. Watch this. And every week everybody's happy. The whole way through they go, I can't believe this is part of the fucking production. And then last week, everybody here's going,

18:26what, what, what, what, what, they still doing this? Red band. And we love you guys. We're your biggest fans. Yeah, they have to be up here. Yeah. It was a 21 minute version of some Stevie Wonder shit. And by the way, you have B madness right there knowing the lyrics, able to sing, and you got you just sing in the lyrics with your right hand, playing the bass with your left. Oh, oh, oh. Ever since you got your key to the city, this is how you act. Tell me more. Okay. I'll be the crowd's attention span. We're going to play 12 songs tonight. We're going to love every last one of these songs. As long as you don't talk in between every song we're going to. I got a speech for every white person in the world.

19:28Let's go in. This is my impression of her. Hello, superman. How are you doing? How am I doing? I'm using a microphone. I'm using a microphone. I'm using a microphone. I'm using a microphone. I'm using a microphone. I'm using a microphone. Do you see that black guy in white face over there? I'm saying you would have loved getting that guy with him because you two are. What are you going? I'm going with your mom's shirt. I could tweak it so that we tie it right. I just don't want to miss it.

20:29Oh yeah. Oh, just giving you a hot coffee? You got enough liquid you think? What are you doing? I'm just so you know, just a couple of people asked me to get some. Those are your friends? You got to be nice to me because we're on camera. But seriously, you just bring people with you. Can you film this? Yes. I asked for VIP and then I think they gave him a green room. I couldn't. I couldn't. Why? I was just three. I figured it was okay. Do you want me to do the picture? For now, I'm here. I don't come to where there's free drinks. I did it. Your guys. I asked. I asked for Sarah Sloan. Yeah. I just said, I was like, I assume the groomer in this pack, the VIP, or regular. It was. I'm just, I'll specify. I'm so sorry. It's okay. We're still having a good time. Do you want me to tell you a good idea?

21:31Do you have enough red bull? What are they sober? They all have a big break down at some point. They hit bottom. Your friends all hit bottom at some point. I know that. All right. Good to see you, man. That's my literally my best friend. I'm sorry. Is that just so close? You know? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's so funny.

23:24I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

24:54I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

26:51Would you like some popcorn to play some time? Come on Mike Come on, Mike. Come on, Mike.

28:03New resort in Canada. Oi! I present to you two of my favorite comedians do work and they are both considered now. They work together as the mystery boys. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the great. Don't get stressful with her dancers. Woo, here from SOMAR. You are.

29:05Make sure you check out the band off the week they played C-boys tomorrow night. I shut the door and I don't fuck ten days. I don't think there's something to do with this upstairs. Absolutely. This is an Emma Frost by the way. Oh yeah, I love it. This is not an apple. Of course I'm like, my pickup line is like you like an X-man. I'm going to be a Miss Marvel with a black latex lead. On her own. Like the red sash for Halloween. Shalot. And she's blonde. I thought we were talking about fun. We're raising money right now. Happening more often lately. This man, I'm bringing to the stage. This is his first effort cash in on this brand new gold ticket. Just wanted a couple of weeks ago. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for your first coming tonight. Very funny man. His first reach. Woo!

30:05Just ran in from six street, getting the shit scared out of me. I got came up to me and he was like, hey, you want to buy any fentanyl? I didn't know you could get that shit on purpose. I thought I had to be a surprise. You know, like an engagement or a finger in the butt. Some things are surprises. I just thought you had to get fentanyl on the side with the order of cocaine. I didn't know you could get that shit out of my cart. Let's get the hell out of it. Everybody loves you. I was like more fuzzy, more blind. Well, not only after when we got here the next night. There's something about you guys. Everyone, you're a trouble, it's like the best thing ever. Too late. Work out. That's too late. Oh, that's literally a thing. Hey, hold up, Mark. Who is that over there? Yeah, I don't even know who that is. Oh, it's Tom's Mark. It's me, he gave. Is that Omar you talking? It's me, Omar. You're kiddo. You know, one demo.

31:07Eo Simo. Oh. Easy, easy, tired. Yeah, I switched up what I was going to do because I wanted to get that quick pop up top. So I decided the fentanyl thing and then I did the call of my dad thing. Wait, when did you switch it? Right, kind of like 30 seconds before we're almost. Would you just, like, I, I, the bit that I was going to do? Yeah, it, I just, I don't know. I don't know, it was I went with my gut. I'd say everybody's advice was like, go with your gut. Showed my gut, said, you're not gonna get this one out as clean. This one you've been, you know, I've been doing that dad joke for a while. And also I think three years ago when I bombed, I think I've attempted that joke before, and then it's too long, so I bailed out. So this time I got it out clean, and I feel good about it. So how did this time on the Kill Tony feel that your last time when you won the Golden Tick? So here's how it felt different. I was just having a good day at work, and I got surprised with it last time. Today I've kind of had all day to hype my, like, freak myself out about it.

32:07I'm, it's crazy that I decided to switch the bit, but I'm glad I did. Like it's a good bit, and it's about my dad. It's kind of on brand to the other stuff of my next stuff will be more about dating and things that aren't my dad. But now we got the dad stuff out. So yeah, I feel good. My mom here. Yeah, probably him and then you. Really? How do you mean? Is it just a small gap between dating and your dad? It's very important. Right. Eight months? I got one. Amazing. You should still get out. You got one. I got one. How was it about that? You gay? How long did you date before? Three months of counts. Three to that. How do you date? I do. I tell like brush my hair. Like, a lot of brushes. Yeah. A lot of them. A lot of them. It's like driving without power. Yeah, it's a lot of work being a hot girl. Girl, 10 million. The eight year old girl.

33:07Girl. Hi, it's us. The first two kill Tony regulars. It's us. In the house. Not the place. We made this. This is built off pussy. This whole Tony built off pussy. This whole thing is built off our clip. Don't say that. She takes it back. I don't. OK. I had to get your voice cracked a little bit. You said it. All right. So how do you get my? Oh, you got shot. So many of them did here before. I'm just going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Before the wedding. I'm going to go. So what? I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Wow. That's a sign. It's a very clear sign. Did you get anything specific for you to do a lot?

34:10I don't really. What edits do you just make? I think there should be a lot of work. I just set it to run it. And a lot of it bombed. And I'm just on the fence about song. I'm going to try to find a church. I cut my cut. Did you got a wife? Yeah. Obama's dick got me. Yeah. Michelle Obama's. She's got a horse cut. That bitch is a horse. Cool. Cut that. Trump's been remaming everything. Like you just renamed Epstein's Island. Who never been there, I lane pushy grab. My favorite proof is that I wife were in a lot here. You're like in a neighborhood. Yeah. Little did they know. Obama was a real idiot. I also have a dear. And why they never have the black. And as far as me came places visited our local bookings. Where he got that foot long sent to you.

35:10On the street picked it up and said this was just charmed. Show me your face. I can blur you in public. Yeah. I'm always keep my. I'm always keep my. Where? That was hot. I'm also hot. I'm just gonna start to tell a bunch of played out racist troops. Oh, we got to cut back. Yeah, get it perfect. Why are you coming here face? Because you try to get us and paint around you fucking executed. I remember what happened to those other guys. I guess what we haven't seen paper on the shunts. You know what happens to us. Fucking creep. Stop looking at my ass. You fucking pervert. I'm gonna leave you with this. This weekend, max 25 years since the most.

36:14The tennis act was perpetrated on mankind. Silver side up by Nickelback was released. Fortunately, the twin towers came down that week and gave us a welcome distraction. Sir Winston Pickles. Now, how long does it take to put on your makeup and to stress up? 25, 30 minutes now. I'm gonna do it every day and I'll sell. It's like second nature. When did you come up with this character? It was based on Puddle's pity paddy. The singing clown, if you look for him out there, he's... He inspired me. I met him on stage a couple of times and there. That's where it came from 10 years ago. That's incredible. And who are you behind the mask? What is your ethnicity? What's your race? I'm Caucasian, English guy. People think I'm a black guy under you, but I'm not.

37:16And where did you get your dark sense of humor from? It's great. My father was not long with us, but that's where he came from. When do you want to become a comedian? My father, actually. I was gonna get on stage when I was nan singing in the mothball and I took a break. I made my debut when I was 55. So it was quite a break. I've never tried getting some ukeleptis. Perhaps rubbing it into your hands if you tried this. Muscle run, muscle run, muscle run, muscle run. I was one of the signups there and the Asian lady likes to be my godfire. How can I say that? Yeah, that makes sense. You're an individual. They'll just be like the famous, famous, famous, and chubby expression. That was close. You just gonna be able to double up the face. This is actually my first time. Wow. Incredible. I'm gonna be amazed at most people starting to warm up before talking about Black Guys, Barber Shops, Four Nouses, and Jeffrey Dahmer. I'm gonna be back next.

38:16You'll probably be able to hurt my butt strokes and my fat and bruise. They're at Quarbles' Reputation and I didn't get no glass here. But it's probably pretty good on the other side. Barber competitions be like that. This lady wasn't always a full-time roster. You know, he wasn't on a full-time roster. He saved him for like, paper views. There'd be a big build-up. You wouldn't see him for a while. I don't even come out absolutely nor. I like to think this next meeting is our version of that. Sometimes he's gone, comes back. He is an icon. An absolute freak of nature. You guys are about to go nuts. As I bring to the stage for the first time in quite a while, I think it's still something, maybe, uh. This is the long-awaited return of the one-on-only... ...that's... ...shut up. Oh, look at that. Oh, thank you. Wow. Wow. I'm gonna fuck you up. Oh, thank you.

39:16Wow. Wow. I'm gonna fuck you up. Oh, thank you. Wow. Wow. I'm gonna fuck you, girl. Um... Okay, relax, bitch. Um... Look, I don't know if you guys all know these episodes are on a delay. Okay, like this episode is gonna be coming out in a week, so... ...I'm doing topical jokes based on what I assume will happen. Oh. Goddamn. This is crazy. Do you guys see how Obama's dick pic got leaked? Yeah. Michelle Obama's... She had the horse back. That bitch is no horse. Uh, September 11th, uh... No. Yesterday it was Rose Shishana, uh, Jewish New Year, where my Jews at?

40:19Get the fuck there! Fuck. Facts. Facts. Whoa. You used to be only a good... ...three-thirds. You know, Alfie and Ena's name? No. It's like, um... It's just like a supplement, but like coders and Silicon Valley, like people that like microdose mushrooms, because they care enough about their job, but when they make some that much better, at least, you just like have that with like coffee. And that's like in that gum, it's like tiny, but too healthy, like, caffeine. And it makes it so you like, you know, when you get like chittery when you have coffee, trick coffee, uh? Yeah. You don't get chittery if you have healthy. Would you learn this information? You've never seen, like, thing on... ...and you're sure Tangreel about it.

41:19Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like one of those people that told him to fuck off. And that was like, still made it. Wow. Okay, I see. I know if you guys probably heard, but we lost someone really important in the Kiltone family. And, um... I just want to pay some respects to them, so play the video. So, there's a video. What are you fucking doing? I'm trying to pay my respect. Here it comes. All right, here it comes. Give it up for my special needs son in the fucking sound booth right now. All right, guys. Wow. All right, here we go. He just ripped me up. He's got to spit out this. And put it in. Once his bucket polo was up. Wow. I'm just like washing my separate cord from last week, just so I know I wanted to cut it off.

42:26Just in the reserves, why don't you just stand up like that to look like a dude? All right. Now, you're so right, it's near 420 Joe Barrasburg. You posted that, you mean it. But, like, there's so many people who are reposing that and getting so many views. I knew that would be big too, just because of what I've always said. I would do my open mics. But, like, fucking like 20 people under a island. And, it's like just like if the crowd reacts well with the joke. There's nothing to do with online ones. There's nothing to do with what the joke is about how good it is. It's just like how the crowd reacts. So I knew that one and I like gut on top of it right away. It's a good thing. Raise the jump in your final bucket polo. I'm gonna split this out to you. That was these.

43:33Was it? Yes. At least some time to get off. I mean, you're so funny. Is it the first time I prepared nothing for them? Maybe I know. What's been going on? Let me get you to right here. Actually, Pat, could you stand with your friends? You stand with your foot right here on his leg like this, like a model? Yes, sure. So, your foot is right here. Like this. Actually, it should be down to it. I'm definitely not doing it the other way. All right, here we go. So, Pat is the outfit. Like, similar. It felt kind of... Oh, this is my... We just got you guys sitting down here.

44:33Oh, yeah. That's fantastic. That's a great one. We haven't done it in two minutes. No, it's not. It's going well. Panel. Yeah, people think that you... You sniffed it because you didn't. Like, I think I tried to fist bump you in your eye. Yeah, I've seen people like, yeah. Ta-do-nya, fuck you. This is behind the scenes, baby. You get all that shit. Get off my black ass. You ain't never seen that. You ain't never seen that. I'm working on a new character. His name is a deadrick flim. Hey, man, you ain't never seen that. What you know about that? What you know about that, motherfucker? Would you say there ain't no black people? Is that a double dead? You have been, too. Dude, I put a tearstick in my front end. And that was not worth it. Oh, god. Whoa.

45:33I was waiting back here to hear like who the video is about. Yeah, it was pretty. Yeah. Did I tell you, right? Not at all. I heard the Martin Phillips show. A sunset when I walked in. That was a talent. Yeah, that's how fun it was. Oh, thanks, man. So, a little behind the scenes stuff. If you send some awkwardness between Pat and I, Pat tried to fuck me and Mitzi's the last episode I was on. And, you know, I let him know I'm not gay. And so, it's a little weird. It's a little uncomfortable for him. But I think I'm going to force him to be my friend, even though he tried to painfully fuck me, I know. So, just make sure you got that. Yeah. And I'm not talking to one of your asses. I love being out fucks on the stove.

46:33Fun. But now I'm excited for friend, and here's the sign up for a show. You have no idea. You guys addicted, you got a taste of that sweet sweet, uh, crystal faint juice, if you will. And now he's been signing up every week, and still being another was an interview part of the show and he's like, I'm just going to write that in here. Fuck you, don't you want to live with me? Wow. I don't think you'd be quite deep and seriously curious. You get one shot of a poop, you blow it, that's it. Carp deal. That's right. Okay guys, if this is that time, ladies and gentlemen, there's only one way to end this show like this. I call it the anomaly, the real deal. The face of John makes me wear this. This is how it feels. Oh! Oh! Oh! Last week, my doctor told me how sometimes a rectile dysfunction can be the result of depression?

47:33I was like, no dude, I'm sad because my dick doesn't work. Uh, not the other way around. Stop talking about feelings like a chick and fix my fucking penis, please. I want to come on this chest. Look at that fucking shirt, that's it. That's it. Wow. That is the Heidi shirt. It makes me feel better about doing it to myself, you know? It is an amazing shirt available at Kill Merch.com. Pat will be with us in Dallas, Houston, Las Vegas, and the Moody Center on New Year's Eve. We're going to have a lot of fun. How about one more time for the anomaly, the real deal. Pat will kneel everybody. I'm excited. We have to admit it. I feel it right now.

48:35First show up in the do-o. And some fucking idiot yells. Fuck out the time. I'm gonna help you. You know what I'm gonna do. Oh my god, you almost got to be hauling down the stairs. Wouldn't that be something? You just do plus plus, kill Tony plus plus. This party is taking a couple. That was awesome. I love the shirt. I'm gonna get you one of mine, where I have made my own. Oh really? I just saw it at the table last week. I was like, oh yeah, give me one more. I could save me a week on my floor trip. You got to order more stuff. My order like 10 outfits a week. What do I wear this week? I don't know. I love it.

49:45Alright, get it. Turn red, it's dark. Turn red, it's dark. Yeah, we did it again. Can you believe it? I can keep so bad. I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm gonna put my shirt on last. There's more of these. There we go. I love you, don't you want me in the truck? I need to hide my shirt. I'm gonna fake my death this weekend. I'm not gonna tell anybody, but I'm gonna jump. So you know. I'm gonna miss you. Is that beautiful? I'm moving here. I know. Is that crazy? I know it's crazy. I'm glad it's like a dream come true.

50:46I know, we've been talking about it. Alright, I guess I'll bring this one. I'm talking about Sarah, she's a human being. I'm not gonna get the sexual off death. I'm also a human. Is that your dog, Clyde? What? No, no. What's that? This is my second pew today. This tea place opened up next to my house. It's called HTO. It's just iced teas. It's almost amazing. So now I'm just... No, I'm not drinking huge styrofoam cups of iced tea all day. Oh, I love it. But I have to pee so much now. Oh yeah. Well, you won't get kidney scums. Yeah. I have to have a really, really cool location. Oh, I'm gonna do it. Yeah. Oh, what about any other day? Any day. Yeah. Like, I don't work. I'm just like, apparently, you're downtown. Yeah, I'm not. I'm sorry, you're up. You gotta break up. I'm here to say something. Because my life is so many. So there's so much place on these.

51:46I know. But I did that thing that's wanting me to do with the bulldozer and the asshole. I'm gonna do it with all of the kidney and all of the other things. Alright, I should've seen that cut. Dude, you're legendary. Oh, thanks so much for it. You're so funny, dude. You're like, you're like, a horribly sensitive behavior. That's great. That's great. And this time, the air horns. What? The air horns. Yeah, that's so awesome. You should've air horned yourself. I know. When you die. I was thinking of that, but air horned so many times. I told Tony, I almost went to like, Saturday night, like, have jannis going to my Instagram, guys. Up. Yeah. But then I just gave me some time and stuff like that. Or Sunday, or Sunday night or something like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, Sunday night. So, I don't know. I'm glad that he said, uh, natural causes. Because if people would have said like a car accident, then every time I was in the car, I'd be like, fuck. Fuck! Here we are.

52:46I got some excellent stone vitamins if you want. You know, I'm all we've been saying. Nice and healthy for us. It's so weird that you're eating those because I just watched a documentary about them. Well, Flintstone's vitamin. Yeah, you should, well, I'll send it to you. There's so much difference. You guys both have the natural. No, I'm fine with it. I kind of like the craving for outside orders on Amazon. They were like, 20 sticks don't work at all. When I was a kid, I was just eating those like, canned maybe because my mom wouldn't be a candy. Right, you're the candy. You're the candy. Dude, they're so good. Not the same. They're not the same, but they don't really good. Well, it was created, just watched a documentary bit. No. No. Is it going to be long? No, they're just, they're not. They're just, they're as shiniest you think they are. Yeah. That's pretty much. That makes sense. And, Betty, I think, whatever Fred, not, no, Barney's wife. I, Wilma, I guess she was the only one that didn't have a Flintstone.

53:48I think it was her. And then people got an ad to the neighbor. But, uh, I'm a little boy. I'm not here. This is the documentary. So, it was one of those, why am I watching this? Yeah, yeah. But I'm going to eat walking. Yeah. I'm going to eat some. I got to watch it now because I got, I've been eating them every day. I'm going to eat them. They're not going to do anything for you. Just eat candy. No, they have literally like zero in a few- Zero, zero in a few- Zero, zero in a few- Like, for like, children, they're like 100% of people under four- Yeah, and they're just wasting money for the taste. That's probably, I wanted them more. Well, you hate to die too, I bet. Yeah, I'm looking at it. It's bad for you. No, but I'm saying there's candy. I'm sure I can get you connected with like a Japanese heart candy that tastes like it. I got a sheep's eye. I know. I know. Sure for her. Dungen, question your question. Thank you so much for your time. Really funny. Thank you. See you guys later. I got a little bit of a... Man, I flew from Seattle this morning. I'm here at a guy.

54:48I'm a bummer. Come on, dude. I know. We need to hang out. I would love hang out. We need to... We got to keep out more. Yeah, we got to nerd out sometime. Suck each other's days. Yeah, we got to slug the whole thing. I know. I got to see all day. We're gonna go a week left. Right now. Oh yeah, you're the guy. I'll come over tomorrow. Yeah, I love nerding out. I get to. You're actually the least sluddy. She's actually the least sluddy person I know. Even though she looks like hot set. Like she looks like she is just tripping with sluddiness. She is actually the least sluddy person I know. Even though she looks like hot sets. Like she looks like she is just tripping with sluddiness. She is actually the least sluddy person. Seriously. Seriously. No, I don't think she's gonna look a hair or a sluddy. No, I don't. I mean, no, I don't. I honestly, you know. If I were single, I would take a slow road. I'd be like, let's go church together. Yeah. I would make police for her. You know. I would take this over.

55:49I would let you make a... I would make police for her. I would work out. I would work out. I would work out. I would lose weight. It would be my normal self. It would be my normal self. It would be your best self. Whenever I'm not in a relationship, I just transform it in like three months. Like I just lost baby parents. Working out like, I'm only eating lettuce and stuff. It's pretty fun. I just have been able to do that in 12 years. Thanks, Charlie. You're loving Janice. I miss it though. I miss working out. You can work out. Janice is pretty healthy. You can work out. Janice is pretty healthy. You can come work out with y'all. Take your out. Wait till Janice is gone. There's a guy. There's a guy there all day. There's a guy there all day. Yeet! Bop! So, man. Here's a goat. Oh man, that's crazy work. I appreciate you, though. Everyone loves you. That's wild. I love it. These are the film you. Shout out to everybody out there always watching us. Always supporting us, man. We all love you. Yes, sir. Thank you, bro. Appreciate it. We'll see you all next week.