The Body Politic Part II

0:00With the US bank smartly visa signature card, you earn an unlimited 2% cashback on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal. No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cashback on every purchase. So now just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand and I didn't get cashback and I regret it now. Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift. Do you wear a wig or is that your hair? Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. Okay. And so it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me. Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cashback. Yeah. Visit usbank.com slash smartly card to learn more, the creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from visa USA Inc. Some restrictions may apply. Granger knows, if you're a procurement manager at an industrial manufacturing facility, you're balancing inventory and budget while sourcing critical supplies across the operation. Too much inventory?

1:00Cost climb. Too little? Production slows. Granger's $2 billion in on-hand inventory helps you get what you need when you need it. So you can help keep budgets balanced in lines moving. Call 1-800-Granjer. Click ranger.com or just stop by. Granger. For the ones who get it done. We are back for a Conan O'Brien needs a fan. We are back for a Conan O'Brien needs a fan for a part 2 with a guest, which I think is like the first time we've ever done this. I think it was the first time because we started talking what Grace does, fascinates me. Grace is a body modification model and tattoo artist. She's talking to us about body modification. In the previous episode, which you've got to listen to before you listen to this one, you talked about many things. You talked about having your eyes tattooed purple. You removed your belly button.

2:01You have a split tongue. You have various face cuttings, which we haven't even discussed. And then of course, we got into what you might suggest for me, which involved splitting my penis in half. You screwed them. Yeah. I guess I'll be using a big shaft. Yeah, I'm sorry. A shaft. And let's just call it a shaft. The shaft would be cut in half. And then the scro-tie would be separated. I guess if you're making two, they would become scro-tie. Wow. Yeah, I just love saying scro-tie. Sure, we get that grammar, right? And then you can't split an infinitive or a scro-tie. So anyway, and then we ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Sonia, do you want to restate your question for Grace? I thought when Grace was describing the penis split that when it gets erect, it just naturally comes back together. It's a transformer. It just suddenly becomes a monster truck.

3:02A monster truck. You want the girth in there. Or you want the girth. Well, yeah. I don't want, you don't want the half. You want the girth. You want the whole thing. So I was like, do you tie it together with something? How does someone a guy perform the act of intercourse, if you will? How does he perform that act if his Don Johnson is split in half and one's going slightly to the right? And they're at a 45 degree angle to each other. Or is that a new kink? Is that a new way to please women? Maybe it is. I think that depending on the anatomy, it's probably going to have some difficulties in having conventional sex. I also think the men who are interested in cutting their dicks in her aren't interested in conventional sex. Probably not even interested in sex. Oh, interesting. I think the desire to have, you know, if you're desire to split your penis is so great

4:03that you actually do it. It's got to be greater than having, you know, it's going to be going into the unknown of like, I have no idea what my sensitivity is going to be like after this. I don't know if I'm going to be able to have sex the way I used to have sex will, you know, in that sense of general intercourse. But yeah, it's, I also just to say like in my experience, most of the people that have a lot of extreme genital modifications, especially men, are usually people who don't have any other visible tattoos or modifications and usually are in like pretty corporate, high power jobs. Interesting. Wow. Where's Adam? Adam Sacks couldn't be here today. He says he's actually, he's in Europe right now. That's is true. He's in Europe. He said he's in Europe with his family, but I saw his wife yesterday at the Aeroan with his kids.

5:05So I don't know what's going on, but he might be next time we see him, this is really fascinating. Yeah. So, so I feel like Grace is saying I wouldn't meet one of these guys just like at a bar I'm at. No, and he would not be interested in me round the bleep. Well, first of all, I don't think slip split dick guys want this. I'm like kind of like a great name for a band. Yeah, it isn't it? Yeah. Right, so I don't know what's going on, but he might be next time we see him. This is really fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder why I love you every day. And more with like really beautiful harmonies. More and more I see you now. See you now. We'll be back with more split today. Split tape will be appearing at the Newport folk festival next week. Don't miss them. It's Ron on dulcimer and Jeremy on the 12 string nylon guitar. Those are just the devs for the two halves.

6:08Split dick. Split dick. Grace, this is just fascinating. As much as I want to stay with the genitals and I do love to hang with the genitals, I do know that you've is that for me, by the way? Oh, that's from last. Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't know why I didn't come off. You know what I mean? Don't be Ronaldo. Be messy. Oh my God. Sorry, don't have people hate you. Have people love you. Oh my God. I'm not going to stay on the genitals just because I think this is what fascinates me. I have follow up questions. Okay, go for it. Are you planning on anything new, Grace, or do you feel like this is you've arrived at where you'd like to be? Oh, yeah. I don't think I would get any more body modifications. I think I'm kind of done. But the only thing in that realm that I would do, I know I'll do again, is the body suspension. What? You know when people hang from when people hang from her. Wait, what? Better like in their bodies, right?

7:08In their skin, right? Yeah. Wait, excuse me. I don't, I've not heard of this. People are suspended from hooks that go into their skin. That's like a medieval torture. How does that not hurt? Like crazy. Is actually the most euphoric and blissful experience that I've ever had. You've done it. You've done it. I've done it multiple times, yeah. So where did the hooks go? The first time I suspended, I just had two in my back. It's a kind of like above the, below your traps above your shoulder blades. Yeah. But I didn't like it. I felt very constricted. Uh-huh. And then one of the, there was this girl called Alice who used to facilitate all the suspensions back in the day. And she was like, Grace, you need to be upside down. There's nothing better. So then I did my first knee suspension. I, they put two hooks either side of your knee. Um, in the skin, in the skin. In the skin, yeah.

8:08I can't believe the skin doesn't give way. I know. It's incredible. I think the body is so cool. Unbelievable. Yeah. It's unbelievable how strong your skin is. Like if it's pierced, obviously it has to be pierced under the epidermis and go through all of the layers. Um, and it has to, you know, throwing hooks, they call it is like something you have to have done by someone who knows what they're doing. Um, and it's not something you can just do yourself in your back garden. Like, um, but it's honestly incredible. I've seen people of all different shapes and sizes suspend. And what is it that you said this is feeling of euphoria? Do you really feel like you're floating? Is that it? Do you feel like you're free of her's gravity? Yes. Um, it's, yeah, it's like the most blissful, obviously there's an element of pain when they put the hooks in. That's a bit of a, you know, moment. You've got to brace yourself for. And then when you first get lifted up, some people go up really slow, some people go up really fast. I like to just get up there and get it done.

9:09Um, because that is the uncomfortable part. But once you're up there, you just have to kind of relax, like getting a deep tissue massage, you know, like relax the body. Like deep breaths and then this kind of wave of calm and euphoria just kind of like floods over you and being upside down and being, because I like to, some people just like to be static. I like to be swung around, you know, people holding my hands and like swinging me around. So I'm just like, you know, a little ribbon on a maple. Um, and yeah, it's just, it feels incredible. That's so cool. Yeah. There's like a lot of medical, obviously, right? Like a lot of people who do this have to have some expertise, like are they nurses or doctors who just just feel figuring out how far the body can go. I'm going to bring up one word infection. So if you're putting any, I would guess you'd want people who are sterilizing everything before, you know, someone who has like a piercing background or who has been doing this

10:11for a long time. And you know, all, all hooks and needles, needles of single use hooks are sterilized in auto claves, you know, like tools are for surgery. Like you want someone who knows exactly what they're doing when it comes to the levels. We've like the rope, sing getting everything sorted and like actually the rigging of it. So yeah, you don't just want to like wing it or go to someone who isn't experienced. Usually there's like crews. So like suspension crews will stick together. Like a group of people like that, like in Europe, there are like really, really like radical suspension and body modification, like subcultures and like groups of people. When I was coming up in it, we were doing suspension, but like nowadays people were doing like free-fall suspension. So instead of like, you know, pulling yourself up gently, people are literally jumping off bridges and doing like bungee swings. But instead of being, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry.

11:11I wouldn't quite certain that if I jumped off a bridge with these hooks in me, you'd hear a tearing sound and a skeleton would go shooting it into the, into the thames and a freckled body bag with a red pompadour would be hanging like a popped balloon. A freckled body bag. Freckled body bag would be hanging over the thames, flapping like the flag for a really fucking sad country. Quite certain that would happen. Did you know college students get 50% off a Walmart plus membership? Who knew? Until they gave me this piece of paper, I didn't know. And it's amazing because with Walmart plus, free, same day delivery can often save the day, especially in college, between studying classes, nights in and nights out. It's nice to have groceries and more that come to you.

12:13I could have used this back in my day. Yeah. I used to just suck on pebbles. I found on the right. Yeah. I didn't have a way to get food in my dorm. Picture it. There's a paper doing six hours, a group project that somehow became one person's project. Hello. Roommate won't stop sneezing in the next bed. Walmart plus your favorite study snacks, cold brew and cold medicine can show up right at your door. If you have Walmart plus, you got this stuff right away. Right. Need a new moisturizer? Place the one of your roommate borrowed? Well, that's a strangely specific thing to say. Well, guess what? Delivered free. Cool. The perks of Walmart plus for students are something you might not learn in any of your courses, but that's what this ad on your favorite podcast is for. Try Walmart plus free for 30 days. Project to availability of $35 minimum restrictions apply. Did you know that there's a victim of identity theft every two seconds? That makes it the number one crime in America.

13:14Wow. Well, luckily there's life lock. Life lock detects threats to your identity. Then it alerts you when something looks suspicious. And if identity theft happens, they fix it guaranteed. That would be a good thing to know. That would. I mean, I'm sure if I got my identity stolen, I would just wait too long before I like you might not even know it. That's true. You might not know it for a while. And then later on someone says, by the way, how did you enjoy your six months stay in a castle in France? You're saying, what? Yeah. Yep. They have live US-based experts who know exactly which calls to make and which steps to take handling the hard work of proving you are who you say you are until your identity is fully restored. And if your money is stolen, you need coverage for personal expenses or lost wages due to identity theft. Life lock has your back because your protection is backed by life locks million dollar protection package. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com slash Conan. That's lifelock.com slash Conan to save 30% terms apply.

14:22Big news, sona. Yeah. Global recently partnered with the National Park Foundation. No way. Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected so you're free to wonder. Well, that's really cool. And I love a national park. I really do. I do too. Now, there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal. It's a priority. Do you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. Yeah. So take America's best network plus their off-grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff. And suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon. Oh, okay. Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T-Mobile and never had to chuck them again. You know? Good. So wander over to t-mobile.com and switch best based on analysis by Ucla of speed test intelligence data for two H 2025. Wow. That's some sense. T-Style light with cable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky. That's important. Yeah.

15:22Service may be limited or unavailable included with experience beyond or $10 per month. Auto renews. Cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer. Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing on a repeat? You know what I'm talking about? The sweater that goes with everything. The perfect pair of pants. I mean, just perfect. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quinn's does best. Quinn's focus is on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials and timeless versus styles. These are dependable pieces that you reach for a day after day and it's not just clothing. Quinn's brings the same approach to everything, hotel quality bedding, bath stuff, kitchen essentials. You're a Quinn's man. I am. I have like jackets from Quinn's. I have pants and I just recently got like a face tool that is supposed to help my skin. You know what? Your face looks better. Hey, thank you. I'm going to tell you something.

16:23I used to hate your face. I hated it. But then Quinn's. And then after you hooked up with Quinn's and started using your face tool, you call it? Yeah. Why don't you read the box and find out what it's called? It's like a Thera body. There you go. Face tool. Yeah. Don't just say I've got a face tool. It sounds like you bought a gardening rake and you're clawing it past your cheeks. Anyway, Quinn's what's not to like? No, fantastic stuff. Find your next fall favorite at Quinn's. Download the Quinn's app for app occlusive offers or go to Quinn's.com slash Conan. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too, that's qunce.com slash Conan. Hey, I have a question. You were talking about how. You were talking about you. You could have your case on it. That's the worst imagery. I'm. I'm a big shirt.

17:24It's. What about. Don't do the sound effect. It makes it so much worse. So. So grace. Oh my god. When you advise that I. Separate my scrotum or a scrodi. We'll get some, of course, some viewer mail from that. Latin scours are writing in Latin scours with a ball since ball fixation are going to be writing. What will I. And you said I would get a big ring in there, like a metal ring. Am I crazy to think that that could be all purpose that I could use that to hang from? Would that work? Could I hang from it? I wouldn't jump off a bridge with that. It's suddenly you've got. It's like your pickup truck and you have a hitch attached. Right. I would now have it. I would have a hitch utilitarian. So thin. Isn't that skin really thin? Not mine. I probably wouldn't recommend suspending from the scrotum.

18:25You wouldn't recommend it. I'm writing this down. Don't recommend suspending from scrotum. Then you know, my scrotum is one contest. Yes. I mean, it's one of those things that is strong. But I could also, and this is an attachment that could be useful if I had a scroto ring. That's, I know where my keys are all the time. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I've got one of those little pill canisters. So, you know, my lipitor is in, is hanging off one. This is, I mean, you know where your shit is. You know where everything is all the time. There's no where did I put that. It's right here. Don Johnson's got me backed up. Does that make sense? Yeah. Does that makes, yes, it makes complete sense. Yeah, it's a good place to put your cholesterol medication for sure. Well, now you're complicit in my crime. Thanks. The, you know what, keep it, keep down there. The, the, the nipples that I had removed.

19:25I would put them on the ring too. It's like a duffle bag in your bottle. I've got a pile of shit down there. Oh, oh, a little mag light. Yeah. God dammit. I can't find my, like a go bag. Yeah, it's just always with you. Go bag next to my bag. You should also have your keys on one of those janitor retractable chords. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so great. I could reach into a, basically I would cut a hole in all my pants pockets. So I'd reach into my pocket and then, and I'd pull out whatever I needed. Yeah. And then I'd let go into the, I'd hit my, my junk and I'd get a quick erotic. Ooh. Maybe have a quick mini orgasm. I'm like, there you go. There it's unlocked now. Zing. Ooh. Anytime for someone needed a door open, be like, don't ask code in. Yeah, yeah. I'd be offering to open my door for anybody. Hey, you want to go in here? No, no, no, no, no, no, we're going to, we don't really need to.

20:25We're good. I'll open it just in case you ever need to go in. I'm seeing. Wait, wait, wait for a locksmith. Grace, you broke our podcast. Oh, I found it. I found it, John. I never knew that this, this very cool woman in Bristol, England could destroy a podcast. Yeah. Here's the problem. I think I'm going to have questions later that I haven't even thought of yet. And I feel like I can answer the, okay, oh no. I can't think of two people that are more opposite than you and Grace. Yeah, Grace, let's face it. I'm an uptight guy. And I've played by the rules in so many ways, except in my comedy, I believe. That's where I let my freak flag fly. Yeah. But, um, yeah, you're the split dick of comedy. In a way, I am. In a way I am. Yeah. I'm not. The corals. They mentioned that in the Twain Award. I was welcome. This split dick of comedy.

21:25Clifton Twain. Never those Twain. Show me. Listen, the, uh, I'm just, we are very different, but, um, we're so different. But I do feel like I, I have a real affinity for Grace because. Yes. There's that thing where it's like the game Pac-Man. You're so far a field, but if you go through those doors on the side, you're really just next to each other on the back. You know what I mean? I'm not sure I just thinking Pac-Man too. Um, but Grace, do you think in some ways were kindred spirits, even though we're so different? Absolutely. Yeah. If I, I mean, let's say I was in Bristol, England and you and I were hanging out, would we, would you sense like, okay, I know he's, he's, he's completely square. He's very uptight. But would you also see some, okay, I kind of get this guy. I have no dire mind. If you came to Bristol after like a pint of cider, of like, cause it's very big in Bristol as the cider, after a pint of cider, we would be out at an illegal rave.

22:28You would be dancing the night away. You know, I might actually. I think so too. It's so funny because I have, I've always been this way and then it just takes a little bit of spark of something and there's nothing I won't do. Yeah, it's actually true. I think that there, I mean, I like these CEOs probably didn't know they had that in them. And then they needed somebody to get it out. Maybe Grace, what? Adam. Yeah. Maybe Grace will get it out of you. Maybe. What if we're talking to Grace? Adam. Adam walks by in the background wearing a surgical robe. Postdoc. But still throwing, trying to throw to ads. Yeah, yeah. He's like, uh, Adam is that you, he just, he doesn't even know we're there. Yeah. But then he sees, he sees us and he goes, oh, make sure there's a dynamic cat insertion. We need to bump up the third quarter. Adam, what are you doing there? Well, I'm waiting for my dick to heal. I went three ways. He's got three.

23:28He's got the tripod. Where are you? Where are you moving to in the States? I hope it's not like Wisconsin or something. I don't know. Or maybe it is. What? I'm coming to that. Oh, great Grace. Grace, you have to come back and visit us. We're at, uh, we have a little studio here in large mind. We do a part three where you're in the room, you know? I would absolutely love that. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah. So when do you arrive? I'm actually coming out in July by, uh, for, uh, the month. And then I'll be moving out with my dogs in November. Hmm. Well, can you, yeah, coordinate it. Yeah. So, uh, I'll, uh, play, we'll coordinate that with you, Grace, and we'll get you in studio. And, um, I will, uh, and start fasting now. Uh, what are you fasting for? My operations. Oh, okay. You get, you know, it's just, these are the things you have to do when you're about to, uh, have work done. But you seem to know a lot about it. Yeah. Oh, I've had many things. And I have lots of ideas for Sonnex.

24:28I know you ask me what I, I think, um, Conan should have as book modifications. I've got some ideas for you, babe. So we can go over that as well. Oh, let's say that is a cliff hanger. That's going to be the cliff hanger when you're here in studio. And maybe you'll do it. Whoa. Whoa. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. Sonnex. You won't. Let's not give them away. But I will say that it's, it's tree hog core. Oh, hell yeah. All right. We're going to do it. Well, let's wait to see what it is. First thing we're going to do it. You can just offer me up. Yeah. Thanks you for part three. We're definitely going to do whatever this idea is on the table right here. We'll be having Sonne will be having surgery in the podcast. First time that's happened on the podcast. And Grace is going to talk Conan and I threw the procedure.

25:30We're going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Grace, so fascinating talking to you, entertaining and lightning and just fascinating and we can't wait to meet you in person. Yeah, thank you so much, honestly. It's been a pleasure and I really appreciate you having me part of it. Oh, of course. What a delight. All right. We'll take care and stay cool. I know you guys are having a heat wave right now and. I'm about to go and get in the paddling pool in my garden where I've been all day. I'm just going to sit in the dark in my garden in a paddling pool. Okay. Try and cool down. Don't rust while you're in there. I'll try not to do. I'll try not to. All right. Take care Grace. Bye bye. Thank you, darling. Have a good day. Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liyah. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy.

26:58Bandora makes it easy to explore all your favorites and discover new artists in genres you'll love. Enjoy a personalized listening experience simply by selecting any song around them and we'll make a station crafted just for you. Best of all, you can listen for free. Download Pandora on the Apple App Store or Google Play and start hearing the soundtrack to your life. It's okay to brag every now and then, especially when it's over savings on designer picks from Ashley. Sleep deeper with a great deal on the five-piece contemporary Kristyland bedroom set. And when your dinner guests compliment your course-done-round dining set, don't be afraid to tell them you saved big and that it comes with convenience storage options. With savings you can be proud of, why not boast a little? Visit Ashley.com to shop designer deals for your home.